Remove Friction

Take guests’ coats right away, give them a spot to set down their bag, and introduce them to anyone they don’t know, advises Grace. “It sounds simple, but it’s huge—you’re removing friction: anything that could make someone feel in the way or unsure what to do next.”

Offer Them a Drink

Once guests are comfortable, the next step is to get a drink in their hand. “Offering a glass of wine or even just sparkling water with lemon—my favorite—always breaks the ice,” says Giron-Galy. Grace agrees it should feel casual: “A drink or a small bite says, ‘you’re taken care of.’ People relax faster when they’re holding something—it gives them a moment to ease in naturally.”

Have Options

While alcohol is “an excellent social lubricant,” says Yonatan Chaitchik, general manager and beverage director at Shmoné, “I always make sure to have a thoughtful option for my sober friends—something more interesting than soda or water.” Chaitchik keeps a bottle of his favorite Unified Ferments kombucha on hand to serve alongside a pre-batched cocktail or Champagne. “I also love offering guests a choice of custom wine glasses in various shapes and sizes,” he adds.

Build in Buffer Time Before Dinner

“Serving food too early can interrupt the social flow,” says Wesley Sohn, director of hospitality at Gracious Hospitality Management. “Let guests get comfortable and catch up first, then transition to the meal. It creates a natural rhythm and gives the dinner its own moment.”

Dining and Cooking