It’s officially Christmas, and in honor of the most spirited time of year, we’ve gathered a Claus-itively excellent list of Christmas puns to help you celebrate the season.
Because, honestly, what would the December holiday be without at least a few punny dad jokes and holiday-themed one-liners to help make spirits bright?
Thankfully, we’ve gathered a list (and checked it twice) of our absolutely favorite Christmas puns and, dare we say, all of them are seriously tree-mendous, if we do say so ourselves.
In the collection below, you’ll find one-liners on everything from Santa Claus to snow, presents, elves and pretty much anything else you’re looking for this holiday season.
You’re bound to be ho, ho, ho-ing over these dumb-but-funny wisecracks that are just right for Instagram captions, tongue-in-cheek holiday greetings, and just about any other occasion that calls for a bit of festive humor.
And with so little time between now and Dec. 25, you might just say these Christmas puns arrived in the St. Nick of time. After all, there’s noel time like the present to share these wisecracks with loved ones.
No need to thank us. Consider it our way of saying “Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
Now that we’ve, cough, cough, wrapped that up, let’s begin with these Christmas puns that boldly snow where no one has gone before.
Best Christmas PunsResting Grinch face.I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.Jingle bills.Just be your-elf.It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
Feelin’ pine.Seasonings greetings!Let’s get into the holiday spirits!We whisk you a merry Christmas.God rest ye hairy gentlemen.
There’s snow place like home. To boldly snow where no one has gone before.Hang on for deer life!Winter takes all.Claus and effect.I get by with a little elf from my friends.Eat, drink and get merried. You gift love a bad name.
That’s a wrap!Snowbody’s perfect.Winter, winter, Christmas dinner!Last but not feast.Season the day!All dressed up and snow-where to go.Reindeer in the headlights.
Yule be in my heart.Noel time like the present.Never sleigh never.What the elf?Oh, deer!The royal tree-tment.I’m a lost Claus.Christmas Puns for CardsHave your elf a merry little Christmas.I’m pine-ing for you this Christmas.
Yule never guess who’s coming? It’s Santa!I’m a rebel without a Claus.There’s no gift like the present.To coldly go where no snowman has gone before.Wake me up before you cocoa.Snow be it.Go outside for Christmas? Snow thanks.Introducing: Santa Paws.
Introducing: Santa Claws.Hope your holidays are tree-mendous this year.Just in the St. Nick of time.Christmas puns sleigh me.Birch, please.Someone’s up to snow good.Scrooge that!
Let there be peas on earth.All I want for Christmas is ewe.Season’s eatings.Funny Christmas PunsHappy holly-days!I love you from head to mistletoe.Sleigh, what?All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies!What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire together? Frostbite.
What do cats listen to during the holidays? Christmas mew-sic. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.What’s the difference between the regular alphabet and the Christmas alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has noel.Why do reindeer love Beyoncé? Because she sleighs.What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.Why do mummies love Christmas? There’s so much wrapping.
How does the snow globe feel at Christmas? A little shaken.What is a fruit’s favorite Christmas song? “We Wish You A Berry Christmas.”What did the confrontational snowman say to the carrot? “Get out of my face!”Why did the two snowmen start dating as soon as they met? Because it was love at frost sight.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A carib-boo.What did the wise men say after giving gifts of gold and frankincense? “But wait … there’s myrrh!”How do sheep say, “Merry Christmas”? Fleece Navidad.What do you get when you eat all the Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.Which list do children who don’t know how to tie their shoes end up in? The knotty list.
What do you call a snowman party? A Snow Ball.Why did the snowmen get arrested? They were up to snow good.What happens to Christmas gifts when they die? They become the ghost of Christmas present.Where do mistletoes go to get famous? Holly-wood.Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s Decembrrrrr.How long should a reindeer’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”? A mistle-toad.
What do road crews use at the North Pole? Snow cones.What are parents’ favorite Christmas song? “Silent Night”Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.Why is everyone at the North Pole thirsty? There’s noel.Why was the snowman looking at a bag of carrots? He’s picking his nose.What did the gingerbread man say to the sad fruitcake? “What’s eating you?”What song and dance does Beyoncé like to perform at Christmas? “All the Jingle Ladies.”
How do fairy tale books for reindeer usually end? “And they lived happily ever antler.”What do reindeers use to decorate their antlers? Horn-aments.What do you call a gym-obsessed snowman? An abdominal snowman.What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? “Let’s hang out.”Snow PunsDon’t worry, ski happy.Home sleet home.There’s no business like snow business.
Snow time like the present.Snow pain, snow gain.Snow rest for the wicked.Christmas Food PunsIt’s the most wine-derful time of the year.Good things come to those who bake.
At the gumdrop of a hat.Don’t forget to make Santa-witches for the guests.Dog Christmas PunsDaschund through the snow!Happy Howl-idays!Who delivers presents to dogs at Christmas? Santa Paws.What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas treat? Candy canines.
What do dogs do at Christmas parties? They whine and dine.Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? “Sniffin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”How do dogs celebrate Christmas? By throwing a Christmas paw-ty.Cat Christmas PunsWho delivers presents to cats at Christmas? Santa Claws.What do you call a Christmas gift for a cat? A purr-esent.How do cats say “Merry Christmas”? “Meow-ry Christmas!”Why did the cat give everyone gag gifts? They were kitten around.
What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claws.Why did the cats hate their presents? They gifts weren’t up to scratch.What is a cat’s favorite Christmas candy? Catt-y canes.Christmas Tree PunsIt’s high time to spruce things up.I’m pine-ing for you.Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.What do you get when you come across a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles.Have a tree-mendous Christmas!How do trees flirt? They talk about chemis-tree.How do trees count? “One, two, tree.”Santa and Elf PunsHow do you invite Santa to a party? You request his presents. Where does Santa keep his suit? In the Claus-et.Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.Why does Santa hate getting stuck in a chimney? Because he has clause-trophobia.What is Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.The holidays make me feel extra Santa-mental.
What type of car do Santa’s elves drive? Minivans.What do you call a greedy elf? Elf-ish.No need to Claus a scene!Why did Santa get a ticket? He left his sleigh on a snow parking zone.What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music.How do you know when Santa is around? You can sense his presents.What did the reindeers say to Santa after he fell off the sleigh? “Hold on for deer life!”What do you call the elf who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Ribbon Hood.What kind of motorbike does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson.
Where does Santa keep all his money? At the Snow Bank.What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet.Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.Who is the elf’s favorite rock start? Elf-is Presley.
Why does Santa prefer going down the chimney instead of the front door? Because it soots him.What do you call someone who’s scared of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic.
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