NEED TO KNOW
A woman was shocked when her friend asked her to bring five different dishes to an early Thanksgiving dinnerShe noted that the four-person dinner party is two hours away from her houseShe was asked to bring a dozen homemade yeast rolls and a homemade apple pie, twice-baked potatoes, green bean casserole and sweet potatoes
Thanksgiving meals are usually a group effort, with guests bringing different dishes to contribute to the spread. But one woman feels like she is being asked to contribute more than necessary.
In a Reddit post, the woman explained that she was “invited to an early Thanksgiving dinner” at her friend’s house, which is two hours away. She noted that it will be an intimate gathering of just two couples and “no children present.”
“The hosts are providing a wild turkey (which the husband got during turkey season), gravy, mac & cheese and deviled eggs,” she explained.
However, she was shocked by the amount of food she was asked to bring for the four-person dinner party, especially given the lengthy drive.
“They want me to bring a dozen homemade yeast rolls and a homemade apple pie (which they specifically requested because they don’t like pumpkin pie), potatoes for twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, and sweet potatoes,” she wrote.
Stock image of friends at a dinner party.
Getty
Since the hosts were planning to make gravy, the poster suggested she bring mashed potatoes instead of twice-baked potatoes, but they shot her down, saying the gravy was strictly for the turkey.
“Frankly I think twice baked potatoes and mac & cheese with turkey does not sound appetizing, but it’s not my menu,” she continued.
Given the hosts’ particular requests, the woman turned to Reddit to ask if she was being “unreasonable” for thinking “the amount of food they expect us to travel with nearly 2 hours to their home is excessive.”
“When I host a holiday meal I generally ask my guests to bring one item, usually a side dish, and if they are driving that far I might only request that they bring something to drink,” she explained.
She added that this has become a pattern for her friends, noting that the last time they invited her over for a six-person dinner party, she was asked to bring so much food that she declined to attend altogether.
“We just don’t feel as guests that we should be asked to provide the majority of the food,” she concluded. “At this rate I’d rather stay home and cook our own turkey and have a traditional meal with mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, cranberries, pumpkin pie etc. Am I being unreasonable?”
The vast majority of commenters sided with the poster, calling it “super tacky” to expect guests to bring the majority of the food.
“I agree with you. And everything homemade? Plus travel both ways, the time investment alone seems excessive to visit people you don’t seem particularly close to,” one user replied.
“Also, I’d never insist on my personal favorites. ‘Bring a dessert, what’s your specialty?’ is much more respectful than assigning something specific,” they added.
In an update to the post, the woman revealed she told her friend they “would need to provide the potatoes” due to timing, that she would be bringing Southern green beans instead of a green bean casserole, which she and her husband don’t like, and that the “sweet potatoes are going to be canned yams that can be prepared at their house.”
While they compromised on some of the items, she agreed to make a homemade apple pie and rolls.

Dining and Cooking