I think I have a crappy recipe book because this is the blandest soup I've ever had.
by foreverpostponed
40 Comments
theycallmeMrPickles
I’ve never seen broccoli soup that didn’t contain a bunch of cream, butter, and salt. You might be able to salvage it by transferring to a stockpot and adding cream and butter (maybe some cheddar too if you like cheese).
CyberSkepticalFruit
I would say add some salt or liquid seasoning to boost the flavours.
fishofhappiness
It’s called DETOX soup—so not only is it probably not geared towards tasting good, it’s leaning hard on dubious science. Your body detoxes just fine on its own unless you are missing/have issues with your liver. As far as this recipe—the other poster is right. Needs cream, butter, fat—at the very least a boost of umami, so a bouillon to boost the stock.
murdochi83
There is no way on earth I would assume anything with “detox” in the title is going to be a pleasant time.
There’s also the fact that anything with “detox” in the title or description, other than your liver and kidneys, is probably complete bunko too makes me think this is just a nonsense recipe book with AI photos.
blinger44
Broccoli soup, more like broccoli goop
mtinmd
Looks like baby food….
Some salt and a hit of acid would help it out.
BayouKev
It is called detox soup, I don’t think flavor was the goal
exit2urleft
Yeah, this recipe is terrible. Even for something lighter like I’d expect a “detox” soup to be. (Also as others have pointed out, a detox is bullshit but I totally understand craving a light soup.)
But in no universe does broccoli need to be slow cooked for 4-8 hrs, god damn! No wonder it’s nearly grey. You could prob simmer the soup for twenty min and be fine
ryeong
Honestly idk what you were expecting? It’s a detox soup. Those are often bland and boring. It’s not meant to taste good, it’s whack jobs pretending to help you “feel better.” It actually came out pretty close too. She added toppings for embellishment, likely some food color for the extra green look and blended it better than you did, which I assume was on purpose on your part to make a funnier photo.
Professional photography and better blending aside you made the same soup. Maybe don’t get a pseudo science cookbook next time?
juliantheguy
Gordon Ramsay’s broccoli soup recipe (if I remember right) is literally just broccoli, the water it was boiled in, and salt. It’s decent, assuming you like broccoli lol
ceecee_50
Well, yeah, it’s a detox soup. Do you want a real broccoli soup? It’s got to have cheese and cream and all that good tasting stuff in there.
WesternWitchy52
Made the mistake of making broccoli and cauli soup a while back in the fall. Holy crap…. literally. Never again lol
cutofmyjib
It would probably taste alright if you doubled (or tripled) the seasonings, added some cream (or coconut cream) and cooked it on the stove. Caramelizing the onions would also improve the flavor.
freckyfresh
It looks like it turned out exactly how I would expect this recipe to turn out.
MyChurroMacadamianut
Needs butter, fresh parm or asiago, lemon, and some cream.
HeavyLoungin
The picture in the cookbook is misleading. It’s a nice bright green while yours is olive drab. What they have in the picture (I can ASSURE you) was not slow-cooked for 3-4 hours. I wouldn’t even slow cook this. I would steam the broccoli and then shock it in cold water to preserve the color. Hell, steam the carrots as well and then shock. Make the rest of the soup, add shocked vegetables at end and puree. A splash of lemon juice or red wine vinegar would probably go a long way as well.
badschemeprize
The color of overcooked broccoli is very unappetizing, slow cooking broccoli this long is wholly unnecessary and I bet you could get good results just steaming to al dente instead. “Salt to taste” means use your judgement. The recipe looks okay, but you needed more salt if your result is bland.
blade_torlock
Every time I use vegetable stock that I didn’t make ahead of time the end result turns out terrible. There’s also a reason cream of broccoli is a thing. Lastly soup needs a lot of salt or msg and a splash of lemon or vinegar to brighten the end results.
Degolfer03
My broccoli soup recipe: Steam broccoli Put broccoli and steamed water in a blender Add more water if needed Blend Add salt Goat cheese if you want as garnish.
Eat soup.
Very easy and fam loves it.
lolsalmon
🎶 _Detox comin’ at you with a bad soup_ 🎶
SuperDoubleDecker
That’s all healthy stuff. There’s no flavor because there’s no fat.
mira_poix
I keep seeing these awful A.I. cookbook recipes….I need to just go ahead and make my own that’s not awful
pentarou
Cooking broccoli for 4-8 hours wth 💀
Competitive_Test6697
8 hours!
Jurodan
Are you sure this wasn’t swapped for vegan split pea while you weren’t looking?
zigzagdc1
The slow cooker is not the way to go here. Just cook this on the stove. 30-40 minutes and you’re good. For those that say it needs cream or butter – nah – just up the stock.
Slashredd1t
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEEEEEOOOOOOOPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEE
TCDGBK84
First off, I would be skeptical because I have a hard time believing that broccoli cooked in a slow cooker for hours would be the shade of green that the book’s illustration shows.
And then, as others have pointed out – selling something as a “detox food” because it’s high in fiber is disingenuous to me.
Fun_in_Space
Ick. That cookbook belongs in the trash.
Spencie-cat
r/ShitFromAButt
ThisAutisticChick
Well. It doesn’t give an amount of salt needed and I’d guess it needs a shitton to properly season all the vegetables.
NathanBarley
Yeah, this ain’t the way. The best broccoli soup recipes I’ve tried want you to cook the broccoli until it’s just tender (i.e., for minutes, not hours).
printerparty
My friend, I have the best fucking cook book recommendation for you. You’ll own this for the rest of your life, *it’s a tome.*
This is an amazing book, I’m a gardener and I like to grow every new vegetable I can find. There’s a chapter for everything. I made collard greens for the first time and it was this velvety, rich delicious pot of greens. Better than I’ve had in restaurants!
I’m not a vegetarian, but this makes it really easy to use up a CSA box, or hit up a farmer’s market and come home and use those veggies to their best potential.
My boss gave me a couple bunches of like, 3-foot long dandelion greens, there was a recipe!
FangornEnt
4hrs high or 8hrs on low seems like a crazy long time for just vegetables. I’d imagine this thing had a pretty bitter taste. That’s an hour long cook time on high max. Probably better without blending everything together as well..
TheNewYellowZealot
Yeah, because as broccoli cooks it’s got a chemical that breaks down into a fart smell/taste. All the brassica do that. Cook the soup without the broccoli then steam it at the end and add it in
IAMA_Shark__AMA
People are calling out the detox element, but I looked at the ingredients and didn’t see anything particularly egregious. It seems to me like you just didn’t season it enough during the cooking process. Salt is what fixes “bland.” It says to salt to taste, but it seems like you didn’t actually salt it until the blandness was corrected.
Personally, I’d also add a bit more liquid of some sort (heavy cream?), and maybe use chicken stock instead of veg. But it should be fine if you just actually season.
royalhawk345
Hey we have the same bowls!
Deadbreeze
Misprint. That recipe was for broccoli goop.
ButtholeConnoisseur0
Tell me what “toxins” this soup was meant to remove from your body.
GumGum_AirHead
Congratulations! You made baby food. Just wait for gerbers call! Ngl great first attempt. I would have failed even worse
40 Comments
I’ve never seen broccoli soup that didn’t contain a bunch of cream, butter, and salt. You might be able to salvage it by transferring to a stockpot and adding cream and butter (maybe some cheddar too if you like cheese).
I would say add some salt or liquid seasoning to boost the flavours.
It’s called DETOX soup—so not only is it probably not geared towards tasting good, it’s leaning hard on dubious science. Your body detoxes just fine on its own unless you are missing/have issues with your liver. As far as this recipe—the other poster is right. Needs cream, butter, fat—at the very least a boost of umami, so a bouillon to boost the stock.
There is no way on earth I would assume anything with “detox” in the title is going to be a pleasant time.
There’s also the fact that anything with “detox” in the title or description, other than your liver and kidneys, is probably complete bunko too makes me think this is just a nonsense recipe book with AI photos.
Broccoli soup, more like broccoli goop
Looks like baby food….
Some salt and a hit of acid would help it out.
It is called detox soup, I don’t think flavor was the goal
Yeah, this recipe is terrible. Even for something lighter like I’d expect a “detox” soup to be. (Also as others have pointed out, a detox is bullshit but I totally understand craving a light soup.)
But in no universe does broccoli need to be slow cooked for 4-8 hrs, god damn! No wonder it’s nearly grey. You could prob simmer the soup for twenty min and be fine
Honestly idk what you were expecting? It’s a detox soup. Those are often bland and boring. It’s not meant to taste good, it’s whack jobs pretending to help you “feel better.” It actually came out pretty close too. She added toppings for embellishment, likely some food color for the extra green look and blended it better than you did, which I assume was on purpose on your part to make a funnier photo.
Professional photography and better blending aside you made the same soup. Maybe don’t get a pseudo science cookbook next time?
Gordon Ramsay’s broccoli soup recipe (if I remember right) is literally just broccoli, the water it was boiled in, and salt. It’s decent, assuming you like broccoli lol
Well, yeah, it’s a detox soup. Do you want a real broccoli soup? It’s got to have cheese and cream and all that good tasting stuff in there.
Made the mistake of making broccoli and cauli soup a while back in the fall.
Holy crap…. literally. Never again lol
It would probably taste alright if you doubled (or tripled) the seasonings, added some cream (or coconut cream) and cooked it on the stove. Caramelizing the onions would also improve the flavor.
It looks like it turned out exactly how I would expect this recipe to turn out.
Needs butter, fresh parm or asiago, lemon, and some cream.
The picture in the cookbook is misleading. It’s a nice bright green while yours is olive drab. What they have in the picture (I can ASSURE you) was not slow-cooked for 3-4 hours. I wouldn’t even slow cook this. I would steam the broccoli and then shock it in cold water to preserve the color. Hell, steam the carrots as well and then shock. Make the rest of the soup, add shocked vegetables at end and puree. A splash of lemon juice or red wine vinegar would probably go a long way as well.
The color of overcooked broccoli is very unappetizing, slow cooking broccoli this long is wholly unnecessary and I bet you could get good results just steaming to al dente instead. “Salt to taste” means use your judgement. The recipe looks okay, but you needed more salt if your result is bland.
Every time I use vegetable stock that I didn’t make ahead of time the end result turns out terrible. There’s also a reason cream of broccoli is a thing. Lastly soup needs a lot of salt or msg and a splash of lemon or vinegar to brighten the end results.
My broccoli soup recipe:
Steam broccoli
Put broccoli and steamed water in a blender
Add more water if needed
Blend
Add salt
Goat cheese if you want as garnish.
Eat soup.
Very easy and fam loves it.
🎶 _Detox comin’ at you with a bad soup_ 🎶
That’s all healthy stuff. There’s no flavor because there’s no fat.
I keep seeing these awful A.I. cookbook recipes….I need to just go ahead and make my own that’s not awful
Cooking broccoli for 4-8 hours wth 💀
8 hours!
Are you sure this wasn’t swapped for vegan split pea while you weren’t looking?
The slow cooker is not the way to go here. Just cook this on the stove. 30-40 minutes and you’re good. For those that say it needs cream or butter – nah – just up the stock.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEEEEEOOOOOOOPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEE
First off, I would be skeptical because I have a hard time believing that broccoli cooked in a slow cooker for hours would be the shade of green that the book’s illustration shows.
And then, as others have pointed out – selling something as a “detox food” because it’s high in fiber is disingenuous to me.
Ick. That cookbook belongs in the trash.
r/ShitFromAButt
Well. It doesn’t give an amount of salt needed and I’d guess it needs a shitton to properly season all the vegetables.
Yeah, this ain’t the way. The best broccoli soup recipes I’ve tried want you to cook the broccoli until it’s just tender (i.e., for minutes, not hours).
My friend, I have the best fucking cook book recommendation for you. You’ll own this for the rest of your life, *it’s a tome.*
[Deborah Madison “Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone”](https://www.worldofbooks.com/products/vegetarian-cooking-for-everyone-book-deborah-madison-9780767927475)
This is an amazing book, I’m a gardener and I like to grow every new vegetable I can find. There’s a chapter for everything. I made collard greens for the first time and it was this velvety, rich delicious pot of greens. Better than I’ve had in restaurants!
I’m not a vegetarian, but this makes it really easy to use up a CSA box, or hit up a farmer’s market and come home and use those veggies to their best potential.
My boss gave me a couple bunches of like, 3-foot long dandelion greens, there was a recipe!
4hrs high or 8hrs on low seems like a crazy long time for just vegetables. I’d imagine this thing had a pretty bitter taste. That’s an hour long cook time on high max. Probably better without blending everything together as well..
Yeah, because as broccoli cooks it’s got a chemical that breaks down into a fart smell/taste. All the brassica do that. Cook the soup without the broccoli then steam it at the end and add it in
People are calling out the detox element, but I looked at the ingredients and didn’t see anything particularly egregious. It seems to me like you just didn’t season it enough during the cooking process. Salt is what fixes “bland.” It says to salt to taste, but it seems like you didn’t actually salt it until the blandness was corrected.
Personally, I’d also add a bit more liquid of some sort (heavy cream?), and maybe use chicken stock instead of veg. But it should be fine if you just actually season.
Hey we have the same bowls!
Misprint. That recipe was for broccoli goop.
Tell me what “toxins” this soup was meant to remove from your body.
Congratulations! You made baby food. Just wait for gerbers call! Ngl great first attempt. I would have failed even worse