Fartmaxxing at my temp job, black beans and protein tofu
Fartmaxxing at my temp job, black beans and protein tofu
by DiaA6383
49 Comments
PetuniaDragon
This should be illegal
Disastrous-Low-6277
Bros got aura
Some_Ad_6511
This’ll definitely make you popular!!
VexTheTielfling
Prebiotics and tons of green vegetables does the trick.
303uru
I call this aura maxing, who can resist the eau de bean?
BSTrdN
Crop-dusting the entire office.
barontaint
Switch up to [stinky tofu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinky_tofu) instead of protein tofu if you have a nice Asian market close by and really want to weaponize flatulence. Throw in a little kimchi to add a nice tangy spice undertone to the crop dusting.
Objective_Party9405
Throw in some steel-cut oats, and this would be a colon-busting experience the likes of which few have ever seen.
SpeedBlitzX
First glance I thought those were coffee beans
dmohamed420
Crop dusting the office is vile
Room_Temp_Coffee
Trying to leave an impression when the job ends?
Lank-Man
“Coworkers hate this guy because of his one trick” 💨
f34rthefuture
There’s nothing shitty about this. Nutritionally dense, filling, easy to reheat. 10/10 would smash. Good job.
Dangerous-Courage412
stutesy
Throw in some garlic too Really get things going
Alarming_Shallot_470
beavis617
Add some sushi, hardboiled eggs and beer and that’s an awesome explosion of noxious rectal fumes!
MarbleGrove
“Protein tofu”
Exact_Comparison_792
A masochist pretending to not be a masochist, forcing themselves to eat the nastiest shit they could possibly eat. If I was your coworker, that would only happen one shift and you’d regret doing it ever again. 😄
climbingrocks2day
You know what would go well with this? A whole bunch of Jerusalem artichokes. Like, a lot.
Own-Negotiation-2480
Adding broccoli would really fuck people up.
Serious-Buy3953
Add some onions, garlic, and a protein shake
Calm-Conference9884
Zephyr104
/r/brandnewsentence
oliveoilcrisis
Your poor colleagues…
kappifappi
Well if I have to rto I know what I’m eating and what I’ll be telling my coworkers to eat
fart_attack_69
Fartmaxxing I love it.
Brainwormsz
Potion of IBS-C
dermsUK
Entire rooms hate this one simple trick
chopkins47947
Protein tofu?! Lol
happy_Ad1357
This makes me so so sad
Doglover4561
I wish I’d never read the phrase fartmaxxing
Weird_Yam6398
Let ’em have it!
LilArtsyCreature
Damn op what did your coworkers do to you for you to commit Flatulence Warfare on them?
LostinQuiddity
Do that when you dont like your co-workers… guaranteed to make them stay away
CompleteHumanMistake
You are turning yourself into a biological weapon. 😭
VeryTastyWaffles
Needs more eggs and boiled brussel sprouts
Kingdomall
you’re gonna be doing a lot more than just farting my man.
thankyousnoopy
Is it like maxing out in the gym?
CinnamonBun_ZSD
At least it won’t be the food stinking up the break room
Wakkit1988
If this gives you gas, then you need to eat more fiber in general.
Ricaaado
But why??
Flutterwander
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have like…some leafy greens with this at least.
jfk_47
You monster.
weakest-in-world
Add cabbage/cauliflower/broccoli and garlic for reinforced effect.
BadBadKitty_
You may not be there long, but your farts will remain for eternity
BokChoyFantasy
Soft or firm tofu?
baddude1337
Must really hate your coworkers.
may825
What even is protein tofu? Isnt tofu enough of a protein source as is?
49 Comments
This should be illegal
Bros got aura
This’ll definitely make you popular!!
Prebiotics and tons of green vegetables does the trick.
I call this aura maxing, who can resist the eau de bean?
Crop-dusting the entire office.
Switch up to [stinky tofu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinky_tofu) instead of protein tofu if you have a nice Asian market close by and really want to weaponize flatulence. Throw in a little kimchi to add a nice tangy spice undertone to the crop dusting.
Throw in some steel-cut oats, and this would be a colon-busting experience the likes of which few have ever seen.
First glance I thought those were coffee beans
Crop dusting the office is vile
Trying to leave an impression when the job ends?
“Coworkers hate this guy because of his one trick” 💨
There’s nothing shitty about this. Nutritionally dense, filling, easy to reheat. 10/10 would smash. Good job.
Throw in some garlic too
Really get things going
Add some sushi, hardboiled eggs and beer and that’s an awesome explosion of noxious rectal fumes!
“Protein tofu”
A masochist pretending to not be a masochist, forcing themselves to eat the nastiest shit they could possibly eat. If I was your coworker, that would only happen one shift and you’d regret doing it ever again. 😄
You know what would go well with this? A whole bunch of Jerusalem artichokes. Like, a lot.
Adding broccoli would really fuck people up.
Add some onions, garlic, and a protein shake
/r/brandnewsentence
Your poor colleagues…
Well if I have to rto I know what I’m eating and what I’ll be telling my coworkers to eat
Fartmaxxing I love it.
Potion of IBS-C
Entire rooms hate this one simple trick
Protein tofu?! Lol
This makes me so so sad
I wish I’d never read the phrase fartmaxxing
Let ’em have it!
Damn op what did your coworkers do to you for you to commit Flatulence Warfare on them?
Do that when you dont like your co-workers… guaranteed to make them stay away
You are turning yourself into a biological weapon. 😭
Needs more eggs and boiled brussel sprouts
you’re gonna be doing a lot more than just farting my man.
Is it like maxing out in the gym?
At least it won’t be the food stinking up the break room
If this gives you gas, then you need to eat more fiber in general.
But why??
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have like…some leafy greens with this at least.
You monster.
Add cabbage/cauliflower/broccoli and garlic for reinforced effect.
You may not be there long, but your farts will remain for eternity
Soft or firm tofu?
Must really hate your coworkers.
What even is protein tofu? Isnt tofu enough of a protein source as is?