Microwave doesn't have any settings for steak by the pound, I figure I can just use the chicken setting?

by Zentrosis

50 Comments

  1. Are you heating up the Monster? Please don’t microwave that beef.

  2. Slurpees_and_Stuff

    Woah woah woah woah woah. Before that puppy goes in the microwave you’re gonna need to wrap it in aluminum foil brutha. Let’s cook smart here.

  3. Microballer

    Wrap them in two layers of tin foil for the crust and then microwave on high for 16 minutes.

  4. I’d usually do 4-5 hours in the microwave for steaks this size, just to make sure all the fat evaporates

  5. ObservantWon

    2 min for mid rare, 2:45 for medium, 3:30 for medium well, 4:30+ for well

  6. Salvisurfer

    How much were these a pound/kilo where you live?

  7. wumbYOLOgies

    No no no never microwave.

    Wrap it in tinfoil then put it in the dishwasher…sous vide if you will

  8. GhostofBastiat1

    After a few minutes in the microwave nothing goes better on a nice steak than a few good squirts of ketchup.

  9. DonaldTPablonious

    Marinate them in the monster for 3 days and then microwave on 30% power for 2 days

  10. Micethatroar

    About 2 hours.

    Make sure to wrap them in tinfoil first. That keeps them juicy

  11. 519EOG_1979

    Use the popcorn setting sheesh what is this amateur hour?

  12. GA_Bookworm_VA

    30 minutes. Then they’ll be perfectly ready for the trashcan like originally intended. You’re welcome

  13. eddybear24

    You got to wrap them in tin foil first. Two or three layers.

  14. Rylando237

    Wrap them in tinfoil, stick a meat thermometer in each, then set them in the microwave with a whole raw egg. The egg will act as a sort of timer. Once the egg expl… once the timer goes off, take the steaks out, remove the tin foil, and throw away the steak. After that is done, drive to the nearest police station and turn yourself in

  15. Put them in a bowl of ketchup and use your microwave’s Sous Vide setting for 2 hours. Pat dry and microwave on high for 5 minutes for the sear.

  16. almostfamoustoo

    Do not cook steaks in the microwave!
    Sear them in a frying pan for one to two minutes on each side and then into a 425° oven for 6 to 8 minutes

  17. When I’m nuking a 3 bagger I just use the popcorn setting. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.

  18. cjbevins99

    Wrap them in tin foil and toss them under the hood of your car. Drive to the closest park or beach. Idle for about 15 more minutes and presto. A nice hot park dinner. Bonus for sides if you can pack them tight enough.

  19. Helpful-Isopod-6536

    Microwave? You’re a steak hating monster.

  20. goonatic1

    Insert like thirty whole cloves in each steak first for max flavor, then several sprigs of Rosemary too, then wrap in foil and you wanna do 20 mins per pound of meat. 👍👍👍

  21. blackcompy

    Honestly, I would just boil them in heavily salted water until you can throw one at the ceiling and it sticks. It’s the way my Nonna taught me

  22. IShouldHaveGonePro

    Step 1 – Marinate the steaks in a combination of Monster energy drink and pickle juice for roughly 4 hours.

    Step 2 – Cut the crust off 12 poptarts ensuring you do not get the filling. Smash the crusts into fine powder and roll the steaks in them before placing in the microwave. This will ensure optimal crusting.

    Step 3 – Preheat the microwave by turning it on for 30 seconds before you cook. We don’t want you to place this masterpiece in a cold microwave.

    Step 4 – Attach large metal fish hooks to the inside of the microwave. Attach each steak to a metal hook, ensuring none are touching.

    Step 5 – Underneath the steaks, place an aluminum foil make-shift bowl. This will be used to catch any marinade that may drip off in the hanging process.

    Step 6 – Set the microwave to defrost and cook for 1 hour per 3/8 of a pound of meat.

    Good luck my friend and enjoy!

  23. RebekkaKat1990

    10 mins on one side, 5 minutes flipped over. Half the time if you want them rare and double the time if you want well done. Then don’t forget the ketchup

  24. blueniko5

    Microwave??? Just vacuum seal these and throw them into the dishwasher for a few hours. Then sear them using a match

  25. Teufelhunde5953

    Microwave and steak don’t belong in the same country…….

  26. Bizarro_Murphy

    Lol. Reminds me of a story from real life.

    My first job out of college was supervisor of a large, urban, safetynet hospital kitchen and cafeteria. One day, we were all on break up in the cafeteria where we always sat, right by the row of microwaves we provided for people to heat up their lunch. Some dude walks in and asks for some paper towels. We told him we only had napkins in the cafeteria. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed a fist full of paper towels. He stacked 5 or 5 together, then folded them in half. Next, he reached in his backpack and pulled out a plastic grocery bag, unfurled it, pulled out the biggest bone in porkchop I’ve ever seen, placed it on the papertowels, turned the microwave onto high, set it for 8min, started it, then walked away.

  27. PhilosophyUpper866

    If you are microwaving steak to actually cook them you shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen period!

  28. CharmCC86

    I see my calendar is incorrect and today’s date is actually April 1. My mistake really

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