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Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 68
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Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 68


Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 68

by F1exican

33 Comments

  4. elmonosuci0

    I thought you were perfect yesterday?!?!

  8. DrWorstCaseScenario

    It wasn’t 67… Will it be 69?!?

  10. cindybobindy21

    2 minutes ago 😵‍💫 I’m way too early for the planes.

  11. walkerlucas

    What’s everyone in the /u/karmakrazi lounge pulling up to drink pre flight tonight?

  13. SleepyBubBear7329

    Y’all ever legitimately wonder which poor soul(s) at the Agencies That Be are tasked with surveilling the Chive-Lore/this particular sub or is it just me 😅
    Must have been absolutely **wild** as the popularity skyrocketed & those key words & memes started getting exponentially flagged…

    Just imagine needing to give an official report on what’s happening in the Chivenets…

    *…um Sir, you’re never going to believe this… but, uh… how do I explain this… so have you ever tried to cut chives?*

    Chives? Wtf does this have to do with counterterrorism?

    *…sigh… so apparently cutting chives is a thing… and there are even like COMPETITIONS to cut chives better. and-*

    -cut to the chase. WHY are our systems flying off the radar?

    *well, um… so… how do I put this… uneven extra long chives are called … towers…*

    …

    *… sigh… ok, so there’s this guy on Reddit-*

    -of course it’s Reddit…

    *yeah… So he’s decided to practice and post photos of his chives until his subreddit says they’re perfect*

    Oh ok, sounds innocent enough, but this will never take off. Knowing the internet, they’ll get bored pretty quick right?

    *…sigh…*

    RIGHT?

    *…i’m afraid not, Sir. They’ve now adopted a mascot in Chives the cat“*

    o.O. what does this have to do with towers and counterterrorism?

    *Chives the cat is not the problem… the problem is that there is this other guy called Kamikazi, oh sorry I misread it, K a r m a k r a z i…*

    …oh for fuck’s sake

    *so karma is-*

    -I know what Reddit karma is.. keep going.

    *so he has been donned the official Chive Pilot.*

    …

    *mumblesunderbreath he’s been flying planes into the towers…*

    …UGH ok, it could’ve been worse. At least there’s no reference to-

    *-Chive 11?*

    GODDAMIT!

    *…*

    …

    *…*

    shakes head… somethingsomethingwasteoftaxdollarssomethingsomething sigh – I’m gonna need daily reports, keep me updated

  14. Future_Bank_9149

    ![gif](giphy|H6cmWzp6LGFvqjidB7|downsized)

    When it’s your first time this early and there are no comments yet

  23. Beneficial_Target_31

    My conspiracy is that you guys purposefully graded harder on day 67 (which was, imo, perfect) and today to guarantee that it ends on day 69.

  24. Grub-lord

    The Buddha says perfection is a burden, and a lie.

  26. bpm130

    Real question, at what point will the chives be good enough. This is starting to feel like Sisyphean kind of task

  27. Sharqua

    As a prefix to tomorrow’s homogeneous response chain, I hope others will join me in thanking you for seeing this through. We really have appreciated your dedication and commitment and especially your sense of humility when admitting to a mistake.

    We appreciate you, dude. All the best and I hope tomorrow is the day. You’ve earned it.

  33. tehjoz

    ![gif](giphy|lMsAIcumVD7gaUwPyF|downsized)

    How the haters reporting this must feel