I was young, newly married, and teaching myself to cook when a friend invited my husband and me over for dinner. Lasagna was on the menu, and it was more delicious than any lasagna I’d eaten before—including in my own kitchen and at restaurants. This friend, who later became one of my best friends, was a young newlywed, too, so I asked her where she learned to make such a flavorful, decadent lasagna.
“It’s a mix of recipes I’ve perfected,” she explained passionately. “Sort of my mom’s old recipe and sort of from a lady who brought lasagna to a potluck I went to once. I can give you the recipe, but it’s in my head, not written down.” We grabbed a bright pink index card and went to work, scribbling down a version of Shelley’s Lasagna, a recipe that’s still my go-to lasagna recipe nearly 20 years later.
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Like any good recipe, Shelley’s Lasagna has seen both me and its creator through good times and bad: the births of our children, celebratory dinners, grief and loss, and eventually what I thought was the end of our friendship. I moved far away, Shelley got divorced, and our kids kept our lives busy, but I still made that lasagna. Shelley’s Lasagna remains my kids’ most-requested birthday or holiday meal. Shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic, I volunteered for Lasagna Love, a nonprofit organization that connects home cooks with families in need of a little extra support, cooking and delivering the recipe to countless families—many of whom reached out afterward to tell me how good it was and ask for the recipe.
It’s the meal I immediately sign up to take to new moms in my community who’ve just given birth. It’s my go-to casserole for potluck dinners, my fail-safe meal for sick or injured pals, and the dish I pull out of my arsenal for any large-group entertaining situation (it makes a lot of lasagna). During the time when “my best friend Shelley” and I weren’t even friends, I’d make it and think of her, saying little prayers for her as I stirred the simmering meat sauce and sending her good vibes as I layered cheese, meat, and noodles into a pan.
Like this recipe, my friendship with Shelley has stood the test of time. Not too long ago, I received an email from my long-lost bestie wanting to reconnect. Time heals everything, it seems, and it wasn’t long before we were catching each other up on our lives over text. “I have to ask you,” I texted one day, “do you still make your lasagna? Because I make it all the time, for everyone.” She still does, of course, because like picking up where you left off with an old friend, it’s really, really good.
I asked Shelley to tell me more about her lasagna recipe. Turns out, her mom had a lasagna recipe Shelley adored, but over the years she felt it changed and “wasn’t as good” as it used to be. When she tried the aforementioned potluck lasagna, it reminded her of the glory days of her mom’s recipe, so she asked for the recipe, then made some tweaks to it until it tasted just like the one she grew up eating. Later, she asked her mom what happened to her lasagna recipe and why it changed through the years. Turns out, her mom was indeed making small tweaks here and there to try to make the lasagna healthier as she and her husband aged, resulting in a departure from its original goodness.
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So what makes Shelley’s lasagna so delicious? I’m not sure. It could be the mixture of two types of ground meat—beef and Italian sausage—that gives it so much flavor. I’ve also considered that it’s the use of more tomato paste than sauce, resulting in a thicker, heartier red sauce that’s never watery. It could be the addition of sugar to the acidic, tomato-based sauce, which mellows it out and gives it just the right hint of sweetness. It could also have something to do with the three kinds of cheese thrown in: Parmesan, mozzarella, and ricotta. Or maybe, Shelley’s lasagna is so good because it’s always been made with lots of love.
Whatever the reason, it’s a recipe I reach for time and time again, both to fill bellies and warm hearts. And I never gatekeep Shelley’s lasagna recipe. In fact, I’ve sent photos of my tattered, tomato-sauce-stained pink recipe card to more people than I can count—so many that I keep the image saved in my phone’s “favorites” album for quick distribution. My friendship with Shelley is one of my oldest adult relationships, so it’s fitting that her lasagna recipe is one of the longest-running, most-made recipes to come from my kitchen. There’s much I’m uncertain about in life, but something I know for sure is that I have the best lasagna recipe to share with the people I love, and lots of memories of a life lived with my friend Shelley to conjure when I make it.
Shelley’s Lasagna
Ingredients
1 pound ground beef1 pound Italian sausage, casings removed¾ cup chopped onions1 garlic clove, minced16 ounces canned tomato paste15 ounces canned tomato sauce2 tablespoons dried parsley flakes1 teaspoon dried sweet basil2 ½ teaspoons salt2 tablespoons granulated white sugar3 cups ricotta cheese1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese, halved1 teaspoon dried oregano¾ pound shredded mozzarella cheese1 pound lasagna noodles (such as “no-bake” lasagna sheets)
Directions
Combine ground beef, Italian sausage, onions, and garlic in a deep cooking pan or sauce pot, cook until meat is browned and onions are translucent.Drain meat mixture; then add tomato paste, tomato sauce, parsley flakes, basil, 1 teaspoon salt, and sugar to the pan. Stir until well-combined, then let simmer, for at least one hour. (I like to simmer my sauce on the stove for several hours to allow the flavors to combine.)When ready to assemble the lasagna, spray a lasagna pan (or 9 X 13 baking dish) with cooking spray and set aside. Preheat the oven to 350 F.In a large mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese, ½ cup Parmesan cheese, oregano, and remaining 1 ½ teaspoons of salt until thoroughly mixed.Layer lasagna noodles, meat sauce mixture, ricotta cheese mixture, and mozzarella cheese 2-3 times (depending on how much pasta you prefer in your lasagna), then top with remaining mozzarella cheese and ½ cup of the parmesan cheese.Cover with aluminum foil (I spray the inside of the foil to prevent cheese from sticking to it) and bake at 350 degrees F until cheese is melted and sauce mixture is bubbling, 45 to 60 minutes.If you prefer a crispy cheese topping, switch the oven to broil and remove foil. Broil on high for 3 to 5 minutes, until cheese is golden brown.
Dining and Cooking