MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Many of my soon-to-be in-laws are upset that we don’t have a wedding registry, and also that they don’t have my phone number to complain.
Nobody bothers my fiance, but his mother, “Noreen,” gets a lot of calls from the extended family. I’ve given my blessing for her to share the truth: We are putting together photo walls in the front hallway of our home, and will happily include anyone who sends us pictures.
Even this highly personal gift idea isn’t cutting it, and Noreen is getting frazzled as the date draws nigh. Directing relatives to my fiance’s phone number isn’t working.
I’m tempted to make a registry that is all socks to be donated to a charity, but that would probably just make things worse for Noreen. Please talk me down.
GENTLE READER: Presumably you know that Miss Manners has long been railing exhaustively — and ineffectually — against the custom of giving one’s shopping list to guests.
Nevertheless, when she calms down, she realizes that there really are people who would like to please celebrants and yet don’t know them well enough to know how. To make that palatable, it should be done indirectly and in general terms.
What your fiance’s mother needs is such an answer to the relatives: “They love kitchen gadgets,” “Their house is in tones of blue and gray” or “They travel a lot.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.