A DAY IN MY LIFE…HIGHS, LOWS, (LITERALLY) THE GOOD, THE D WORD, GRATEFUL THROUGH IT ALL. QUOTE!

Hey everyone welcome back to an episode of create with Linda it is Friday guys and it’s around 1:35 I just got home I had to run out to Jenny’s to her group home and pick up her stuff cuz she’s going to be sleeping over tonight and I

Had to pick up her medicine and stuff cuz they can’t send her medicine in her book bag with her to program so I had to do that thank God I have my son I had my son’s car my son is still away he said I

Can borrow his car so what a what a godsent um yeah so um anyway I just got home I feel like crap because this morning I woke up and I had a low my sugar was like 50 or 60 something like that and let me tell you something when

That happens it just knocks me out for the day I just feel crappy so I feel a little bit better than I did this morning I’m not as weak and everything and I have some energy but oh I feel like [ __ ] I really do but

Anyway I ran quick since I had the car I ran to hanford’s and I got the chicken wings that were on sale for the Super Bowl because I wasn’t paying no $3.99 $4.99 a pound at Shop Right whatever it was it was expensive and um I knew that

At hanford’s by where Julie lives and by where Jenny lives they had them $199 a couple of weeks ago and I never got them but the guy said um The Butcher said that that they were going to be on sale until up until the Super Bowl so I

Went guys I’m going show you so excited and I came home because I’m I’m hungry I um and so I I put in those um those two uh Apple uh sweet sausage that I had yesterday oh my God those things are so good I’m going to look at Walmart I hope

They have them I’m going to buy three I’m going to buy more if not I have to go to shop right anyway cuz I have to bring my receipt cuz I forgot a $10 off coupon yesterday when I was there so I want to bring bring that in and get my $10 cuz

You got to get your $10 guys God $10 off oh yeah I’m going to have to do that so if they don’t have them at Walmart I’m going running in there and I am going to get them there because they are amazing they if I can tell you how good they are

You have no idea anyway I needed another head fresh head of broccoli I just was eating yesterday and I was just like oh I really love this and I think raw broccoli um for some reason doesn’t bother my stomach but cooked broccoli does so I don’t care I love dipping this

In ranch or whatever really really good so I they had this on sale so I got I not a crown of broccoli these were on the end cap I really like kind of closed my eyes and just didn’t really look at everything because I was like I can’t I can’t I

Can’t I can’t I can’t because there’s so many things that are inticing that are on sale I said I can’t I can’t findy any more here cuz I got to get stuff at Walmart so I can’t but they had these on the end cap and they were only 65 cents

And I needed a couple cans of these cuz I used them a couple weeks ago so I got two cans of the creamy mushroom and one can of the of the chicken chicken cream that’s it here we go $1.99 a pound here we go guys so I got three packages

Which this is 4 lb this is another 4 lb eight and this is probably 4B too cuz that’s around the same price this is a little bit over this is like almost 5 lbs so almost 13 lbs of chicken wings for 8 162 well yeah 8 1624 about $25

$26 I’m so excited because I never buy chicken rings only when they’re on sale I I can’t I just can’t afford them they’re just too crazy and so super want them so I’ll probably make one package maybe one and a half rest I’ll save freeze I’m

Excited so yeah so Jenny’s going to be here in about an hour an hour or two and um soon as she comes here we got to do her nails I got to do her hair I have no idea what I’m doing with her hair Julie usually does it but she can’t

Comes cuz she’s working so I’m just going to put it up and some I have this little pretty thing I’ll put her hair up in that somehow she doesn’t like makeup so that’s that so I’m going to show you how dress before she gets it on I feel like crap I feel like

Crap my sides are killing me I’m I’m just a mess my S are killing me from yesterday look at how pretty is that so pretty now I’m going to tell you what happened so we got this just for free because nature shine at the Goodwill where they’re having

It they have they donate dresses and stuff last year we got a dress too and this year we got a dress and it’s free all free you get the piig jewelryy and pocket books and all that so it’s free which is perfect for us cuz we need it free we need a

Free one year I think I went to the Goodwill and got her a dress beautiful dresses over there too they have very nice stuff there you know so yeah so here’s her dress and you could see so pretty right she saw this she was like oh my God Mom she tried one other

One she’s like no this is a dress it’s Jenny it’s sparkly it’s it’s amazing so one second let me just shake these up and um so I noticed that when she put it on it was very long and I’m like oh God like it’s it’s long you know I don’t I

Don’t know like it was it was so long that she was tripping over it so when I got her home I tried it on again I’m like oh man this is not good so I’m going to have to get it hem well this was like two weeks

Ago I was like there was no way of me getting Jenny and getting over there and get get into the cleaners and so me and Julie looked at it and we put Julie put like a clip on it saying where she thought it would be good you know to him

Because we had no clue we just guessed so I brought it to the cleaners and I said to the lady can you hand this she’s like oh the girl’s not here I said no I can’t oh okay I’ll do my best I’ll do I’ll do what you say you so she hemmed

It and it’s going to be when she gets home we’ll see if it fits her she took a good probably two Ines off I don’t know she did a really really good job and let’s just hope it fits her I don’t care if it’s a little short I went

On tripping myself we went on the shorter side just in case because I’d rather it be a little short than than than than too long so um I I think it’s going to be good I hope it’s going to be good otherwise guess what she’s going to

Be holding it while she boogies she’s going to be holding it up so when she comes home and we put it on her I’ll let you guys see it I’m sure she’ll be okay with that we I’ll ask her make sure but uh yeah so so

Excited I’m just going to go hang it up in the bedroom so yeah I I really I really have stuff to do but I just I don’t feel like doing anything I got to take motion cuz my head hurts a little bit I just feel like

Crap I really do I feel like crap but I got a function today so got a function all right those those should be done in a couple of minutes they take like I literally 10 minutes in the um in the in the air fryer 10 minutes guys so good

Um so yeah uh husband’s working today he probably won’t be home till after 7 so he’ll probably be beat me home but Jenny’s girlfriend her mom who I’m friends with who I know is picking us up to take us because Jenny was going to go with her group home um girls but there

Was no way me getting over there really actually I could have now that my son’s car is here I could have but anyway so we’re going to go with her and then she’s going to come home then she’s going to drive us back home and we’re

Going to um Jenny’s going to sleep over and then tomorrow we’re going to go to Walmart together and take her out for a little fast food bite to eat and then bring her back home yeah spend a little time with her um yeah I got to get a drink cuz I haven’t

Drank anything too and I think that’s a lot of it too thirsty you know love broccoli by itself I’m going to have some clothes with my saage or you just go put these cans in the can all right guys let’s get some COA out I took it out

Already I never had any of this last night you guys saw I made it I’m hoping it’s going to be really good since this was sitting all night let’s check it out somebody said to put some dill in I never thought of that I think I’m going

To try a little Dill in here and I did put um who was somebody was asking me if I put if I put the um the celery seed yes I did put the Cel seed I even put extra it’s good but you know what I want to

Try something that D in there I feel like it needs something I just don’t know I think it needs a little something I think Dill’s going to do it I really do fresh dill cuz I have some the pickles that I got to get done today before the day is out

Because Jenny needs pickles at home let’s put some dill in here and see what we take I think I need a little salt more salt too but that’s just me ever since Co my my taste buds are just not the same comment down below if

You guys had Co and you feel the same way God it took forever for my for my taste buds to come back back and then it just like has not been the same since Co I think it’s a little dry too like I feel like it it might need some more

Sauce I don’t know I don’t know I’m not going to keep criteria critic word it’s really good but I’m going to put more dill and those those sausages are definitely done you get them out of there Perfection look at that guys look at that yum oh more celery SE all right I’m sorry guys all right let’s give myself some COA some sausage I’m going to dip some um my sausage and some sweet sour Sauce so good hot M so good here’s my lunch guys Koopa staring at me ow it’s hot I can’t get over how delicious it is I’m not even kidding not even kidding how good this is I don’t feel good kopy the chcken is going to have to go downstairs

Yeah no way I can f in my no way in heck can I fit them in this in this refrigerator I like the I like the dill in it I’m going to start using more Dill because you know why I buy this big thing a deal in the

Store and I have to buy the big thing because I don’t let you buy smaller and the small one in the little thing it’s too small so I always take take half of it and stick it in my freezer and then it just sits in there I hardly use it but

I’m going to start putting Dill into my dishes more never really don’t unless the recipe calls for it I don’t really use dill I got to get a drink um look what Cooper did did he went over he was wrestling around playing with his toy he took his food

Bowl and he poured it with his porw and he knocked it over and now he’s eating it off the floor what is that about Mister what’ you do now he what he’s going to do is he’s going to eat it all the flo so I’m just

Going to leave it there until he eats it guys really what are you doing look look look look see what he’s going to do now you’re spoiled brat you really are a spoiled brat let me move some of the food over to him why don’t you

Just that’s a be a boy why why did you do that he’s so lazy that he literally lays down to eat look at him he lays down to eat that’s a lazy bum guys I don’t feel good I’m going to have to go take to motion I think cuz it’s 2:00 and not

Good 2:00 dad’s going to be walking in the door by 3 yeah what are you doing h I going to eaten away he had his food this morning he usually gets hungry around this time he eats a little bit poopy yep he’s eating his kibble he loves his kibble still he loves his kibble doesn’t he but he loves the other food too he really loves the other

Food I need chocolate I don’t have any chocolate the only thing I have is a chocolate donut and that’s not going to go over well especially that I got to go out I can’t have the dword while I’m out guys oh my goodness I love when you crunching I love the crunch

He’s funny isn’t he he really is funny guys but he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute all right I’m going to pause a minute because I got to go get something I motion and something else here she is the Jennifer guys we just did her nails look how

Pretty no you didn’t I you did it put your hand on top of my yeah top of my all right let’s see guys look how pretty oh got something on your hand here look how pretty see the Sparkles and that glowy thing and the glowy thing

We put on the glowy thing right there show her so now she’s just going to let it hi everybody hi everybody I’m back he’s back and Cooper is right behind Mommy right now I’m just letting you guys know and my dress is in mommy’s closet right mom your my dress is in

Your closet yeah and that’s it that’s it we’re going to let this dry and then we’re going to um we have about two hours but but we’re going to let this dry and then I’m going to do her hair soon and then we’ll get dressed and we’ll be leaving in by 5

Yeah because Jay’s my friend Jay’s mother is picking us up and I’m going to look so beautiful she’s going to look so beautiful and my other friends can I tell them mom my other friends are going tonight to shine too but they’re going to go in the one where I might go to

Progam it w work is that that I said that yeah that’s the one that my other friends are going yeah they have two places now where they do the night to shine because it’s so it’s so popular now and I think next year they’re going to actually have three places because

Wait three places yeah because it’s so it’s so popular now that they’re that’s weed I’m going to keep going this This Night To Shine because it’s so much fun yeah she has a prom every year L do oh and the both they’re going to have a I’m

Not doing bis then I’m going you are yeah I want to go cuz Lorie said she’s going to go I want to go L to do I’m going right well you can wear you have a lot of dresses to wear wear this dress and you can wear your your your your Made of

Honor dress oh way I’m not wearing that yeah what that’s a beautiful dress I know it’s a beautiful dance but has like that using your slip no no it’s not spit don’t put your nails put your nails back up here it has what no nothing it’s fine I just it’s like

I’m only wear it once that dress for Julie’s wedding I wish they had it like wish we had go to more places party dress party places to go to you want to go on pottying I’m not done going to parties like dances and stuff like that I want

To go to Dan I know you going go to dance until you’re 85 hey till we go into a dance till she’s 85 literally no don’t listen to her it’s not true why but that’s okay it’s not true and my b m can I just tell them tell them

What her birthday is my birthday is coming up is her birthday’s coming up oh let me go herey everyone I’m back we took Jenny to the night to shine guys it was awesome for her it was great but for me it was a disaster and you want to know why

They had food you know they had people donate like restaurants and stuff donate to this to the to this um event if you ever want to go on and go on and check it out it’s Tim TBO you know the football player Tim tbo’s organization he does a night to shine

Actually this was his 10th year doing it where all over the country they do these these balls for people with disabilities okay and they they go all out they have a limo that they they let them go on the limo and they drive around they take pictures it’s just like their it’s their

Night to shine okay and he is the founder of it if you ever want it if you’re ever interested in going if you never heard of it or you want to hear talk read about it go to Tim tbo’s night to shine it’s amazing guys it’s amazing

Anyway so they have they have it at a church and and restaurants and and Pizzeria and Chinese and they all donate food so they have food for the parents meatballs and baz ziti and sausage and peppers and um egg rolls and fried rice and tacos and French fries and just all

Kinds of delicious food coold Flor salad you know so I’m going to insert the picture I hope I remember cuz I’m so brain dead of my food I had a plate I had a meatball a little bit of zii just a tiny bit of like four things you know I had the

Turkey that was on the sandwich I need the bread or had hero you know so I’m sitting there and I’m chatting and chatting with the lady that I went with I me to my husband’s leftover Burger I’ll tell you and so we’re talking and she’s like she picks up her

Food and it’s a wing I’m like chicken wing where’d you get that I didn’t see that and she’s like oh yeah they’re over there I’m like oh my God I didn’t see it so I have a little bit more of my food oh I had some fruit I had some

Cantaloup little cold so I think I said and I was sitting there chatting and I’m okay you know I felt okay and then you know my stomach I don’t know I just I was I was full so I said you know what I’m going to stop eating

And then like 15 minutes later I sat there and it was okay I was all you know it was fine and um and the lady that I was with said I’m going to go get some more food and I’m like you know what I

Want those wings so I went we got up we went and I got a couple of wings a couple more pieces of fruit and that was it and I when I sat down I just felt I didn’t feel I felt kind of yucky again and so um then my

Stomach started hurting me and I should have know known right then I should have got up at that point cuz my stomach was kind of gurgling a little bit and I know the signs but I ignored the signs just thinking oh nothing will happen here because I’m at I’m at some place that

This cannot be happening right now okay I was not prepared for this to happen if you know what I mean all of a sudden I get a pain in my I get pains in my stomach and I’m like I look over to my friend and I said I got

To go to the bathroom I’m going to the bathroom she said okay the bathroom was from here was from here to probably that door right there maybe a little bit further well okay guys if you if you want to if TMI if this is TMI you need to leave the

Room now or pause this or or mute it but I said to her I got to go to the bathroom I got up and let’s just say there was no making it to the bathroom okay now just think about what that means here I am a 58-year-old

Adult who could make it to the bathroom and it wasn’t number one okay you know what I mean the dword and the dword bad bad I got into the bathroom then when I get into the bathroom there was three stalls and every stall was

Taken all I needed to do is get into the bathroom stall and I couldn’t get into the bathroom stall then another lady comes in after me and she goes over to the doors and I pushed both of the doors but didn’t push the third one she pushes the third door

And it’s and there’s nobody in there there’s nobody in the bathroom me while I’m stand in there and I could have been in the bathroom but by then guys again TMI it was way too late it was done already it was done so I sat

There I sat there and all I I literally just started crying because I was like this is this is absolutely ridiculous so I called my husband and I said well I I text my husband and I said my husband had just gotten home from work and I

Said I don’t know what you’re going to do but you have to help me I I don’t know what to do you need to come it’s like 30 35 minutes away you know about it’s you know it’s not too far but I said I don’t know what you have to help

Me you have to help me you have to bring me pants and and and stuff because I cannot get off this pod that I’m sitting on what do you mean what happened I told him what happened so I was like well how am I first of all you got to understand

One thing about this about this night to shine it’s like Fort Knox they are strict every move that you make and that the and that the person makes and the guest you know the like Jenny they know every move that they make there’s a ticket for everything when they leave

This room they know where they’re going they’re it’s it’s like Fort Knox they don’t let you in unless you are with that person you have an an ID it’s like which is so great it’s amazing so Billy says to me well how am I going to get in there I

Says I don’t know just go to the freaking door tell the person that you need to give your wife something can they let you in and then I said you know what if they don’t let you in I I I said they they’re not going to let you in

There’s no way they’re going to let you in so and meanwhile I know we we know somebody who is in within the event it’s an old friend Billy’s uh father’s friend for knows Billy since he was a baby let’s put it that way so I said to him

Go go find the guy that that you know and he’s like I’m not doing that you know you know men they’re like you know I’m not doing that he didn’t want to be bothered so I said I don’t care what you got to do but go to the door and tell

Them that you need to give your wife something so he goes to the door and they’re like yes can we help you he’s like yes I’m sorry um I need to give this to my wife who’s up in stairs in the bathroom he goes can I just bring it up there her he

Goes no you’re not you’re not allowed in here you’re not allowed in here he’s like okay he goes but we can give it to her so she he’s like okay so they found a volunteer which I told my husband find a lady freaking volunteer cuz there’s

40,000 of them there’s so many of them it’s like it’s you know you know what it is guys it’s organized chaos everything is organized to the tea but it’s chaos busy crazy all people are it’s just crazy so he so he gives it to the guy

And the guy gives it to a lady and she brings it up to me thank God she was able to put the bag right under the store and I was able to take care of myself I sat there 45 minutes 45 minutes literally 45 minutes okay and I did what

I had to to do I took my clothes that I was wearing and I put them in the bag that my husband gave me and guess what I did with them I threw them right in the garbage there was no way I was taking them home number one not taking them outside of

The bathroom with me because of reasons that I’m not going to talk about anyway but I said there’s no way these are coming home there’s no way I’m not I’m not coming there’s no way these are coming home with me so I threw them out

Nice pair of pants that I had I had to throw them out and anyway so that was the story so oh in the meantime the lady that I was with I texted her and I said can you please do me a favor my husband’s on his way here with my

Clothes um Can when he comes could you just go to the front door and get them and then bring them up to me because they’re not going to let him in well she wasn’t looking at her phone she was koning with other people and she was talking with other

People and um she never saw my text so I when when I came out I was like I was gone like a half hour and she didn’t even like check on me she’s like I thought she’d be like Linda where are you you know and she didn’t even I got I

Got there her and I’m like I said I’m so I was in the bathroom I said did you get my text she’s like oh no I’m sorry I didn’t look at my phone I said oh okay cuz then I told her she’s like oh my God I’m so sorry I’m so

Sorry I’m like no it’s okay it wasn’t your fault but yeah so I was so that was the whole thing too but she she didn’t even know I was missing for like you know for half uh 45 45 minutes 45 minutes I was in the bathroom yeah 45 minutes so yeah

That was fun so guys I’ve been putting it off and I’ve been putting it off and I’ve been putting it off Monday morning I’m calling the surgeon and I’m going to make an appointment and I’m going to say if he doesn’t give me to do something

For this for this dword I can’t I can’t take it anymore because I I can’t live my life like this I I you know I can’t be afraid to go out and notat eat something or you know and it’s and it’s it’s it’s it’s not even like there’s

Warnings for it 95% of the time it’s it’s explosive I I hate to be like graphic like I hate to be graphic but this is the only way I can explain it 95% of the time it’s explosive and there’s no stopping it so if I go out I have to

Make sure I don’t eat certain things or I don’t um I don’t know I I I have to be very aware of what’s going on and and and and I wasn’t tonight and I I let it I let it go and boy was a disaster and it was

Really really upsetting it was really upsetting so you know supposedly my husband said somebody that had this had the sleeve um they had those the same issues and they went to the doctor and they gave medicine or something they got to give me something more than um than

Freaking am modium because am modium am modium H helps after the fact that ain’t going to do it I need something to be fixed here or something because I can’t go on with with I can’t and and you know what it’s not fair because like sometimes I lead

Like okay I’m a diabetic everybody knows right I’m a diabetic once’s a diabetic always a diabetic so the thing is too is that like I all the foods that I enjoy eating as a diabetic that are good for me like salad and fruits and stuff like that I can’t really eat anymore because

It gives me the freaking d word so that’s not fair number one so as a diabetic I can’t eat those foods and then I can’t eat other Foods because they affect my stomach in a different way so here I am I lost 135 lbs I’m still a freaking diabetic I can’t eat

Good goddamn really healthy food mostly I if I do I can’t leave my house I certainly can’t leave the bathroom I certainly cannot leave a room where there’s no bathroom and that’s just the facts and I’m not going to live like this so I don’t know they got to do

Something he’s got to do something so I’m going to I’m going to call Monday morning and I’m going to get an appointment and he better do something for me I don’t know or I’m going to piit a fit I don’t know something has to be done cuz I can’t live like this anymore

That was a nightmare a nightmare a nightmare a nightmare and I don’t want to leave my house I don’t want to I you know a lot of times when I go out in the mornings I I won’t eat because I’m so afraid that I’m going to have an attack

Or if I have a couple a half a cup of coffee sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn’t if I have salad sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn’t like enough already enough I didn’t sign up for this freaking [ __ ] I didn’t I didn’t sign up for this and I’m really mad I’m really

Really mad because it’s not fair that I have to live my life like this I lost the weight you know what I mean I I my I I solved so many other problems for my health and I can’t have a goddamn salad it’s not right water all right I

Started cutting pickles up guys because Jenny is here and she’s we’re going out in the early tomorrow and then we’re um we’re going shopping and going take her out for a b TI for lunch and then we’re going to go and drop her off back at

Home so she had a pickles so I said I have to get these pickles ready and all prepared so then in the morning I can just take them with us and she can take them home cuz I’m not going to be going back there you know for a little what

Whatever so yeah so um I’m cutting up some cucumbers on my avocado cutting board guys so excited I love it so I’m cutting up some pickles it’s it’s 11 o’clock at night I’m going to post this this is probably not going to be posted I don’t know

Till 1 2 o’clock in the morning you guys will get it when you get it sorry I don’t know what else just do because uh I’m going to just finish this video and uh figured I’d give you some give you some cutting directions yeah so I’m going to make

Some pickles but I have to look at the recipe again because my son’s telling me Oh they haven’t been as good as they usually are so I don’t know I’ve been doing it by by um by memory so maybe I’m forgetting something I got to go back and look at my

Recipe so I’ll do that in a minute but I’m going to um let me do the um the empathy quote as well I found a really really good one so yeah guys that was my night so you know TMI sorry about maybe it was too much information but you know I got

To tell you guys what’s going on in my life and I just I really something has to be done about it and today was like a crappy day I didn’t feel that great because you know I had the I had um the low this morning and it just knocked me

Out it knocked me down and then I went out chopping and stuff so you know so it was um it was not a great day but and then as on after the whole situation happened and I’m getting um I’m getting I I come out of bathroom and there was coffee and

I’m like oh God I have to have a little bit of coffee I’m craving something hot so I got a half a cup of coffee and I was drinking it and I was we were at the in the um because at this place there’s a they

Have a couple of there have rooms and the rooms have um windows so you can watch the whole Auditorium so all the parents and whoever’s there you know with with their people whatever um try to make sure this these are good um you could watch them and so we were

Watching them through the window and they were getting crowned and all that and so um we will leave that there was it was time for us to leave you know it was over and so I went to grab my coffee cuz I had it on the I put it on the couch

For a minute so I can grab my other stuff and I went to grab the coffee I picked it up the coffee dropped and fell smashed on the floor hit my leg my new clean pants that I just put on I was like you know what what a nightmare of a

Day I guess you just have days like that you know but you know what guys I’m grateful I’m grateful that I can have days like that because I heard so many stories you know H you know on just on YouTube itself I don’t know if anybody follows um Jenny Apple who used

To follow Jenny Apple well her husband does her is doing continuing her um her page Jenny apple and she um she died of lung cancer like I don’t know maybe three months ago maybe three months ago yeah December I think it was oh November December January yeah it was in

It was right before Thanksgiving and he had um you know he’s starting to have a lot of Firsts now where you know it’s their birthday like he it was his birthday it was his son’s birthday and like he’s having all these first now of of things that she’s not

Around for and because she knew she was going to die you know she knew that there was never going to be a cure that she would always her life would just was just going to be prolonged you know she knew that from the get-go and when it started getting really bad and nothing

Was working anymore and all the all the trials and the chemos and everything was not working she knew but anyway she knew a while but what she was doing was she was writing her kids cards you know for this birthday for that birthday for like when they get married when they have

Kids when they all these things that they’re all their these milestones that she’s not going to be here for and so he um the husband um came on and was doing a video and he was explaining he was showing what he did for the son’s birthday and

He made a cake and and Jenny was always the one that made the cakes and he she left him all the recipes and all the directions and everything and he remembered doing it with her and and everything and he was just like you know

He was he said and and he he made the cake and everything I’ll tell you a funny story about that too um he made the cake and it was so nice and all that and and then he had um he had he they were taking him out for dinner with the

Family whatever and and all this and he did all the stuff that that Jenny would have done he did that stuff because he he had to he said I had to be there for my son just like Jenny was there I wanted want everything to be the same

And she wanted everything to be the same she gave him in specific instructions do this do that you know and he really really she was so loving and caring and just wanted all these things for her family and so he’s no matter how hard it

Was he struggled but he did it and so what happened was he was he had to leave the house or he went into the car or he went I forget what happened where he was where oh yeah no the kids he had open Ellis his son he was eight and he had

Opened up all his gifts and there him and his younger daughter Winnie which is so cute Winnie is that aborable Winnie and him were playing in the living room with with Ellis’s new toys and Kyle said I had to leave the room he said I I just

Could not control my emotions he said and he said and I cry in front of them because I I know it’s healthy for them to be able to see my me crying and they cry and then we cry together and then and then we go on together and you know

He said it’s very important that they see those feelings and everything he goes but I didn’t want them I didn’t want to ruin his birthday and ruin the day and the time because they were having such a good time and I couldn’t do that to him he said I didn’t want to

Put it on him so I got up and I went in my bedroom I said I’ll be right back I have to go do something whatever he went in the bedroom and he came on video and he was balling his his eyes out go look at Jenny Apple um Kyle apple and you’ll

See but it was it was so pathetic and it was so so heartwarming and so so so sad like literally I was boiling my eyes out so so sad you know and he was just like I I just he goes I just and he was he

Was boiling like to the point where he was like you know when you had that cry that you just can’t even breathe and it was it was so hard to watch guys it was so hard to watch because you could feel his hurt and he’s like I just

Miss her I miss her and this Hit me hard I can’t I couldn’t believe like him cuz what happened was Ellis had read a card from his mother for his eth birthday because Jenny had written one for his eighth birthday a couple of months back

She said to him she said to Kyle I don’t know should I write an eighth birthday one for him I don’t know if I’m going to to be here and he said well uh I think you’re going to be here cuz they really didn’t think it was going to happen so

Quick I think you’re going to be here he goes but why don’t you just write it just just in case well like two months later she passed away so she he did write one so she he said when when Ellis read the card and Ellis is only eight so he

He read the card he’s like oh that’s so nice you know that was sweet and he like went on and did his thing or whatever and didn’t really have much emotions about it which kind of Kyle was glad he’s like you know I’m glad it was just

You know he goes I’m sure later on he’ll think about it or maybe in a couple of years he will have more emotions about it but I was glad in that moment it didn’t affect him so bad he said but me hearing those words I just lost it I

Lost it he goes and I had couldn’t control myself and he came in the bedroom and he was crying and he was talking to us and you know and just he he talked to us and he felt so much better and then you know he said it’s

Just something that you know he didn’t realize that would hit him so hard but these are things that are going to hit him at every everything like his birthday he said it was very difficult because Jenny’s the one that always did all the birthdays you know she she

Decorated the house she she made it special for everybody and and now he’s taking over that role and that’s all fine he doesn’t mind doing that he wants to do that but it’s devastating because he she’s not here you know it was just really it’s really it’s beautiful it’s telling it’s tragic

It’s so so so so so devastating and sad and um it just really and I’m talking about this because I’m thinking how how do I complain about my day I had the dword my day was so bad you know Jenny apple and other people who have lost their lives so young or whatever

Whatever ever you know can’t even have that issue because they’re not here anymore they can they’re not here with their little kids you know so I think to myself you know it makes me feel like you know how how I don’t feel like you know my my my problems aren’t something

My problem everybody’s problems are something everybody’s problems are something everybody everybody’s problems mean something and it doesn’t mean because somebody else had it worse than you or somebody else died or whatever your problems don’t mean anything or it doesn’t matter it does it does but seeing other people’s problems and and

Looking at other people’s lives that have had tragedies and tragic and all this other stuff you really get to appreciate what you have in a moldon moldan day with having the dword you know so so yeah so even though my my stuff is bad you know for me it’s still

Could be worse it still could be worse you know and so just um yeah rest in peace Jenny so sad so sad that she had a leave her kids anyway yeah so that’s another whole story but you know I just wanted to mention that and I’m going to read my

Quote now and then I’m going to probably end this video so I can get this up sometime tonight so sad really so sad okay compassion is the wish to see others free from suffering let our hearts be stretched out in compassion toward others for everyone is walking

His or own his or her own difficult path we are all different don’t judge understand instead is that amazing I love that I love it again again again compassion is the wish to see others free from suffering let our hearts be stretched out in compassion toward others for

Everyone is walking his or own his or her own difficult path we are all different don’t judge understand instead guys I love that I love that I am literally putting this on the community board I’m definitely going to put this on the community board that is beautiful that is so meaningful

And so so true one more time I’m very sorry I hope this doesn’t you know offend anybody or or whatever if it’s too much but I’m going to read it again and it’s my channel and I can do what I want so here we go compassion is the

Wish to see others free from suffering let our hearts be stretched out in compassion towards others for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path we are all different we are all different don’t judge understand instead that’s amazing amazing don’t judge guys understand instead okay I hope you guys enjoyed this

Video I know it’s kind of this or that tonight today but I’m just giving you what I can give you today tomorrow we start back kind of some normaly hopefully I’ll feel better hopefully everyone have a low hopefully it’ll be a good day so let’s wish everybody a good day tomorrow

I hope everybody’s doing well I pray for all of you don’t forget to hit that subscribers button because when you subscribe it really does help my channel grow don’t forget to hit the notification button with that Bell so you guys can be notified every time I upload a new video like and share

Comment down below don’t freak and I um thank you so much for coming into my life into my kitchen into my home and creating with me guys I love all of you don’t forget be kind make good choices and um don’t forget to be compassionate

All right guys love you I’ll see you on the next one bye there she is guys look how pretty go back further go stand more back in the corner there yeah oh my goodness look how pretty she looks turn around oh oh isn’t that dress beautiful guys look at

Her so gorgeous they it the cleaners did it perfectly look perfect length guys perfect let’s let’s show closeup of you turn around of your necklace look how pretty her neck they still her necklaces and her earrings let’s show your earring and her bracelet let’s show you ear and

Purse I have the purse come here and a purse yeah just I want to show them just let me show I don’t like behind my ears how pretty she got a little lipstick on and her hair put your head down so I can see your hair not pretty guys I did her hair

Thank you very much yeah but Julie always do it sometimes well Julie’s not here nice right she’s all excited and show her them the purse I have and where’s there’s the purse her phone doesn’t fit in it so she’s not happy but what are you going to do I

Just have to carry everywhere and have to dance you be careful you don’t lose it I’m not going to lose it so now we’re just waiting we’re leaving going leave in about 15 minutes so she’ll put her coat on over her um dress when it’s time

And yeah guys that’s it so um I’m going to probably um you know I’m not doing the what’s for dinner obviously so um I might um I’ll video when I get home a little bit and I’ll do my um I’ll do my um empathy quote um all right so yeah

That’s why I did just a little vlog today so we can have a little something up and then we’ll resume back tomorrow with all the normal all right guys mom you’re yarning I’m tired guys I feel a little bit than I did before but I still don’t feel all great

Poopy there you go cutie pie J just text bye