Keeping the circlejerk rolling: Is this what I deserve for drinking one of this sub’s most despised wines?

Color: Color was a beautiful, deep red. Somewhere around a ruby or garnet.

Tannin: Despite the medium-low to low tannin you might expect in pinot, I thought this one was a bit higher on that scale. But maybe I was still recovering from the cinnamon challenge I had done not 5 minutes earlier. If not from the cinnamon still lingering in my airways, the wine may have seemed more balanced. The extra tannin must have come from their usage of french oak because the winemakers do include de-stemming in their process.

Sweetness: My palate is definitely not sensitive enough to taste most residual sugar in wines. That may be result from my crippling addition to Tab cola from 2002 – 2020. Nevertheless, I suspected the slightly higher tannin and natural acidity of the grape was masking most of the sweetness.

Acid: I appreciate the acidity level of pinot because I think it goes well with food. That mouthwatering tingle of a grape's natural acidity really wakes up my salivary glads and prepares my palate for a delicious meal. But I found this particular bottle to be lacking the zesty freshness of some acidity I was so desperately craving. I considered pouring a shot of espresso into my glass but quickly thought better.

I had remembered reviews of this wine in the past; members of this subreddit compared it to eating a crayon. I haven't eaten a crayon in a few years however, being the forlorn follower of trends that I am, I wanted to feel like I belonged. I wanted to taste what the more refined palates of this subreddit were also tasting. And so, as I sipped from my glass, I began nibbling on the wax casing of the bottle.

Alcohol: Despite the cooler climate of the Santa Lucia Highlands, 2019 saw warm weather for April through May and again in August shortly before the approaching harvesting season. This led to the notoriously fickle pinot grape gaining some much needed ripening. I read on the winemaker's website that they used "a combination of closed and open-top stainless steel fermenters…both punch-downs and pump-overs to extract color and tannins, and also to control temperatures and maximize flavors…After the wine underwent malolactic fermentation, [they] racked it twice before making the final blend." I don't know what most of that means though so I'm going to ignore it.

Tasting Notes:

Ahh the cloudy days on the Monterey peninsula. The Bay coats the valley in an almost startlingly cold wind – akin to a mother-in-law's unplanned visit to your home. Even though you know to expect it, you never quite get used to its raw, penetrating feeling. The cooler climate produced more tart red fruit flavors such as black cherry, cranberry, unripened raspberry. Some slight earthy flavors were coming through to me such as cacao nibs and black pepper. Also, I got a bit of clove but, again, that may have been due to the aforementioned cinnamon. I understand this particular vintage was harvested very early in the morning – most likely before the grapes could realize the attack was coming. That may be the reason why I detected the slightest soupçon of fear. It's a distinct flavor; you'll know it when you taste it. Overall, I believe it paired well with my pork tenderloin that I prepared with a port and shallot reduction. The meal was not without its mishaps though. While noshing on some of my scrumptious pork, I gripped my glass’ stem and went in for another sip. Apparently I gripped too hard and snapped the stem in half. These glasses from William Sonoma costed a small fortune! But maybe I deserved it. If this sub’s Mods and Elder Members command it, I will thrust the stem into my eye socket as a display of penitence.

By now, you may have detected the subtle facetious undertones of this review. If you haven't, don't worry. I only ask one thing of you. Run – don't walk – to your nearest wine purveyor and buy a bottle of Belle Glos (or Caymus any bottle – you can't go wrong). Some may argue the pulchritude that nearby Carmel and Big Sur are known for never make it into a bottle of Belle Glos. To them, I say nay.