To my fellow BOH and FOH warriors,
As the year is coming to an end and the push gets heavier, I just want to take a moment to speak about the hidden battles that many of us carry behind the pass and the service smile.
If you’re fighting something beneath the surface, whether it’s burnout, loneliness, or darker thoughts . Know that you’re not alone. You are more than the tickets on the rail, more than the covers in a night, more than the role you play during service.
The end-of-year rush is brutal, but your health, your heart, and your mind matter more than any guest’s approval or any manager’s praise. Please take care of yourselves and look out for each other. If you notice a colleague struggling, even a small word or gesture can mean the world.
To everyone in this industry. You are seen, you are valued, and the world is better with you in it.
Stay strong, stay kind, and don’t forget you’re human before you’re chef, service, steward or a bartender. Dont be a dick like Tony leaving us like that. Im joking i love that mf he was my inspiration to become who i am today.
To FOH keep giving us coffee and drinks, to BOH like me keep feeding our front liners.
To everyone in this industry.
byu/Jordyy_yy inKitchenConfidential
by Jordyy_yy
38 Comments
No notes…100%
Wanted to add on
May your knives be sharp, your beers frosty, your tips fat, your mis en perfect and your last orders on time.
Boiling point?
I’ve only ever done a few months in kitchens, but I have lost folks outside of that situation, and this scene hit me hard when I first saw it, and again now.
Stay safe friends x
100% Agree ❤️❤️
❤️
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This hit me so hard. I’ve been working harder than ever lately, I lost my daughter last year and found that my wife was cheating. No self harm or anything but man, days are dark lately, it’s not easy. I had a similar moment just a couple of days ago where I was just not handling things well and one of the chefs could tell and just asked if I was okay, which I obviously was not, and I just started tearing up and he hugged me, made sure I had his number etc.. as small as those moments can seem to some, it helped more than I could express.
lost a coworker last month to self harm, please reach out if you need help or a break. everyone is more understanding than you think
Two time suicide survivor.
This industry is hell. The last thing people need is to be awful to each other.
People wonder why some of us work a job that offers so little in terms of quality of life. Well, when those tickets are going, my mind isn’t. Cooking was always an escape for me growing up, so to be able to get paid to do it is essentially free therapy.
I can’t be a human being and just work happily in any other industry. I’ve tried.
Their has been times in my life where I would’ve wished someone would have cared for me like this
don’t mind me, I’m just over here cutting imaginary onions in the corner…
What is this from?
Sometimes I see people with marks, and I recognise them because I have them myself.
Damn I needed this…right now, this exact moment…thank you
100%
This industry was slowly killing me, and I hated everything about life. Had a freak accident away from work and tore my ACL back in February. After recovering enough to work, my boss informed me my job was no longer available. After 5 1/2 months of telling me to just focus on healing your job will be here when you come back. I worked there for 11 years and the day before I was suppose to go back I was given the previous information. Felt so betrayed and saw what I was apparently worth to that restaurant. They hired 3 people to replace me and still struggled with them. A few weeks go by I and my old boss is trying to back step and get me to come back, complaining about the new guys. I told him I moved on already, and I’m happy with where life is headed. I now maintain fish tanks and koi ponds, which has been a hobby for years. Seriously going to work now is like therapy everyday. The fish complain a whole lot less than the customers did haha. And if I’m outside im splashing around in water so it’s not blisteringly hot. After 15 years working in restaurant it is such a blessing to be free. It took a freak injury to get me to finally pull the trigger and seek out what makes me actually happy. Don’t be afraid to leave the industry y’all, there are other jobs out there. Find a place you are truly appreciated and not worked to absolute death so the boss can buy another house(first hand experience). Love yall even if I don’t know you stay strong out there and take that leap of faith you’ve been debating. I am happier than I have been in years. I have time to spend with friends and am actually maintaining a healthy relationship that I have time for finally.
This was a good movie, cold ass ending tho /:
Love you all. Brush your teeth!
Yesterday my coworker and I were writing notes to plan our closing shift. He had his arm laid out on the table, just chilling while we talked. I noticed that he had the same self harm scars that I do on his own forearm. I didn’t mention anything to him, but it felt nice to know that we went through a similar experience.
This movie (boiling point) is one of my favourite movies of all time. Fucking brutal.
The whole film is also one uninterrupted shot!
Always want to see Hannah Walters in more stuff. Think kitchens are a lot less brutal than in the past, with a lot less bullying (at least my experience) but still way too many toxic places.
Thanks for this. Needed it
Ngl I think this requires a NSFW warning for self harm
I thought this would cut to him accidentally burning his arm on the oven door.
This just hurt me so deeply. I wish I had had someone to hug me when the dark was at its darkest.
When the season’s change I’m always worried. Less hours and less to do during them… makes me feel useless sometimes.
I get sent home early for getting my job done quickly and it makes me feel worse. What’s the point in doing my job well if it’s just punished? On top of having less hours in general it really cuts deep, I’m honestly just scared this will be the season that I don’t have enough for rent or food for the coming months.
For my fellow chefs …. There’s a way to get out of that hole
Change of space , or even pace helps
Work and life balance for sure
Know your worth and make sure to get your worth
It’s hard …. It’s a journey
It’s a marathon
Two phone numbers to know in the US are 911 and 988.
988 is a national crisis hot line with someone to talk to. It can feel like the switchboard is messing with you, but it’s routing based on your phone number. They will talk to you and offer some resources. There are also regional resources. If you’re in management, would be cool to post that. The crisis social workers probably have posters you can request in areas with prevention programs.
And nevermind all the bullshit if you want because my dog loves you.
Fellow cook in my kitchen took his own life after his shift a week before Christmas a couple years ago. Remember to treat each other well, even if it feels difficult.
For fuck’s sake, Chef. Easy on the onions.
Working in a kitchen while having a history of self harm can be so incredibly difficult, everything is sharp, hot, pokey, zappy, it’s so important to know you can tap out when things are overwhelming, the good managers and coworkers will understand, and if they don’t, well, sucks to be them.
I miss one of my chefs mostly because he knew how hard of a time I had it working with him. Besides the crippling loneliness and constant depression there were a lot of days where I just wanted to walk in front of a bus and call it there.
Don’t let it all build up chefs. I know that it’s tough getting rocked all the time, but try to seek some form of help.
Hit every word you say, @OP
To be honest, I feel burnout and lonely a lot. My brothers @ sisters (BOH) are the ones who keep me going every day. We joke around, laugh, and help each other out.
Like @OP say, one small gesture can make a huge difference for that “one” person.
We are equipment. Plain and simple. We provide nothing to the world besides the circulation of capital. Just replace me with a robot and put me out of my misery.
We’re all broken in this industry. Maybe it’s that simple fact that makes us desire to be around like-minded people; so we don’t feel alone.
Check in on your people.
Get help if you need.
I’ve got therapy and psychiatric help going on in my life, but I only just started it. Wish I woulda started earlier.
Just a check-in. Is everyone okay? I know we love dark humor on this sub, but it’s gotten a bit worrisome lately. I left the industry, but I still love every one of you and get what it is to live that life.
Dinner Rush is abt to hit….but thank you for this it put a smile on my face. Cheers Mate n’ take care 🙂
I thought she was mad because she rolled up his sleeves and he didnt have any tattoos.