$190 Taco Bell Wagyu Steak Quesadilla Taste Test | FANCY FAST FOOD

Today, Josh and Emily are fancifying Taco Bell by creating a $190 wagyu steak quesadilla!

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Can I come to your yoga retreat? Let me in. Let me into your yoga retreat. No one can pass up a Taco Bell steak quesadilla, especially not your favorite chaos goblin cooking duo. Okay, that’s good. Stop! Ah! It’s all right. Will we be able to spiff up Emily’s go-to order?

Is Emily’s name secretly Quesadilla? Quesadilla? Yeah. Pinkies up, my dudes. Because this flour tortilla, steak, melted three cheese blend, and creamy jalapeno sauce amalgamation from the gods is about to get fancy. Oh man, now this is my kind of show. All butter. Why hello, there. May I have two steak quesadillas,

Two sides of guacamole, and then an order of strawberry twists, please. That sounds like a delight. Can I get a nacho cheese sauce? [Taco Bell Employee] Okay, strawberry twists, yes. How many orders? Just one. Ah! We’re gonna shoot it! Two nacho cheese sauce. And then two sides of nacho cheese as well.

[Taco Bell Employee] Two sides of nacho cheese? Yes, sir. Emily, crack open them ‘dillas. All right. These are the twists that we got. They smell very artificial. Yeah. It smells like breakfast cereal. Look at that. The mayonnaise oozing out of this. The sauce is so overpowering, in my opinion. I love it.

And I love it. But did I tell you that this is my favorite Taco Bell thing to order? I did not know that about you. Well, I told Annalise I thought- So hot. Maybe you picked this just for me. Well, I told you to wait. That’s the shooter for after.

Oh, you put the fire sauce in with the cheese? Float the fire sauce atop the nacho cheese. Can I dump mine in yours? Please, please, please. Okay, cool. Mm. You gotta fold it like a New York pizza. This is what they do in New York. Ah! Gabagool! Gabagool. It’s steaming. Ah! Mm.

This is one of the best Taco Bell quesadillas I’ve ever had. Taco Bell, I love. But it is variable location to location, team to team. You know what’s weird? Mm. I even like it when it’s cold. Taco Bell at any temperature is great. It’s just a different experience.

I don’t think all Taco Bell at any temperature is great. I think the quesadilla is. I love Crunchwrap Supremes when they sit for like half an hour and then the crunch just gets absorbed by the wet of the lettuce. Ew. Okay. The steak has made improvements.

I think we can improve on the steak, though. Well, I’m positive that we can, ’cause every time we do something with meat, you end up doing something that’s-. I love our beef. Otherworldly. I love our beef based episodes ’cause we can use really expensive steak.

Yeah, I feel like everything we do is beef based. Yeah. There’s only so many fancy chickens you can get. Oh. Slainte. Cheers. Oh, why? Ah! I need a strawberry twist. Ooh, gimme one. There’s not enough Diet Pepsi in the world. I’m gonna, I’m gonna dunk it in here. Oh no. Yeah. Oh no.

All right. Wait. I got a great idea for an intro. Okay. All right. I was gonna go. Let’s go. What’s up? What’s up? Are we rolling? What the fudge is up, Emily? Ow. Sorry. We both drank a lot of Red Bulls, like right. Yeah. She was chugging it

And burping it not three feet from here. Quesadilla. Yeah! What does it start with? I just responded to that like that’s my name. Slice. Say it a little bit. Quesadilla. Say it more sensually. Quesadilla. Oh, hello. Yes, that’s me. And I am Antonio Banderas. We are making a quesadilla. Quesadillas start with what?

That’s right, a tortilla, Emily. Tortilla means what? Like little cake technically in Spanish. Oh, that’s nice. Little humory. I had an epiphanal moment where I wanted to make tacos in the Mythical Kitchen for lunch one day ’cause I wanted little tacos. But we didn’t have any packaged tortillas.

We did have packaged chapati from a local Indian market and I found out chapati, that might be better than tortillas. So we’re making a fancy chapati right now. This is a delightful Indian flatbread. It is very layered. It’s also common in other cuisines.

You find it a lot in Caribbean food as well as Kenyan food. Ooh. I love me some chapati. You wanna start making it? Yeah. Drink this, you’ll get smashed. You’ll get snookered. You get snockered. You’ll be laughing at carpets. You’ll be bit by a fox, don’t you know? Sorry. Cool.

I don’t like that they put that in a bottle that looks like it’s liquor but it’s just water. It’s just water. That’s Voss’s domain. No, this is- Don’t mess with Voss. Four registered trademarks. Water for wellness. That’s trademarked. Those are just three common words. Nano pure. That means nothing. Restructured?

I don’t even know what the structure of my current water is. And then hyper-oxygenated. That sounds like something- Yeah. It’s hype. Connor would tell the con heads to do to their wine in “Succession.” Who is that? You just sounded like you told me. The whitest man of, Connor from Con Heads?

Connor from “Succession.” The Con Heads. Drink that water. Oh. You’ll be regenerated. You’ll be restructured. You’ll be restored. I got that in my mouth. That was nice. I missed it. The water- I don’t like that. It costs $15, it’s from Erewhon. This is Fancy Fast Food. That tastes like hotel pool.

It really does. So I’m adding a fair amount of Okinawan sea salt. Ooh, that’s like wet salt. That’s good. To this whole wheat flour. So we got whole wheat flour. We got this from the Indian market. Chapati’s typically made with whole wheat. Yeah. Add some of that hojicha green tea.

So one of the reasons I wanna use whole wheat in this, we’re trying to dial every flavor up. We’re using really strong flavors with this steak. I wanna make sure there’s strong flavors. Smell that. In this chapati. Chapati, the whole wheat, it gives it this beautiful, like savory wheatiness.

Hojicha’s got this beautiful, deep, dark, grassiness. Darker, more roasty than a matcha. Put some of that in there. You like that smell? Do we have to? Yes. No. We get to, Emily. It’s fun. It’s the kids. It’s the kids. I wonder if we’re making something good

Or if you’re just trying to push people’s buttons. Good, bad is a false binary. They’re merely experiences. Submit it for the approval of the midnight society. I call this, does anyone else know “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” Yes! No. No idea what you’re talking about. Thank you. The elders have spoken. Woo.

So we’re gonna add some cold water. This is Nanopure, and that’s gonna make, there, no, that’s perfect. I’ll tell you when to add more, though. Add a little bit more. Add a little bit more. Don’t let Nicole’s vexation get to you. Listen, cooking is about feel and Emily has the feel. Keep going.

Yeah. Yeah. Just dump it. Look at, look at Nicole. Don’t even look at this. We’ll both look at Nicole. Okay. That’s good. That’s probably- She goes eee! She goes eek! Nicole, you make one of the strongest eek sounds I’ve ever heard. Okay. That’s good. Stop! Sorry. So the doughs come together.

We’re gonna add a little bit. Get, give me some ghee. Okay. Yeah, I’m gonna turn this out on to our nice clean countertop here. We’re gonna knead this by hand. Get some of those gluten structures workin’. No, there’s a lot of smells happening. What? The smells are good. These are just food smells.

I don’t know, the ghee smell, it was, that’s some hot ghee. Ooh, this is, that is pure. That is great. So we got Jivika Naturals Gir cow ghee. Ghee of course is clarified butter. Very common in Indian cooking. And it makes baked goods especially fantastic. So butter, right?

It has milk fat, salt, it has water. I feel like I need to apologize to everyone’s culture right now. Yeah. Yeah. I am on my period and everything makes me wanna barf. It’s not you, all of India. It’s Emily’s period. Ooh, this is so nice. We have stockpiled so much fancy olive oil

Via the Fancy Fast Food series. This is Laurel & Flame premium extra virgin olive oil. Ooh. Extra virgin, of course, coming from only the earliest parts, the finest press. Smells like grassy. Lemme smell it. That’s super. This is super grassy. Yeah. Definitely gonna have some of those bitter aromatic notes. Lemme try it.

I missed it. What happened? Do you want me to help you? Yeah, give it. Yeah, you’re not even getting it at all. Okay. I don’t wanna mess up your, stop moving! I’m not trying to, I just- You look like you’re in a pool. Ooh, that’s good. You want me to do you? Okay.

All right. Now we’re gonna poop. Down the hatch. Yeah! That’s gonna make us, this is like that, okay. That’s great. Don’t you do a lot of it. I’m not gonna do a lot of it. You don’t trust me? Half of, half of your thirties is just trying to poop good.

I have no issues. No, normally I don’t. Also, you know what I was thinking? What level do you do the bidet. All. Oh, I go- I go all the way. I crank it. Crank it. Yeah, I want a power wash. And something’s gonna get up there, but then it’s just fine. There.

You gagged before it entered. I know! Because I could just tell it was coming. I need another Red Bull. No more Red Bulls. You’re not allowed to have any more Red Bulls. Why? You drank, you drink too much and then you got aggressive! I am going to put this in a bowl.

We’re gonna, oh no, don’t enable her. Thank you, Ben. You know I’m very proud of myself. I haven’t brought up dating at all because I’m just working on myself now. No! I’m working on myself and being like more, you know, zen. Nicole was like you should go to a, to a yoga, yogurt?

I’m going to Pinkberry to discover myself. She said you should go to a yoga retreat. You would get kicked out within two hours. Well, that’s what I was gonna gonna say. I was like, she goes, you’ll find yourself. And I’m like, the problem is I have found myself.

But you know, maybe I could evolve into something else. So can I come to your yoga retreat? Let me in! Let me into your yoga retreat. Let me into your, okay. Los Angeles woman arrested at- what can only be described as Yoga riot! Could you imagine? No! Nee! Why are you scared?

Have I ever threatened to stab you with a kitchen utensil? Not yet. No. We got the chapati slightly rolled out. I’m gonna now roll it into strips. Roll it up. You wanna smell it? Smell it. I want you to put that down first. Why put it down?

Like why do you need it at the moment? Can I, can I do it like, have you been on the internet where the guys like spank all the food? Yeah, do it. Do it. Have you been doing it yet? No, I’ve never done that. There’s a, what’s his name? Donut daddy or something?

He’s all sensual. There’s a lot of daddies. Julia really likes him. Yeah. Okay. Really likes him. Really. Donut Daddy. Okay. Well, there’s a lot of ’em who do it. So can I, I’m gonna be like, well, you gotta do it like this where they- Yeah. They do this and then they go-

Yeah, they make a- Like that. They make a butt crack. Yeah. And then they shove their face in it. Woo! Sorry. Trevor got excited. I did it. I did it very respectfully, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you gotta, you know, gauge the pain tolerance and then go up from there.

And now you’re wet. That’s what happens. That’s what happens. So what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna gradually roll this up. The idea- Josh, you think there’s any way you could scoot over since I’m also in the show? I know. No, I’m just, here, Emily, you, no. Here. You keep doing that.

Roll this up. Try and make it as symmetrical as possible. Yeah. And then you’re gonna get it up there. And then I’m gonna wrap mine around yours. Do you sometimes have dreams or fantasize about being the only one standing here? No. Never. Do you? Yes. Is that good enough? Yeah, that’s pretty good.

What are we trying to achieve? So we’re rolling this out and then we’re gonna wrap more around it. Then we’re gonna flatten it and then roll it with a rolling pin. So yeah, that’s great. That’s great. That’s great. Why? Now, here. Now, now we add this to this

Because that’s gonna give it a layered effect. That’s where the signature flakiness of chapati is created is in these rolls. Did you already tell me what chapati was? Oh my God. Oh my God. That’s perfect. That’s perfect. And now we’re gonna do- This feels like, what’s the bubble tape? Yeah, the bubble tape.

Yeah. Okay, so you see how it’s creating like a coil in there? Yeah. And then we’re gonna roll it out and gradually this is gonna get thinner and thinner. And then this is going to act as our tortilla for the quesadilla. Very nice. Thank you. Hey, do you remember after I fell through

That wall on “Good Mythical Evening,” how I came in here crying and we did a bunch of shots? Not like a responsible amount of shots. We did a responsible amount of shots.. But I was crying and I was real sad. Emily was definitely crying and real sad,

And the only way that I knew how to help her was more alcohol. But we made a couple videos. Hi, I am licking my wounds with Josh over here, who always has tits out, but he doesn’t take down the walls with it. I’m very titty positive.

I think what Emily did was ultimately a good thing. Those walls needed to be taken down. The walls were a metaphor for the gender pay gap. Once again, standing in front of me. I’m trying to freaking, just trying to cook. I’m just trying to cook. I know that you’re trying to cook,

But I’m also trying to entertain the people. Yeah, entertain the people. That’s what you brought me here for. You didn’t bring me here to cook. No, you’re correct. You’re correct. Anyway, all I’m trying to say is that Josh is a very good friend. You don’t really respond to texts. Ever.

Okay, so you gotta put that on there? Lubed it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna hear the sizzle, eh! Okay. There we go. Ooh! We’re gonna make sure we got the edges cooked. We’re gonna make sure we get the edges cooked. That’s what- Whoop. Woo- It’s nice. The oil is burning me.

I’m gonna, yeah. Switch. Switch sides. All right. Lube it up with some more Olive oil. Again, we got a lot of ghee in there, but we’re also getting olive oil on that is burning me. You know, I used to be on this side. What? I used to be on this side sometimes. Really?

I’m sorry. Do you, do you wanna be back on that side? I’d like to be on any side besides behind you. You can be on, I’m sorry! I just didn’t, I don’t. Okay, and now we’re gonna flip it. Hot boy fingers getting weak, huh? Let’s go. Okay. In your old age.

We got some weird fringes. No, I still have hot boy fingers. You like that! You like that. No, no, no. That’s enough. They know you have hot boy fingers. So this chapati’s looking pretty nice, right? It looks great. I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like ’cause again,

Don’t know what it is. Emily, I know this is gonna be incredibly difficult. I need your utmost concentration on this task because I actually need you to do things now. Okay, I’m gonna explain what you’re gonna do. So we’re making a sofrito right now,

Which is like a heavily spiced paste created by aromatics used a lot in, I associate it with Puerto Rican cooking, but also Spanish cooking. It’s in a lot of places. So you’re gonna do half an onion, peeled. You can throw it in here whole ’cause it’s just gonna blend up. One clove-

I can do a whole? Yeah, well, a half, whole half. Oh, okay. One clove of elephant garlic. This is big ass garlic. Whoa! It’s a little bit milder. Yeah, this is cool. Whoa. It’s one of my favorite products. You could not palm heel strike this. I bet, oh, I can, absolutely. Gimme that.

Boom. Whoa! Got ’em. Strong! Look, I already peeled the garlic for you. So we’re doing that. You have back problems, but man, your joints and stuff are doing great. Thank you. Body, spirit, broken. Yeah. Your cartilage is doing okay. Cilantro. You’re gonna chuck all that in there. Okay. You gonna core that tomato.

Chuck that in there. Each of these spices. What does that that mean? What? Core that tomato. Core the tomato? You’re just like, take this part out. What, what I would do is like cut. Oh, you cut the pit? We’re gonna cook all this down so that’s fine. Take that pit out? Yeah. Yeah.

So you’re just gonna put that in there. I love how I just ask the questions. Twist the tomato. Thus he does the thing. And then boom, boom, boom. Then I don’t do anything. Lemme hear you say wayo. Wayo. You’re gonna take the stem off of this here. Fresno pepper. Woo. Look at that!

You did it. And then now all you gotta do, I want you to do that, though. Cut that half there. We’re gonna put some Zanzibar peppercorns. We’ve got ras el hanout. One of my favorite spice blends coming outta Egypt. And what does it mean Nicole, in Arabic? Head of the spice shelf.

I thought it was top of the shelf. I did it. Wait, Google what ras el hanout actually means. Look at Emily. She’s going. So what I’m gonna do. Is that, do I, how much do I need to take off of it, though? How do you know when it’s peeled? Oh no, dang it.

Cut it the wrong way. I did? You cut an onion, like to be symmetrical. You cut it like root to stem. Head of the shelf or top of the shelf. I don’t like onions. Why? Okay. Oh yeah, you said they’re rude. I don’t get. So they are rude.

I need to cook. I need to cook. So we got Wagyu ribeye here. We got a raw Wagyu filet. Making out with somebody who eats onions. I would rather, like it’s a fate worse than death. I love it. Kimchi make outs are the best. No! No, Josh! I wanna taste all your experiences,

Including your Korean barbecue. Hummus. So we got a Wagyu ribeye. We got Wagyu filet. They go for the hummus. We have Wagyu skirt steak here. So what we’re going to do is we’re gonna pound all of these out until they’re sheets. We’re gonna rub the sofrito in there after it’s been cooked down.

We’re gonna roll it. We’re gonna tie it. We’re gonna make what I like to call meat spin or meat tornado. Also coffee. And then we’re gonna put that right into the cast iron. You drink coffee right before making out. What are you doing? What? What do you like, Emily?

I mean, I do a fried chicken make out. Fried chicken make out. Oh, those are good ones. You’re a little hot and greasy? Always good. How do I know when the skin is off? It just feels like it’s all skin. What do you mean the skin? Take one more layer off.

You’re so close. I’m so close. Just went and juiced in my mouth. We’ve butterflied this rib eye. Here. I gotta go over here real quick. And I’m putting the whole thing in there? Half. Whole half. You’re putting in a whole half. How much of the, of the elephant?

The whole one clove. A whole one clove. Oh, and we already did that. Nixta corn liqueur. This is one of my favorite products. We’re gonna do a little bit of flambe or something, or blazing. So it’s liqueur, it’s not liquor? It’s a liqueur. So it’s a sweet corn liquor.

You make an old fashioned with this and Abasolo Mexican whiskey. Hey, Tennesseans. Woo. We know what that is. Honestly, this is a fantastic product. Great SteelDrivers song as well. But it’s also great for beating your meat. That’s my dad’s band. Gotta get that will up there, you know?

They got a new album coming out. It already came out, actually. It’s a gospel album so it’s kind of like, uh, Jesus is in there a lot. But if you just kind of go, ah, over the Jesus part, the rest of it sounds good.

How can you have any pudding if you don’t beat your meat? What do I do with this? Just put it all in? Put it all in. Dump in all those spices, but only as much as you think we need, Emily. I need you to do some real cooking here, okay?

Is she doing good? I can’t see ’cause my back is turning ’cause I’m busy just pounding this meat. This is fantastic. This is exactly what I’m looking for. We just have a large, giant sheet of ribeye that we’re gonna wrap other steaks in. I’m gonna pound out this skirt.

Isn’t it fun that it’s basically Nicole is the one in the episode, but I’m actually, she’s telling me what to do. Did I do all of it? Do I do that stuff? Skirt steak’s got a lot of intramuscular cartilaginous tissue, so I’m trying to really beat that out.

The wrapping paper feels like a used condom now. What? Blend it! Oh. You want me to blend it? Did you put the spices in? Not yet. God. Do I blend it first? Put the spices in. How much? As much as you want! Ah! Use your intuition, Emily! I don’t have any!

Yes, you do. Look deep within yourself! So we pounded out the skirt. I’m gonna see if we can sort of like, we’re gonna roll all these meats up like a burrito. But I need that spice paste. Yeah. Ooh. So we got this. Trim off the edges here. Shoulda got this intuition.

Oh, just a little. Yeah. So here is our meat spin or meat tornado, whatever you wanna call it. We have the filet inside. We got the skirt on the outside. We have the ribeye. Now I’m just gonna unfurl this. This is for snacky. I love how you literally showed me how

To use the pepper grinder. And now all I need is that spice paste. I know how to do that. Of that delicious sofrito. She was like. And then we’re all good. I know how to do that part. I’m realizing that I have a lot of abandonment issues.

I’ve been going to therapy and I’m- Do you feel that with me when I don’t respond to your texts? Yes. Definitely. Definitely. Woo! Or when I put a joke in the writer’s slack and no one puts the smiley face underneath it. Yeah. Oof. That’s the worst. I think about that for days. Aww.

Annalise goes aww. Luckily I have, I do have very good friends. One of them is Jenna Purdy. We have sleepovers and we’re gonna paint pumpkins soon. That’s gonna be fun. We have sleep, but I sleep on the couch. It’s a leather couch though, so my skin sticks to it.

Not a huge fan of it. But if I put a blanket on the couch and then I go, and then I get another blanket, but you know what Jenna does? She gives me a silk pillowcase for the pillow so that my hair doesn’t get dry. Excuse me. I’m just trying my best.

I’m trying my best. And then I have a silk pillow. And the problem is I’m a drooler. Mythical Kitchen salt well. Now available at mythical.com. The good thing is you don’t even have to put salt in it. You can put anything in there. Not illegal substances,

But we’re putting fleur de sel in there. I think that I could work at the Ren Fair. Season. If this doesn’t work out, I’m probably gonna do Ren Fair stuff. What’s your, what’s your job at the Ren Fair? Oh, I’m definitely gonna be the lady in the dunking booth that insults everyone. Yeah.

So right now, here. When I order this from Taco Bell, like I said it’s my favorite thing. I always order other stuff and, ’cause I eat like two things and it’s always like at 2:00 a.m., you know, that’s kind of when you do it.

And then I always get two zero sugar Baja Blasts. So we got the sofrito. If you wanna- Layered in between. Keep yourself regular. A pounded out Wagyu ribeye. There’s a reason why they call it Baja Blast. Seasoned with fleur de sel. Layered in between a pounded out Wagyu skirt.

This is like the turducken of beef! It’s like the turducken! It’s the meat spin, baby. All right, so we’re gonna go ahead and wrap this up. We gotta make everything a little cinnamon roll, don’t we for this? Yeah! For this episode. – [Josh] This is literally the cinnamon roll.

Are we gonna pound it out like the way we did with the, what was it again? No, actually, that might be smart. No, what I was gonna do is tie this up. So can you, Emily. I wanna do that. You little rope bunny, get over here. So, oh God.

Okay, Emily, we got a smoking hot pan. We got our twine here. I’m gonna lay this down and you’re gonna help me tie it up. Okay? Should I, okay. So what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna start tying. I know how to tie! Okay. You, here.

Tie it then, here, put your finger there. How deep? That’s perfect. That’s perfect. We just want this to stay together. Put your finger there. I’m gonna come around. I feel like we’re wrapping presents. It’s gonna be a one. Okay, on three. I’m gonna pull, right? One, two. Three. There it is. Perfect. Perfect.

All right. We gotta do this four times. Then I’m gonna get, you see that screaming hot pan? Now this, this is some primo content here. Watch closely. Countdown. One, two, three. There it is. Almost got you. All right. Okay. Two more. Two more. Two more. I love this. Okay.

Hold on. Lemme get, lemme get set. Lemme get set. Lemme get set. And one. Okay, that’s fine. You left early. That’s fine. Okay. Okay. Premature. One more. One more. All we wanna do is. Premature eject manipulation. This makes me feel like I’m in “Titanic,” when she’s putting the corset on Rose.

This is exactly like that. You will marry what’s his face. One, two, go. There we go. Look at that. Jack. No, not Jack. Jack. Oh, Carl. What’s that actor’s name? Carl? I don’t know. It’s Billy Zane. I’ve never seen that movie. Billy Zane! Yes, Billy Zane. I’m just gonna snip.

There’s a movie called “The Phantom.” There we go. It’s apparently not great, but I liked it. Here we go. We’re trimming the twine. And now we’re gonna sear this off in a bunch of Wagyu fat. It is gonna splatter a whole lot so we do have to watch out.

And then we’re gonna roast it in the oven with a little bit of Bordier butter from Normandy. So that’s going. Boom. Shoot. They’re talking about something over there. I think something- Wagyu fat. We got Wagyu fat. It’s going in. It smells like my deadbeat grandpa’s trailer. That’s going in. It’s smokey and Emily,

We’re gonna put this in and runaway. And we run. Okay, that’s too hot. And that’s fine. That’s fine. It’s cooking in Wagyu fat. That pan got very hot. And that’s a lesson for everybody. Emily, unwrap all the butter. We’re gonna throw all the butter in there. All of it? All of it.

Oh man. Now this is my kinda show. All the butter. We wanna sort of cook this heavily in beef fat. Get a nice sear. We’re getting there. Then we’re gonna lay butter in there and then roast it off at 350 for about 20 minutes so we get mid rare.

Then carve it and crisp it up. But I think this is gonna seal all that flavor. God! One more, like this is a TikTok thing. This is laborious! This is a laborious show. Just dump the whole thing of butter in there. Oh, there’s hair on it. Sorry. That’s mine.

Here, put the hair in. No, the hair is fancy. Ew! No, the hair is- I’m sorry! From a French nun! There you go. Yeah. Oh no! That’s perfect. I’m sorry. So we got a butter puck in here now. I’m gonna skate this around on the butter puck. It came off.

Is it bad that there was a hair? Do we have to cut that out? No way, man. I love hair. They’re talking like they’re worried about it. Dylan. That was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Dylan. Boom. I haven’t asked you a question in quite some time. Hey Dylan- What’s your question?

What’s your favorite seafood? I’m a vegetarian. Taco Bell. The greatest scientific innovation they did was put mayonnaise in quesadillas. That sauce is so good. Creamy jalapeno sauce is so good so we’re gonna make our own. So what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna start with a couple egg yolks.

You are gonna make a lovely dipping sauce. Wait, am I supposed to put it in there? I’m gonna just grab another egg. I don’t have anything to scoop stuff with. I’m gonna just grab another egg. No one gave me any spoons. Do you just like expect me to do this with my hands?

Where’s the eggs? Oh, there’s stuff down here. Hey, Dylan. Leave Dylan alone. Why? He works hard. I know he works hard. He works hard. We’re just getting to know him. It’s not like I’m doing ha, doing anything wrong. Now the eggs are egg and we’re gonna wipe the raw egg on me.

Dylan, what’s your favorite season? Spring. I’m gonna slowly drizzle in oil. That’s the first thing, I was like, all right. Why? Why is it your favorite season? We’re creating an emulsification. Shush. I’m talking to Dylan. What? It gets more green. ‘Cause it gets more green. And we’re back where we started. Huh?

We’re getting faster. So I scooped all this out. Am I supposed to chop that up? Yeah, buddy! Yeah, buddy. What am I doing with that? That’s, it helps tighten the protein. Well then, why did I do this? Emulsification. Oh, I mash it? Mash it, man. I love this.

Do I do anything with this? Yeah. Oh yeah Emily, you’re doing good. I do it a lot? Hey, where’d that liqueur stuff go? Did we ever use it? Oh, it’s around. Now I’m gonna switch to macadamia nut oil! It’s fancy! All right, I’m done. What? Add a boba powder?

Emily, gotta add the peppers. Okay. I don’t, well, she told me not to. I’m adding the barley grass powder. Yeah? We have Erjingtiao peppers. Fly by Jing. Shout out to Jing, friend of the show. I met her once at a Thai restaurant. Hey! Very nice. I’m just gonna add-

You don’t know me, Jing. Whole dried peppers. But I think you’d like me. Emulsify into the mayonnaise. Don’t you knock stuff over. Just trying my best. You’re doing this in front of Jing! The fancy guy. I’m so sorry, Jing. I’m so sorry to God. Okay, we’re gonna add some peppers in there.

We’re adding some dried peppers. We’re gonna add some fresh peppers. We’re gonna add some pickled peppers. So we got that. We got Calabrese Bomba peppers. These are going right in there. Cute. Gonna take that out. Boom. Blend in- This much? Whole pepper pulp in there. Bango. What? Yeah, that’s great.

So savory’s really fun. You try it? Boom, whole Fresno chile. That’s going in there. Oh yeah, I do like this. It smells like pizza. Pickled calabrian. Boom. Going in there. All right. A little bit of fresh cracked peppy pep. Boom! Creamy jalapeno sauce, eat your heart out.

We got a sack of pickled garlic that I’m really excited about. And I’m gonna add it to this. It smells familiar, but I don’t know from what. I am leaking pickled garlic juice everywhere. We’ll add some of the juice. No? Add some of the juice.

I just want to get one, like a bear fishing for salmon. I’m “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen,” like Ewan McGregor. Ooh! I love it! Okay, we’re gonna blend all these chilies. There we go. There we go. Blender up. Blender up. That’s looking good. You can’t scramble the mayonnaise, though.

I don’t have anything to do. Oh, that’s pretty primo, dude. Try that. Whoa! Oh, it’s the pickled garlic. Wait, I didn’t even add this yet. Oh, right. Oh golly, that is good. It’s really good. God damn. What is this? I don’t know. Tribute peppers? Trivia peppers? Yum! Ah! Ah! Oh no!

Ew. Don’t do that. Do it in the bucket. I’m sorry. So Emily, we got this steak right here. I’m gonna carve it up. Yep. 81% chance it’s cooked. Let’s see. Look at her. Ooh! Hold on. Hold on. Oh, you wanna slice? I provide. Yes, I do. I want some. Here, here.

Just take like, take, here, just take that and house it. I need this. I need this. Daddy needs this. I just wanna try a thin slice. I’m gonna cut it thicker for the quesadilla. Oh my God. Oh, get out town, dude. I like life. Get, oh, isn’t it?

This is just life affirming, right? Wow. That’s good butter. I can’t see anything. I’m going in blind, Mick. All right, give it to me. I’m gonna do a little thing with the, with, gimme. Butter. Gimme. I’m blind now. How blind are you, by the way? Chapati. We have our chapati.

Oh, that ain’t nothin’. You ain’t nothin’! We have our chapati. We’re gonna get this lubed up, but then check this out. We’re gonna flip it butter side down. We’re gonna add a whole layer of cheese. Made it worse. Boom. Big layer of cheese right there.

Am I more attractive or less attractive without glasses? I think you’re attractive no matter what. Aw, stop. Here you go. No, keep going. Okay. Aw, man. Okay. Yeah. Oh, cheese. Give me your face. Lot of steak. Face! I’m trying. Okay. Oh God, I still can’t see anything. Okay, that’s good.

Sorry, I made it worse. That’s, oh. Oh, look at this. The sizzling butter. Look at this chunk. This steak. Oh, baby. I’m gonna do this chunk. Baby girl, what’s your name? Steak quesadilla. That’s what it is. It tore a little bit. That’s fine. That’s fine. Shh. Shh. Oh, God. Talk to me.

Oh, talk to me, goose. Talk to me. We’re gonna bring you home, baby. Should we even make this anymore or just eat the beef in them? I’m gonna go. No, I think this is gonna be too beautiful to eat. We don’t deserve this. Sometimes I think about it. I could just live here.

Emily, by God, we’ve done it. Oh, Joshua. We have our fancy Taco Bell steak quesadilla with our sofrito infused Wagyu filet skirt and ribeye meat spin. We have our hojicha green tea chapati brushed down with a ton of ghee and expensive olive oil. We have queso Oaxaca, queso Chihuahua,

And then our six chile creamy jalapeno and other chile sauce. Oh, also a yuzu guacamole. I’m so excited. You ready to dig in? But first. No! We gotta eat the old one. We like it. It’s still good. We do like it. That’s true. Here. My mouth is salivating so much.

Yeah, it’s been, it’s a little wet. Hello, little fella. Here it is. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. Aww, go, it’s a baby. Okay. Okay. I don’t want that. There it is. Cheers. It just looks like, okay. Ew! I’m gonna do it, though. I’m gonna do it. Okay. Still a delight. Yeah.

This one’s gonna have a little more crispy crunchy. Okay. A little more flavor. I still want the rest of this. Yeah. We’re saving all these boys. Don’t throw it away. I’m so hungry. I’m gonna crack an egg on them tomorrow. Oh my gosh. Grab this down.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. Oh my God. Oh, the pockets of grease, and butter, and mayonnaise in here. Josh, this is the most excited I’ve ever been to eat something. I’m going in. Cheers. Friendship. Oh. Okay. Oh! Crispy! You get the crispy, you get the cheese.

Yeah, the crispy’s real nice. There’s a hefty wheat flavor coming from this. It is obviously soaked in oil. The thing for me that puts this over the top, it’s the aromatics that you put in the sofrito. Emily, you made that! You know what? And you made this good. Thanks!

You know what I really like? Oh God, dang it. This is so good. That matcha stuff. Yeah. You were right. It’s, I can taste it and it’s really good. It’s balancing, everything’s has that like- Yeah. It almost tastes healthy but this is soaked in grease. Healthy. This is one of my favorite things

We’ve ever made in the show. I am, yeah. I was really obsessed with the meatball sub that we made. Oh. I think about it often. But this, I gotta tell you, it’s my new favorite. It’s my new favorite. Do confetti. Do confetti everywhere that’s fake. Also, using ghee.

Oh, it’s so greasy, my God. I’m gonna, I’m not sure. I gonna poop my pants off after too. I don’t care. Do you eat on the toilet ever? I once spilled a whole bowl of Special K Red Berries right in my caboose. Just picking strawberries out

With tweezers before I had to go to school. Can I tell you, I’ve definitely like, you know, I’m in a rush and stuff, so then I’ll eat on the toilet sometimes. Usually it’s like, you know, I don’t need to talk about what it was. But here’s the fun thing.

On Monday, I fell asleep on the toilet. I was so tired, you guys. We’re very busy right now. And you know how I woke up? It’s ’cause I dropped my phone on the ground and I went ugh! I was in the middle of playing Candy Crush as per use. And then I just,

There’s something very soothing about Candy Crush. You fall right to sleep and right to sleep. And I fell asleep and dropped my phone, then I was like, okay, we gotta get it together, Fleming. So then I took a nap. That’s the thing. I shouldn’t have said that.

I work very hard, but I did take a nap midday. Sometimes I take a nap here. But I didn’t fall asleep on the toilet here. I fell asleep on the toilet at home. $189.47! Oh yeah. How much is this? $189.47! I did it, Annalise, I remembered.

Oh, but what cost can you pay for friendship? You know what I mean? That’s so true. The food is merely a metaphor for the intertwiningness of our lives. You know what’s really fun? Huh? Is you and I have a friendship, but then we have a friendship with them. Dylan? Yeah.

Dylan, you’re on the S list, buddy. You gotta get back. Dylan, you ever eaten anything on the toilet? No. Not yet. That’s why we can’t be friends. Thank you so much for stopping by “Mythical Kitchen.” We got new episodes out every week. Make sure you’re subscribed to our podcast

A Hotdog is a Sandwich. Socials, all that. You do this. Dude, I need to take- I’m gonna do something weird. Did you eat off of that? I need to bathe in sparkling water right now. I need the bubbles to cleanse me and I can’t explain it other than that. Look at the grease.

Look at it! Go to war with bland cooking and start seasoning your damned food with a Mythical Kitchen salt well. Available now at mythical.com.