So we’re walking up to the door of my friends (pretty fancy) house and he’s standing there ready to greet his old friend. I just present the shitcuterie tray with the warmest of seasons greetings. His look was warm and inviting, and then his smile just kinda froze as his eyes met the plate, like he was glitching lmao. He just looks back up, smile still plastered, and goes, ‘should we set it in the counter?’ I start laughing and tell him to hang tight while I grab the real thing. We laughed and he told me he wasn’t sure wtf was happening, maybe we were doing some Hawaiian vibe with the spam lmao. Good shit.
The actual board has a Satori romano, fontina, and 2 types of their cheddar offerings, belgioso burrata, and a simple sargento colby. Salted pecans and smokehouse almonds. I made a bacon cheddar ranch dip using whipped cream cheese, sour cream, satori cheddar, a good bacon, chives, scratch ranch seasonings (no pre bought seasoning). Meats I used some kretchmar salami and pepperoni, and some fancy prosciutto co I can’t spell nor pronounce. Garnished with blueberries, strawberries, spinach, and arugula. I roasted fresh garlic and mashed it w/ some evo, a nice parm reggiano, and spread it on a baguette and then toasted, second baguette is plain/toasted.
So yea..No ramp. No olive jacuzzi. I know these things disappoint you and this might not sell for 700, but happy to have the opportunity to take a stab at this and thankful to have a cool sub to share this with. Lots of love from our home to yours. Happy holidays. ❤️🤙🏻
by SuperStokedUp
12 Comments
Looks great!
*the cheese stands alone! the cheese stands alone! Hi ho the dairyo, the cheese stands alone!* –burrata
But seriously, this is gorgeous 🤌🤌
Are there tiny forks to tear up the burrata or does everyone get their own ~~fork~~ ball? Idk how fancy shark plates work
Is that ambrosia? I haven’t had that demonic concoction in a long time lol
Now that is a quality charcuterie board.
Happened across your previous post this morning; thrilled to see the actual board! Looks great, Chef🫡
That’s so cute !
I’m disappointed at the lack of spam but I suppose this will do. Nah, it looks great though! I’d definitely spend a day eating the whole thing and then regret it when I’m reminded I’m lactose intolerant.
As an Australian, would you mind sharing your ranch recipe? Totally fine if it’s a secret. I’ve just never had it. It didn’t occur to me to try it when I was in the US either time and here we only get the dressing in the bottle and I’m sure it’s rubbish. It looks watery AF and I’m sceptical of it.
Thanks, Chef!
Grazing platter.
This is beautiful and thank you for the update! I definitely thought about you today and wondered about the reaction to the first tray.
Also, I’m going to be making a version of this dip for our New Year’s Day party. Thank you for the idea!
Hahaha the first one, though. Great job on both
I love a good charcuterie board, but it needs more *RAMP*