My mum died just short of two months ago and I hate Christmas suddenly and everything feels impossible except for being in my kitchen, be it cleaning, cooking or baking. Today I have a cold & I’m on my period & I miss my mum. Too much if you ask me.
[Pistachio cake](https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/pistachio-cake/) and [white chocolate ganache](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/white-chocolate-ganache)
Chai spiced biscuits – a shifted version of gingerbread.
Butchered Gingerbread Recipe:
(Double batch)
250g butter
200g dark brown sugar
750g plain flour
2tsp bicarb
2 egg yolks
3tsp cinnamon
2tsp ground cardamom
1tsp ground cloves
1tsp ground nutmeg
250g golden syrup
Beat butter eggs and yolk until smooth. Stir in syrup. Combine dry ingredients and mix together with wet ingredients. When it’s like wet sand, knead into a ball. Roll out to 5mm thick and cut into desired shapes. Bake at 180c until the edges brown.
I intend to eat the cake with a fork and three cups of tea but I made enough biscuits to ninja star at well intentioned but still annoying people over the holidays.
by softbbyowl
39 Comments
She would be proud of you. I’m proud of you. I’m offering a good mom hug, if you need it.
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ all your baked goods look amazing and I am sure your mom is watching proudly from above! 💕
Also woman to woman, periods suck and ofc it gets too much, something sweet makes it a bit better!
It’s ok to have a day like that. Get that baking in front of the people you love and you’ll have made your mother quite happy. It’s what she would want for you.
I’ve learned that when grief arrives, welcome it. bake it cookies. have a drink with it. throw blankets on it and pillows at it. let it be…
it ain’t going anywhere, so may as well make the wait as delicious and bearable as possible.
you are amazing. baking in love, through love, amd reminded of love. thank you for sharing and for your example 🙏🏾✨️🤎🕊🎁
Here’s another mom hug from me! The cookies and especially the cake are fantastic! Holidays suck when your parent goes away. You vibing in your kitchen though…keep going! If it is your peace and comfort place, live in it!
What a comforting bake on a tough day. My sympathies and can relate. Mom passed in September and while it’s currently Hanukkah I am not feeling any joy or levity, only profound loss. I really debated doing my usual holiday baking (huge amounts for gifts) and decided to go with all low stress recipes that I’ve made previously. Sending light, healing and 💗 your way.
Sending you lots of love 🥹🥰
My mom passed earlier this year and I’m also having a difficult time feeling any joy this holiday season. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I hope you find some peace and take care of yourself, in whatever form of self-care you need.
Sending you so much love and strength!
These all look amazing, too.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom 🌺🙏🏼
Christmas is just a day nobody is required to celebrate it. You have too much going on and you don’t need to add extra stress by worrying about the holidays they can wait. Focus on yourself and recovering
your mom would be proud of you. Don’t be scared to show your emotions we all grief but in our own way it doesn’t get any easier but you just take it day by day
sending you so much love this holiday season. i lost my dad this year and baking saved me so many times in the trenches of grief. your desserts look delicious! ❤️🩹
Amazing in every way. You’re brave and beautiful. Holidays have been really hard for me the last 3 years as well for different reasons. I am so impressed and feel so deeply how you’ve managed to regulate very hard emotions through baking. Baked with every ounce of love.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could hug you and help you bake on honor of your mom. I make things my mom baked and cooked too. It’s a good legacy. I hope you have some wonderful holiday memories with her to get you through. Again, hugs and blessings.
I lost my dad 13 years ago, and I remember that first holiday season without him was so tough. The grief never leaves but it does get easier to manage. Cake helps too 🙂 Sending hugs to you on your healing journey
I’m so sorry for your loss. My mum died 2 years ago, and in the hard moments I find myself also baking as a coping mechanism.
Your bakes look delightful, and I wish you all the grace and comfort in the world.
Sorry abt ur mom. Sending comfort and hugs 🫂
Those are the smoothest cookies I’ve ever seen before.
My grandfather passed away this year and we liked to cook together. Baking makes me feel like I’m honoring him
Those chai biscuits look incredible ♥️
Baking through the pain is what bad bitches do.
Sending you hugs and love
My mom died last year – and man she loved Christmas. I did too, up until last year. Now I can’t face it. It’s so hard. My kid made me promise we’d have a “real Christmas” this year so I’m doing my best. Mostly making cookies, but I’m going to make this pistachio cake too – she’d have liked that
It honestly IS too much to still have your period after your mom dies. Not ok. The treats look wonderful!
I’m so very sorry. Keep baking, keep going.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Huge hugs, and here’s hoping there’s no need to ninja star anyone 🖤
❤️❤️❤️
Sending love🤍🫂🤍
Best way to grieve.
Lost my dad 22 years ago tomorrow. Holidays ruined forever. You get used to it. Cake looks good. I’m glad you’re finding a way to cope in a productive fashion.
I’m so sorry ❤️🩹💔
I’m sorry for your loss. This was me 2 Christmas’ ago. Our mom passed away 2 days before Xmas. Last year we just kind of went through the motions. This year, I went through her recipes and found some things she always made for the holidays and I’m making them. It’s a beautiful way to keep her memory alive for the holidays and for her grandchildren to at least, know her food. The holidays will always be mixed with grief for those that lose loved ones. Find whatever way you can keep her with the family, whether it’s through her food, or playing a Xmas game or watch her favorite holiday movie, or even having her picture at the table. I find it helps remembering the joy in the long run.
That’s shitty 😞 I’m sorry for your loss. Sending my hugs and prayers of comfort your way❤️🩹
I’m sorry for your loss. Everything you’ve shown here looks so delicious. Take care.
Grief is not linear.
With respect and empathy, I suggest removing (day: ?) and just … let it unfold as it will.
🫂
I’m sorry about your mom. Here’s another Mom hug 🫂 .
Friend, you don’t have to do Christmas if you’re not up for it yet. I assure you it’ll still be there next year. You could take a little trip to someplace special and spend the day Not-Christmasing around and, I don’t know but that might really feel better.
Hugs!
I cleaned closets. Hanging up clothes (which I hate to do normally) was the only thing that made sense in a world that kept spinning without my beloveds in it! Grief sucks, but the only way to the other side where laughter and sunshine make sense again is through. You have to feel it. Bake if that’s what helps! Your mom would be so proud of you! Giving you a giant mom hug.
Oh, my dear, I am so very sorry for your loss and pain. When my dad died everyone kept telling me (from a place of love and while genuinely trying to be helpful so I didn’t begrudge them for it) that time will make the loss hurt less…which I found baffling, sad, and decidedly unhelpful. Maybe it’s bc I’m a bit neurospicy, but I didn’t want it to hurt less- my pain was big bc my love for him was big. Sitting with and honoring my grief, my love, felt so important to me.
In case you also find it helpful in the end the perspective I found the most useful was that time didn’t make his death hurt less, but it did make it hurt *less often*. My love for him is still big and still important, even though we’re approaching the 20th anniversary of his death. But I can think of him without the pain of his loss creeping in to drown the memories out (and what a gift it is when that starts to happen!), but every now and then, when I need to, I turn on the one song that brings it all back for me and just feel it. Feel him.
So feel it, bake it, honor your love and pain in whatever way feels most beneficial to you. And know that this mom over here, who has walked a somewhat similar path, is sending you love and light through all of your days.
So sorry for your loss 💔
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️🩹