I’d Hire

by Daddy_Chillbilly

43 Comments

  1. Ok_Link_2469

    Could be a good dude at least he’s honest

  2. SoftestBoygirlAlive

    Cook/owner is great 🤣 You need a cook, call me.

  3. I mean this is a pretty solid dishie resume. The fact he wants to be a cook/owner just means he cares about the job

  4. Specialist_Ask_3639

    lol, yeah, hired. It’d throw this fucker an apron and start calling tickets.

  5. HashishChef

    I’d give him a trial shift, see how he handled it

  6. At first I was like “a little cheeky but ok” then I got to the middle

  7. Dollars to donuts this dude would be *at least* as good or better than my 3rd place coworker from minimum wage doing oil changes at a Texaco in my teens to closing $10-50m oil & gas service contracts.

  8. FennecScout

    Dammit, he’s got moxxie. Make him the owner.

  9. JeffGoldblumsChest

    Went to Lakewood HS, I remember the stories of Boca Ciega. Hopefully the guy got hired lol

  10. Original_Boat6539

    Work search required to continue to collect unemployment and food share and housing good for them for being honest about not wanting to work

  11. Affectionate_Egg897

    When you want to ride the unemployment train for a little longer but they require applications be submitted

  12. Fluffy_Somewhere4305

    He wrote “alot” instead of “a lot”. Major red flag.

  13. Dirtydancin27

    I had a guy put in the special skills spot “sweet backflips and junk”. The interview process only involved him landing a backflip in front of a full bar. He did it first try so I hired him on the spot. I’ve since moved on but he’s still working there today as their best cook 10 years later. 

  14. Penguin_Tempura

    One of my best employees was a heroin addict. That motherfucker showed up and worked hard to support his habit

  15. TikiTorchJoe

    I got hired to be a cook at a bar while drinking there, started the next day lol

  16. StormOfFatRichards

    Ask stupid fucking questions, get snide answers. Is obedience the main trait you’re looking for? If so, there are better ways to check for it. If not, don’t blame laborers for your shit HR practices.

  17. not_likely_today

    I mean most of the time its “hey I heard you need a cook” “you cook? Done it before?” “Ya man a few years” “Okay grab a apron lets see how you do for the day”

  18. Ray_ChillBuck

    You gotta admire the enthusiasm and his obvious passion for cooking. He’d probably be a good employee tbh.

  19. CaddyShsckles

    Start them in the dish pit. If they have a great attitude… then move them to the line.

  20. rdditeis4gsfa

    I bet he’ll show up in a tux for the interview then rip a big fart during it.

  21. moonbunnyart

    Can’t call em since they just crossed out the spot for a phone number lol

  22. zigaliciousone

    That’s a thing people do when they are on unemployment and want to stay on unemployment but have to do a job search once a week.

  23. lukulele90

    I would at least interview the guy. I gotta meet this motherfucker.

  24. Alien_Explaining

    The application itself would have made me barf

    I’d have filled it out the same way

  25. HeatSeekingGhostOSex

    Of course it’s Florida. Home state be crazy as hell. I hired a dishwasher with *essentially* the same resume. Used to buy his acid. Shit was cash

  26. Pwnsacrifice

    Hands down better than some I’ve seen.

    “Works well under the influence” – fuck references, this is the information I *NEED* to know!

  27. BrotatoChip04

    “This doesn’t matter, you need a cook, call me”

    Honestly I respect it

  28. MariachiArchery

    This is the kind of guy you hire out of sheer desperation, he shows up, you put him on fryer, and he kills. Clean, fast, efficient, good food, the works…

    Then, you move him around the kitchen, and he kills it everywhere he goes, makes everyone’s job easier, and is in general, a complete joy to work with and the bright spot of your restaurant…

    This will go on for a few months, maybe even a year if you are lucky, then one day, some day, he’ll go completely off the rails: show up shit faced and unable to work, no-call no show, you’ll attempt to discipline him and he’ll fly off the handle, he’ll stop doing good work, work like a slob, and his food will look like shit.

    Then, he’ll just be gone. He’ll never show up again, and you’ll never hear from him again.

    He’s lightning in a bottle, a bottle rocket. You’ll always wonder what happened, but you’ll probably never see him again. You are left to simply wonder.

    These people are real.

  29. miketugboat

    He’d be the best cook for 3 months and then one busy service he’d disappear and you’d find him locked in the bathroom passed out

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