I always hear people use "not my style" or something else tactful to describe wines they don't like, but I wanna hear your real un-censored wine opinions. Gimme some good trash talk. Can be styles, grapes, producers, regions… I don't want any baby bs like "Natural wine sucks", take the gloves off.
Here's mine: Young Barolo isn't too harsh, you're just a little bitch.
I know it's not the best, I'm sure you guys will come up with some good ones.
by Eetabeetay
25 Comments
Pinotage isn’t that bad
Mass produced wine isn’t bad, you’re just snobby.
* Most modern tasting notes make me cringe.
* The history and legacy of a wine producer or region is interesting, but for my palate the best performing wines lack historical cache. They are forced to rely on what is in the glass.
* Perhaps the most legendary wine in world history had an ABV of 14.4%. ABV snobs can be so insufferable.
* Blind tasting is the great equalizer. I am unlikely to take someone’s wine advice seriously until I see them impress me at blind tasting.
>Young Barolo isn’t too harsh, you’re just a little bitch.
Some Barolos I’ve popped young have been really nice, medium bodied wines with a moderate tannic structure, but nothing overwhelming or unpleasant (Kirkland’s 2021). On the other hand, I’ve had a couple that were like chewing on a fistful of fiberglass coated cotton balls. This feels incredibly specific to each label.
Gewurz can LMB
I don’t understand how anyone likes Chinon. The first time I tried it I thought the bottle was off but no, it’s just old lady perfume. And I like floral! I’ll drink Gewurtz and Malvasia all day
Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc tastes like ass
I’ve spent way too much time memorizing what grapes are grown in which French regions. As a non “pro” it is annoying as hell. Your naming method sucks. Just put the damn grape/blend on the bottle.
One of my reps shits on lambrusco and calls it “old lady wine” i love a good lambrusco
Chardonnay tastes weird (champagne, you are excused from this)
California wine is worth about 10% of what it’s priced at. I see the prices and laugh. It’s not plonk but a €10 European wine will win 9/10 times. Nice try Hollywood.
Zinfandel ( primitivo) can be good but NEVER be great even at top tier producers.
Justin sucks
Duckhorn sucks (didn’t used to)
Josh sucks
And sadly most California reds less than $40/bottle suck
Oh yeah Chardonnay sucks
Get your nasty ass California cabs out of my face (save for Spring Mountain, I love you boo).
Brett in wine is always bad. GTFO here with your “barnyard funk” go drink Cidre Bouché if you want brett in your glass
Petite Syrah is just awful.
Bordeaux is for old people, drink something exciting if you’re under 35
Paso Robles makes the best wine in the state of California [ducks]
Most everybody in this hobby is insufferable and takes this stuff entirely too serious.
Also, who gives a single shit if somebody wants to not age a wine. Oh my god who cares. Young wine is excellent and for most of human history, it’s how wine was meant to be consumed.
Chuck Wagner, David Phinney, and Austin Hope are all egotistical dirty bags. I’ve seen 2 of the 3 yell/snap at people, staff, and the service industry unnecessarily. The 3rd I’ve heard through the grapevine has a short fuse as well. It doesn’t help that all of the wine these assholes make is the shit that is rotting the heart out of California wines. Megapurple, 15.5 minimum ABV, one note bullshit that goes for 40 to 500+ a bottle, and try blinding their shit, it all tastes the fucking same. Fuck all 3 with the rootstock of the old vine Merlot, Zinfandel, and Syrah these dipshits ripped out to plant more fucking Cab. I know most of y’all know this already so sorry for the rant.
Cab Sauv should only be a blending grape
Burgundy is a bit like Mel Gibson. Great back in the day but now I have no desire to be around it.
New Zealand whites taste like last years jolly rancher melted into municipal tap water
God gave Pinotage to South Africa as punishment for apartheid
Natural wine does suck.