I’m trying to sober up I haven’t gone a week without alcohol in probably 15 years now, just turned 31 and wondering what to do honestly I feel like completely stopping would be a good thing. Curious to everyone else’s experience.
by Wall_Flashy
35 Comments
Different-Bag-8217
It was around that time I took a sous position at a pretty high end place. It was stressful but super rewarding. For some reason we all jumped onto the dry July bandwagon. That turned into 15 years… I still drink but only for special occasions. It definitely made a huge difference in my ability to deal with a high stress environment that we all find ourselves in. Replacing alcohol with drugs doesn’t count though..
Kennypoppa4242
The question you ask with the cartoon, I fucking snorted. Seriously though, it’s not easy. It’s such an assumed part of our culture. Having had some success with moderation, my best input is take a moment before saying yes to the shifty. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Also, when you do have that drink, in spite of what you told yourself. Stop being so mean to my cook friend. Grant yourself some grace. Comeback tomorrow and try again. Change is hard; no matter what it is your trying to change.
Voiceless-Echo
It’s difficult. Find something else to do and be careful cause eventually drinking will try to come back with a vengeance. I struggle with it still but it’s better than before. Just need to find a way to break the habit.
Striking-Valuable924
This is probably something you should talk to your doctor or a therapist about but beating addictions comes down to distracting yourself. Find ways to help you relieve stress that don’t involve ingesting some sort of substance. I quit nicotine recently and it would have been a nightmare if I didn’t have things to keep my mind and hands busy
BonerStew
Good luck dude. I was in a similar situation. Depends on what you drink, but my main thing was beer with an occasional shot. I started buying la croix instead of a twelver everyday. While it obviously wasn’t the same, I found the ritual of “cracking open a cold one” and chilling after work was enough of a placebo to trick my brain. I don’t think I’ve ever been more hydrated in my life.
GatoAmarillo
Quitting the industry was what got me permanently sober, but my last 6 months in the kitchen i sobered the fuck up before leaving.
I took time off to do it actually. Depends how much of an alcoholic you are, but quitting cold turkey gave me dreadful anxiety that lasted most of a week. I knew what dangerous symptoms to watch out for, I just didn’t think I was that heavily addicted yet. I regularly went through a handle every 2-3 days.
Depending how bad it is i can’t really recommend cold turkey, but that was the only way I’ve ever been successful quiting both alcohol and nicotine. Best of luck, I hope you get sober!
Automatic-Vacation82
You drink during the shift
FraeuleinSerpentine
Hey man I know what it’s like. Especially after a long ass stressful shift, turning the brain off to get to sleep is like, impossible. And drinking only makes it so much worse… Check out r/stopdrinking! Absolutely amazing sub that’ll alwaysssss be there for support. *Just celebrated 2 years alcohol free a couple weeks ago and honestly couldn’t have done it without thar community
orbitalenigma
I can’t speak for your personal situation since I don’t know you, but from what you’ve described it seems like you might low-key be an alcoholic.
This is not a statement made in judgement. Just an assessment of stated facts.
If you are serious about stopping your drinking (or even reducing your intake) I encourage you to speak to your doctor if possible.
Aside from professional help, think of the things you can do to help mitigate the urge to drink. Get rid of all the alcohol you have available to you, try to limit your ability to get more. Try to think of situations that make you want to drink. If you find that you are drinking, try to make a list of what triggered it. Knowing your triggers helps you avoid or prepare for them.
Find a replacement habit, preferably healthier. If you find yourself needing a drink go do something else. Play a game, watch a movie, go for a run, take a nap, etc. Try to build those habits which lean you away from drinking.
If possible, find someone you can trust to help keep you accountable. It can be a friend or a loved one if you don’t want to find a group (or vice versa if the idea of talking to strangers is more comforting).
Accept that you aren’t going to be perfect. Don’t let the fear or shame of “failing” prevent you from trying.
Be honest with yourself.
For what it’s worth, one stranger to another, I wish you the best.
Lucky-Enthusiasm255
So, same boat but, I was getting really bad with my drinking and it started to cause allot of problems with my husband and I had to sit myself down and think “Is alchohal really that great?” Now dont get me wrong, I still drink regularly BUT I just dont drink liquor and a max of 2 a night. Not saying this is what you should do but the i.portant thing is now I have rules to how much and when and what I can drink. Like I said its not perfect but its a start and every task is impossible if you dont start somewhere. You got this
And if all else fails you can switch to herb, its healthier and if your gonna have a vice at least that wont kill you lol.
WorkingCollection562
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” Thus I realized I had found what I looking for at the bottom of the bottle all along – sobriety.
I quit drinking. That was it. It took support and going to AA and talking to someone when I felt I needed to drink and talk me out of it but it worked and I’ve been sober for 2 years, 7 months. It’s not for everyone and I don’t preach it all the time; it works for me because I could not say no to one drink and after that first sip there was no stopping. Before quitting I would make any excuse to put it off to keep drinking. I’m still an alcoholic, I just don’t touch alcohol because I know the consequences or at least the road it leads me to. Ask for help if you can’t control it, it won’t get better if you don’t I promise you that.
clevercookie69
4 years sober on Sunday. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My food is so much better now and I’m a much better person too
yinyanguitar
Did this a year and a half ago.. it’s difficult since you feel like it’s the one gift to yourself after work and dropping it completely feels like losing a best friend. Just gotta take it day by day.. as a nightly drinker for 10 years, momentum was huge. By day 3 it’ll be MUCH easier. At least it was for me.
jay6432
A lot of people find quit literature helpful, there are meetings either in person or online, there’s a subreddit r/stopdrinking you could read through posts there / ask for advice there – there’s a number of different resources you could use to help motivate & encourage you.
I’ve been sober / quit drinking for almost 9 months now.
It’s really just as simple (and just as hard) as committing to not drink each and every day; and find other things to occupy your down time for that week. It’ll be an accomplishment and you’ll feel good about having done it. And then from there, see how you feel.
I’m not encouraging you to quit for good, it’s not my place. But for me personally, after quitting for a month – I liked the changes I saw… so I just kept it going and now I just don’t have any interest in going back to drinking.
So maybe consider taking a month off. A month without alcohol allows your body to reset a bit, and you’ll definitely notice and feel some differences & changes – in terms of quality of sleep, energy levels, etc.
Either way, good luck with all of it.
cleon80
I distinctly remember Gary Larson regretting that comic, especially with the hump. It was meant to portray a dog victoriously standing over the beast it finally managed to chased down.
No_Ebb6301
Swimming worked for me. Instead of drinking I’d go for just a gentle swim, it’s relaxing, stretches out your muscles and late at night I’m usually the only person around.
After 45 mins to an hour I’m not even in the mood to drink alcohol, just have something to eat and a drink then straight to bed
cliffibom
I have always been big into sports and bouldering is what keeps me sane in my free time. I’ve never had issues with alcohol alcohol consumption, but having a physical sport that I want to excel at definitely affects my desire to drink. Since I barely drink at all, it helps me notice how bad even minimal amounts of alcohol makes me feel the next day.
Dealing with addiction is one thing, but having a purpose, goals and hobbies that are hindered by alcohol could definitely help with keeping the bottle closed. All the best chef!
Mate if you haven’t gone a week without ale since 15 it’s not the job.
miketugboat
Figure out why you’re drinking after the shift and solve that problem. If you just try to stop drinking without addressing the why, you’re just going to be miserable about it.
I realized i was doing it to calm myself down and ease the physical pain a bit. Similar result as taking an advil, drinking some tea, and stretching.
I still drink for sure, but never at home. Went from beers all week to just a few one or two days a week.
It ain’t easy for sure, especially when we’ve made it such an ingrained habit.
Brief-Pair6391
I accepted the single fact that ethyl alcohol is toxic. That the addition of sugars and flavoring makes it palatable. If you truly value yourself and your health is of paramount importance to you in this existence you will quite naturally accept this. If i had the best quality, greatest vintage extra special recipe for some really strong arsenic, would you take a shot ? I’ll say less. Love and cherish yourself. We only get one shot at this. Why would you knowingly shorten your experience for a temporary high, a release from the pain of being human. No part of this is supposed to be easy, chill or numb
babble0n
Look up “Rational Recovery”. That’s what helped me out.
rambles_prosodically
I’m officially a month in today. I was drinking everyday and most of the weekends, at least. I had been trying to stop on my own multiple times and had really noticed it becoming beyond by control in the earlier part of ‘24 (although I’d struggled a lot in the past and even got sober for over a year between 2021-2022 before deciding to try again). It was eroding my life circumstances and creating scares in just about every category of my life (health, job, relationship, could’ve easily been a legal concern too) and finally decided enough was enough.
Got into AA to have the community and accountability and it really works for me. Just going to meetings and being able to commiserate when I’m tempted is awesome. Also helps to talk about the stresses that trigger it since most who drink can relate. The 12 steps also help engage with the deeper things that can affect or trigger drinking. Up to you to determine what extent you want to engage with a resource like that, but what’s great is you can set the scale. It makes sense for me bc after years of trial and error with alcohol I’ve decided to consider it a permanent decision to be sober. Oh and r/stopdrinking has been mentioned and is a great way to get similar support on social if you want to do things more online.
Also! Alcohol alternatives are great. Sobriety has become a lot more popular societally and that comes with some advantages, like they have a lot of drinks now you can get at most grocery stores that have adaptogens (stress reducing compounds) and other calming stuff in them. Not addicting/intoxicating and they really do work! You can usually find them in the NA sections of the liquor dept or by where they keep all the granola health drinks like Kombucha and such. NA beers are a thing too and found that if I’m at a place with drinking going on or what not they can give me the psychological fix without actually being the real thing. They’re a trigger for some though so would gauge that one on how it affects you.
Anyhow, all the best of luck, and most of all you’re not alone in dealing with this.
One thing I always keep in mind that helps motivate me – basically everyone who makes the decision to get sober for good and has been for a while says the same thing – it was the best decision they’ve ever made.
Antique-Definition-6
Career (18 years) FOH guy here. I drank for most of my career but kicked it 15 months ago. It’s a wild industry we work in. How many accountants go to work and are offered shots before they pull out calculators? Our profession encourages drinking – to know the product, to deal with a hard shift, to bond with others, etc. It could be fun doing 30 wine/liquor tastings before work but drinking all the time made it a problem (I live in a tourist town where drinking is abundant). Lots of fun at the time but it got way too much for me.
I had to have a serious appraisal of my behavior as things were getting bad. I came a point where I was desperate for change. I no longer felt I had to get sober but rather I wanted to get sober. I wanted it at any cost. I do what I do in any other part of my life and looked for successful people and modeled their behavior and it has worked. I do what the pros say and it makes it rather easy.
Quitting booze has been the single best decision I have ever made. I make better choices (only bad stuff happens at 2am), hang out with better people, lost weight (70 lbs and still going), women hit on me now (not used to it), and I get more clarity with each day.
It’s normal at my work now. Everyone knows I don’t drink and no one cares. I taste liquor for sales knowledge (and spit it out) and I make recommendations on booze with guests and no one has a clue.
Alcohol and drug abuse are far too normalized in restaurants. It does some real damage.
I wish you all the best and nice job for asking the question. Only you know what is best for you.
Jungies
[Here’s an article from The Atlantic on various methods of quitting drinking, and the scientific evidence behind them.](https://archive.md/FyOCJ)
(That’s a copy, because on the website they want you to pay to read it.)
Freezytrees99
4 years no drink here, Cali sober is the way for me. Shrooms twice a year for when I wanna really kick back.
Still bartend every day of the week, I think of it as my superpower, which is pretty crazy considering I figured when I was in your shoes I’d be white knuckling it forever.
In conversation with regs I strangely even find myself defending alcohol, it’s a substance we’ve essentially co-evolved with that’s basically forged most of my strongest friendships and I’m not sure I’d have met my partner without it, but it’s important to look at your life and reassess what you need NOW, not just repeating what you needed 10 years ago.
Word salad but when I finally grasped this it all clicked. One day at a time.
mycatisnamedemmie
I started drinking LaCroix after work when my friends were drinking beers and mixed drinks
313802
How? HOW: honesty, open mindedness, willingness… and one day at a time.
Find some AA buddies. They’ll help you.
You_suck_at_cooking
Yo,
AA as a whole isn’t for everyone, but meetings & AA hangs can definitely take the place of the thing to do after work until your body learns to unwind without alcohol.
There are good bits of wisdom to be gleaned from the program, regardless of your outlook on the program as a whole, and you will find it easier to be sober when you’re spending your time with like-minded people.
And if you look around a bit you’ll find the good meetings with all the young weirdos, atheists, and service industry folk. Doesn’t hurt to give it a shot.
dollarhax
My best buddy worked kitchens down a similar hole. We drifted apart by nature of adulthood.
Last hugged his jaundiced face in 2023 before he passed away from liver failure. He would have been 34 two weeks ago.
Idk take that as you will.
I’ve been sober roughly 2 years now. It takes lots of tries. Sometimes you get 2 days. Other ones 2 months before you only get 2 weeks again. Gotta just keep trying till it sticks.
Caffeinated_Radish
33 here, 17 years in the industry. I had to change my settings entirely. I got a day job managing production kitchens for upscale grocery stores. It isn’t sexy; but it’s a very stable schedule with minimal nights and weekends and that was enough of a shake up for me to quit drinking entirely.
That many years of shift drinks six nights a week coupled with being reinforced by other stressed and exhausted regular drinkers put me in a pretty strong habit. I just removed myself from that equation entirely.
Silvermane2
For me… It wasn’t a hard choice.
I love drink. Drink and I had many years together. Many grand times, many bad times. It was how I’d start and end every day.
As the years went on, I saw the damage it was doing to my body. I felt what drink was doing to my mind. When all that came to light, I started seeing what it was doing to others. How it was hurting not only me, but the people I loved.
I’m not fully sober these days. I’m still known to have the occasional meet up with my old friend drink. Only special times, though. Smoke plenty of grass
Moderation is key. So is having a future worth sticking around for. Idk.
Homie, it’s a good choice. It’s a good path to cut back.
guinnesssynd
Honestly…My wife asked me to not stop but tone it down. She didn’t want to upset me, but every time I came to bed and smelled like whiskey it triggered flash backs of her father. I didn’t realize that I had been hurting her for so long. I decided then and there that I was stopping. I still have a drink here and there but never to the level I used to.
nano8150
find healthier coping mechanisms
JohnQPublish
A habit is a hard thing to break. You can try to cut back, and see if that might work for you. If you can get your weekly number of drinks under 7 (ideally under 2), then your lifetime risk for liver disease, heart disease, and many cancers drops considerably.
If cutting back is not working, or you’re finding it hard to say ‘enough’ once you’ve started, or if it’s causing you distress or impacting your day to day functioning, consider looking at medications or dropping in on your local AA meeting. They can provide some clarity.
For me, oddly, it was when I started treating my depressing that my drinking came under control. They put me on wellbutrin, which sometimes helps with quitting smoking, but with alcohol its useful because it makes me very dizzy and restless if I do drink. That icky feeling helps me stay sober.
35 Comments
It was around that time I took a sous position at a pretty high end place. It was stressful but super rewarding. For some reason we all jumped onto the dry July bandwagon. That turned into 15 years… I still drink but only for special occasions. It definitely made a huge difference in my ability to deal with a high stress environment that we all find ourselves in. Replacing alcohol with drugs doesn’t count though..
The question you ask with the cartoon, I fucking snorted. Seriously though, it’s not easy. It’s such an assumed part of our culture. Having had some success with moderation, my best input is take a moment before saying yes to the shifty. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Also, when you do have that drink, in spite of what you told yourself. Stop being so mean to my cook friend. Grant yourself some grace. Comeback tomorrow and try again. Change is hard; no matter what it is your trying to change.
It’s difficult. Find something else to do and be careful cause eventually drinking will try to come back with a vengeance. I struggle with it still but it’s better than before. Just need to find a way to break the habit.
This is probably something you should talk to your doctor or a therapist about but beating addictions comes down to distracting yourself. Find ways to help you relieve stress that don’t involve ingesting some sort of substance. I quit nicotine recently and it would have been a nightmare if I didn’t have things to keep my mind and hands busy
Good luck dude. I was in a similar situation. Depends on what you drink, but my main thing was beer with an occasional shot. I started buying la croix instead of a twelver everyday. While it obviously wasn’t the same, I found the ritual of “cracking open a cold one” and chilling after work was enough of a placebo to trick my brain. I don’t think I’ve ever been more hydrated in my life.
Quitting the industry was what got me permanently sober, but my last 6 months in the kitchen i sobered the fuck up before leaving.
I took time off to do it actually. Depends how much of an alcoholic you are, but quitting cold turkey gave me dreadful anxiety that lasted most of a week. I knew what dangerous symptoms to watch out for, I just didn’t think I was that heavily addicted yet. I regularly went through a handle every 2-3 days.
Depending how bad it is i can’t really recommend cold turkey, but that was the only way I’ve ever been successful quiting both alcohol and nicotine. Best of luck, I hope you get sober!
You drink during the shift
Hey man I know what it’s like. Especially after a long ass stressful shift, turning the brain off to get to sleep is like, impossible. And drinking only makes it so much worse… Check out r/stopdrinking! Absolutely amazing sub that’ll alwaysssss be there for support. *Just celebrated 2 years alcohol free a couple weeks ago and honestly couldn’t have done it without thar community
I can’t speak for your personal situation since I don’t know you, but from what you’ve described it seems like you might low-key be an alcoholic.
This is not a statement made in judgement. Just an assessment of stated facts.
If you are serious about stopping your drinking (or even reducing your intake) I encourage you to speak to your doctor if possible.
Aside from professional help, think of the things you can do to help mitigate the urge to drink. Get rid of all the alcohol you have available to you, try to limit your ability to get more. Try to think of situations that make you want to drink. If you find that you are drinking, try to make a list of what triggered it. Knowing your triggers helps you avoid or prepare for them.
Find a replacement habit, preferably healthier. If you find yourself needing a drink go do something else. Play a game, watch a movie, go for a run, take a nap, etc. Try to build those habits which lean you away from drinking.
If possible, find someone you can trust to help keep you accountable. It can be a friend or a loved one if you don’t want to find a group (or vice versa if the idea of talking to strangers is more comforting).
Accept that you aren’t going to be perfect. Don’t let the fear or shame of “failing” prevent you from trying.
Be honest with yourself.
For what it’s worth, one stranger to another, I wish you the best.
So, same boat but, I was getting really bad with my drinking and it started to cause allot of problems with my husband and I had to sit myself down and think “Is alchohal really that great?” Now dont get me wrong, I still drink regularly BUT I just dont drink liquor and a max of 2 a night. Not saying this is what you should do but the i.portant thing is now I have rules to how much and when and what I can drink. Like I said its not perfect but its a start and every task is impossible if you dont start somewhere. You got this
And if all else fails you can switch to herb, its healthier and if your gonna have a vice at least that wont kill you lol.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” Thus I realized I had found what I looking for at the bottom of the bottle all along – sobriety.
I quit drinking. That was it. It took support and going to AA and talking to someone when I felt I needed to drink and talk me out of it but it worked and I’ve been sober for 2 years, 7 months. It’s not for everyone and I don’t preach it all the time; it works for me because I could not say no to one drink and after that first sip there was no stopping. Before quitting I would make any excuse to put it off to keep drinking. I’m still an alcoholic, I just don’t touch alcohol because I know the consequences or at least the road it leads me to. Ask for help if you can’t control it, it won’t get better if you don’t I promise you that.
4 years sober on Sunday. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My food is so much better now and I’m a much better person too
Did this a year and a half ago.. it’s difficult since you feel like it’s the one gift to yourself after work and dropping it completely feels like losing a best friend. Just gotta take it day by day.. as a nightly drinker for 10 years, momentum was huge. By day 3 it’ll be MUCH easier. At least it was for me.
A lot of people find quit literature helpful, there are meetings either in person or online, there’s a subreddit r/stopdrinking you could read through posts there / ask for advice there – there’s a number of different resources you could use to help motivate & encourage you.
I’ve been sober / quit drinking for almost 9 months now.
It’s really just as simple (and just as hard) as committing to not drink each and every day; and find other things to occupy your down time for that week. It’ll be an accomplishment and you’ll feel good about having done it. And then from there, see how you feel.
I’m not encouraging you to quit for good, it’s not my place. But for me personally, after quitting for a month – I liked the changes I saw… so I just kept it going and now I just don’t have any interest in going back to drinking.
So maybe consider taking a month off. A month without alcohol allows your body to reset a bit, and you’ll definitely notice and feel some differences & changes – in terms of quality of sleep, energy levels, etc.
Either way, good luck with all of it.
I distinctly remember Gary Larson regretting that comic, especially with the hump. It was meant to portray a dog victoriously standing over the beast it finally managed to chased down.
Swimming worked for me. Instead of drinking I’d go for just a gentle swim, it’s relaxing, stretches out your muscles and late at night I’m usually the only person around.
After 45 mins to an hour I’m not even in the mood to drink alcohol, just have something to eat and a drink then straight to bed
I have always been big into sports and bouldering is what keeps me sane in my free time.
I’ve never had issues with alcohol alcohol consumption, but having a physical sport that I want to excel at definitely affects my desire to drink.
Since I barely drink at all, it helps me notice how bad even minimal amounts of alcohol makes me feel the next day.
Dealing with addiction is one thing, but having a purpose, goals and hobbies that are hindered by alcohol could definitely help with keeping the bottle closed. All the best chef!
I didn’t quit I got fired
https://preview.redd.it/mci4vcishkog1.jpeg?width=2455&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77ca1bf5c5d6e2115fcdf8584fc611ac36dc59df
Mate if you haven’t gone a week without ale since 15 it’s not the job.
Figure out why you’re drinking after the shift and solve that problem. If you just try to stop drinking without addressing the why, you’re just going to be miserable about it.
I realized i was doing it to calm myself down and ease the physical pain a bit. Similar result as taking an advil, drinking some tea, and stretching.
I still drink for sure, but never at home. Went from beers all week to just a few one or two days a week.
It ain’t easy for sure, especially when we’ve made it such an ingrained habit.
I accepted the single fact that ethyl alcohol is toxic. That the addition of sugars and flavoring makes it palatable. If you truly value yourself and your health is of paramount importance to you in this existence you will quite naturally accept this.
If i had the best quality, greatest vintage extra special recipe for some really strong arsenic, would you take a shot ?
I’ll say less.
Love and cherish yourself. We only get one shot at this. Why would you knowingly shorten your experience for a temporary high, a release from the pain of being human. No part of this is supposed to be easy, chill or numb
Look up “Rational Recovery”. That’s what helped me out.
I’m officially a month in today. I was drinking everyday and most of the weekends, at least. I had been trying to stop on my own multiple times and had really noticed it becoming beyond by control in the earlier part of ‘24 (although I’d struggled a lot in the past and even got sober for over a year between 2021-2022 before deciding to try again). It was eroding my life circumstances and creating scares in just about every category of my life (health, job, relationship, could’ve easily been a legal concern too) and finally decided enough was enough.
Got into AA to have the community and accountability and it really works for me. Just going to meetings and being able to commiserate when I’m tempted is awesome. Also helps to talk about the stresses that trigger it since most who drink can relate. The 12 steps also help engage with the deeper things that can affect or trigger drinking. Up to you to determine what extent you want to engage with a resource like that, but what’s great is you can set the scale. It makes sense for me bc after years of trial and error with alcohol I’ve decided to consider it a permanent decision to be sober. Oh and r/stopdrinking has been mentioned and is a great way to get similar support on social if you want to do things more online.
Also! Alcohol alternatives are great. Sobriety has become a lot more popular societally and that comes with some advantages, like they have a lot of drinks now you can get at most grocery stores that have adaptogens (stress reducing compounds) and other calming stuff in them. Not addicting/intoxicating and they really do work! You can usually find them in the NA sections of the liquor dept or by where they keep all the granola health drinks like Kombucha and such. NA beers are a thing too and found that if I’m at a place with drinking going on or what not they can give me the psychological fix without actually being the real thing. They’re a trigger for some though so would gauge that one on how it affects you.
Anyhow, all the best of luck, and most of all you’re not alone in dealing with this.
One thing I always keep in mind that helps motivate me – basically everyone who makes the decision to get sober for good and has been for a while says the same thing – it was the best decision they’ve ever made.
Career (18 years) FOH guy here. I drank for most of my career but kicked it 15 months ago. It’s a wild industry we work in. How many accountants go to work and are offered shots before they pull out calculators? Our profession encourages drinking – to know the product, to deal with a hard shift, to bond with others, etc. It could be fun doing 30 wine/liquor tastings before work but drinking all the time made it a problem (I live in a tourist town where drinking is abundant). Lots of fun at the time but it got way too much for me.
I had to have a serious appraisal of my behavior as things were getting bad. I came a point where I was desperate for change. I no longer felt I had to get sober but rather I wanted to get sober. I wanted it at any cost. I do what I do in any other part of my life and looked for successful people and modeled their behavior and it has worked. I do what the pros say and it makes it rather easy.
Quitting booze has been the single best decision I have ever made. I make better choices (only bad stuff happens at 2am), hang out with better people, lost weight (70 lbs and still going), women hit on me now (not used to it), and I get more clarity with each day.
It’s normal at my work now. Everyone knows I don’t drink and no one cares. I taste liquor for sales knowledge (and spit it out) and I make recommendations on booze with guests and no one has a clue.
Alcohol and drug abuse are far too normalized in restaurants. It does some real damage.
I wish you all the best and nice job for asking the question. Only you know what is best for you.
[Here’s an article from The Atlantic on various methods of quitting drinking, and the scientific evidence behind them.](https://archive.md/FyOCJ)
(That’s a copy, because on the website they want you to pay to read it.)
4 years no drink here, Cali sober is the way for me. Shrooms twice a year for when I wanna really kick back.
Still bartend every day of the week, I think of it as my superpower, which is pretty crazy considering I figured when I was in your shoes I’d be white knuckling it forever.
In conversation with regs I strangely even find myself defending alcohol, it’s a substance we’ve essentially co-evolved with that’s basically forged most of my strongest friendships and I’m not sure I’d have met my partner without it, but it’s important to look at your life and reassess what you need NOW, not just repeating what you needed 10 years ago.
Word salad but when I finally grasped this it all clicked. One day at a time.
I started drinking LaCroix after work when my friends were drinking beers and mixed drinks
How? HOW: honesty, open mindedness, willingness… and one day at a time.
Find some AA buddies. They’ll help you.
Yo,
AA as a whole isn’t for everyone, but meetings & AA hangs can definitely take the place of the thing to do after work until your body learns to unwind without alcohol.
There are good bits of wisdom to be gleaned from the program, regardless of your outlook on the program as a whole, and you will find it easier to be sober when you’re spending your time with like-minded people.
And if you look around a bit you’ll find the good meetings with all the young weirdos, atheists, and service industry folk. Doesn’t hurt to give it a shot.
My best buddy worked kitchens down a similar hole. We drifted apart by nature of adulthood.
Last hugged his jaundiced face in 2023 before he passed away from liver failure. He would have been 34 two weeks ago.
Idk take that as you will.
I’ve been sober roughly 2 years now. It takes lots of tries. Sometimes you get 2 days. Other ones 2 months before you only get 2 weeks again. Gotta just keep trying till it sticks.
33 here, 17 years in the industry. I had to change my settings entirely. I got a day job managing production kitchens for upscale grocery stores. It isn’t sexy; but it’s a very stable schedule with minimal nights and weekends and that was enough of a shake up for me to quit drinking entirely.
That many years of shift drinks six nights a week coupled with being reinforced by other stressed and exhausted regular drinkers put me in a pretty strong habit. I just removed myself from that equation entirely.
For me… It wasn’t a hard choice.
I love drink. Drink and I had many years together. Many grand times, many bad times. It was how I’d start and end every day.
As the years went on, I saw the damage it was doing to my body. I felt what drink was doing to my mind. When all that came to light, I started seeing what it was doing to others. How it was hurting not only me, but the people I loved.
I’m not fully sober these days. I’m still known to have the occasional meet up with my old friend drink. Only special times, though. Smoke plenty of grass
Moderation is key.
So is having a future worth sticking around for.
Idk.
Homie, it’s a good choice. It’s a good path to cut back.
Honestly…My wife asked me to not stop but tone it down. She didn’t want to upset me, but every time I came to bed and smelled like whiskey it triggered flash backs of her father. I didn’t realize that I had been hurting her for so long. I decided then and there that I was stopping. I still have a drink here and there but never to the level I used to.
find healthier coping mechanisms
A habit is a hard thing to break. You can try to cut back, and see if that might work for you. If you can get your weekly number of drinks under 7 (ideally under 2), then your lifetime risk for liver disease, heart disease, and many cancers drops considerably.
If cutting back is not working, or you’re finding it hard to say ‘enough’ once you’ve started, or if it’s causing you distress or impacting your day to day functioning, consider looking at medications or dropping in on your local AA meeting. They can provide some clarity.
For me, oddly, it was when I started treating my depressing that my drinking came under control. They put me on wellbutrin, which sometimes helps with quitting smoking, but with alcohol its useful because it makes me very dizzy and restless if I do drink. That icky feeling helps me stay sober.