Guys, I need the hive mind to settle a neighborhood civil war that's about to erupt.
There's this dude down the street who fires up his smoker every weekend and sells plates out of his driveway. The entire block acts like he's the second coming of Aaron Franklin. People line up, kids name their pets after him, old ladies offer to knit him sweaters. They all swear his brisket is "life-changing," "melt-in-your-mouth," "better than sex" (direct quote from Karen next door, and now I can't look her in the eye).
But… y'all… I finally saw a close-up pic of one of his slices, and it looks like beef jerky's sad, overcooked cousin. We're talking bark so thick it could patch a roof, smoke ring thinner than my patience, and a texture that screams "I was forgotten on the smoker since the Obama administration."
Meanwhile, every brisket porn post on here is glistening, jiggling, pulling apart with a gentle breeze. This man's brisket looks like it would fight back if you tried to cut it.
So please, tell me: is this secretly the most tender, juicy brisket on planet Earth and I'm just a clueless internet snob? Or is my neighborhood collectively gaslighting me into believing shoe leather is peak BBQ?
Pics attached for your professional judgment. Be gentle… or don't. I can take it. Just don't tell Karen.
by Glassedeyeballs
33 Comments
This looks horrible. Shoe leather is actually jealous of how tough this is.
I’d be disappointed if that’s how my brisket turned out
Well if you’re ever having a low self-esteem day, you could always go give Karen the most mid fuck of your life and blow her mind, by the look of that brisket.
Sounds like a neighborhood showdown needs to happen. Brisket on brisket. Winner takes all neighbors. Risk it for the brisket.
He’s just down the street?
If only there were a simple way you could answer all these questions. If only there was some miracle that would allow you to just try the brisket being sold down the street from you.
Oh well. This will remain one of life’s mysteries.
Tree bark looks more moist then this
Lost it at “smoke ring thinner than my patience,” hahaha.
It must be a neighborhood that never had brisket before. That looks like failed raccoon taxidermy
Dry brisket is less cringe than using AI to write your post about dry brisket
The thing is it might not be the best brisket. You’d have to try it yourself to know for sure. It doesnt look like much but its probably better than most of the local franchise “bbq”. Even meh backyard bbq will put most franchise bbq to shame.
“Look at that juice!!”
Is the juice in the room with us now?
That shit so dry it looks like juice went down on the cutting board and then got sucked back up like a bounty paper towel commercial, LOL
Fire up your smoker and start selling plates .
Mmmmm Crock-Pot brisket
This made my day!
Looks like he’s cutting it **with** the grain too. What on earth.
So instead of going down the street and trying it for yourself you decided to ask a bunch of people who have never had it and never will because you don’t believe the people who have
Makes sense
Thats the most overcooked pile of steaming garbage I’ve ever seen someone try to pass off as brisket. I’d demand my money back if that’s what I was served.
He came in the brisket didn’t he
Looks like a good pot roast
What bark????
He doesn’t even know how to slice it correctly
did you taste it
Honestly, it just doesn’t look like it has a great smoke ring and it was a trimmed that aggressively. So realistically, if it’s nice and tender, it’ll probably still have a really good flavor. And if the smoke is not that intense, a lot of people like I know actually prefer slightly less smoke flavor. So I’m not surprised.
Trash…good for chili tho
The caption on the picture. I’m trying to fing the juice. That piece of meat is ready to become chili.
Is “the juice” in the room with us now?
Looks like it was injected with something. They’re probably tasting MSG or some other umami and forgiving the poor cooking method.
Bait
This is the most obviously AI written post I’ve ever read
But also have you tried the brisket? It looks like shit but you gotta try it man. For science
My brother in law says his college buddies dad owns a bbq joint and bakes his brisket with liquid smoke. Said there’s no difference and all that extra effort is a waste of time.
Not long ago he tried mine and let’s just say. His eyes and facial expressions told a different story. We haven’t talked about it since but I can promise his opinion has changed.
This is written like an AI post
there’s a brisket preparation method where you put it in a roasting pan with enough V8 that it literally bobs around in there with various ‘stew’ vegetables and cover and bake it for a long time – this looks like that
I served my extended family some absolutely killer brisket at a family party last year. They RAVED about it. I felt great.
A few months ago, that exact same family had a gathering where Walmart fried chicken was provided. It tasted like battered cardboard in burnt grease.
I heard some of those same family members commenting on how good the chicken was and that they are going to start getting their fried chicken from Walmart.
Moral of the story, the bar for good bbq is much much lower for people who don’t obsess over bbq.
This looks like the kind of brisket I’d fight someone for serving me, but obviously he’s got happy customers.