Mr Whippy’s in the house
Ninja Swirl by Creami
Price: £349.99
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For many decades, British supermarket ice cream billed as “Soft Scoop” has cruelly taunted us by being persistently un-scoopable. Ninja, recognising the need for ice cream that doesn’t bend tablespoons, launched a “Creami” machine (essentially an ice cream and frozen dessert maker) that became a sensation on TikTok a couple of years ago. It has now gone a step further with the Swirl, a kitchen-top unit designed to deliver swirls of soft serve into a waiting cone.
The Swirl could be described as a Creami machine with a soft-serve option bolted on. Its “Scoop” options churn up scoopable ice creams and sorbets, like the Creami. The “Soft Serve” option takes a little longer but makes them even lighter and airier. When the churning process is complete, you detach the tub from the unit, lock it into position on the dispenser, and pull a slot-machine-like handle to unleash the ice cream in a gently revolving swirl.
Cleaning it isn’t entirely straightforward; while the removable parts are dishwashable, you’ll sometimes find melted ice cream lurking in crevices of the unit itself. Additionally, things can get noisy: for example, transforming a frozen tub of canned fruit into a “Fruiti” dessert is about as loud as food processing gets. But the results are worth the hassle and the racket. This appliance is really about appreciation of texture; relatively humdrum ingredients such as rhubarb yoghurt or chocolate milk are transformed into desserts that feel remarkably special.
The perfect shave
Swan SI-5 Manual Ice Shaver
Price: £849.99
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Successfully preparing a top-notch bowl of kakigōri – the quintessential Japanese summer treat – depends largely on the texture of the shaved ice. Electric machines do an excellent job, but if you’re striving for authenticity you’ll be wanting a hand-cranked, Swan-branded machine from the Ikenaga Iron Works in Osaka, where they’ve been making them in much the same way since the 1950s. These traditionally styled models have found their way into Michelin-starred British establishments such as The Ledbury and Frog by Adam Handling, and are as durable and reliable as you might imagine. Clamp the block of ice in place, turn the handle, and the stainless-steel blade shaves the ice into a receptacle waiting below, at which point you just add your syrup (melon preferred here, thanks).
Hit me quick
Sage Barista Touch Impress with Cold Extraction
Price: £1,199.95
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If I fancy a cold coffee, it’s unlikely that I’ll have started a cold-brew process 24 hours earlier, so I cheat by making an espresso and cooling things down with ice. Coffee buffs may not approve, and they may also raise an eyebrow at an espresso machine that claims to dispense cold brew in less than three minutes, but that’s one of the features boasted by this version of the Touch Impress.
Users of Sage’s (aka Breville’s) other coffee machines will feel at home straight away, although interactions and recipe tweaks are mostly done via a touchscreen rather than buttons and dials. The main menu offers a range of drinks, some of which can be made entirely by the machine (latte, espresso, cappuccino) and some only partly (Espresso Martini and latte shakerato, with the full recipe displayed onscreen if you wish). Milk frothing, previously a manual affair, can now also be automated; I was reluctant to relinquish control, but it does an excellent job.
The cold-brew option is, meanwhile, a very good simulation of the real thing, achieved using espresso-style methods at lower temperatures. To me, it tasted less bitter than simply adding cold tap water to an espresso, and with some vanilla syrup, ice and dairy (or non-dairy, for that matter), it made for a real summer treat.
Block and load
Glazer Ice Press
Price: £225
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There’s a certain nobility, I think, in expending a great deal of effort to produce something beautiful but very fleeting. I usually see this in the realms of music or art, but there’s no reason why it shouldn’t also apply to bartending, and the Glazer Ice Press provides proof of this. It consists of two sections and is augmented by a range of inserts – skulls, diamonds, spheres – that are bought in pairs and fit into each half of the press. Place a three-inch-square block of ice between the two halves, press a button and the press closes slowly while the “dynamic melting system” works its magic. The result: a perfect ice sculpture.
For an even more striking result, you’ll want to start with a crystal-clear block. So, for an extra £38 you can buy a large, insulated ice mould that pushes air bubbles and impurities to the bottom and leaves two transparent three-inch blocks at the top. This freezing process takes (wait for it – no, really wait for it) 36-48 hours. Suffice it to say my quest to produce a perfect, crystalline skull to chill my next Old Fashioned was a long and noble one.
A bottle of red, a bottle of white…
Miele KWT 4999 F
Price: £6,599
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Chilling a bottle of white wine doesn’t require sophisticated technology, but keeping multiple types of wine for long periods at specific temperatures certainly does. This freestanding unit can hold a maximum of 146 standard 75cl bottles, with adjustable slats accommodating different sizes and blackboard strips for labelling. It’s divided in three zones, each with a separate temperature control; the top two can be set between 5ºC and 20ºC, while the bottom one, designed for longer-term storage, has a narrower range (10ºC to 20ºC) but also lets you set its humidity. Each zone has its own controllable level of ambient light, with the middle zone also containing a sommelier set (storage box, wine glass holders and a slideable tray for accessories).
Temperature can be adjusted using a panel on the exterior, or via the Miele app, which can also alert you to any temperature changes. Additional protection of your beloved collection is provided by low-vibration compressors, a UV filter on the door and optional charcoal filters, which can be fitted if the unit is situated in an area used for cooking. I’m afraid your cellar just became obsolete.
Feeling slushie?
Inoviva Slushie
Price: from £249
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Lately there have been concerns over glycerol, a sugar substitute used in the production of slushies, and the health risks it may pose to children. No such concerns with domestic machines like this, however; what comes out of the Inoviva Slushie is just a semi-frozen version of what you put in, with a stirrer and evaporator working to chill the drink to your desired consistency.
Having said that, sugar (or alcohol) is an essential part of the slush-making process; if there’s less than five per cent sugar in the liquid, you’ll hear the stirrer rubbing against the container and the machine will prompt you to add some more, in the form of granulated sugar, syrup, honey etc. But my first attempt at using the “Slush” preset, with half a litre of pineapple juice dumped directly into the container, worked perfectly: a gorgeously textured summer drink dispensed into multiple glasses in less than 20 minutes. Milkshakes and frappés have their own presets, while frozen sangrias and screwdrivers can be made using the “wine” and “cocktail” presets respectively.
Recommended
My only beef with the Slushie is its rather dim control panel, although once the initial selection has been made things do brighten up. The motor is quiet, and it’s easy to clean – a four-minute cycle does most of the work, with a couple of parts to remove and rinse under the tap afterwards. At which point you’ll invariably find yourself thinking, “What shall I slush next?”
Dining and Cooking