Cook with Eve – Episode 5 Guest: Ronya Naboulsi Topic: Anxiety – Recipe: Haloumi Burger

Haloumi Burger Recipe

Ingredients

2 slices haloumi cheese (about 1 cm thick each)

1 burger bun of your choice (brioche, Turkish, or wholemeal)

2 slices fresh tomato

A small handful of baby spinach leaves

1–2 tbsp aioli sauce (garlic mayo)

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Method

1. Prepare the buns

Slice your burger bun in half.

Lightly toast or warm both sides in a dry pan, toaster, or grill until golden.

2. Cook the haloumi

Place the haloumi slices in a hot non-stick pan over medium-high heat.

Cook for about 2–3 minutes per side until golden brown and slightly crisp on the outside. (No oil needed—the cheese will release a little moisture as it cooks.)

3. Assemble the burger

Spread a generous layer of aioli sauce on the bottom half of your toasted bun.

Layer on the spinach leaves, followed by the tomato slices.

Place the hot, golden haloumi on top.

Add an extra drizzle of aioli if you like.

Cap with the top half of the bun.

4. Serve

Serve immediately while the haloumi is warm and melty

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Salam allayikum everyone. Today we have a special guest. Her name is Rona Bilsi. She is the founder of FRA Healing. She is a mother of three beautiful kids mashallah and she is a counselor. So how are you? Good. Good. How are you? Thank you so much for coming. Thanks for inviting me. I’m actually excited to be part of this program. I’m so excited for having you. So what are you going to be making today? Okay. So today I’ll be making halumi burgers. Um you know as you mentioned I have three kids. So, as they were growing up, you know, working, studying, you want something quick and easy. That’s what we all want. Yeah. And something that the kids sort of enjoyed. So, this is like a really quick um meal that you can make. That’s really Yeah. So, let’s see how we go. And we’re also going to be talking about Palestine and Raza and obviously how it impacts mental health. So, you’ll be asking some questions around that and we’ll have a discussion around it in because you know now with what’s happening in it’s affecting a lot of moms and people around the world. So, inshallah we’re going to be focusing on that. So stay tuned. The MATW team is on the ground every single day in Gaza delivering your donations. Every single dollar counts. Every single meal is saving lives right now in this time of crisis. Give now and give generously. Okay. So now Ra is going to tell us what we need for this burger. Halumi burger. So I’m excited actually for this. Okay. It’s very simple actually. You only need five ingredients. That is actually we got the um burger bread. I don’t I found this at Ulie’s potato burger buns, which I thought will be interesting, but really any bun will work. Okay, we’ve got halalumi cheese. Yum. Okay. I prefer the big block because it fits perfectly with the in the pizza um sorry, pizza burger bun. So, can I repeat that one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We’ve got the halumi cheese and I prefer the big block because it’s a bit wider, so it works better with the bun. And we’ve got spinach. Mhm. Um baby spinach and tomatoes and aoli. Okay, perfect. That’s perfect. Okay. So, we need to first open the grill. Mhm. Oh, I cut everything first. Oh, it doesn’t matter cuz I will get too hot. Just Okay. So, we’ll start cutting. So, with everything going on in Raza and you know, I see a lot of women, they’re very anxious and you know, they they they are getting affected with what’s going over there. So, how can women actually deal with this? Uh, first it’s important to recognize what’s going on in a person’s body. So, um, we’re actually not designed to deal with that much trauma. And there’s something called secondary trauma, which is when you’re constantly being exposed to, uh, images like what’s been happening in Kaza, which is very, very traumatic and, um, uh, it can affect the person’s mental health. So, there’s a lot we can do, but first to understand that um, you have to listen to your body and women who already suffer depression, anxiety um, will feel this on a larger scale. So, their symptoms will get worse. um then you know their depression symptoms might get worse, the anxiety might get worse. Do you like them? So what strategies can women do or take if they feel anxious about what’s happening? Especially now, you know, we’re always on our phones scrolling on Instagram or Tik Tok and all we see is all those children that are hungry or crying and especially moms that are breastfeeding or pregnant and they see these kind of images, they get so much affected. Like I know from a personal you know this is personal like I remember when I was breastfeeding my son and at the beginning of the war um I would see babies crying for food and I got so much affected to be honest. So what strategies do you give those women? So for any woman that’s um feeling very overwhelmed or anxious what’s happening um take a break. So it’s a good idea to take a break from social media you have to ask yourself when you’re watching these images is it helping you to do something or is it paralyzing you? That’s actually so if you’re watching these images and it’s pushing you towards giving charity or making dua or um you know sharing on social media um then then it’s it’s a good thing that you keep watching because it’s it’s pushing you to doing something to do something um you know sort of reactive and proactive to what’s going on. If however on the other spectrum um it’s making you paralyzed. So a lot of women when they’re seeing these things they feel helpless they feel very depressed don’t really want to go out anymore they’re feeling isolated in that case they have to ask themselves is this actually benefiting me to watch these videos is is it actually benefiting me or even benefiting them so I like to look at it as a spectrum um one spectrum over here is I don’t want to watch it I don’t really want to be caring about what’s happening over there which is not good either because uh you know Muslims are one um we’re one body. If one part is affected, the other part is affected. Then you have the other extreme where watching constantly and making the person feel very down and depressed and then they’re not really proactive anymore. And the middle ground, the balance is always around, okay, I can see the images there. It’s pushing me towards making D. It’s pushing me towards want to do better. So, you have to find that middle ground. Yeah. We don’t want to be on either end of the spectrum. We want to be on the middle ground where it’s balanced and we’re still doing what we can. the tomatoes chopped up. Just need a plate. Maybe I’ll put them on a plate. Okay. So, what are some common um you know, emotions women may experience when watching these um footages or hearing about it? So, signs or symptoms I think the women should look out for is if you’re starting to see physical symptoms. Cuz when we’re stressed, the body releases cortisol, which is a stress hormone. Yeah, that ultimately and eventually will affect you physically. So, a lot of women come to me cuz I specialize with anxiety and they say, “I’m getting dizzy, gone to doctor to doctor and they’re saying there’s nothing wrong.” Um, and that’s actually a symptom of anxiety or depression. Um, or they’re getting nausea or stomach issues and they’ve gone to specialist and still there’s no um no cause. They can’t find a cause to their symptoms and quite often it’s linked to anxiety and depression. So, listen to your body. Look out for symptoms like insomnia, not being able to go to sleep, nausea. Yeah. U vomiting, dizziness, palpitations. In some extreme cases, especially someone already suffers with anxiety, they can get panic attacks. And if you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, it actually feels like you’re dying. Your heart’s racing, palpitating, you get start to get a bit sweaty um and and you feel overwhelmed and you feel like you’re dying. You go to the hospital, call the ambulance, and then usually do their checks and say, “No, everything is good. You’re good to go.” Um and that’s the body’s response. Like you have to look at that as alarm bells. the body’s trying to send a message and you have to listen. Okay, what’s my body trying to tell me? And I’d always say get professional help because sometimes it’s hard to identify yourself what actually is going on. Okay. Cuz a lot of us do with the unconscious mind. Yeah. Um and so it’s important to just listen to your body, look out for the symptoms, and get professional help if you need it. I actually agree. So sometimes we might be going through something already and then by watching these videos um of what’s happening in Gaza, it might trigger, you know, something worse. That’s right. That’s such a good point, Lara. So what can happen is if someone’s already gone through trauma, say for example, they have childhood trauma um and you know, they’ve already experienced some difficult issues in their life. I like to describe it like I like to use an analogies and analogy I use is like a wound. M so someone has a wound and um uh they haven’t healed that wound. It’s still there. They’ve just put a band-aid on top of it, but it hasn’t actually healed. So what’s happening now with what’s happening overseas or any other trauma that can happen in a person’s life? It’s like getting salt and putting it on the wound again. And then that whole wound just refles up and the pain is you know intense and thinking but why am I feeling it so intensely? It’s usually related to past trauma as well that could have happened. Yeah. So that’s why it’s important to like work on your mental health. I think that we really undervalue the importance of working on mental health. There’s a lot of awareness now around physical health and gym and diet and exercise. Um but we really undervalue the importance of working on our mental health. So I know in our society there’s a lot of women that may be going through mental health but they don’t like to seek um medical treatment because they think like maybe it’s s or no I’m not mentally ill or something like that. Like I hear it a lot to be honest. So, what do you say to them? Um, part of the reason I started my Futra healing page was for this main reason. Uh, I think that there’s a lot of taboo around mental health, especially in the Arab community. Not too sure about other communities. I’m sure it’s probably the same. Um, but I know definitely from, you know, my upbringing, it was very taboo. I’ve suffered with depression myself. Went through postnal depression with my eldest daughter who’s now 21. And at the time, I didn’t know what was happening. Um, and I was never something spoken about. And even if you try to speak to elderly person in that time, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m just feeling very down. Um, feeling a bit hopeless. The response is usually, oh, we all went through this. You’ll be fine. Keep going. It’ll be okay. And it’s very dismissive. And so when I did, so my background, just to give you a bit of background, I actually studied traditional Chinese medicine. Took me 10 years to finish my degree. Wow. So anyone out there who’s studying and thinking this taking too long, don’t give up. Just keep going. I studied for 5 years because I was studying. I was bringing up my son. So it took me 5 years to finish my studies. It’s okay. It can take you some time. So it took me 10 years to finish my traditional Chinese medicine. And after I finished, I thought, you know what? This is actually not for me. I want to work on on mental health. Because what I noticed was women would come in, for example, with a physical symptom. Say, for example, they’ve got like dizziness or or nausea. and then you treat it with acupunchure and herbs, but then when they come back the following week, the symptoms are worse because it’s related to a mental health thing. So, I started to pick up and I thought, you know what, I need to work on mental health because you have to look at the mind, the body, and the soul to get true healing. And that’s what led me to counseling. And so, then when I started to do counseling and talk about it, um people were just like surprised. And like you said, it’s a taboo topic. Yeah. Even when I told my father that I’m going to study counseling, he’s like, “Oh, so you’re going to help help people who are crazy.” And I said, that’s a word that they’re using now. Like for example, like when you go to an Arab person and tell them, okay, you know, this person might be going through something mentally, which I think everyone has trauma in their life in some way. You know, we are here in this world to be tested in a way or another. And then when you when someone says or mentions that they’re going to a psychologist or you know anything that would help or counselor up for example they’ll be like no no no no I can’t go there because it’s people are going to call me crazy for example. I’ve heard that a lot actually and I think that’s a really old way of thinking about it. Alhamdulillah, my dad’s changed his perspective. All these years I’ve convinced him that you can come to therapy, you know, just if you’re feeling overwhelmed, feeling a little bit sad, confused, not quite sure what’s happening. Um, so therapy is not, you know, for crazy people. This is something we need to change. And that was part of the reason I I started my FRA healing is to raise awareness around mental health and to let go of this taboo ideology that you know we we shouldn’t be seeking mental health cuz then it means that you’re crazy or there’s something wrong with you. It’s not cuz as I just as I just mentioned that we all go through trauma and whatever trauma that we go through I feel like if we don’t heal it or if we don’t how can I say treat it. Yeah. Okay. So, I feel like a lot of us go through trauma and if you don’t actually treat it right, it’s going to build more trauma and and anything that you watch or see might, you know, make it worse for you. So, what do you what do you suggest or what do you um think about this? So, this is what we’re talking about here is compounded trauma. So, someone has a trauma and then they um don’t heal it and then they build upon it and slowly slowly it grows. An analogy again I will use. Someone for example has had a back injury and they never treated it and they didn’t do anything to try to fix it or repair it and they just ignored the problem and left it. Yeah. And then they now have another injury and now it makes the situation worse for them. So um you’re right. We all have some degree of trauma. Some of it is doesn’t need therapy. Like some people can manage it naturally on their own but some struggle with it. And that’s where it’s important that if you are struggling to get the help that’s needed. And I do want to mention with the cheese slices too much. So just cut them like around that thick, probably the size of a meat patty. And we’re going to fry these off. Brown them off. It is quite salty, but I find that with the tomato and the ioli, it sort of balances it out. And same with the spinach as well. So I just got the packaged spinach only because it’s more convenient, but I’ll show today. But you can buy the um the free spinach, loose spinach, and just make it pick it yourself. Okay. So, um we’re almost ready to fry off our cheese and things. We’ve got here tomato chopped up, the spinach. Um so, what I’m going to do now is grill the the burger bun. I like mine crunchy. Okay. Are we going to put anything on the grill or uh Yes. I’m going to fry off the cheese. So, we need to put this in the grill. Oh, I can do it in No, put it in the grill. Do you want to put it? Okay. I just need another plate if you don’t mind. So, I’m just going to grill these or toast them a little bit. I like mine crunchy and toasted. And then we’re just going to fry off the cheese a little bit just in a pan. I don’t put oil or anything. Um doesn’t need it really. Yeah. And this is um non-stick pan so it’s perfect. Yeah. Okay. So, what are some strategies that women can use to overcome anxiety? So the first one that we mentioned I’d like to mention is um again listen to your body and if you feel that it’s not serving you um then take a break take a break from social media uh try not to watch images that are uh making your symptoms worse um and also uh take time away if you need to go out in nature go out for a walk uh find a hobby that helps you to like when you’re doing a hobby you feel you feel better usually feel like productive, you feel you’re achieving something, gets your mind off things as well. Um, exercise is extremely important. When you exercise, it releases endorphins which is really good for the body. Um, and most importantly, in my opinion, is um connecting with Allahh. You know, that could be through prayer, through Quran, through dua. Allah Allahh is capable of all things. Yeah. And so Allah is capable to heal the person’s anxiety and depression to ease a situation in Palestine and so continue with dua and continue with prayer and worship and uh um offgar. Oh, mashallah. Yeah. So, you know, now that kids have access to phones and social media, they’re also going through similar, you know, videos and they’re watching these videos of Palestine and, you know, or these images that are coming up of the kids that are starving. So, what can we do as mothers, you know, to help our children overcome these as well? I think it’s important with our children to have open conversations, age appropriate. M so for example a child that’s 10 or 11 they should be aware of the situation that’s going on there they need to understand what’s happening but um according to their age level and also the same um strategies will apply for children you know talk to them that this is affecting your mental health um you’re finding it overwhelming it’s okay to switch off for a little bit um it is a lot of a lot to watch like you know even myself as a counselor and I’ve got a lot of coping strategies to deal with these um things I still find there’s from time to time that I do need to um switch off for a little bit and ask myself is this serving me now or is it actually it’s not beneficial it’s not actually helping me or anyone around me so I take a bit of time to switch off um of course turn back to Allahh dua Quran you know maybe go out for a little go away somewhere and then come back and think okay what can I do to actually help you how can I help the people in cuz one thing that’s really important is not to feel helpless it’s very very very important not to feel helpless yeah that’s true You have to remember that a Muslim believer is strong and Muslims are not powerless and they not helpless. We always have dua. We always have Allah. We’ve been we’ve been made to feel like that we’re we don’t have um any power or ability, but that’s not true. I think I’m almost burning the cheese. So, I’ll take that off for a second. Let’s turn it off. Um so, I think I’m ready now to assemble my burger. I’ll just get a plate, please. Yeah. So, I’m going to assemble my burger now. What I’ve done is I’ve toasted it. Okay. And it’s very quick. Like maybe 10 minutes and you’ll be done. So, we’ve got our halumi cheese here that’s been toasted. Nice and piping hot. Yum. Smells good. So, how can community um or support networks help women that are feeling anxiety or feel anxious about what’s going on in Gaza or if they’re going through any trauma. I think we’re not actually created to be alone. If you think of Adam was created in heaven and he’s in Jenna. Like what more could you ask for to be in paradise? Um to have everything that you want. But he wanted a companion. So he wanted to be um around other people cuz we’re not created to be isolated and alone. Of course, it’s actually if you’re feeling that you need to be isolated and alone, then it’s a sign that you probably need a bit of support. Of course, taking a little bit of time away uh from community and you know to have a bit of a break is okay, but if you’re generally wanting to be isolated, then it’s usually something else that’s going on. So community is very very important because we are supposed to be communal and work together and work as a team. And when we’re going through something like what’s happening in Raza, like even when they see people protesting, it gives them like some encouragement. Um, and so we are supposed to work as a community. Um, and trying to get involved with with the protest and with community projects that are happening to support. I think they’re very important. Um, it helps people feel connected. It helps people feel like there’s a common cause that they’re working towards. That’s actually right. And I and like now what happened um in Sydney on the harbor bridge that actually reached the people over there in Gaza and they were all happy and sending messages that oh my god the people in Australia actually standing with us and it was a huge crowd and it was a huge crowd. Subhan Allah. And most of them were like not even Arabs or Muslims. They were like from other cultures and nature nationalities. So that was amazing. Alhamdulillah. So we’ve got the cheese and then the tomato. And then I just put a little bit of aoli sauce. Yeah, that looks so delicious. And then the spinach. I like to put extra spinach cuz my kids don’t like greens, so I tried to hide it in the burger, but they still pick it out somehow. It’s so healthy as well. Okay. And even if you wanted to, like the tension, if you don’t want bread, so you can just get the halomi taste test. Okay, there we go. There’s our Oops. Cut it properly. Need to cut it a little bit more. There we go. Oh my god, guys. Look at this. How easy and simple was that? I don’t have to classify as a meal, but it’s a good snack. No, my kids would love that, honestly. Like, it looks so good. And if you don’t want the breads, you can have Okay, let’s taste that now. I’m here to do the ta the tasting all the time. That is so nice. I absolutely love this. Are you going to try it? Yeah. Okay, I’ll continue that after. Yum, that’s actually so good. Had I ask you the last question and then we wrap it up. Okay, Ra, so what message would you like to share with women who are feeling anxious about or what kind of hope can you give them? Mhm. Um first that Allah created these feelings and emotions for a reason. And if you are feeling anxious, don’t look at it as a necessarily a bad thing. It’s a good thing that you are feeling um the pain of others. But as I said, it needs to be balanced out. If you’re feeling that it’s actually disabling you, then um it’s time to sort of balance it out and become more proactive with these feelings. So use those feelings to drive you towards doing um something to help them. And the message of hope I want to give is to never feel helpless. Um be hopeful. As Muslims, we always need to be hopeful. And we know in the Quran, Allahh tells us that with every hardship comes ease. So this is a time of hardship. This is a time of difficulty. But the ease will come. in the ease will come and we know that Palestine will be liberated. It’s just a matter of time and all what we’re going through is a test for the Palestinians of course first and foremost but also for everyone else around who’s watching. What are we doing? Are we spreading awareness around Palestine? Are we making dua for them? Are we giving charity on their behalf? So never say that I I’m helpless because then you you keep enabling that helpless behavior. Rather say I’m going to be hopeful and we can do something about it. Muslims are strong even though we’re not using our strength but we are strong and we have the power and we have the ability and it’s only a matter of time inshallah before Palestine will be liberated in. And for those who are willing to go and seek help like for example they they want to go see a counselor or you know just anything that would help their mentor. What do you recommend? Take the first step. Um the first step to change is awareness. So as soon as you recognize you know something’s just not right, don’t sit on it. Don’t wait wait for it to get worse because what I’ve noticed with uh my clients that do have anxiety and depression is I’ve been feeling it for years. It goes and comes. Had it as a teenager and then it went away and then I got it when I you know had given birth. It’s going and coming. Um so if you do feel not feeling quite yourself, you feel something’s not right. Um see seek help. Uh you can either go to your GP and get a mental health plan and see a psychologist or you can see a counselor. I specialize with helping women overcome anxiety and depression. I’m sure. Um yeah, my business name is Fitra Healing. So if anyone wants help, you can reach out. Uh that’s my specialty. So they can just go on Instagram. Yeah, Instagram or on my um web page. Just book appointment direct and you can do online. You can do you can do online. You can see me face to face. Uh some people prefer face to face, some people prefer online. But it’s just important to take that first step. It’s scary. The first step is always scary cuz a lot of the clients come to me for the first time. I don’t know what to talk about. Where do I start? I feel very anxious. I feel very nervous. And subh after the first session, they’re just feeling very comfortable and they’re looking forward to come back again and talk about what’s going on and start that healing journey. Um it it is a sometimes a slow process and a painful process, but it’s so worth it at the end. Of course. Of course. No, thank you so much for coming today. And guys, make sure if you feel anxious or you do need help, make sure you go and seek help. And thank you so much, Ra, for coming. Mashallah, the burgers are amazing. You’re amazing. And in you guys enjoyed today’s show and make sure to follow her and thank you all for watching and thank you so much.