In-law wings

Ever need to escape from visiting in-laws. Do you like to spend all day cooking for marginally better results than normal? We'll this one's for you!

1.Gently pluck and groom your wings, toss in a SPG mixture and lest rest in the fridge for 40 minutes. Have a beer.
2.Create a brine mixture of your liking, the more complicated the better. Have a beer.
3.Gently rinse the wings with a light lager, pat dry, then place in a sous vide bag. Add the brine mixture. Have a beer
3.Add the wings to a sous vide bath @ 160deg, and cook for 1.5 hours. Have 3 beers.
4.Remove, drain, and place on a wire rack said wings. Pat dry, then place in the fridge for 3 hours. Have 3 more beers and get in an argument with your father-in-law.
4.5.Angrily mince garlic and other mise-en-plas. Build the most compicated drawn out wing sauces you know of. Do this intermittently with arguing with your father-in-law. Have 2 beers.
5.Preheat Dutch oven with 2" of oil to 480-500deg (seriously it's fine). Pull wings out, and touch them up with a heat gun to remove any residual moisture. Have a beer.
6.Gently place wings in the fryer with a bare hand one at a time and remove when they look delicious. Place on a paper towel lined tray in the oven set to 170deg. Have a beer.
7.Serve everyone, then mix all the sauces leftover together, add a pile of torchbearer garlic reaper to it, add Parmesan cheese, then eat your beloved wings in a corner.