I screwed up my pizza after it got stuck on pizza paddle. How much jail time do I deserve?
I screwed up my pizza after it got stuck on pizza paddle. How much jail time do I deserve?
by MikeTony713
37 Comments
canthandlethebooth
About 2-3 yrs for this. But with the munchies. If the dough is cooked all the way thru, we in there.
HellishChildren
We’ll need a sample to test first.
TheMostBacon
I would still destroy that pizza
surface_ripened
Friend, it’s a tragedy when the pie sticks to the peel and this happens, but you did the right and only thing possible, roll with it, cook it through and enjoy your (tasty) eldrich pizza horror like you meant to cook it that way. The sweet relief of knowing you didn’t have to totally bin dinner and actually while it may not be ‘pizza’ anymore it is in fact still quite edible…. That’s gold. I think the only true crime is giving up on what’s to be a demented calzone and throwing it all away, for that I would charge you. But for this? Naw, you’re good. And if it happens again to you or in your presence you now know you can salvage the situation without too much stress. Bravo!
miomidas
The pizza looks like you ripped someones gut out after they ate a pizza
fiendzone
I’ve seen worse at Auntie Anne’s.
koruption707
Just_Eye2956
Been there, done that. No jail. Just keep practicing.
toastbot
This is “Involuntary Pizza-slaughter” at best, you’ll probably get off with probation.
SapphireSurge
Seems like a misdemeanor to me. If it’s your first offense, we’ll let it slide, but if this becomes a pattern the verdict might change
crusty54
That’s a paddlin’.
tanglesisfishing
You need to start with smaller pizzas or get a pan….
cmwamem
In the stomach, shape doesn’t matter.
Avivabitches
Looks better than most pizzas I see posted in here 😂
ebaer2
Cronenberg would like a word with you about IP infringement.
ImportantComb9997
It could happen to any of us that forget to cornmeal the pizza peel. Here’s a citation for you to eat 4 slices of costco pizza including the crust with non alcoholic beer.
Alchemista_98
Gonna need you to drop off the evidence in 30 minutes or less.
Icy-Conflict6671
Kinda looks like a pizza pretzel my g
DakDirty
Off with a warning, no time.
Acedia1979
That looks like a tumor :/
SkinnyFatKidd
How my first pizza turned out. It was still so delicious!
Anaxis-Aurelius
Did you try to save it?
pgw4life
I feel like it’s more of a crime to call it a paddle and not a peel
Maximum_Swordfish_51
It’s now a “Twisted Pizza Bread,” congrats!
MAdfin
Looks tasty
dabombnl
Hot tip: roll it up and pretend you meant to make a calzone the whole time. No court of law will convict for a calzone.
Cynakopacki
That’s a pizza accident, not a pizza crime. Pizza accidents, like this one, still taste yummy.
MtFuzzmore
Happens. I had one get stuck to the paddle last night that I folded over and made into a calzone.
SkatingOnThinIce
It’s an honest mistake, let the boys be boys!
epoc657
It was an accident, and under the eyes of the law, pizzaslaughter is only such that you unintentionally slaughtered a pizza while in the process of committing another crime. If you weren’t committing a crime, an accidental death is not a crime per say
ErstwhileAdranos
It’s a pizza teratoma!
zzunino
Still looks fluffy and delicious
TheRealSpielbergo
Just rebrand it as pizza barf! Will sell like hot cakes 👍
ELONgatedMUSKox
r/MesenteryCrimes
HowelPendragon
We’ve all been there. Points for your attempt to save it. And it sounds it was a moderately successful attempt!
dioxin187
Second degree doughslaughter carries a lenient sentence, as it was not intentional.
37 Comments
About 2-3 yrs for this. But with the munchies. If the dough is cooked all the way thru, we in there.
We’ll need a sample to test first.
I would still destroy that pizza
Friend, it’s a tragedy when the pie sticks to the peel and this happens, but you did the right and only thing possible, roll with it, cook it through and enjoy your (tasty) eldrich pizza horror like you meant to cook it that way. The sweet relief of knowing you didn’t have to totally bin dinner and actually while it may not be ‘pizza’ anymore it is in fact still quite edible…. That’s gold. I think the only true crime is giving up on what’s to be a demented calzone and throwing it all away, for that I would charge you. But for this? Naw, you’re good. And if it happens again to you or in your presence you now know you can salvage the situation without too much stress. Bravo!
The pizza looks like you ripped someones gut out after they ate a pizza
I’ve seen worse at Auntie Anne’s.
Been there, done that. No jail. Just keep practicing.
This is “Involuntary Pizza-slaughter” at best, you’ll probably get off with probation.
Seems like a misdemeanor to me. If it’s your first offense, we’ll let it slide, but if this becomes a pattern the verdict might change
That’s a paddlin’.
You need to start with smaller pizzas or get a pan….
In the stomach, shape doesn’t matter.
Looks better than most pizzas I see posted in here 😂
Cronenberg would like a word with you about IP infringement.
It could happen to any of us that forget to cornmeal the pizza peel. Here’s a citation for you to eat 4 slices of costco pizza including the crust with non alcoholic beer.
Gonna need you to drop off the evidence in 30 minutes or less.
Kinda looks like a pizza pretzel my g
Off with a warning, no time.
That looks like a tumor :/
How my first pizza turned out. It was still so delicious!
Did you try to save it?
I feel like it’s more of a crime to call it a paddle and not a peel
It’s now a “Twisted Pizza Bread,” congrats!
Looks tasty
Hot tip: roll it up and pretend you meant to make a calzone the whole time. No court of law will convict for a calzone.
That’s a pizza accident, not a pizza crime. Pizza accidents, like this one, still taste yummy.
Happens. I had one get stuck to the paddle last night that I folded over and made into a calzone.
It’s an honest mistake, let the boys be boys!
It was an accident, and under the eyes of the law, pizzaslaughter is only such that you unintentionally slaughtered a pizza while in the process of committing another crime. If you weren’t committing a crime, an accidental death is not a crime per say
It’s a pizza teratoma!
Still looks fluffy and delicious
Just rebrand it as pizza barf! Will sell like hot cakes 👍
r/MesenteryCrimes
We’ve all been there. Points for your attempt to save it. And it sounds it was a moderately successful attempt!
Second degree doughslaughter carries a lenient sentence, as it was not intentional.
It looks like a Horta.
https://preview.redd.it/zqs4xsns0xgd1.jpeg?width=1012&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d348105d4a793cd5ac2fbcf6ddd372d3b1525d17