Cheapest and Easiest Carbonara on Earth (that we know of)

I am italian, and with that I don't mean that my great great grandpa was italian, I mean that I was born and raised here, and every time people wanna make carbonara they panic cause they don't have the right pasta shape, the right cured meat ("where can I find guancheealee in Detroit?!?!?") and so on and so forth.

But let me tell you something: we are not on a cooking show. Food is meant to be easy, cheap, convenient, easy to make and tasty. Who cares if it's not "authentic"? I mean, if you really want to experience that traditional vibe, of course you can go through all that hustle, but in your everyday life I don't think it's worth it. And there are days where I feel like having carbonara without any fuss.

So this is how I make it (and it roughly costs 2,50 dollars or so per portion, depending on where you live):

Ingredients (for one person)

• 80-120g pasta (it can be any pasta shape, really, whatever you have at home and whatever you need to consume)
• 80g pancetta/bacon/ham/turkey/smoked tofu or whatever cured meat you have at home right now it's fine (I used smoked pancetta which is really cheap where I live)
• 70g grated cheese (again, go for the cheapest you can find, it can literally be the most synthetic cheese on earth, if you like the taste of it then you're good to go)
• 2-3 WHOLE eggs (2 if medium/large or if you used < 90g pasta, 3 if small or if you used >= 100g pasta)
• spices and herbs (here you can just follow your personal taste, I used ground black pepper and a touch of garlic powder, but in my opinion you can put whatever you want: onion powder, chives, thyme, you can put turmeric too, it goes well with cheese and might go well with your cured meat of choice)

How to make it (visual cues in the carousel):

1. Beat the eggs with the cheese and the spices until fully mixed
2. put your cured meat on a cold pan, turn the heat to medium and let it get crispy and golden brown. If you used a low fat cured meat (or tofu or tempeh etc.) be sure to add a spoonful of olive oil (or canola/avocado/sunflower oil) to the pan before adding it. Set aside.
3. Bring a pot with water to a boil, add salt and throw in the pasta. Make sure there is not too much water, cause we want the starch to not dilute too much.
4. After 5 minutes of cooking, take 2-3 spoonfuls of starchy water from the pot with the pasta and add it to the egg mixture and mix well. This technique is called "tempering", and you need it to make sure eggs won't turn into an omelette once you put them on the stove.
5. When pasta is ALMOST al dente, put it in a pre- heated pan (you can use the same pan you used to fry the meat, with the rendered fat/oil still there), add a little bit of pasta water and it finish cooking there (taste as you go).
6. turn the heat to low and toss the pan a bit to dissipate some heat and add the egg mixture (yes, with the heat still on). Make sure that at this stage there is still a little bit of pasta water on the pan, otherwise the eggs will turn into a spanish tortilla.
7. Mix as shown in the GIFs in the carousel until you get a creamy consistency. If it starts to curdle, immediately add a touch of pasta water.
8. Serve with your fried cured meat/tofu or whatever.
9. Enjoy!!