DEAR MISS MANNERS: I notice that alcohol has a role in many social invitations: “Would you care to join me for a glass of wine?”
I do enjoy wine, and have for many years, but I’ve decided to stop drinking alcohol for health reasons. I do still enjoy nonalcoholic wine.
How do I politely accept an invitation, while also supplying my own nonalcoholic beverage? My question applies particularly to situations that are spontaneous, such as encountering a neighbor on a patio pouring a glass in that very moment.
GENTLE READER: Surely the key phrase here is “join me,” rather than “glass of wine.”
Don’t you suppose that you could have thanked the neighbor, sat on the patio and socialized while also politely declining the wine?
Yet Miss Manners reminds you that you, too, must treat the drinking part as unimportant. In an indoor setting, a nonalcoholic drink might easily be available. But in the situation you mention, it would probably require you to run home first for your own drink, or your neighbor to go inside to fetch one for you.
So wave away the drink with thanks, enjoy chatting, and — as you are in your own neighborhood — when your thirst overcomes you, go home.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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