No means no – chefs what’s your take on these types?

by cheezweiner

43 Comments

  1. 0Sweet_Shark0

    I understand no excessive substitutions, or the chef saying “we do not allow substitutions on this dish” but I think as a blanket rule it just seems unfriendly to the customer

  2. VikingPower81

    >we do not have the qualifications to prove you with the service you require

    So they just reheat food in microwave? What the fuck is this.

    **Tracked them down, this is the shit they serve**
    [https://ibb.co/d4GmbB0W](https://ibb.co/d4GmbB0W)

  3. Minervas-Madness

    The allergy one, I get it. We can make the attempt sometimes but a lot of kitchens and workflows are poorly designed to cut specific allergens out of a single dish. Especially when it comes to gluten free stuff; I work in a bakery/cafe and it’s so easy for me to contaminate other surfaces with flour without noticing. (I make the effort not to, but nobody’s perfect.)

    We just had a couple of customers order to-go lunches who had garlic and pepper allergies. We had to give them PB&J sandwiches as our typical lunches include deli meats seasoned with those things. There comes a point where people with allergies need to make their own accommodations.

    The second part is a little odd. I can get taking pride in the food you cook, but calling me entitled because I like my salad without green peppers goes too far. Why are you in the cooking business if you hate your customers so much?

  4. Street_Roof_7915

    Well. I am happy to spend my money elsewhere.

  5. SockSock81219

    Oof. I’d say this place is cooked, if even the owner and head chef are this burned out.

    It’s one thing to say in the menu something like “Allergy Warning: Our kitchen regularly handles (common allergens x y z) and we cannot guarantee zero cross-contamination” or whatever the lawyers want to cook up. It can also say “The Kitchen respectfully declines modifications at this time.”

    But to come out with a customer-facing manifesto about entitled people and telling people to go pound sand if they want dressing on the side? That’s pretty damn hostile!

  6. Turd_Wrangler_Guy

    The first part was great.

    The second part is pretentious, arrogant and reeks of a chef who thinks too highly of themselves.

  7. texturedboi

    it definitely comes off like a passive aggressive dickass titnugget

  8. Just_call_me_Neon

    I’ve seen places that have a note saying ‘no modifications or substitutions’, but it’s usually on certain items, not the whole menu. Also, that’s a dick way to put it.

  9. MrTralfaz

    I worked in a kitchen with a girl who was allergic to wheat. Her second day on the job she went into anaphylactic shock from inhaling flour. That said, I used to know someone who said not liking something was your body’s way of telling you you’re allergic to it.

  10. Bet you these people serve slop that even a roach infested diner would be embarrassed to put out.

    I get it if you’ve got a set tasting menu you might say “this course doesn’t work well if we substitute an ingredient so we suggest you just skip this course”.
    But if you’re making me steak and eggs I think you should be able to make them over medium instead of over easy.

  11. Not allowing alterations or being able to safely serve specific allergies is totally fine, and normal. The way they said it isn’t great.

  12. NahikuHana

    Yes to the allergy alert, no to the other part. Train your staff to politely say no I cannot substitute or pick the onions out of the soup, no I won’t make a fresh batch without garlic powder, dressing on the side is ok tho.

  13. FinkBass420

    Lmao. How to guarantee I don’t set foot in your establishment 101.

  14. raspberryharbour

    There’s an easy way to say “no substitutions”. It’s “no substitutions”. Not a weird fucking passive aggressive outburst

  15. Careless_Law_9325

    Asking people to accept your hospitality as is is the opposite of hospitality. It doesn’t take much to leave out an ingredient or do a quick substitution if possible. Sounds like the chefs are entitled.

  16. MysteriousMine9450

    Hard number 3.
    Places that don’t put salt and pepper on the table or refuse to accept coins, all of it.
    Fine.
    Hope you fail.

  17. Sack_O_Meat

    I don’t typically get any substitutions or modifications to my meals. I would still walk out if I saw that

  18. sd_saved_me555

    Not wanting to guarantee you can’t be 100% allergen free is valid. That shit is difficult and requires a ton of effort. And the stakes can be literally life and death.

    Patronizing your patrons for having the audacity to hold the onions because they don’t like onions? The only privilege that needs to be checked is the maker of that sign. Sure, some requests can be so off tbe wall as to be impossible or way too much effort, but your job is to literally serve food that people want to eat. If you are so inept that you can’t handle minor modifications to an order, you’re frankly in the wrong business.

  19. Expensive-Ocelot-240

    I’m vegan, and I’d like the salad without cheese … I guess I’m gonna have to go fuck myself instead

  20. dmonsterative

    It’s possible to be correct and also an asshole.

    (Is Jozef the Austrian spelling?)

  21. The first section about allergies is fine.

    The rest is condescending AF. If I saw that on a menu I’d leave and tell the host why.

    I 99% order straight off the menu.

    All you need to say is “substitutions politely declined”.

  22. Biscuit_bell

    LMAO.

    Personally, I think getting very precious about not modifying food is pretentious and unreasonable, as long as the requests are reasonable in the first place, but if you want to completely refuse to make any modifications whatsoever, whatever. It’s your menu. That’s not the offensive part here. What’s fucking insane to me is leading off, likely to a lot of customers who have never been to your restaurant before, with preemptively berating them for being entitled, demanding, and generally a pain in the ass who should be grateful they’re even being allowed to eat here in the first place. Like what the fuck is this guy doing with the smug, condescending tone, and devoting an entire page to bitching his customers out for like..reading his menu with impure thoughts? Absolutely not serious for even a second. This is someone who should not be in the business of serving customers.

  23. MetalRing

    Hey if you have a line out the door all day everyday you can act like this. If not, well, your probably going down.

  24. ReubenTrinidad619

    There are WAAAAY better ways to get this message across. None of them involve bringing up people’s moms.

  25. Itonlymatters2us

    Nope. I hate crazy mods just as much as the next guy, but you’re in the service industry. I get it, it’s your art, but you produce it for others to consume and you should always keep that in mind, so just, no.

  26. runny_egg

    Seems like Chef is an entitled little bitch with no understanding of hospitality.

  27. Dendorffle

    I worked in the kitchen my whole life you give what the customer wants to pay their hard earned money for and you make it good guess who’s coming back? Sounds like this guy can’t read a ticket when it gets busy

  28. NYerInTex

    It’s certainly their right to be entitled better than thou assholes and make this decision for their business.

    And my choice to point out the irony of calling out other people as entitled while acting like said better than thou entitled bitches themselves.

    These folks sound legit insufferable.

  29. Yeah this is the kind of thing you dream of saying to customers but because you’re a sensible and sane person who works in the SERVICE industry, you keep it to yourself.

    I know I’m using the word sane a little fast and loose talking about people who work in the service industry

  30. Gorr-of-Oneiri-

    Why is the note so condescending? I m always of the mind we try to make guests comfortable

  31. GreatZarquon

    People saying the first bit about allergens is fine, you are idiots. Chefs, it is literally our job to serve safe food free from cross contamination.

    If you don’t have the training, **go get the training.** It costs about the same as normal food hygiene training and takes an hour or two to do.

    If you don’t have the equipment, go to the fucking home store and **buy a few purple boards and knives.**

    If you think you might have contaminated a surface with flour, fucking get the sanitiser spray and **clean the surface.**

    The first part of the message literally says “we are shit at our jobs and don’t have any intention of getting better.” It is the 21st century, you should be better than this

  32. vibrantcrab

    That’s so infantile that I would just leave. Even if I didn’t want to modify anything, I’m leaving.

  33. snodgrassjones

    They sound good at hospitality and taking care of their guests…

  34. FatCatWithAHat1

    Yeah that’s a great way to lose a lot of business. Even if I didn’t want to modify my dish, this would make me think the owners/chefs are douchbags

  35. CankleSteve

    I just want extra onions on my burger cause I have a problem and this guy acts like I’m asking him to reinterpret calculus

  36. leesharon1985

    If you’re not cooking to make people happy then you’re doing it wrong. A meal is for bringing people together.

  37. the_gaming_bur

    “we do not have the qualifications to provide you with the service you require”

    Then get the fuck out of the kitchen. Are you not food handler certified? Properly educated on food management? Vetted from years of knowledge and experience? Somehow you *don’t* have qualifications to comprehend the 9 major allergens??:

    # Then you don’t deserve to call yourself “chef” let alone run a restaurant.

  38. CurrentSkill7766

    Fuck Chef Joseph.

    I could have lived with allergy warning, but the ‘living an entitled life’ crap is beyond the pale.

  39. turkeeeeyyyyyy

    I don’t substitute anything when I go out to eat, but I would definitely not eat here purely based on this condescending mocking bullshit

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