Cooking for the family can be challenging, especially when nobody agrees on what to eat. Most people who cook regularly know the frustration of planning a meal, shopping for ingredients, and hearing “I’m not hungry” once it’s served. For one woman, this situation finally pushed her over the edge. She shared online that she was tired of her husband and son being picky eaters and had finally given up cooking for them.
The story
A 37-year-old woman shared on Reddit that she used to love cooking for her husband and teenage son. But over time, both became so selective about food that she got fed up making the same three meals again and again. She described herself as a skilled cook who grew up learning Spanish and American recipes from her mother. Still, her husband, who she said only eats boneless white meat and avoids seafood, refuses almost everything outside his comfort zone. Her 13-year-old son had started copying him and had become a picky eater.
After years of throwing out untouched meals, she decided to stop cooking for them altogether. She said she finally feels relaxed, but her husband complained about it. The poster wrote that they both work full-time, yet she’s still expected to handle selective dinners.
Now she eats alone most nights and asks readers whether she was wrong to give up cooking for her family.
The reactions
Many women have been in her shoes and could totally relate to her. One woman recommended, “Start cooking nice food for yourself, you deserve that. Let them eat the mundane”.
The original poster replied, “This made me emotional. I should start making dishes for myself. I don’t know why I don’t.”
It’s common for the person doing all the cooking to stop thinking about their own enjoyment and focus on everyone else’s preferences instead. Sometimes it’s worth cooking just for yourself, the things you’d really love to eat without worrying about anyone else.
Some people shared their own boundaries around picky eaters. One woman shared, “My husband tried to pull that, but I wasn’t having it. I flat out told him if he wasn’t at least trying the new dishes out, I won’t be cooking for him, and he can figure out his own meal plan.”
Cooking should be a mutual effort if both adults work full-time. If one person refuses to try anything new, it’s fair for the other to stop bending over backwards to please them.
One older reader also shared thoughts, saying that they should follow a rule they grew up with: eat or remain hungry. “As a GenX mama, I like to follow the example of my own Baby Boomer mama and Greatest Generation grandma, who always offered two choices for dinner if they were cooking: 1. eat it or 2. be hungry. I’ve found that to be a great menu, with allowances only made for food allergies/sensitivities.”
Some people may see this as a strict rule, but it eliminates arguments, reduces food waste, and reminds everyone that cooking takes time and effort. I grew up with the same rules in my home, and it only made me respect every food and the person who put effort into making it.
Others thought the son still needed more guidance, “Your kid is 13… You can’t let them fend for themselves without having food they can eat in the house or teaching them to cook. You need to teach your child to be an independent adult. They’re old enough to cook for themselves, but I wouldn’t, personally, leave them to their own devices for months.”
A teenager who refuses everything isn’t learning how to feed himself; he’s learning to wait for someone else to give in. Teaching him to cook even a few simple meals would not only help him in the long run but also make him appreciate food more once he puts in the effort himself.
Some readers shared stories of people who took the same stand and stuck with it: “My friend stopped cooking for her husband and three sons for about 1.5 years for a similar reason. She held out until she got the apology she felt she was owed. Be strong and love yourself. Let them cook if they want to be so picky.” Sometimes you’ve to step back to make others realize their mistake, and appreciate what you do for them.
One person shared how the woman can make her life easier, “Make and freeze some meals they will eat. And do the same for your food.” Freezing meals gives everyone something ready to eat without adding daily pressure. It also prevents waste and saves time during the week.
Some commenters thought the issue wasn’t just about food, “With two workers, you may have the money for a meal service? In which case, surely your husband can sign up and pay for one, or maybe you can offer to help him shop, prepare, and freeze his dishes for the week.
With your son’s change in taste, in case it isn’t the influence of the dad, maybe make an appointment for him to see a dietitian/nutrition specialist. I have known teens to start eating again to avoid that, grins.”
When both partners work, cooking shouldn’t automatically fall on one person. The husband could easily take charge of his own meals or use a meal service instead of relying on her. That kind of independence would remove a lot of tension from the situation.
On the other hand, children often mirror what they see at home, and if food becomes a point of conflict, they pick up on it quickly. Talking to a dietitian could help figure out whether it’s a genuine change in appetite or just learned behavior from the father’s attitude toward food.
How to deal with a picky eater at home?
Dealing with picky eaters can wear anyone down, especially after a long day of cooking. Here are some of the things you should do to handle picky eaters.
Serve one meal for everyone and resist the urge to cook something else if someone refuses what’s on the table.
Ask them to help cook or choose a dish sometimes. It makes them less likely to complain.
Keep one food on the table that everyone is familiar with, and introduce new flavors slowly. It avoids food waste and unnecessary arguments.
If they don’t want dinner, that’s fine. They can make something simple themselves.
Making dinner every day can be stressful when people don’t like what you cook and are always nitpicking everything. Sometimes it’s fine to stop for a while and let everyone take care of their own food. It gives you a chance to relax and make others learn to appreciate your effort.
Dining and Cooking