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It can be tricky to find a perfectly equitable way to share the chores and cary the load in a relationship.
And it doesn’t feel great when those arguments become, like, legalistic.
Check out the details and pick a side.
My partner (31m) and I (26m) have run into a disagreement about who should do the dishes after I cook dinner for both of us.
You could just read that and get the general idea, but there is some more color to the story.
For some context, we’ve been living together for almost 3 years now.
I like to cook and I make us dinner from scratch once or twice a week and sometimes breakfast on the weekends.
In my opinion, it’s fair that he should clean up after I cook.
Doing dishes takes a lot less time/skill than cooking a meal from scratch.
I also do most of the grocery shopping.
There’s a difference between providing and working.
My partner disagrees because he tends to pay for food more often when we go out to eat or get takeout.
For context, we both work full time, but he makes quite a bit more money.
His job also has some nice perks like a nice dining hall, which he’ll bring me food from a few times a week.
In his opinion, buying food out/bringing me food from work means that he shouldn’t have to wash the dishes when I cook for us.
I think this isn’t fair because doing all the shopping, meal planning and cooking takes a lot more effort than putting some extra food in a to-go container.
Is it all off balance?
I also do more of other household chores like doing laundry, taking out the trash, etc.
I’m fine with this because he does pay more of the bills and my work schedule is a bit more flexible.
Doing all the dishes after I cook a whole *** meal just seems a bit too far. Am I wrong?
Let’s see what the comments say:
Just keep the other end of the process in mind, yeah?
Pick your battles.
I know time is money, but…not literally.
Everybody do your share.
It’s as simple as that.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.