Dave’s Murder Chicken

Figured I’d post my own experience. I’d been to Dave’s Hot Chicken before and got the extra hot and enjoyed the bit of kick it had. This time I got the Reaper, and figured “hey I’ve done the One Chip Challenge and went heavyweight, how bad could it be?”

So after I triggered my own death flag, I took my first bite, and honestly really enjoyed the flavor. It was kinda smokey, and generally a well-rounded spice. Until about 15 seconds in. At which point the spice started up. I was ready for the level of heat it brought, though the 15 second delay was just long enough for me to drop my guard.

I panicked and went for the milk I’d poured and left out of arm’s reach, which at least gave my brain time to catch up and stop me from downing the whole thing, but wow. That made it so much worse. I managed to cool down my mouth relatively quickly, but for some reason, my throat turned into a furnace. I’d never before felt my esophagus catch fire like that. Genuinely the worst part.

I’d let myself recover for about 10 minutes when it hit me, that was only half of it. My mouth actively started hurting when I opened it to take the next bite. My tongue recoiled.

Anyways, after turning my sinuses into a river delta, my throat into a magma tube, and my mouth into a blast furnace, I managed to get through the whole thing.

For those interested in trying, here’s a tip: pre-game with a glass or two of milk and some complex carbs, like a small bowl of oatmeal. My stomach isn’t hurting at all, and while I can feel it going through my intestines, it’s not actively destroying my insides in the process.

Scores
– Flavor: 8/10 – before the spice kicked in, the flavor was bold and complex. Definitely would eat again in a lower spice bracket

• Spice: 13/10 – hotter than Satan’s own taint, and it makes sure to remind you every step of the way

• Overall: 6/10 – there comes a point on the spice train when the heat is the only thing you can taste. This basically felt like I’d just taken straight lab grade capsaicin and, after taking a bite of a quite delicious chicken wing, coated my mouth with the stuff. Great to have once. Unfortunately I got 3 of them.