In an interview with Gothamist blog Chicagoist, John Hodgman said Jeppson’s Malört “tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak.”
There are several other amusing quotes in the article. You gotta love Chicaahgo!
The snow cone idea could be a hit at summer fairs!
TravelerMSY
It’s quite vile. My local bar is decorated with Polaroids of people taking their first shot of it, with appropriate captions.
Few-Increase6958
I sip malort + seltzer on ice. Floral and bitter. Pretty refreshing tbh
DingusMacLeod
They may be savages, but they will probably tip!
FamousFangs
Malort tastes like a brakestand.
The fireball isn’t much better.
RealityCheck3141
Stolen from facebook after being stolen from reddit. Saw this on r/Serverlife a few days ago.
angrysockpuppetnoise
The YouTuber HowToDrink would love this
DemonSlyr007
I really don’t know why people have a hard time describing the flavor of Malort. Its very easy for anyone with access to a grocery store to know exactly what it tastes like without ever drinking it. Simply buy a Grapefruit, and take gigantic bite. That’s it. Malort is grapefruit based and tastes like the skin casing on grapefruit, not the super sweet fruit inside.
I personally really like the taste. It grew on me when a friend and I used to do shots of it all the time before big fundraiser events and finals in college. Its grown on me even more over the years because of that fondness.
Bonus perk of actually liking malort: no one believes you, so they buy you shots of the stuff all the time. Usually multiple because “that first one was just a fluke, they didn’t give you the real stuff, I’ll do a shot with you this time!” If you can get over yourself with Malort, it is a the perfect way to drink for free at a lot of fun bars.
Hot take, I think the fireball Manhattan would be the worse of the 2 drinks. Sweet on sweet, vile, at least the malort is interesting, not in a good way, but it would be interesting to see what the vermouth does interacting with the malort. I feel like Greg at how to drink did this one.
SydneyErinMeow
People visiting Chicago be like
shamashedit
I legit drink Marlort Negronis. Just kick the gin for Malort. It works well, honestly. I hold a Graduate Degree, but did my degenerate time.
Nicktrod
Do you hate yourself? Maybe Malort is the drink for you!
I don’t know why but I really don’t mind malort at all. It’s herbal and astringent but I find it fairly innocuous. I think Jäger is way way worse.
Am degenerate, will admit.
Overall_Stranger6568
Malort. The taste that never quits. Even when you want it to.
T3hSav
malort martini guy might be on to something. fireball Manhattan guy needs the firing squad.
teetfortit
Pretty sure this is AI
hawg_farmer
Ugh, the smell of Malort reminds me of emptying all the bar trash at 3am. Smoking was still allowed indoors, blech.
missginger4242
This needs to go to Greg @How to Drink…
death_to_my_liver
Fun fact: Malört bottles have the same thread as old super soakers. Your welcome
jistresdidit
Malört’s taste starts off as grapefruit and honey, but with an aftertaste of gasoline, bug spray, and ear wax
pootin54
I went to a bar at the Atlanta airport before a flight, ordered an old fashioned and said “I am not picky on the whiskey”
Mother fuckers made it with fireball. Charged me $17
gfunkdave
I am from Chicago and never heard of Malort until about 2013 when the hipsters discovered it. Before then it was just a dusty bottle that old timer Eastern Europeans ordered in dive bars.
32 Comments
In the restaurant life these are our people. Just get it they’ll probably tip spectacularly.
I hate degens from up north
No one on earth other than a degenerate line cook would order a Malort martini.
The one who ordered the malort is the dd
lmao so like is the malort the vodka or the vermouth? wait, actually, I don’t want to know.
I wanted a bottle Malort for a white elephant gift last year. I went to the liquor store and asked the clerk if they had it. Her response:
Yes, but why!?!
“Malort… for those nights when you wanna fight your dad”
Ma what? I guess I’m not degenerate enough to know what it is, so I [looked it up](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeppson%2527s_Mal%C3%B6rt).
In an interview with Gothamist blog Chicagoist, John Hodgman said Jeppson’s Malört “tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak.”
There are several other amusing quotes in the article. You gotta love Chicaahgo!
The snow cone idea could be a hit at summer fairs!
It’s quite vile. My local bar is decorated with Polaroids of people taking their first shot of it, with appropriate captions.
I sip malort + seltzer on ice. Floral and bitter. Pretty refreshing tbh
They may be savages, but they will probably tip!
Malort tastes like a brakestand.
The fireball isn’t much better.
Stolen from facebook after being stolen from reddit. Saw this on r/Serverlife a few days ago.
The YouTuber HowToDrink would love this
I really don’t know why people have a hard time describing the flavor of Malort. Its very easy for anyone with access to a grocery store to know exactly what it tastes like without ever drinking it. Simply buy a Grapefruit, and take gigantic bite. That’s it. Malort is grapefruit based and tastes like the skin casing on grapefruit, not the super sweet fruit inside.
I personally really like the taste. It grew on me when a friend and I used to do shots of it all the time before big fundraiser events and finals in college. Its grown on me even more over the years because of that fondness.
Bonus perk of actually liking malort: no one believes you, so they buy you shots of the stuff all the time. Usually multiple because “that first one was just a fluke, they didn’t give you the real stuff, I’ll do a shot with you this time!” If you can get over yourself with Malort, it is a the perfect way to drink for free at a lot of fun bars.
Malort! Tonight’s the night you fight your dad.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7s16ewP1RU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7s16ewP1RU)
Hot take, I think the fireball Manhattan would be the worse of the 2 drinks. Sweet on sweet, vile, at least the malort is interesting, not in a good way, but it would be interesting to see what the vermouth does interacting with the malort. I feel like Greg at how to drink did this one.
People visiting Chicago be like
I legit drink Marlort Negronis. Just kick the gin for Malort. It works well, honestly. I hold a Graduate Degree, but did my degenerate time.
Do you hate yourself? Maybe Malort is the drink for you!
Malort: tonights the night you fight your dad
There is a [Cicada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada) version of Malort. Might improve the stale cigarette and vomit nuances of the Malort.
I don’t know why but I really don’t mind malort at all. It’s herbal and astringent but I find it fairly innocuous. I think Jäger is way way worse.
Am degenerate, will admit.
Malort. The taste that never quits. Even when you want it to.
malort martini guy might be on to something. fireball Manhattan guy needs the firing squad.
Pretty sure this is AI
Ugh, the smell of Malort reminds me of emptying all the bar trash at 3am. Smoking was still allowed indoors, blech.
This needs to go to Greg @How to Drink…
Fun fact: Malört bottles have the same thread as old super soakers. Your welcome
Malört’s taste starts off as grapefruit and honey, but with an aftertaste of gasoline, bug spray, and ear wax
I went to a bar at the Atlanta airport before a flight, ordered an old fashioned and said “I am not picky on the whiskey”
Mother fuckers made it with fireball. Charged me $17
I am from Chicago and never heard of Malort until about 2013 when the hipsters discovered it. Before then it was just a dusty bottle that old timer Eastern Europeans ordered in dive bars.
There’s a really good book on it, its history, and renaissance, if you’re interested.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/208704457