Dining and Cooking
For the holidays, my mom makes “Christmas Candles.” This has been going on for years now. No one wants to be the one to tell her.
In Shitty Food Porn

For the holidays, my mom makes “Christmas Candles.” This has been going on for years now. No one wants to be the one to tell her.


For the holidays, my mom makes “Christmas Candles.” This has been going on for years now. No one wants to be the one to tell her.

by Naberius

44 Comments

  2. Cloud_bunnyboo

    Is there a sauce on the end of that banana?

    ![gif](giphy|dvILshvavCEaM2tIWa)

  3. are-we-the-baddies

    My very conservative grandmother used to make this too but with the addition of whipped cream at the base which acted as an analog for pubes. She had no idea but my dad and my aunt and uncle always thought it was hilarious when she proudly brought the dick candles out from the kitchen.

  5. Demiurge_Ferikad

    Dude really needs to go see a urologist, because that don’t look right.

  9. Quadrilaterally

    Does it actually light up? Is there a wick in the dick?

  11. supplemcrib

    there’s a recipe for this in a cookbook i have from the 50s!!! it says to put an almond on top of the cherry and light it on fire. almonds supposedly burn like wicks

  12. reincarsonated_benzo

    ![gif](giphy|ymUSfOzi2GjNxFEC9T)

  14. Unipiggy

    Omg I’m gonna do this

    Question, though, what is being used to stick the cherry on the banana?

  15. FeistyRelationship44

    ![gif](giphy|fnK0jeA8vIh2QLq3IZ)

    WITH the cherry on top? You go, Mom!😆

  16. cash_longfellow

    She knows, and is f’n with y’all 😂

  17. AffectionatePhase673

    I made these a few times from a children’s cookbook, before I knew how hilarious they were. My parents didn’t let on.

  18. raginglilypad

    Do people actually think their moms/grandmas have never seen dicks or see phallic things lol

  19. MissingMimi1250

    To paraphrase B Dylan Hollis: “I don’t know if I need a knife and fork or if I need to tie my hair back.”

  20. TheSwearJarIsMy401k

    I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Mom has seen a penis at least once before

  21. Sadsandal007

    How is this a candle? Lol looks like dessert gone wrong

  22. KiwiBikers

    god i remember seeing these in a cookbook from the era and just giggling. who decided to make it like that

  23. Jeramy_Jones

    I didn’t realize that anyone was making this recipe un-ironically.

    Your mom is a precious artifact and possibly the last of her kind.

  27. Sandisax1969

    If y’all want a laugh,look up bdylanhollis on YouTube…he has a video with candle salad-it’s hilarious.

  31. foxygenSupply

    This recipe is mentioned in the Secret Life of Bees if I remember correctly. The older lady makes it as a snack. It was popular in the 50s or so

  34. Lopsided_Antelope868

    Leave her be. This is too funny!

  36. DaisyoftheDay

    ![gif](giphy|jwDM8Gj5J3AX60aAOT)

    Oh that’s just wiglet, gotta catch em all amiright?

  37. SwordTaster

    B Dylan Hollis has a video on these “candle salads”

  38. Genericsoda4

    Your entire family thinks your mother doesn’t know what a penis looks like?

  39. markhughesfilms

    your mom in this subreddit later tonight: “For the holidays, I make big fruit-dicks. This has been going on for years now and these cowards still won’t say anything.”

  40. TheNewYellowZealot

    Candle salad.

    Yeah. She knows. It’s a joke.

  41. NachoKittyMeow

    It’s the one time of year Mom gets to make her kids eat a dick. Let her have this—she’s earned it.

  42. buzzonga

    So since your Mom is a Mom, that infers that she has seen a penis at least one time, possibly more. She knows.

  43. OG_s0cial0utcast

    If she has a sense of humor, she’s probably seeing how long it takes for someone to say something. Just for her own amusement.

  44. nobody65

    I am pretty sure she knows and likes trolling all of you.