Dave Arnold’s Mom’s Stuffing (the recipe you’ve all been waiting for)

Okay, okay! WE KNOW! It’s been a whole year and we’ve been making you all (y’all) wait for this insane, soon-to-be-family-standard recipe from our good friend, Dave Arnold, who is admittedly is still trying to figure this out from his own mom’s recipe. This is THE. ACTUAL. DAVE. ARNOLD. filming himself making the aforementioned famous stuffing with some of our flourishes of text and music. I mean…this is it. Nobody, including Dave Arnold, knows how long to cook it or at what temperature you should cook it at, but we’re confident if you’re still reading this, you’re going to do just fine. Below is Dave’s own WRITTEN directions:

Dave Arnold’s Mom’s Stuffing

My stuffing is straight ’70s white-folk shit, and I love it. Neither I nor my mom know any exact
proportions. The only thing she advised was one tube of sausage (always Jones pork sausage roll)
per loaf of Pepperidge Farm white. (Not some other kind of bread, and not dried. Wonder is too
soft.)

*The rest is by eye.
Sweat onions and celery in butter, set aside.

Sauté mushrooms (sliced buttons, duh), set aside
.
Break up and brown sausage in a pan (like you would loose chorizo for egg), set aside and reserve
grease.

Melt some butter
.
Drain some canned mandarin oranges and break up the wedges
†
Tear the bread into pieces in a big bowl

Locate eggs, salt, pepper, and poultry seasoning
††
Toss in all the solid ingredients with the bread. Add some eggs, the sausage grease, some butter,
salt, pepper, and, most importantly, poultry seasoning. Mix it all up. It will be too dry. Add some
combo of more egg and butter and, I’m guessing, more poultry seasoning and salt. I usually
immersion-circulate this first, then remove the backbone and rib cage of our turkey and cook the
bird over the hot stuffing plug. Do what you want, though. If you’re going to cook it without meat,
you might want a bit of stock or something.

Recipe Club Notes
*
If Pepperidge Farm isn’t available to you, you’re looking for a standard white loaf that has a little
bit of structure. Nothing fancy. And you don’t have to toast it first. Trust us.

† Yes, mandarin oranges from the can. They don’t stand out in the final product, but lend their
sweetness and moisture.

†† We know you’ve been trained never to use dried herb mixes like this, but this one works in this
context.
Dave Arnold’s mom adds: It’s gotta be a dense bread to hold up. Also FYI, you can cook the stuffing
and freeze it. I sent it frozen to my daughter in Italy one year, and it thawed perfectly en route so
they could eat it right away.