A Cretin in the Kitchen: Steamed Broccoli and Spray Cheese.

The return of the king?

What up folk? It’s been a long time. I shouldn’t have left you without some fat man the step two. That’s a Eric B and Rock Him remix in case you don’t know. Eric B and Rock him paid in full album. If you don’t know it, go find it. I believe 1987. Anyway, the big man with the big can. I’m back [ __ ] uh I know it’s been a while. So to the ones who actually come here because you want to be here, I sincerely apologize. But as they say, life happens. And uh I do do this as a [ __ ] hobby. You’ve never seen me get [ __ ] dollar one support from any kind of sponsor. But if you’re having trouble getting an erection, why don’t you try these red chewy chews? Because even though my dick works fine, yours may not. And see see how [ __ ] dumb that sounds. No, not doing [ __ ] commercials on my [ __ ] That was a fake product. Also, if there’s a something called a red chewy chew, you owe me for [ __ ] 15 seconds of [ __ ] I don’t ask for [ __ ] uh money. I never will. I don’t ask you to like and subscribe and hit the bell and all that [ __ ] I do this for fun. If you come here, you’re coming here because you want to come here. I mean, I would like if you would share it with people who might like it because that’s fun. I’m never going to hit that 100,000 mark with the [ __ ] silver [ __ ] plaque in the back to show, hey, look how cool I am. If I got that [ __ ] plaque, I drill two holes, I get a [ __ ] chain, I’d wear that [ __ ] [ __ ] on every video because I’d be like, look, look how [ __ ] dumb this is. You [ __ ] put me here. But that’s never going to happen. Nonetheless, I apologize. It’s been a while and I know the most the majority of you want me to see me [ __ ] sleep and snore. I get it. But in the recent past, between the last video and this video, I’ve had a [ __ ] ton of other [ __ ] going on. I can’t just lay down and do that. I’ve had to [ __ ] uh replace my home AC and heater unit and my entire [ __ ] truck’s AC unit at about $8,000 combined. Thank God for retirement funds that I’ll never actually get to retire and use, but I got to use them now and get taxed the [ __ ] out of my [ __ ] at the exorbitant rate. I know big words. exorbitant rate. So yeah, I had that going on. Busy season at work. Some nights I come home and I just go [ __ ] it, no dinner. Go do a quick [ __ ] horse bath in the shower, power rinse, and hit the bed because there’s I don’t [ __ ] care. I got enough reserves. I’m not going to starve to death in a night or two. I could throw me out in the You could throw me out in the [ __ ] naked and afraid. I’d be naked. I wouldn’t be afraid. I’d be okay. beverage. The building block, well, it doesn’t have the building block of life in it, which is water, but the extra [ __ ] keeps me well, [ __ ] insulated, and I’m not going to die anytime soon from hunger. Maybe dehydration. It is a diuretic. I think I got that I might have got that word right. Tonight I’m going to steam some broccoli. I went way off the path there. Just trying to catch you up where I where I am now with where I with where I am now. No edits. Edits are crutches for [ __ ] You can go back to any of the old ones. And that’s the same sentiment from day day one. From stay or day one to day now. I’ve had a couple of these. So, there’s going to be a lot of [ __ ] uh I want to try some steamed broccoli. I got a steamer. I’ll pull it down. I love this [ __ ] It’s generic [ __ ] great value. It is spicy nacho cheese. Wow. I guess it’s got wow in it. It does have a kick to it. And I like spicy foods and of any kind of cheese spread or the [ __ ] uh blotss of cheese or the habanero this or that or the [ __ ] pepper jacks. This has a little bit more of a kick to it than the majority of your just basic spicy cheeses, whether they’re actual cheese or a spread or excuse me, whatever the [ __ ] you get at your store. But again, I also don’t buy I don’t put the money out to get the super high dollar [ __ ] because I don’t want to be disappointed. If I put [ __ ] like $3 more out for something that’s the exact same thing as that and it’s the exact same thing as that, I’m out three [ __ ] bucks. [ __ ] that noise. I live all right, but I ain’t living that all right. Let’s get this steamer down. and get this broccoli in here. And while that’s steaming, I’m going to do some prep on some cucumbers and [ __ ] for snacks for work. I do honestly eat pretty [ __ ] healthy. I know it doesn’t look like it, but this is 50 years of well, not 50. This is probably 30 years of bad choices. Not nutritional, just lifestyle in general. Let me get a sip. Get the steamer out. Let’s get this [ __ ] going. All right, there it is. [ __ ] Move. I’ll be using and I got this at Walmart a long time ago and still just dependable as [ __ ] It is a Black & Decker. Yeah, it’s a Black & Decker steamer. It’s got a basic. They might not make it anymore. I don’t know. But this is old school [ __ ] and it still works because I take care of it. What you do here is there’s a fill line in here. Just put water in there. Hot or cold, you go up to the fill line. I’m going to put it right here next. Well, no. I got that [ __ ] plug blocked. I’m going to put it over here. Got me a nice bag of salted chilled peanuts because I like to those nuts, not these nuts. and plug this [ __ ] in. It’s one you can plug in before you turn it on because unlike some things I have like the little [ __ ] small crockpot, you plug that in, that’s the on. That dial is the on. Okay, you got the water in there. It’s got this little piece that goes between the heat element and the [ __ ] basket. It’s got this little thing here. That’s where the heat comes up. The drippings come in here. And then this has two a two it’s a two level, but I’m going to use one level. I’m just making broccoli and nothing else. But in the past, it’s nice to uh do some broccoli. Maybe on the upper one have some Brussels sprouts or some uh what’s asparagus. So, make sure that your house and your piss smells [ __ ] rancid. That goes right on there. Now, I did not prepare anything firsthand like I should have because I’m a [ __ ] idiot and it’s been a minute or two, a minute or two since I’ve been here. I need to cut the broccoli down to Oh my god. I had to cut the broccoli down to uh we’ll get the [ __ ] end. Take the [ __ ] ends off. If you watched any of the old videos, you know that the [ __ ] I cut off the ends of things, that’s the [ __ ] ends. These have [ __ ] ends. Those are going in the trash. And actually, the trash can needs to be closer. Excuse me. If you watch the old ones, you know, like keep the trash can close to throw the [ __ ] ends in. need a plate. I do not have any bougie [ __ ] pinky up goddamn cutting boards or fancy [ __ ] knives that look like they came out of a [ __ ] uh medieval sci-fi barbarian [ __ ] uh pulp novel, pulp fiction novel, whatever the [ __ ] You know what I’m talking about. The old stupid sci-fi fantasy novels from the 70s and 80s. Not sci-fi, but barbarian fantasy. Fantasy. Sci-fi is pew pew and fantasy is slash fantasy. I don’t know. There’s probably sci-fi fantasy where they Well, Star Wars pew pew. It’s all [ __ ] dumb. There’s only one logical [ __ ] uh medium, and that is zombies. Go ahead and discuss. Oh, if you want to comment below that vampires and other bull in sci-fi, I don’t tell you to comment below because I don’t give a [ __ ] Sometimes I see them. Sometime a lot of folks comment and it never even comes through because my comment shit’s all [ __ ] up. The comments I do get, I try to respond to, but a lot of comments I never even [ __ ] see because I don’t know if I got it set up wrong or set up where the [ __ ] they’re blocked or whatever. I do try to comment or comment reply to all the comments, but if you were to comment, tell me why zombies aren’t the freshest [ __ ] thing ever. I’m not asking you to if you want to. I think zombies are the freshest [ __ ] genre of all the stupid sci-fi fantasy [ __ ] superhero. Even in the [ __ ] superhero world, [ __ ] Marvel, the zombies [ __ ] have Marvel zombies. They got them [ __ ] So zombies are the [ __ ] You can take down a [ __ ] Captain America and the [ __ ] Hulk. I haven’t read the com. Is there a universe where there’s a [ __ ] vampire Hulk or a vampire [ __ ] Batman or any of that [ __ ] I don’t know. I quit reading [ __ ] when I was well when I found [ __ ] That’s not a slight to anyone who to this day married, has kids, and still does that [ __ ] I just lost interest. I also found video games and then I found ways to alter my mindset. Now, these broccoli here, we’re going to take the [ __ ] end off. See, it’s got the little [ __ ] grossness on it. It’s the fat part that holds all the [ __ ] together. Now you can break this down like that one just fell off. Soupless side. It’s a soupless side. What about my I’m not going to break it down. I’m put the whole [ __ ] thing in there because as it steams it’s you’re going to puberty. As it steams, it’s going to eat Godamn dry broccoli in the back of the throat. as it steams. God damn it. It’ll either fall apart or I’ll be able to cut it like [ __ ] broccoli steaks this [ __ ] That’s why you should never try to talk while you’re eating again. [ __ ] in. If I die on here, whoever finds a goddamn video uploaded as a public service announcement to not be a [ __ ] [ __ ] which I have not yet mastered. Like on this one, I cut the [ __ ] in off and it’s falling apart. So, I’m going to say this is probably about a half pound of broccoli that I’m going to steam for just the experiment of putting that delightful [ __ ] spray cheese on because we all know, well, anyone who’s ever had uh like cheddar broccoli soup or broccoli with cheese on it like at a [ __ ] any of your major [ __ ] uh buffets. mostly golden crow. You get the broccoli, you put cheese and broccoli go together. Like cheese and broccoli. I was going to make some kind of horrible shitty pun that would probably piss a lot of people off, but I’m trying to evolve as a human being. [Music] that. And I don’t know what I can and can’t say anymore without some [ __ ] trying to pop up my front yard and shoot me in the face. Give me a second. It’s been a minute. I’m still getting back into the flow. The fun will come when the fun comes. Going to put this on. Have a little sip. A nice beer broccoli belch. But you put a little cheese on there, it would taste like soup. Now, let’s get this [ __ ] going. Now, if I had, excuse me, a second layer, there’s this ring here. And then a second, you put the ring on, put that on, you build up, Black & Decker, if they still make it. It was at Walmart. It [ __ ] works like a champ. I am going to put Ah, something’s biting me on the butt. on the buttock. I’m gonna put this on for 30 minutes. So, I’m gonna put it on for like 35. I’m not going to be here for the entire time at 35. I’m going to put it on long enough. I think broccoli takes like 20 15 minutes. And that time, I’m going to actually also go in and I’m going to mandolin me up a That was a very suspect almost shark. Held it in. Kept my own. won that fight. I’m gonna [ __ ] uh mandolin me up a [ __ ] uh cucumber to take to work tomorrow for my break time. We’re all man. I’m not going to take the [ __ ] cheese, but I find has a plat on [ __ ] uh cucumbers, pineapple, watermelon. I haven’t tried it on celery. It’s not good on lemon. Well, I didn’t like it all. I didn’t like it on lemon, but taheen on [ __ ] uh cucumbers is the tits. And I’ll cut them tonight. I’ll put them in a saltwater. It’s not a brine. Is it a brine? Might be a brine. I’ll put them in some salt water. Stick them in the fridge overnight. Take them to work tomorrow. And during break, I’ll have those. Throw a little taheen on there. That shit’s good. Again, I eat surprisingly [ __ ] healthy. I’m an anomaly of [ __ ] science. No, I’m just a fat old guy that likes [ __ ] beer and counteracts that with eating [ __ ] that keeps them somewhat alive. Now, [Music] We’re going to get the same plate out I used for the [ __ ] broccoli. Give the knife a rinse. Give the plate a rinse. I just put a brand new roll of paper towels on the paper towel roller. Give us a nice wipe down. Because again, I’m going to have to take the [ __ ] ends of a cucumber off. Now, for this [ __ ] ankle almost gave up. This is about a medium [ __ ] Well, Tupperware, what we called it back in the 70s and ‘ 80s, but Betty Crocker, something you find at [ __ ] Walmart or wherever the [ __ ] you go. Probably a dollar. I don’t know. I don’t buy them too often. I’m going to put just cold water about a/4 to a halfway. You probably can’t. Maybe you can hear that, but it’s already steaming. It’s that little [ __ ] heat element in there. Just It don’t [ __ ] around. It’s black. It’s goddamn Black & Decker, man. Come on. Black & Decker don’t [ __ ] around. And I don’t even know if they’re still a [ __ ] company anymore. They’re still around. But back in my day, Craftsman was the tools. Black & Decker was the [ __ ] kitchen shits [ __ ] whirlpool was the [ __ ] uh refrigerator and the washer and dry. This back way back in the day. I’m sure all this shit’s probably changed by now. I don’t know. I don’t [ __ ] uh research [ __ ] that doesn’t apply to my everyday needs or wants. So, speaking of which, today I was listening to a a radio show at work. It’s called True Crime Garage. They do like they analyze crime [ __ ] [ __ ] and they at the start of their shows they give a shout out to a beer and it was one called Bissell Brothers B I S L Brothers. Swish Swish Swiss. Swish. No. S W I S H. Sour beer. This is supposedly a beer that’s made with Swedish fish flavor. Swedish fish being the little red candies you get at the whatever year round. I would love to try this, but it is not anywhere in the [ __ ] area I’m in in Kansas. So, I’m going to see if I can’t order me some of this [ __ ] off online because Swedish fish beer sounds [ __ ] delicious. And that wasn’t a commercial. I’m not getting paid for it. I just thought I’d be it’d be cool to someone who watches this where you can achieve getting the Bissell Brothers [ __ ] Swiss beer. Again, don’t I never asked you to comment. If you can get that, let me know if it’s good and then I’ll probably try to find a way to order it because I don’t want to waste 20, 30 bucks and then it gets here and I’m like, “Oh, that’s [ __ ] shit.” Let’s get these cucumbers. We got the water. If you’re a firsttime person here, you may notice ooh shiny object. Ooh, a [ __ ] noise. Ooh, over here. Ooh, over here. My [ __ ] doesn’t stay on track. Never has, never will. If I can focus it somewhat at one way, I’m doing something right, but usually it’s, “Oh, what’s over there?” Oh, what the Oh, I farted. Do my balls stink? [ __ ] like that. Now, for this, I’m not trying to [ __ ] tag a train car for you whites. Tag means graffiti. No, I got Himalayan pink salt for when I did a cleanse with uh you do the pink salt, you get the apple cider vinegar. I saw it online. You got apple cider vinegar, you get some they suggested Himalayan pink salt, which Walmart has. Great value. Uh some warm water. And if you want to throw a little bit of like lemon juice in there, it does make you [ __ ] It will if you a big enough glass, you will be in there pissing out your [ __ ] But since I have enough of this left, I like to use the Himalayan pink salt in my water bath here for when I do these cute cuz I’m going to let them sit overnight. And then when you take I’m not taking the skin off either. You take them out in the morning, it’s not going to be pickle flavored of Jesus Christ. It’s not be pickle flavored, of course, but it’s going to have that cucumber deliciousness with the salt already in it. Dude, I’m doing [ __ ] that basic [ __ ] do on Food Network. Y’all could get a [ __ ] uh what’s that [ __ ] called? Petition. Y’all could get a petition started at the Food Network. Give me my own [ __ ] show. Ah, [ __ ] I do the same [ __ ] that the goddamn Pioneer woman does basically. and she’s [ __ ] uh bank banking. I’m not trying to bank bank, but it would be funny to see me on the actual like Food Network where they had to bleep all my [ __ ] And I would tell them no, if it’s a half hour cooking show, we’re cooking for half an hour. We’re not doing edits. If they edited to me, I would point it out to the [ __ ] like these [ __ ] cut like 25 minutes of this [ __ ] out. I didn’t even cut this [ __ ] Some intern behind the scenes did it. Let me get the cucumber. Nothing against the Frontier Woman. I enjoy watching her show on break time for the 15 minutes I have break and uh it is kind of upsetting that she will just oh she’ll use storebought [ __ ] like I do. She’ll use like you know she’ll put the meat and [ __ ] be fresh but she’ll just grab a can of [ __ ] enchilada sauce and put That’s some [ __ ] That’s what that big [ __ ] uh he died. The big [ __ ] something red. He did like a little puppet thing too. Miss Sheila, whatever the [ __ ] his name was. Kentucky Red or Spaghetti Red, whatever the [ __ ] his name was. He did that [ __ ] He did the same [ __ ] I do without cursing. But he had a puppet and he had like a product line and he had his wife stand behind the counter. The count or the camera. the camera and the counter and he would say [ __ ] and she would say haha and he looked like a living muppet. No disrespect to the dead. Rest in whatever the [ __ ] you’re resting. But that [ __ ] did the same [ __ ] I do. Just familyfriendly. I obviously am I know what the problem is here and how to fix it. But I’m not going to because I’d rather be me than be [ __ ] what they want me to be. And they I don’t know. It’s the same ones they say, “Oh, they’re doing this and that.” No, no one’s doing Get a [ __ ] hobby. If you think the world’s out to get you and only you, get a [ __ ] hobby. Because no one except you cares about you. Maybe a couple two or three people around you. Unless they’re over your [ __ ] too. They’re probably like, “Oh, this.” When your phone goes off, you’re like, “Oh, this [ __ ] right here. God damn it. Get find a hobby.” All right. regular old school [ __ ] 98 cents a pound Walmart [ __ ] cucumber. And if watching me rinse and wipe a cucumber with a paper towel get you happy in your pants, well, there you go. I’m doing it. You can clip this, put it on loop, and you can go ahead and spackle your bedroom ceiling. with your man seed or your woman’s seed. I don’t know. Maybe you’re a squirter and you can shoot 50 foot like a super soaker. I don’t know. I’m not there and I don’t want to be there cuz I don’t care. But I do appreciate your patronage for not paying me anything and showing up and not sharing with your friends. Never [ __ ] going to ask you to do that [ __ ] All right. On this cucumber here, if you can see my [ __ ] super awesome knife working skills, I cut the two [ __ ] ends off. [ __ ] ends because why? They’ve got little buttth holes on them. That’s a [ __ ] end. That’s a [ __ ] end. That’s a butthole. And that’s a butthole. If you don’t believe me, go in your bathroom. Find a way to make an intricate system of mirrors and focus on open your cheeks and look at that and that’s your butthole. Hope it’s not green. But this the basic concept that little brown spot is your butthole. And I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before. I don’t know. I watch my old [ __ ] because I’m not [ __ ] that vain or that [ __ ] hung up myself. But in the past, I may or may not have said there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have seen their own buttholes and those who have not seen their own buttholes. And the people who have seen their own buttholes. Jesus Christ. The people who have seen their own buttholes are the worst [ __ ] in the world because no one should ever see their own butthole. Maybe a porn star, but that’s workrelated. Just a regular Joe walking down the street. If you know what your butthole looks like, you love yourself a little bit too [ __ ] much. I am my biggest fan. I think I think I’m a fantastic [ __ ] guy. I have never ever seen my butthole. I have seen pictures of the inside of my butthole from my uh colonoscopy, but I’ve never actually seen the entrance to the cave, if you will. I have seen the when they went in and spelunked they spelunked the cavern, but I didn’t see them actually enter the cave. I have no idea what the cave looks like. It could be [ __ ] glittery with unicorns dancing around it and [ __ ] sparkles. And there could be a rainbow behind me constantly shooting out of my [ __ ] that only everyone else can see, but I don’t know is there because I have never, not once in my life, cared or been [ __ ] curious enough to see what my [ __ ] looks like. That’s the difference between me and well most of this new generation. I’m sure most of the new generation has explored their entire body and they probably have pages dedicated to how lovely their butthole is. We’re going to get off that butthole before my cucumber goes [ __ ] brown. Told you folks. Sparks and whistles, beeps and clicks. The [ __ ] just Now I just washed this mandolin. I believe it’s called the mandolin. Not the kind you do the music on. Because I did some nice slices of onion last night for some of those delicious I’m going to show you again. I’m not getting paid for [ __ ] advertising here. I’m showing you what the [ __ ] that I like your first time. You don’t know your third or fourth time. You know, I love these Johnsonville [ __ ] better cheddar and bacons. I’m not getting paid for this, folks. I’m showing you [ __ ] that I like in hopes that maybe you like it, too. So if we all keep buying the same [ __ ] they don’t go out of business. I I read recently Johnsonville shut down like four or five plants and I’m like, “No, no, not Johnsonville. God damn it. That’s my [ __ ] burgers and my [ __ ] uh BRZ. All right, for this cucumber, it’s like watching a [ __ ] fever dream. I am the worst godamn thing you could possibly come across. Or the best. Got this here. Got the mandolin here. Get some nice uniform cuts. Getting too close. We got That wasn’t a uh racist Asian. That was a white ninja. Watch out, [ __ ] I don’t even know how to do that, nation. It’ll be I could probably do it on the phone and find out. Oh, the phone’s right there. I’m using it to [ __ ] film this. Ah, you dirty [ __ ] If you don’t have a mandolin for uniform slices, it’s like [ __ ] 20 bucks at Walmart. Everything’s like 20 bucks at Walmart. Anything good in the kitchen, 20 bucks at Walmart. God damn, fresh cucumber is the [ __ ] Rinse as you go. Now, if I were just going to take this cucumber and cut it up and snack on it, I would have taken I would have peeled the skin off. I would have peeled, you know, the rind, whatever you want to call it. I would have peeled that off. But since I’m going to put it in this brine. Salt water brine overnight. The pink [ __ ] salt and this I’m leaving the [ __ ] rind on so it doesn’t go [ __ ] mushy tits. Again, I don’t have culinary training. I don’t have science training. I know what I know from what I’ve done in the past. You leave it without the [ __ ] on there, it goes, god damn it, it goes kind of soft. You leave the rind on, it keeps integrity. Oh, and I did I’ll show you just to be [ __ ] uh I’m not lying to you. On the mandolin, those shits are the same. It cuts to whatever the [ __ ] you set it at. I set it at medium cuz I wanted medium [ __ ] cuts and I got medium. Doesn’t say it on the side. Medium [ __ ] cuts, but I got medium [ __ ] cuts because I said it for medium [ __ ] cuts. I have a potty mouth if you haven’t figured that out by now. And some folks say it’s from a limited vocabulary. But my vocabulary isn’t limited. Your ears are [ __ ] [ __ ] And by [ __ ] I mean they’re slow to hear the genius [ __ ] that I’m saying. And all these small and [ __ ] I’m drunk, dude. I’m I don’t know. I’m not trying to I’m sorry. I would have a more witty retort with bigger [ __ ] 50 cent words, but I’ve been drinking these for since I got home and I went to the store and that always pisses me off. So, I would have had a [ __ ] witty [ __ ] thesaurus rebuttal to, “Oh, he only cusses because he’s white trash piece of shit.” I never argued that. I am a white trash piece of [ __ ] but I make enough money to spend $100 every time I go to the store and then come home and still pay all my bills and still get gas for my truck and still buy a [ __ ] brand new heater andate. Well, that that took that out of [ __ ] retirement. That’s not a brag. I don’t have that kind of money on hand every day all day. But I got enough money to [ __ ] not worry about the small [ __ ] And if that upsets you, I’m sorry. I’m in my 50s. [ __ ] I’ve worked hard my entire life to have comfort. Am I comfortable in the house with the AC? Yeah. With the [ __ ] ankle that barely works? No. With the back that doesn’t want to work sometimes? No. With shoulders that [ __ ] pop out sometimes? No. But in general, am I comfortable and happy? [ __ ] yeah. Now I’m going to open one more. This broccoli is starting to smell broccoli. If you like broccoli, that’s a very nice broccoli smell. If you don’t like broccoli or vegetables like broccoli or asparagus or Brussels sprouts, I assume they’re all in the same family because they all smell very similar in the nice pungent pungency or it’s not bitter. It’s not sour. It’s just a smell like if you didn’t know what it was and you walked down the hallway. Who the [ __ ] somebody farting here? It’s a very fart smell. But at the same time, if you know what it is, it’s it’s one of those smells like if you know it’s broccoli or whatever the [ __ ] smells delicious. If you just walked in the house like, “God damn, what the turn the [ __ ] fan on.” It’s one of those perception things like when you watch Hill’s kitchen and they do the [ __ ] uh taste challenge. People who have they’ve been in this [ __ ] kitchen the entire time. They should know all these tastes and flavors, but you put that [ __ ] blindfold on and those headphones on and they’re saying [ __ ] uh kidney beans or [ __ ] broccoli. How the [ __ ] do you that disconnect back of my uh thigh? That wasn’t an ass cheek. Back my thigh itched. I’m going to put this in the recycle thing afterwards. Right now, I’m just uh waiting till I’ll mop that up later. Waiting for this [ __ ] to uh get fork t. Well, let’s try it. Could be fork tender right now. I want to try it in front of you with the god damn it. What the [ __ ] I want to try it with the uh spray cheese that I [ __ ] think is great. Have I forgotten how to operate a [ __ ] can? Jesus Christ. We’ll go and close this window, too. I don’t want the snipers to have too easy of a job. All right. Give me a [ __ ] forker over here. If you watch two or three of these, you probably know the layout of my the layout of my kitchen as much as I do. What the [ __ ] Oh, that’s the Never mind. There’s a little red bar across the top when you’re recording. I thought, what the [ __ ] is Don’t worry about it. I’m not. And on steam on the steamer, you got to watch your hands across this [ __ ] because while it won’t really [ __ ] you up, it’ll steam hurts. [ __ ] Am I blowing up from over here? It’s over there. Tell you folks, as the night goes on longer, I get more [ __ ] Or if you prefer a different word, mangaloid. I do know words. One more. That could have been a fluke. You always Gr say taste taste taste taste. That’s why when you see other videos while I’m making actual meals, by the time it’s time to eat, I’m full because I taste it the entire [ __ ] time. Oh, god damn. Now, you saw that was raw broccoli. No spices, salt, pepper, just raw broccoli. You saw me have a little [ __ ] uh dip [ __ ] dance over there. That’s how much I like broccoli. It needs another three h five minutes. I’m going to go five minutes. It is right there, but it’s not quite there. It’s right there, but not quite there. It’s right there, but not quite. That’s a [ __ ] good That’s a good lyric. It’s right there, but not quite there. You can use that. Uh, Jay-Z Eminem. It’s right there, but not quite there. You don’t got to [ __ ] credit me on that. I’ll just know if I hear it and I’ll be like, “Yeah, there you go. Yet again, stealing from the white man. Settle down.” I included Eminem and Jay-Z, so I got a black and a white stealing from me. So, it’s a uh nonfucking racist stealing. It’s a stealing in general. Man versus man. It does smell. When you know what brothy smells like when it’s cooking, it smells delicious. If, like I said, I were to walk in here from the outside, I would think someone took a [ __ ] in the kitchen sink. I just want to put this spray cheese on here. Give it a shot. Got the [ __ ] cucumbers in there. Tonight wasn’t a cooking one. Tonight wasn’t anything. Tonight was me just getting on here and [ __ ] rambling. So the ones who say they miss me, I’m sorry. I had [ __ ] to do. I had to [ __ ] repair the house. I had to repair the truck. Again, this is for fun for me. Let’s not make it not for fun for me. The nap [ __ ] I get to it when I can. I don’t have time to take a nap every [ __ ] day. I’m always going to snore, but there’s probably a thousand other [ __ ] who do it daily. I don’t think I’m special. I know I’m not special. But if you enjoy that [ __ ] I’ll try to get one in here down the road. I mean, my oldest son is out of high school. My youngest son’s about to enter junior high, so maybe I’ll have more time here and there to get one in. This summer, I spent time with my [ __ ] family. I’m not going to apologize for that. My family comes first. This comes when I have time for it. Not saying I don’t appreciate all the [ __ ] views and [ __ ] y’all do. It’s just something I do to pass the [ __ ] time. Less than two minutes on the [ __ ] broccoli. Then we’re going to put that [ __ ] cheese on there and I’m going to try it because I’ve had uh people in the past or commenters in the past say, “Well, why don’t you ever show us you trying to I have shown me trying [ __ ] but once I think it’s good, I turn it off so I can actually [ __ ] eat. I don’t want to waste your toy. Waste your term. I don’t want to waste your turn. Don’t waste your time or my time. Once it’s where I want it to be, I’m like, “Yeah, that’s good. I’m going to eat now.” And I turn it off. We are down to a minute and we’re going to get this [ __ ] It should be just nice and fork tender. God damn, that was a good b exp. The belch exposition is it flowed nice. You probably wouldn’t have caught it unless I showed you. Show you fork tender. Get this [ __ ] spray cheese on there. The entire I may even put some hot sauce on this [ __ ] Just regular good old school. Somehow the label came off but it is it’s Tabasco. You can probably see it on the [ __ ] thing there. Somehow the label fell off. But regular good old school Tabasco. Nothing fancy. 10 seconds. Spray cheese [ __ ] broccoli Tabasco. I’m going give it a shot. That’s my dinner for tonight. Shut up. [ __ ] them off. That’s my dinner for tonight. See, my dinner is a broccoli [ __ ] and nothing else. That’s why I’m saying I eat relatively [ __ ] healthy. Let’s try a piece. Yep, that’s good. That is good. I’m going to turn that off and unplug it. I’m going to go with a small bowl. Actually, I have one here washed. You got to watch your hands when you take the [ __ ] top off. You got to bring it open it. Bring it back towards you. It’s not in the [ __ ] instructions, but I find you open it, bring it back towards you, all the [ __ ] extra steam shoots off the other way so you’re not uh [ __ ] yourself up. What What would you call that? Steaming your hand steaming your hands, obviously. [ __ ] genius. You’re not uh putting any extra goddamn hurt on you. Again, folks, I’ve been going at it. Any of the [ __ ] genius has long since went to bed by itself and left me with me, which is [ __ ] dumb. Let’s try it. Oh, don’t be a [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] All right. All right. We got a decent little [ __ ] stock there. You see the [ __ ] steam coming up? Maybe. Maybe you can’t. I don’t have [ __ ] Ectopplasm [ __ ] ghostbusting technology. God damn. And a straight broccoli. No salt, no pepper, no butter, straight steamed. Now I got my spicy nacho cheese. Wow. I gave it a nice cover like [ __ ] what’s that string [ __ ] Party string [ __ ] Oh, I love that [ __ ] cheese or cheese product or whatever the [ __ ] it is. And to this traditional I wish I had the label so you know I wasn’t lying. Traditional straight up any [ __ ] mom and pop diner across the country. Old school Tabasco. Now I’m going to give that several shakes because I do like spice. I do like heat. My [ __ ] doesn’t, but the mouth does. So the mouth tells the [ __ ] to shut up. All right, let’s mash this down a little. I’m showing you. I’m not There’s no camera trickery. There’s no edits. I’m mashing this [ __ ] down to where the cheese and the [ __ ] Tabasco kind of melt. It’s kind of melted in. See? All right, let’s give this a shot. And if it sucks, I’ll tell you it sucks. Hit the back of the throat. All right, here’s my review. Give me a second, man. Here’s my review. The broccoli could have steamed a little longer. And the spray cheese with the Tabasco is delicious, but it could have probably done with about 20 seconds in the microwave to get it more melty because the steam of the broccoli wasn’t enough to melt it. But no, if all three together very good is a very good combination, but the way I combined them didn’t quite hit it. It would hit it. There are two more on the broccoli in a steamer. Spray cheese, Tabasco. 20, 30 seconds to microwave. Perfect. I’m the only one who will tell you the truth when it comes to cooking. That tastes good. It could taste better. Well, taste. It tastes good. Texturally, it could be better. The broccoli could be softer and the cheese could be more melted and the sauce. Tabasco is perfect for whatever the [ __ ] you want to use Tabasco for. Broccoli softer cheese more melted. Tabasco perfect. I’ll tell you the truth, it tastes [ __ ] good. It’s just [Music] it could have been presented better and I [ __ ] that up. Find another goddamn Find another goddamn cooking show or chef. Oh, Jesus Christ. Find another goddamn cooking show or chef who will tell you the truth. The [ __ ] am I doing air quotes for? Oh, find another cooking show or chef. I put the quotes in the wrong place. Chef who will tell you the truth. I’ll tell you the truth. This [ __ ] would be fantastic if I changed two things. It’s good, but it could be better. And if you wanted to add like garlic salt or garlic powder and all that [ __ ] you could definitely spin it up more than what it is. But what I have here, I am not I am not upset about. I got another [ __ ] piece back there. I’m going to turn this [ __ ] off. Finish this. I am going to take that one, put the spray cheese on it, put in the microwave for like 20 seconds, put the Tabasco on there, and it’s going to be what I wanted it. So, how do I finish these? Oh, as usual, with much love and respect. It’s been a long [ __ ] time. Take your pick. Peace folk or peace [ __ ] I’m going to go enjoy this [ __ ] [ __ ] right here. I hope you enjoy your [ __ ] night. If you do the same [ __ ] I hope you enjoy it, too. I’ll be back.