Güldür Güldür Show 422. Bölüm

7’den 70’e herkesi ekran başına kilitleyen, ekranların komedi klasiği Güldür Güldür Show hız kesmeden devam ediyor.

🔹 Atasözleri Nasıl Bulundu – 2: 01:44
🔹 Amansız Hastalık Yeter: 25:21
🔹 Otelci Paşa – Pazar: 51:02
🔹 Pis Kolog – 2: 01:11:25
🔹 Estetikli Mahalle Abileri: 01:34:40
🔹 Ünlü Annesi: 01:57:25

Ali Sunal’ın moderasyonuyla ekrana gelen ‘Güldür Güldür Show’da Onur Buldu, Doğa Rutkay,
Onur Atilla, Uğur Bilgin, Ecem Erkek, Meltem Yılmazkaya, Erdem Yener, Aylin Kontante,
Mahir İpek, Aziz Aslan, Açelya Topaloğlu, Toygan Avanoğlu, Özgün Aydın, Özgün Bayraktar,
Burak Topaloğlu ve Berkay Tulumbacı yer alıyor.

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Welcome to the Güldür Güldür Show. There will be a meeting here.
Our ancestors will hold a meeting. And some remarks might come up.
We’ve done this before. Now we have another meeting. Let’s see what will happen
at this meeting. Please, come in. Come on, ancestors, come. an2Come, come. Come here, ancestors. -Go on, move along, everyone.
-What’s up, my ancestor? Go on, sit down. -Go on, sit down, ancestors.
-My dear ancestor, welcome. -Go ahead, go.
-Come, come. an2Ata, sit down. Hey, you, don’t sit. Don’t sit. Kumis latte. I feel the kumis in our mugs is running low. an2Go, get us some kumis. Dad, what kumis? I’m an Ata too, you know. Son, becoming an Ata doesn’t mean you were kicked out of the kumis club. Also, if you don’t bring us kumis in the mornings, what will we drink to sober up, man? Come on, chop-chop. I don’t want any fuss. Hüseyin Ata, meanwhile I’d like to ask a favor before the meeting starts. Could I leave a bit early today? My wife asked me to hunt a deer before coming. I don’t want to miss the deer. I don’t know, İbrahim Ata. We have a lot of work. We need to find a bunch of proverbs.
I don’t know. If we finish early, you can leave. Also, what’s this—bargaining before the meeting even starts? She just had a baby, so, you know, to make sure her milk doesn’t dry up. I’m looking out for her, in that sense. Actually, I have something to say about this. -Times are bad…
-Okay, shut up, enough. I don’t want it. Okay. That’s enough. I don’t want it. Obviously something nasty is going to follow that, understood. I was going to say, “Check the milk.” Don’t say it. You—don’t say anything. You always come up with these risky, cutting remarks. Last week I told you not to spread that ‘Unfortunate Bedouin’ remark, okay? I’ve told you a hundred times.
It was so obvious it would be taken the wrong way. Right now it’s spread all over the world. And of course it got misrepresented. How did it spread? I haven’t heard anything about it. Um… The ‘Unfortunate Bedouin’… They say this one’s better than mine. Don’t laugh, you chatterbox, chatterbox. Look at him, rude! And he’s so brazen. Look at his behavior. Because of you, future generations will come and spit on our grave, you know. Friends, I deal with all kinds of your problems. I put up with all your fuss and niceties.
I’m always the one who comes up with the proverbs. None of you contributes anything. I’m tired of this now. One person’s bad habit instantly starts to look like the other’s habit. an2Am I wrong? So you’re partly right, Mr. Ata, really. Of course we influence each other. Tell me who your friend is, and I’ll… Tell me who your friend is,
and I’ll tell you who you are. See, I found it again, do you see? I’m always coming up with lines, man.
I always come up with all of them. By the way, it caught my attention, Ozan Ata, You haven’t offered an old saying of your own in quite a while. I have to warn you now. an2Ama ben… an2Ama ben… an2Atabey… Is there an elder who can’t form a sentence, for God’s sake? Oh, come on. I brought your kumis, Father. If I hadn’t reminded you, you wouldn’t have brought that either. I’m even worrying about your kumis, you know. Uncle Ata? I’m late. I fell asleep. Oh, Uncle’s darling. Only Burcu could ever make me sad, you know? He’s even late to meetings. Doesn’t that upset you? Staying up till morning to come up with an elder’s saying, She might have nodded off a little because she couldn’t sleep. Come here, sweetheart, come. Come, let me see my uncle’s rose. Well done. Who knows how many beautiful sayings you found, right, sweetheart? Yes, I did, uncle. an2Come on, let me see. You sow crops in the field. There’s the sun. An2Topras. Well done! It’s your own uncle, see? Good for you. Ibrahim, write these down. Broadcast all of these proverbs. Keep working, all right? Okay, sweetheart? Oh, ancestors, look — my grown man. I’ve turned 30. At most three more years here; maybe I’ll live five more years, maybe I won’t. I’m so tired now. I want to go on a vacation, but, I mean, where… Hey Hüseyin Ata, we’re telling you to go on vacation. We tell you to rest, but you don’t listen to us. Work isn’t getting anywhere, son. Yes, we also forwarded these complaints of yours to management. So that they can help you, they’ll send an assistant manager today. -What are you talking about?
-Of course. Yes. Damn, so you finally caught a mouse after all these years. Look, do you see?
It doesn’t stop, man, production doesn’t stop. So, who is this Ata? When is he supposed to come? Who is this? Who is he, what’s he like? Do we know him? We don’t know him either. -We don’t know who he is.
-But he’s coming today. an2-Let’s see.
-It’s me. So it’s you… Friends, from now on
I’ll be working with you I’m really excited. Mr. Hüseyin Atam, I hear you’ve been a bit tired. Everything here is mine today.
You can rest for a while. Honestly, I’m very pleased, you know. Welcome, Atam. By God, I’m very, very, very tired.
I feel so exhausted. They dote on me. an2Hüseyin Atam, Hüseyin Atam, Hüseyin Atam. They never leave my side. They love me that much. They won’t like you at first, that’s normal.
Don’t get so upset, ok? Alright. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it. -All right then.
-Yes, everyone, by the way I’m Mesut. an2Mesut Ata. Wait a minute. an2″Mesut Ata”? Are you the one who came up with “neighbors need each other’s ashes”? Yes, that’s me. -I can’t believe it!
-I can’t believe it! an2-Is it him?
-Mesut Ata. -I’m going to lose it!
-Oh, really. I told my neighbor about him just yesterday.
I told my neighbor just yesterday. “Don’t leave today’s work for tomorrow” — isn’t that your saying? -That one too?
-It is. I’m a huge fan of yours. -I’m very happy we met.
-Okay, don’t make a fuss. Yes, dear! Guys, don’t overdo it. Goodness gracious. I’m also Ata, the one who coined “Save the hay; its time will come.” You’ve been working with me for years.
You should be used to things like this. Ata? You still haven’t left? I was going to go, but I didn’t want to leave all of a sudden. I thought it would avoid making a scene. They wouldn’t be able to do it without me. We’ll manage, we’ll manage. You go. Go. No, dear. You’d get upset, you know. No, no, we won’t be upset. Come on, Dad. -Come on.
-Burcu? You’d get upset, my girl. If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay, okay? It’s not important.
Come on, I’ll at least stay for you. No. Go, go, uncle. You go.
I’ll be here. an2Mesut Ata? an2Mesut Ata. You’re muscular. Are you exercising, Mesut Ata?
How is this possible? I drink a kumis “shake” after training. See? You see, the conversation immediately got silly. Even the thought of leaving immediately turned the place into a joke. I can’t leave you like this. Alright then. Since that’s the case, for once I’ll also… Let me teach you the system here,
then I’ll go. What’s going on? You trashed it like that. You became “Panic Ata.” an2I’m fine, I’m fine. Alright then. Let’s get started. Ata, I’ll freshen up your kumis right away. an2Missus… an2Our kumis. an2Is it our daughter? an2-Mizi?
-Your kumis. an2Kinim. an2Why do you use my kumis?
You will refresh it, huh? an2Bilal Ata, I have heard your words a lot. an2You are the most talented person of this group. an2Friends, from now on, everyone
He will buy our own kumis, okay? an2Here you go, my father. an2-We are using our kumis…
-You’re my father. an2No one has ever told me like this.
He didn’t behave well, you know, Atam? an2-And the one who hears it will think it is real.
-It’s real. an2-Friends?
-Yes. Look, so far
you’ve come up with some really nice things. From today on we’ll find
some even better phrases together. an2Okay? Bilal, let’s see. -Say it.
-Um, there’s something… Actually, the favorite of our group
is kind of Burcu. Burcu, come on, say something. an2Tavşan gördüm. A bird won’t land on a person. an2-Butterfly.
-Yes. Those aren’t phrases. You said each word separately. They’re all really bad. You need to work hard. an2Yes Bilal, I’m listening to you. -Me?
-Yes, you’re the apple of my eye. I’m listening. Well, there is actually one, but
I’m still developing it, Mesut Ata. I did tell Hüseyin Ata,
but he didn’t like it at all. Something like this. Ask around and you’ll find Çorum. I still don’t like it. I think it’s ridiculous. I really liked it. It’s very nice. But after all, you’re an Ata. You need to be bolder. Fly. -Should I fly?
-Fly. Ask around and you’ll find Van. Keep going. -Keep going.
-Kirkuk. Go through there. Erbil. Come on, get out of here. an2-Baghdad.
-Fly! Keep asking and you’ll find Baghdad. Well done. That’s it. Bingo! -Bravo.
-It was good. It was good. It turned out well. It turned out very well. Thank you. Found it. an2Baghdad. A father must be brave. Just like you. Thank you, Father. Honestly, it was the best lesson I’ve ever had in my life, you know? Well, Hüseyin, Father, you didn’t like it. My son, you said Çorum.
I didn’t like that. I would have liked it if you had said Baghdad. Father, you really helped him find it. Do you have any new projects, boss? Yes, I came up with something the other day: “eat the grape, don’t ask about the vine.” But I only told one or two people. Let’s just say I didn’t really try to make it catch on. Honestly, I think it worked. “Eat the grape, don’t ask about the vine”? an2-Yes.
-It’s ridiculous, bro. I mean, if I’m eating the grape,
I think I can question its vine. It’s a hit. Don’t go telling people and embarrassing yourself, I think. It’s proven by experience. There’s no chance a saying like that will spread.
It will never catch on. Elders, your food has arrived. an2Mustafa, thank you. Here you go. an2Please, sir, I brought the meat.
I couldn’t bring your kumis, but I brought the meat, nicely prepared. an2I even put more than extra. If you ask why, I had made a vow,
and it was accepted. So I brought this,
but unfortunately I can’t reveal my vow. Do you know what they said? They said, “Eat the grapes, don’t ask about the vineyard.” an2Mesut Atam? Your word has gotten around. How? How? Tell me — who is this person… an2-Mesut Atam.
-Are you my Mesut Atam? Oh, I can’t believe it. I’m totally shocked right now. We share this all the time in every kind of setting. I just shared it on social media. Just now. May I kiss your hand? Oh, I can’t believe it. He wrote it with these hands. Well, I had come up with “save the hay for when the time comes.” Kiss. Come on, kiss. You’re fine, you little rascal. Go on, kiss. You can. Honestly, I’ve never heard that, you know? This is the first time I’ve heard it. Anyway, sorry. I’ll start heading out slowly. Enjoy your meal. I have quite a bit of work. What did they say? Don’t put off today’s work until tomorrow. an2-No? No?
-Mesut Ata? That’s your line, you know. Yes. an2Ay my favorite, my favorite. I had it tattooed here, in writing. From my latest album, yes. Yes, it’s always here. Look, it’s incredible. It’s so beautiful. I’m really a big fan of yours. May I kiss your hand one more time? -Kiss.
-Thank you very much. Thank you very much. We publish it with love. Thank you very much. See you. an2Thing, Mustafa. Bears get the best pears. If you want to spread it, then spread it. I just found it. It suddenly popped into my head. No, the raisin one is fine, I’ll spread that one.
It seemed nicer. Alright then. Enjoy your meal.
Okay, take it easy. Thanks, Mustafa. Thank you. Enough with the chit-chat.
Come on, let’s work a little. Yes. We totally went off joking around.
Any new lines? Let me see. Come on, Ozan, say something. -Did you work on it?
-Yes. Okay. Alright. Let me put it this way. -If it’s ready… a mountain…
-A mountain can’t last on handouts. I like this. Good. -From unity…
-Strength comes from unity. -Who goes hunting…
-The hunter becomes the hunted. Look, guys, while you’re just staring at me, I found three sayings here at once. You still haven’t shown any interest. I’m tired already.
I’m telling you I’m getting tired, you know. We tell you, “You’re getting really tired; rest a bit.” You don’t listen to us. We tell you to go on vacation. No. Your problem is something else, but
whatever, I won’t say. What is it? Tell us, tell. -No.
-Tell us, tell. Don’t keep it inside. Come on, say it. Say it. I mean, I don’t want my ayran to spill… What the hell. Shut up. Shut up. Something bad is coming from over there, see. It’s obvious. I was going to say, ‘have my pants stitched.’ I don’t want my ayran to spill
and I don’t want my pants to be stitched. an2Happens. It happens. As you can see, thanks to me
another new saying came out. an2Have you seen it, Mesut Hodja? This is how we work.
This is our working system. Here, this is how we come up with the words. Yes, Atam. I saw how you found them. But I approach it differently. İbrahim, I’d like to hear you. Of course. There are things like that. A shepherd without debt is better than a poor lord. Debt is the whip of the brave. He who borrows from the grain merchant will soon sell his stable. Alright, İbrahim.
We’ll pay our debt, we understand, okay. We’re not going anywhere, you know. The guy said he’d remind him of his debt,
and in two minutes he’s spouting proverbs. an2Wonderful. Wonderful. Once you find your motivation,
you’ve realized your potential. -Did you like it, Ata?
-İbrahim Ata. You’re wonderful. Thank you very much. If it were up to Hüseyin Ata, he’d just brush me off and then scold me. Not every bird’s meat is fit to eat. -Dad, this is really good.
-I just found it. -This is pretty good.
-Now it’s here. -Very good.
-I’m getting into it. So, who writes these lyrics in the group? You don’t know who writes them, do you? Of course you don’t.
I know who wrote them, though. You don’t know. an2Ibrahim writes. I write, but, you know, a lot of lyrics have piled up. It’s going to take a bit longer now. Just deal with it, then. Now what was it? Yours first… Ibrahim, don’t hit that rock. My head’s pounding. But how will he write without hitting it?
He has to write. After all, words fly away, writing remains. Look, write this down too. -Write it down.
-Right here, right here… Let him write. I’m not saying I shouldn’t, but have him write this. -What’s that?
-What’s that? -What’s that?
-What is it, sir? an2-“Paper.”
-What? an2-Yes.
-“Paper”? an2-Newly found.
-What about “Kığıt”? How do you write that?
-Use the ink. an2-Ink.
-“Paper.” -Dip that quill.
-Yes? Then write. I can’t believe it.
-How? I’ve suffered so much for years, man! It’s swollen, my shoulders are swollen here. I’m going to get one right now. This is really nice. What a ridiculous invention,
for God’s sake. Can it replace a rock?
This will just tear, you know. Let someone use this material in a hundred years. Let them come—may the whole neighborhood kiss me. I think he liked it. And the group liked them too. Group?
Yes. an2So let’s move on to Fikri now. Honestly, in this group who likes what,
what they don’t like, I think I know that better than any of you. Also, I understand Fikri’s way of speaking
better than anyone. What a sneaky one he is! What a little devil! Fikri, that would lead a person to water
and bring them back thirsty. Ah, take notes. Take notes. So, Fikri, what’s on your mind? Don’t cross Namık Kemal Bridge;
you’ll scare the squawking birds… Okay, enough, enough. That’s enough. Enough. I don’t think this is going in the right direction. I was going to talk about planting pine trees. You were going to talk about planting pines, but where you’d gather those cones I don’t want to hear it right now. Isn’t there anything else? Move on to something different. I’m stuck. Fikri, I think you’re stuck
because you’re feeling constrained. Now please close your eyes. I believe in you. And forget everything. Forget all the restrictions. Come here. Forget the bans and boundaries. And say the first word that comes to your mind. It’s very clear, bro. Very clear. He’s going to swear. He’ll say something profane. I know it. I’ll actually swear. It won’t forget, come on. Water sleeps… The enemy doesn’t sleep. Hey. Hey, is your grudge against me? As for me, it’s all chatter — like that lazy barber, Tartar, and whatnot. Just look at the phrase you came up with for this guy. I mean, Mesut Atam, thank you. You broadened my horizons. Man, what horizons are you talking about? My relatives won’t eat dates because of you. Honestly, I don’t even care about your insults anymore. an2Mesut Atam is with me. I want to reply to you with a new phrase I came up with. an2From now on, “Kasımpaşa down from my house.” an2Bravo Atam. Just look at those words. You can tell this is going to spread so wrongly, I mean. Come on, guys, am I wrong? Boss, on my team
I’m all for positive motivation. Of course, you’re old-school. You’re all about punishment. I’m literally being attacked right now. Burcu, aren’t you going to say something? I’ll say something. Mesut Atam,
you’ve been a great inspiration to us. I’ve come up with a saying for you. Looking at beauty is a good deed. Shame on you. Couldn’t I inspire you? After all these years as your uncle,
didn’t I manage to inspire you? You got inspired by that guy? Boss, don’t be offended. Everyone has their own way of doing things. -Look at the guy.
-He really deserves it. Snap, snap, snap.
He just said everything. -Really great.
-I’m not offended or anything. After all, a brave man will speak up. an2Tintin next to it. -What a ridiculous thing to say.
-I got tense; that’s why it didn’t work. I’m stressed right now. Normally I’m the one who finds the best lines
here, aren’t I? Ozan, you are a witness. Honestly, please don’t look at me.
There’s really no such thing. Of course you needed him. Don’t take the oppressed’s curse… Don’t take the oppressed person’s curse; it will come back on you slowly. I found it again. Did you see? I’m always the one coming up with the lines here. We don’t need you, Mesut Ata.
You’re fired, go on. As if you found it, huh? You’re literally saying the things Ozan Ata said. You’re stealing. My heart melted. Oh, thank goodness! Just look at how he’s enjoying himself. Shame on you.
Shame on all of you. I’ll just walk away too.
I’m quitting then. Go ahead. Do whatever you want without me. Go on, leave. Come on. -Isn’t it?
-Oh, come on. For the first time in years, we’re together.
It made us feel like people. My happy Atam.
An Atam, true to an Atam. You’re ungrateful, ungrateful. an2ungrateful. You were a koumiss boy. I took you and made you an Ata. an2I’ll take you away from your koumiss lattes
Didn’t you save it? Where did you rescue me to? an2O even the red in his hand
I just put it. Shut up already, you egotist! May you be damned! By my Atam!
We’re yours now, we’re yours. As you can see
I’m a leader who loves his team. I don’t swindle them like you do.
And I’m by their side. You leave them alone.
That’s why they love me. an2-Yes.
-Well, so be it. I’m leaving. I bid farewell with these words.
With my very famous line. The oppressed’s curse can bring down a king. Get up and go!
I was the one who told you that, you know. I said it this morning. Well, farewell. Farewell. Go, we don’t need you. I’m the new leader of this group.
And I will never abandon them. -He will never abandon them.
-I will never leave them alone until I die. an2Thank you, Mesut Ata. -Be well.
-Be well, my leader. Someone came. -A messenger has arrived.
-Who? Sir, I’ll send a messenger and leave immediately. I can’t get a hold of you. I have a messenger friend outside.
I’ll tell him too. Sorry. It spread by word of mouth. Friends, I’ve been approached by a new group called Ata. They offered me a deal to write for them. -Really?
-And it’s a generous offer. But of course you… I won’t disturb your dynamic.
I’ll leave you alone. an2Goodbye. He’s leaving. -What?!
-I’m leaving. Oh, it’s going. Huh, is that how it happens? -It left.
-Oh no. Uncle. Uncle. What are we going to do? Do whatever you want, man.
Weren’t you happy without me? Hüseyin Atam, we did something foolish. Look, you’re our elder. -You’re thirty.
-Yes. Come on, show us some greatness,
forgive us. an2-Come on.
-Ok. I don’t know. Atam, you must be tired now,
you must be thirsty. I’ll bring you kumis.
I’ll bring it right away. Can you believe that guy? He left without even looking back. Yeah, feed the crow… Feed the crow… Feed the crow… It’ll peck your eyes out. Oh, come on! Yes, how nicely it turned out. You liked it very much. We had a ‘feed the crow and it’ll peck your eyes out’ situation, right? -Yes.
-Feed the crow and it’ll peck your eyes out. What do you think? How do you like my line? I found it magnificent. You thought it was very good. Alright, fine. Go ahead and write this down. Then let’s go — buy me some compote or something and win me over, you meatball-eaters. Of course. Of course, my father. Of course, my father. Hey Fikri. We’re stuck with this again, son. What are we going to do? There’s nothing we can do. You can’t open an umbrella that’s already caught someone’s eye. What’s up, brother? So what’s your deal, man? What kind of transition is this, from here to here? There was meat on our nose. We had it removed. This happened to us because of you. Why because of me, man? You said it was a minor procedure. Our descriptor has turned into a multiplication table. an2I’ve changed, Çiçek. How much could you possibly have changed? What’s up with you, man? Whose neighborhood are you in
and who are you extorting? Probably Kim Kardashian’s. I’ll beat you with a sunflower seed right now. Hey man, stop. Your filler is going to shift. I’ve thought a lot about whether to break up or not
but seeing you like this… Yes? …I’ve clearly decided to break up. Let the words you say
reach your ears, damn it! -What if I don’t hear?
-Don’t hit my face. I just had it done. Those eyelids of yours,
you’re going to have them fixed. How do you go out in public without getting “Fox Eyes,” bro? Thank you very much. Now it’s like a laboratory where a scientific committee is doing special work, We’re in a place like an experiment room, sir. And they have a patient with behaviors that can’t be explained. And they’ll try to explain these behaviors and assign them a scientific name. Let’s see what happens. Please come in. Yes, everyone. We are facing a mysterious case. If we solve this illness, we’ll be known around the world. Yes. an2So what is the data we have,
Ms. Çiçek? Doctor, here’s the situation. The patient suddenly screams “höst” out of nowhere. Then after that they go “vrrrr” and then startle, saying “ayy.” Quite mysterious.
-Yes. Doctor, I think it could be
Tourette syndrome. I don’t think so because
it’s inconsistent with the patient’s symptoms. Really? Then did you check his
coordination and reflexes? Doctor, the Romberg tests are normal.
But now let me show you this. The patient sometimes suddenly goes limp,
like a sack. I mean, he just collapses like that
out of nowhere, doctor. -Really interesting.
-Thanks, doctor. -Here you go, here you go, here you go.
-Thank you. Quite mysterious. Really interesting. Maybe we’ll discover a brand-new disease,
folks. an2Teacher. Maybe we’ll win the Nobel. Maybe this disease will be named after us. Wow, Doc, will we make it into the literature? -Maybe we’ll be taught in textbooks, just imagine.
-That’s great. Doctor, when we go to Norway to receive the Nobel, my aunt’s family will be in Oslo too. Shall we stop by Oslo as well? Bahadır, you’re talking nonsense. You’re talking nonsense, Bahadır. Don’t try to mix the Nobel with my aunt’s family. We’re talking science here, okay? We’ll solve this case. Now let’s go listen to the patient’s story, everyone. -Record everything.
-Sure. Mr. İbrahim, get well soon. Thank you, doctor. Sir, first of all, these symptoms,
when were they noticed? Well, sir, this first started… Sir, this happened all of a sudden.
Why did this happen? -Really strange, it just… happened suddenly.
-Yes. I’m here. Hello, scientific world. Enough, I’m his wife too. -Welcome, my love.
-Thanks. You can’t find it, can you? There’s no brain, basically. You keep searching and searching
just an empty black hole. We’ve been searching for so long, but we couldn’t find it. There’s no remedy, really. Without a brain, he makes these empty, pointless movements. But I said medicine would find it. I trusted the professors. I came. You made the diagnosis, didn’t you? Alright then, they found the illness. Okay, okay. There’s no brain. No, of course not. How could that be? We haven’t been able to solve the problem yet. We were just listening to Mr. İbrahim’s story. Yes, he just can’t tell a story. He doesn’t have the ability to tell it that way. I came because he couldn’t tell the story. For example, if you tell him to tell a joke, he can’t. Let’s give it a try then.
Mr. İbrahim, could you tell a joke? Kid, is it your turn? -So, one day Temel.
-Which day? an2-Huh?
-“A basic day.” What day is Temel? -Well, Temel on a Wednesday…
-Which Wednesday? Which Wednesday? “One day Temel…” Which Wednesday? -Temel, a Wednesday in January…
-Which one? Which Wednesday? There are a lot of Wednesdays in January. Temel, in January… January 23rd, Wednesday— Not Wednesday, January 23rd;
it actually falls on a Friday. The joke ended before it even started. The end. -No joke, he can’t tell it.
-Yes, that’s right. I can’t even tell a joke, man. I told you, he can’t tell it. I mean, if I hadn’t said it… He’s started again. Like a milkman’s horse.
Those ones, right? Hasn’t he done them yet? Haven’t you given those effects to the professor yet? -No, they come now and then.
-Do they? They come sometimes. See? He just can’t tell it. I told you. What are we going to do, doctor? Look, look. Look, professor. It keeps going like this. Look. Exactly like a sack, he just left it like that. -Professor, I…
-Take this, son. I think the electrical signals going to the muscles suddenly stop. I actually have something on my mind. I’m thinking something too, but… -Really?
-Yes, but I want to be sure. So I want to continue talking with Mr. İbrahim. Yes, Mr. İbrahim, I’m wondering where these symptoms were first seen? -So at first we went to Antalya…
-These symptoms first appeared on the, uh… Wait, hold on. Let me speak too. These symptoms were first seen in Antalya. So they said we should go to Antalya. When I say Antalya, I don’t mean the city center exactly. There was a blocked section just before entering Antalya. I have no idea. Oh, right there. He said, “Let’s go on vacation.” When I say vacation,
it’s not really a proper vacation. Some ridiculous, tacky place. He was like, “Let’s do it like a luxury tour,”
When I say luxury vacation, It’s not really a luxury vacation.
But he calls it a tour. They do small things like that.
He means different ‘necessity’ tours. Anyway, he said, “Let’s go there.” We boarded, you know, on the bus.
A big bus. But when I say bus,
it’s not exactly a bus. There was a small space. They put one chair,
and you sit there. Anyway, we traveled that far.
We went and then came back. They call it a hotel.
But when I say ‘hotel,’ it’s not really a proper hotel. I mean, it’s not like a boutique either.
They’ve put that in a different category. So that’s the kind of place we ended up at. Anyway, there they’d be deciding whether to take us in,
going back and forth — taking us in, then not taking us in. We waited there.
Then they said, ‘Go inside, check in.’ There’s a reception desk. -When I say ‘reception,’ I don’t mean a full reception…
-It’s not really that much of a reception. Yeah, literally one table, just one.
They put a guy there; he’s just sitting. He says ‘welcome’ and stuff.
But he says it kind of sloppily. He passes out every now and then.
Of course I was embarrassed there… ‘Come on,’ they said, ‘let’s let them in.’
Even though they said to let us in, -Not exactly. Up there.
-No. Anyway, we walked from there,
we came right up to the hotel, Then they said, you know,
‘we’ll take you to your room.’ When I say ‘room,’ it’s not really
what you’d call a proper room. They’d put something plain like that. You’d think it’s a room.
You’d think we’d stay in it. Anyway, it kept tipping over next to me,
making “bürsler” sounds and stuff. Anyway, they let us inside.
They said it’s all-inclusive. All-inclusive.
You know, “all-inclusive.” That’s how it is, everyone knows. You get your breakfast, lunch,
your dinner and so on. When I said “all-inclusive,” it’s not exactly all-inclusive. Not really. They put a few little things like that. You take it from there like that. They call it “overlux” a lot. It’s not exactly like that, though. Anyway, we were like, “Let’s go then — all-inclusive.” Come on, İbrahim, will you go? Do you go, or should I? He “bürs”led. After that, they handed it to us. Only rice pilaf and halva. an2Hah, rice pilaf and halva. What are you doing, man? Man, did you pull rice pilaf and halva out of this whole conversation? Are we going to win a Nobel with this? an2Write something.
Nutritional and gastronomic fanatics. -Okay.
-Yes, we’re listening to you, sir. Yes. Mr. İbrahim, go ahead. What were you saying? an2Here it is in Antalya… When you enter the hotel, we say that. After entering the hotel they said, come on up to one of your floors… When I say “floor,” it’s not exactly a floor, you know; just a normal thing. Anyway, we moved on past that. They say they’ll bring your suitcases and such. They ask if you have suitcases, but a suitcase isn’t exactly a suitcase, you know. We just brought something like this.
He isn’t really wearing anything anyway. He always walks around in the same vest. Anyway, they took us.
We went inside. Oh, I’m really struggling like this. Oh, I’m starting to feel suffocated inside, Around here and such,
there’s always some kind of problem. Oh, did she faint, did she fall,
or, like, have a fit. Anyway, we moved on. There’s a window in one of the rooms. When I say window,
it’s not exactly like a window. I mean, think of it like a small hole. You know, like a keyhole.
You look through it like that. I want to look through it like that
but at the same time I’m looking at this. This one’s done for.
It’s just lying there like a dead fish. Look at it lying on the bed like a geranium.
That’s how it’s lying. Sounds are coming from downstairs. When I say ‘sounds’, I mean like this…
That’s not a sound. Fun sounds.
I’m peeking through the hole like this. I say, ‘Oh, what could these sounds be?’ My back is turned to it like this.
Where am I supposed to turn? If I turn my face to it, what good would it do?
If I turn around, what good would it do? Anyway, look now. Don’t, don’t. Wait, I’m still explaining. Anyway, people are having fun down there. I can see there’s excitement. When I say ‘young people’ like that,
they’re not exactly young. -Not young.
-Things like this… They’re having fun like this. They crank up the music. When I say they crank it up,
they’re not exactly cranking it up. an2It’s normal music. People are like this, with enthusiasm. The entertainers are shouting. “Come on everybody.” “Come on everybody.” The entertainers are shouting, calling out. I’m watching from over there. “Come on everybody.” “Come on everybody. Come on everybody.” My insides are burning.
There’s a motor inside me. It runs, it’s like a fire. -But it’s not exactly a motor.
-It’s not exactly a motor. So it’s not exactly a motor. He works part-time now.
You know. After that, whatever. I’m just looking from over there. They’re like, “Come on everybody.” I looked at İbrahim like that.
What’s that face about? “Nobody, nobody.” But then I went down to the poolside. We went down. I’m telling the story.
Hold on. Why are you cutting me off? Why are you talking so much? Give me a moment. Let me tell it. Look, all these big professors
are listening to me. an2We are here to listen to me. Stop. We went down to the poolside. Then he says this. So I was going to get into the pool…
Where are you getting into the pool? When I say pool,
it’s not exactly a pool. It’s a makeshift pool. There’s a group of entertainers there. By “entertainers,”
I mean the kind who entertain. At holiday resorts. You know what I mean? They entertain young people. They call us over and stuff. They released fog. A big fog machine. It’s not full-on fog… Where is this coming from now? What does this even mean? What does this mean? Then they put out that fog. When I say fog, I mean little puffs…
That’s how they do it. This caused excitement.
When I say “excitement,” it’s not exactly excitement. How excited will this make them. He said, “I’ll get off.”
The animators threw themselves down. They’re doing something. They’re rolling on the ground, the animators are watching. -The Japanese came. When I say Japanese…
-Not exactly Japanese. They have those traits a bit.
Their eyes are small and slanted. Like from Korea and such.
They come from that region. They pulled out their cameras like that. They think this is something.
They think there’s some kind of show. They say, like a buffalo,
something came and is doing things. Oh these… the Japanese are filming, filming. Oh, we were embarrassed in front of the whole hotel. Oh, oh my dear… Honey, you didn’t explain that. -I told you. I just explained that a moment ago.
-No, the thing… -I told everyone we were embarrassed, I told them.
-Um, that thing… See, I told them about that. Before that, when we went in,
they were already saying that. First, that reception… I already said that. What else is there to say? I told you. I told you we came in with the suitcases. Um, that… the room, the room. -“Room, room, room” What? There wasn’t an elevator.
-Was there no elevator? They didn’t let you ride the elevator. “What’s this?” they said, an elevator for this… Kick it,
let it roll away, they said. -No, room service…
-What? There was no room service. -Room service didn’t call us.
-That window thing… That ‘window’ she’s talking about is that window.
I just explained it a moment ago. -The thing, by the pool…
-There isn’t anything I haven’t told you. I already mentioned the pool area a moment ago.
I described the pool area five seconds ago. -The thing, at the buffet ours…
-There’s a fog machine. -At the buffet…
-I told you there is no buffet. He’s saying that. I said there’s no buffet. -But later the Japanese…
-I already told you about the Japanese. I said they filmed it
when the Japanese saw you. -On my thing…
-What ‘thing’ of yours? I told you, didn’t I. I said I saw you.
-No. There was a taxi stand at the hotel exit… There wasn’t a taxi stand at the hotel exit. -There were no taxis when we were leaving the hotel.
-In front of that place… They picked us up with a regular bus,
we went by tour bus. On the weekend… Actually we boarded at the end,
we had gone before that, you know. We went before that.
We didn’t go there on the weekend. Play the sax, will you? Start it, will you?
Did we go there before that? They told everything, that’s true. I’ve never seen anything like that. So nothing is missing.
I told it exactly. But he’s going through something like this. Something like this is happening to him. I really don’t know.
What’s wrong with it? I check everywhere, I look closely. I’m trying something… -He can’t fully explain anything. Why?
-He can’t fully explain anything. -Even the man understood, right?
-Yes. He can’t explain it. Look, he really can’t explain it. He can’t fully explain anything. an2-Why?
-Right? Why? Come on, you started a sentence—finish it, man. -Really, why?
-Why? Doctor, could it be caused by the fog machine? What does that have to do with the fog, man? Even if I call it fog, it’s not even fog. He understood me. Doc, could there be a trigger tied to an audible alert? There is a trigger tied to an audible alert, but… I wonder what that sound is. Now, now, hold on. Hold on, don’t get into it. Stop. He fell. His jaw dropped. His jaw dropped. It dropped. -Then we’ll do it like this.
-We’ll do it like this. One minute, sir.
One second — first we’ll do it like this. Now, if there is a sound and it’s triggering… Now there’s a question mark in all our minds. -All right, then.
-So what is this sound going to be? So it has to be a systematic sound. So it won’t bother you only at intervals, right? It’s just nonstop. constantly hammering it into his head like that, we say it ‘repeats’ by pressing it like that. You know, a sound that comes in as a ‘repetition’. Which sound? Whose voice? No, there is no such sound. -Whose voice, right? Yes.
-Yes. Whose voice? The voice of what? Yes. Then we do it like this. -What shall we do?
-We will continue with Mr. İbrahim. Excuse me, if you allow me, I’d like to continue with Mr. İbrahim. Of course, sir.
What did I even say? Yes. -Continue with Mr. Ibrahim.
-Okay, then I’ll… -I’m continuing with Mr. Ibrahim.
-Yes. an2-Teacher?
-Mr. Ibrahim. I’m wondering,
shall we move on to physical problems? Yes.
-Do you have any pain? -Yes, it happens. Yes.
-There’s quite a bit of pain. -Where, sir?
-There is quite a lot. Where is your pain? -Here.
-Right here. -Here.
-Right over here. -There.
-Exactly there. Sometimes it starts in the feet. It shoots from here. If I thrust this area with force,
there are inner parts, you know, the insides. The pain is right here. The pain radiates from here, springing outward. It winds around from here. Turn like this. From the back here, from the spine. It reaches all the way to here. It picks it up from there. It affects the ear. It causes a kind of pressure in the ear. It hits the eye. It originates from the eye. The pain comes right from here. It wraps around. It affects the hands, the fingers. By directing it here… It goes around through the spaces. Look, exactly here. This area, you know. Exactly there. I mean, it’s a science, so it’s not shameful. -Because it’s medicine, there’s nothing shameful about it.
-It went like a sack, doc. Now it’s continuing from here, from here. That pain is coming from here like this. It’s picking it up from right there. Turn like this. Turn all the way, then, so they can see. The pain came. It’s licking here, it’s licking, sir. The pain strikes here… Look, it’ll start any moment now. an2Neck… Right here, right at the eye… We say, um, an2sinus, we say sinus. The sinus is above the nose. It comes and hits that spot. It’s hitting my head too, doctor. Doctor, in that case I’ll write, “it hurts all over.” -“Conspiracy.”
-Compl. -“Conspiracy” is a pain.
-Yes, okay. an2Okay. Write, kid, he’s licking… Uh, oh… -He’s hitting.
-Well, he was hitting. -So here’s what we’ll do.
-How should we do it, sir? May I? Please, come this way. -Let’s take you over here.
-Sir, what do you mean by ‘not allowing’? You are such valuable people. I mean, the great people of the future,
the great people of medicine. Shall I sit, sir? I’m sitting. an2Yes, yes. an2İbrahim Bey? Mr. İbrahim, for example… Yes? You… You… What makes you feel good? For instance. Do you like music? -Music?
-He doesn’t like it at all. He really has no interest in music. -Enough, ma’am!
-He wouldn’t know about music. -Enough, ma’am! Enough, ma’am?
-Yes? Yes? -Enough, ma’am?
-Yes? Yes? an2We have it. I asked Mr. İbrahim. I won’t say anything, sir. I kept quiet. I kept quiet. Always going on about medicine… -Mr. İbrahim.
-…they demean a person. Mr. İbrahim, I was just wondering, for example, music. Say, do you like pop? -Do you like rock?
-Ask her. Is there any pop? -Rap. Do you like rap?
-Rap music. Why would he ask you what rap is? Just take it. Rap. No, no.
Oh come on, rap music… an2-Well…
-For God’s sake. -No, no.
-He doesn’t even know that rap is music. an2No. What difference will it make? Pointless talk. We came here and we’re getting embarrassed, you know. That’s enough, ma’am! Could you be quiet? I didn’t say anything, man. I didn’t utter a single sentence,
please stop, for God’s sake. So, under the pretext of science,
I am also a woman, a person. I’m being oppressed. I didn’t speak at all. So, as the patient’s aide… I didn’t say anything.
When you tell me to be quiet, I’m the kind of person who stays quiet. I came with training that taught me what it means to be told “quiet.” When someone tells you to be quiet, you be quiet.
You told me to sit down a moment ago. “Sit there,” you said.
“Quiet.” Well, yes sir, of course. I put my bag down. I stayed quiet. While you were asking questions there I myself…
I mean, I know music. As if I didn’t know… So that’s normal. A person’s inner voice. -I was talking to my inner voice.
-Hey, would you shut up? Doctor, are you okay? -Doctor, are you okay?
-Doctor, are you okay? You look like you blushed.
Please sit down, doctor. Hey…
You just don’t do that. The woman is telling me she’s been quiet for five minutes. I expect this from everyone… Here’s what we do. Scientific committee. -Scientific committee. Meeting.
-Please. -Meeting.
-Hey, where are you going? -Take this, seat him.
-You go ahead. Please. I’ve never seen anything like this. an2-Yes. Yes.
-Yes. Doctor, what happened?
Were you able to find the cause of the illness, doctor? We found it. We found it, we found it. My child, write it down. Write it down. The woman ate the man. Professor, should I take notes like this? an2Yes, yes. Like a carton of juice,
she sucked him dry and finished him. She ate him, ate him, and finished him. Write. Ate. Ate, ate, ate, and finished. But professor, with this ‘ate, ate, finished’… an2We can’t get the Nobel Prize, sir. What if we called it “Neurological Korvelus Syndrome”? “Korvelus” won’t work.
Look, ate, ate, finished. Finished. Oh, the man is finished. Here, take this. Take this. What happened? Madam, what’s wrong? -One second. One second.
-What happened while we were here? -It had never been this bad.
-One second. Mr. İbrahim, could you take care of it? -Yes, one second. I’m getting this together.
-Put this back on… -Let’s put this back on.
-Okay. an2Okay. Where were we? He just ate it all up. But yes. “I said ‘Korvelus’, I suggested we call it a syndrome.
Wouldn’t that work?” I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about a Nobel or anything. Look, I’ll prove it to you.
He ate it all. -Do it…
-What? Get this woman outside, boy.
Okay? Do it… Put her on the bus, send her off. -Come on, do it…
-Is that what you’re saying? -That’s enough, ma’am.
-That’s impossible. -We’ll take you outside, please.
-My heart is still broken. No, no, just outside…
-My heart is still broken. If we take you outside…
-Just a second outside. But I didn’t do anything.
-Yes. He told me to sit.
Look, I’m here to sort things out. -The man is falling apart. When he falls apart…
-Yes, yes. That’s right. -Yes.
-…I’m trying to put him back together… -Take this, take this.
-Enough, ma’am, you can be a bride with me. -But he’s my patient.
-If you step outside for a second… -But he’s my patient.
-Yes, we’re patients too. -If I’m not here now, we can’t steer science. -It has nothing to do with you. Please, we’ll take him.
-Absolutely. -Have some tea if you like.
-No, where am I going out to? Him… -Right over there…
-Mr. Bahadır will show you. -I’ll show you the way…
-No, I mean I didn’t say anything. -Don’t take it personally at all.
-No, no. Patient-doctor confidentiality. -Don’t take it personally.
-Wait a second. Why would I take it personally? -I didn’t say anything.
-Oh come on. Nothing at all… I was sitting. I’m a relative of the patient. -Of course.
-I’m trying to get things together… -You’re absolutely right. One moment.
-It’s falling apart, you know. -Please, go ahead this way.
-Just give us a moment. -I don’t understand why I was asked to leave.
-Of course. I’ll explain. Because I didn’t say anything.
I was here for science… I know. I know. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take this. Take this. This way, please. So, Mr. İbrahim, how are you feeling right now? Honestly, I feel good right now. -It’s good, I mean.
-Isn’t it? There doesn’t seem to be any problem right now. I’m myself, you know. Quite well, thanks. Could you explain that a bit more?
Could you tell me more, with a detail? -I mean…
-How? Honestly, it will sound really silly
but you asked, you know. -Like, that illness inside me…
-Yes. Like, it came out of here
as if accompanied by Mr. Bahadır. It went out the door like that and got on the 500T. Like slowly, like
stopping and going, the illness seems to be moving right now. -I understand.
-Something like that, yeah. I understand.
Doctor, doctor, the cause of the illness is clear: his wife. But if we put her on a 500T and send her away, If we say we revived the patient that way,
we’ll never win a Nobel. -We weren’t going to write it like that anyway.
-What? an2″Syndromea Torbaikus Yeterus.” an2-Mr. Ibrahim.
-Here you go, sir. -What happened?
-Sir, we’ve identified the problem. Oh, come on. Because your wife has dominated you
your whole life, because you were under that pressure
these kinds of symptoms developed. “You’re whining,
you’re scared, you’re sulking.” -Exactly.
-Ahem! But why are we stopping for no reason now… an2-But sir, well…
-Wait a second. -You cannot enter.
-That’s enough, ma’am. I’ll be here. I’ll come here. A woman came, the symptoms started
because of the woman. an2Not al. You’re keeping me outside. This is pretty much, I mean, in the name of science,
what’s been done underneath That this is a very big mistake
I can perceive. I have that kind of intelligence, too. -This says it’s empty.
-Write ‘because of the woman’. -Write ‘because of the woman’.
-Because of the woman. -His spouse, because of the woman.
-Write ‘because of the woman’. You see what they’re doing to me, right? They kicked me out or whatever.
That’s how they’re treating me. Like I’m some kind of extra, you know. He looks me in the face and says, “Because of a woman.” As if I was the one who put you in this state. As if by talking
I’m the one making you go through this. Could something like that be possible? Huh? Could I be bothering you? Huh? Look at me.
Or do they want us to split up? Do they want us
to get a divorce, man? -What am I?
-My man. Huh? an2My man. Hey! Are you trying to mess with my wife, huh? There.
I’ll burn it down, I’ll destroy this lab, man! I’ll destroy it, I’ll do it — just so you know, man! He’ll destroy it, he’ll destroy it.
Professor? I’m noting, “He can come up with ideas when he’s trying to win his wife over.” Well, I mean, the situation is pretty clear. The woman has “sucked the life” out of the man. She really destroyed him.
What is he saying? This is really shameful. Look. My in-laws, my sisters, I mean, when I say my in-laws, it’s not exactly from her mother-in-law either, Many people tried to tear us apart. But they never succeeded. My man and I have a very different relationship. -They really tried to save the guy.
-Man! What? an2Hocam? I’m writing down “has contracted an incurable disease.” You take notes, take notes. You take even more notes. What else are you going to note, do you know? What are you noting? He obsesses over that too. As if I couldn’t make you hear me. This is very shameful. You can’t separate us. We came here for science, right? We came here for science. You’re professors; you’ll help us. Come on İbrahim, we’re leaving, for God’s sake. What business do we have here? Move, we’re leaving. Take that too. Take that too. I mean, this is really shameful. You are respected professors. I did whatever you told me to do. You told me not to speak, so I didn’t. I sat quietly there. You are witnesses to that. What could I possibly have done to bother you? This is very shameful. I have done nothing wrong. I didn’t say a single word. I answered the questions. Because she’s my wife, after all. Because she’s my wife… Whoa! Sir, what are you saying about this situation? Ow! I came to a psychologist, didn’t I? You’re such a knockout.
Where did you fall from, what happened? I wanted to change the subject and make you laugh. But I didn’t laugh. Exactly, I’m taking notes. “Courtroom face.” What’s under your skirt? So it’s a boyfriend! Where did you find this? an2We are all NPCs. I’m cringing right now.
This is total “Max Boomer” dialogue. Apparently the girl was a foreigner. “Erlo.” This weight on my soul has started to feel overwhelmingly strong, sir. I didn’t listen to your last two or three words. I got bored. You dragged it out too long. -You’ll give this up, girl; this won’t work.
-I can’t do it without him. Girl, even your parents manage without it. Don’t lose your mind, for heaven’s sake! Her father gets up at five in the morning and goes to work so she can have this good life. You never should’ve had me. If she had a choice, would she have given birth to you? Look, I’ll leave, and you’ll cry and beg me to come after me. If it were you, would she cry that much over you? Naime sis, that felt really good. I’m relieved, you know, sis? Good. Do you feel relieved? 3000 lira. We’re going to the market. We have that odd guy you already know from Güldür Güldür. He decided to become a market vendor this time.
For various reasons. Let’s see, what’s his reason?
How will this market vending go? Let’s watch, folks. I wish I could buy it morning and night! If I had the money, I’d buy it too! For tea, for soup, put it in the bag! Come, come, come, brother, come! Dua Lipa bought hers from here too. He was left with a 25,000-lira debt. Buy five and get a husband with no mother-in-law! Buy ten and get a balcony box! Figs! Break the chains! an2Hadi gel, gel, gel. -Brother.
-Huh? Isn’t it shameful to shout like that
so loud, man? an2Allah Allah. You shout too, really loud. Let them come to you too. What’s up? Brother, you say that
but the market world is different, you know. Now if one person shouts, the other waits for him,
then shouts after him. Am I getting through to you?
How are you even a market vendor, man? Honestly, I’m not a vendor anyway. What do you mean? Why are you here then? Well, I read an article in a newspaper. It’s about women who are really into market vendors. These market vendors are so laid-back. They’re confident. They can be really smooth talkers. They come off as masculine. Women apparently love them. I came to the market to try my luck. -Are you sick, son? -No. So you think you become a vendor just because women like them? Besides, I’ve been a vendor for so many years, 20 years, I’ve never seen anything like that. Even if you were around for another 50 years, you still wouldn’t see it. You’ve turned into a wrinkled cucumber. You’re not cut out for it. Move along. Are you talking to me?
-Hey, come on. The pomegranate burst right on the branch! an2Hadi ya, hadi. It burst because your brother-in-law was jealous. Come on, folks, come! He showed up right away. How much are the apples? You know what, maybe I shouldn’t give those apples at all.
They’re spoiled right now. an2Why? When I see the bright red flush on your cheeks, they’ve withered away from jealousy. Good heavens, you… Grapes, grapes—do you have any? How much are they? I mean, I’d ask how much the grapes are,
but maybe I shouldn’t give those either. It’s like that right now, too. When I see your beautiful eyes,
the grapes get jealous like this. It sucked in with a ‘hüp’. Goodness gracious. What a shopkeeper, what a shopkeeper… Alright, I’ll take some. I’ll take half a kilo. -Look here now.
-Half a kilo of grapes. What do you mean half a kilo? Don’t be ridiculous. Would half a kilo be enough for this sweetness?
You put in kilos and kilos. Oh, come on. Would it? You buy kilos and kilos of each. You know,
how nicely you’re dressed, by the way. Oh, thank you, thank you. Okay. -Give me some of that, and some of that.
-You’re not stingy. -I’m also putting kumquats.
-Put them, put them. My husband likes them. He really loves them. Put them… What happened? Please don’t block the front of the stall.
If you move… What’s this? What happened now? Everything okay? It’s a whole market, you know. If you’re looking for something about your husband, please, the husband departments are over there. Come on, please. -That’s so rude, what you did.
-Easy, easy, man. -That’s embarrassing. Slow down.
-Is it embarrassing? Am I supposed to learn about shame from you? They hid the rotten tomatoes down there, underneath. And regular tomatoes on top.
They’re ripping people off here. -Oh, this woman is crazy!
-Don’t mind her. Can something like this really happen, man?
What is this? -Could you please leave here?
-I’m leaving. Do I have to ask you? No selling to you. Come on, please. Goodness.
Are we stuck with your loquats or what? You’re the loquat. Look at her. Your carbon-paper-like thing fell here.
Get out of here. -Oh, look at you!
-Move along, miss. -You Shrek-looking guy!
-What’s Shrek? an2-Gulyabani!
-Cadaloz! Move along, sister, move along. -You little rascal!
-There you go, sis. Here’s what you wanted. -Look at that.
-How rude! -She went out in that purple dress.
-Sourpuss. Just look at that. What happened? Huh? You were going to eat a pear — did you bite the stem? Mind your own business. Go, look — there are red peppers over there.
Go nibble on those in the corner. Come on. Watch out, I’ll chew you up right now, okay? Don’t drag it out. an2Come on, come on. Oh mom, I don’t want to meet people like that. I’m telling you, I won’t get married. Besides, I want to find love on my own anyway. Alright, fine. Mom, okay. I’m at the market right now. I don’t want to meet anyone.
Could you hang up, please? Ugh! Um, how much are the quinces? A four-leaf clover. How much are the quinces? How much should they be? Am I the one who’s supposed to say that?
You tell me. Just give something. We don’t haggle here. Give it. Take it, give what you want. Go. Why can’t we haggle, sir? I heard you. You shouted that from over there.
You said, “Mom, I don’t want to.” You announced it to me. Don’t. You’re a disaster. You shameless thing! I heard you. You were yelling over there, calling “Mom,” saying “I don’t want it,” and stuff. Don’t drive me crazy, okay. You’re such trouble. I already got it from there. I could feel it. We’re in something really nice together. -Please don’t ruin this.
-What formation are you talking about, excuse me? What do you mean “what formation”? For heaven’s sake. I’m telling you I understand you. Now we… Look at me. You’re doing nothing.
You’re just taking what you’re going to get from here. Right there is the Green Plum Hotel.
We’re going there. What an amazing conversation. It’s a three-star hotel
but it has a five-star atmosphere, you see. It’s a strange hotel, really. We’re going in right now.
All the rooms are shaped like plum pits, they have beds like that. We’ll talk about it there afterwards.
What we’ll do. -Come on, get up, let’s go.
-What are you talking about, the hotel or the cream… What are you talking about, sir? I didn’t say anything about cream.
You forgot that place and then you did that thing. I think I heard him say ‘cream’ there.
That’s what I heard. Okay, there’s cream too, that’s right.
Cream — all the fruit creams are available. You spread it on top. It smells really nice. -For tonight…
-What are you talking about? Creams included in the price, included in the price.
Come on, I’m telling you. -What are you talking about, sir?
-What are you saying? What are you saying? What just happened right now? “You’re demagoguing me” — that’s what you’re doing to me right now. an2It’s a shame. You came here just now, you said ‘my mom,’ you said something,
you said ‘I don’t want it.’ You shouted it at me.
You announced it — I heard it. You told me, “You are a masculine man. Pull me out of this life, take me, save me.
I don’t want to do what my mother says. Didn’t you look at me like, “Please be my lover”? What kind of a look was that? I don’t know. Honestly, I’ve really cooled off toward you. Can you step aside? I’ve really cooled off
Don’t speak. You can’t take anything.
You can’t touch the counter. I’m not buying from you anyway.
You’re crazy! Okay ma’am, let it go.
She really is crazy. Don’t get involved. Mind your own business. I know what I’ll do.
I’ll report you to the authorities. Please do it, come on.
If you don’t, I’ll be offended. Please do it. What happened? Tell him I preserved myself,
Tell him I preserved my virtue, then give the meat. Fine, should I present myself to you
on golden platters? an2My Türkan Şoray
I have laws, I have rules. You see, right?
Look how he looks when he doesn’t get his way… Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? -Why?
-Dude, is that something you say? Come on, mind your own business, man.
I have a short temper. Do your work. Don’t make me mad. Man, I’ll beat you with a squash, you hear me? What happened? When words aren’t enough,
it’s straight to physical force, huh? Look at this mess, man. We said we’d go to the upscale market,
but we ended up in the ghetto, basically. an2Allah Allah. Come here, man. Come here. Come! an2Can I buy half a kilo of tangerines? Take it. Take it, take it from there. What are you doing, man?
Is this how shopkeeping is done, brother? What are you saying?
Are you insulting my shopkeeping? I’m the first shopkeeper in Turkey. My grandfather, may he rest in peace, was the first grocer. What are you talking about? What are you talking about, man? I’m not taking it. Don’t take it, man. I’m not selling it.
How did I hold it up in midair? You saw, right? Look, it would be really bad. I already know very well why you’re here. -Pull yourself together.
-Why would I be here, son? Orange, tangerine. Why would I be here? Look at me. You read the article, I know. You know women are the ones interested in all these market vendors. You came here to profit, didn’t you? Maybe you’ll think you’ll get some too and wait here. If it falls, take it. I’ll report you, just you wait. Do it then! I’ll report you, you’ll see. an2Hadi, hadi, hadi. I’ll report you, and then you’ll see me. The same sentence… -How rude, man!
-Bro? What kind of model are you? Who do you think you are? I’m the latest model. Look, I’m the very latest model. But you’re the original model, okay? You’re outdated. Shut up. If there’s anything there, chew it in the corner. Don’t speak. You know, look… an2Tövbe ya Rabbi ya! -I won’t bother with you, man.
-If you won’t, then don’t. -Good God.
-Shut up. Oh my God. Good luck. -Thanks.
-Are your mangoes fresh? The mangoes are at least as fresh as I am. Are you fresh now? Be quiet. Look ahead. Come on. an2Mango! There are a few more. an2Mango. Mango. It was a fruit Kerem and I shared. an2″Di.” Past tense. This girl is injured. Like this. Ma’am, come here. Look, I recommend the custard apple to you. It opens a whole new door.
You’ll forget everything old. You start a brand new life. You can take one bite.
You can try my custard apple. No, it’s too sour. I can’t eat it. But you know what? Kerem loved the custard apple. I used to wash him like that every night. I would give it to him, he was very happy. My dear. My one and only. Were you washing Kerem? I don’t understand. an2-The new world.
-Oh, that. But now you’ve forgotten, it’s in the past. Please. -Do we like mulberries?
-Yes, I do. You’re so mean. You’re really mean. Come here, let me tell you something. I already figured that out from you liking mulberries. “I like mulberries” and all. But there’s a way to eat mulberries. It’s really nice. You bite the mulberry from the tip like this. It’s tiny. And you just met them.
They’ve just come into your life. So they’ll be someone exciting. You’ll meet in the middle while crunching. You won’t be able to resist that mulberry at that moment. -Wasn’t that pasta?
-Will you shut up? Jealous! You really said
something so romantic. Kerem also loved that kind of romance. We used to make pizza every night,
we used to make pasta. an2Ah Kerem ya! But Kerem’s ***. Look now… Now, um, look, forget about that. You can’t make a proper grilled cheese with old cheese, okay? I’m going to… an2…I say “carpe diem”. Oh, how could I ever forget? How? Look, for example… Look, look, isn’t it an apple? Apple, just an apple. Actually, this isn’t an apple. This is Kerem’s favorite fruit. Oh look, a kiwi — kiwi is his favorite fruit too. Oh, everything is his favorite fruit. Damn it. You’re really terrible, you know. Want me to tell you how to forget? an2Kivili Hotel. an2-How?
-Kiwili Hotel. How did we get from ‘kiwi’ to ‘Kiwi Hotel’? Girl, don’t be shameless. Don’t you know that hotel? Didn’t you specifically say “kiwi”? You’re getting me excited about it. The Kiwi Hotel is an amazing place. Look, it’s standalone. There’s nothing within a 10-kilometer radius. When you step into the room like that. The whole room is like that. It smells strongly of kiwi everywhere. They made it really nice. They built a shower cabin like that; four or five people can fit inside. You can run into it, hit it, whatever — it’s super sturdy. Scream, shout. No one hears you. There is nobody within a 10-kilometer area. The area within 10 kilometers is completely empty. They also put in some lighting effects.
It creates an atmosphere in the hotel. The lights are blazing like that. After that, if you want,
you don’t want to be seen in the dark. If you want to be seen,
you snap those lights on. It’s a crazy vibe.
Let me just finish up here. -Hop on my arm, let’s go right now, come on.
-Oh, this is so much fun. -Come on.
-Kerem also really enjoyed having fun like this. He had so much fun like that.
Then his eardrum got infected. For two years he couldn’t do anything, my sweetheart.
My one and only. But look at you now… What do you say? Throw away the old, it’s over. Forget that little nonsense. Come on, let’s go, I’m telling you. Let me just take care of my business here. Get what you’re owed from the fruit. The fruit’s over there anyway. Let’s go. Sir, why am I even coming to the Kivili Hotel with you tonight? You’re really awful. It’ll be over soon tonight. Okay, we’ll stay all day starting tomorrow morning. Now come on, let’s go. Sir, what are you doing? You’re playing by yourself here. “I got demagogued!” Why have you been stalling me for an hour? So what’s your aim? You came here, “I left my ex, I broke up.” I want a new love.
I liked you. I don’t know, you said, “Very emotional.” I hadn’t seen a masculine man like you.
Didn’t you say something like that? -Did I say those things?
-No, I said them. Should I believe you, or should I believe my own ear? Oh no, no, you’re crazy. You’re crazy. -I’m not taking anything from you.
-You can’t take anything. Move aside. -I’m not taking anything anyway.
-Step away from the counter. Go around the counter. -I’m not taking anything.
-Step away from the counter. Just look at that. You’re kind of like a blender, huh. You’re scaring all the customers away, kid. Don’t be jealous just because they didn’t come to you, okay? They’re all coming to me.
See? Not a single person comes to you. Kid, look, you’re kind of out of it or whatever
but at this rate by evening you’ll be getting beaten all evening,
look, I’m telling you. Man, I’m a purple belt. Don’t worry at all. an2Is it Magenta? -Heh.
-What is that, man? Why do you care?
It’s purple. It’s not here right now. Nobody can lay a finger on me.
So you can relax. -Get back to work, come on.
-Seriously… Come. Come on, citizen, come! I hope it doesn’t happen to me. Welcome, Aunt Naime.
What can I get you? Thank you, Hayati.
Make it the usual mixed one. Alright, alright, alright. I’ll do it right away. The people who come to you are like these fruits, rotten inside. So, how’s the hotel doing? Honestly, how could it be going well? Right now I’m completely redoing the rooms. All of them. I put a jacuzzi in every room. Between massage machines, this and that, and hiring staff, I ended up doing a pretty big renovation. an2Let’s see. Aunt, do you have a hotel? New around here? You’re not saying. Handsome. This isn’t for you. It’s rotten. It’ll work, it’ll work. Let me take a look first. What’s going on? Well, yes. Down below there’s a hotel called “Love Castle,” you know? That’s my place. I mean, in all the rooms, where we place great importance on privacy, a hotel room where we’ve placed aphrodisiac-themed items. It’s called Love Castle. Auntie, go, don’t cause confusion. Please go. Here, take it. Aunt Naime, take it. I mean… …think about this. Put this on a counter like this… Oh, it got stuck! Take it—take the whole case and go. Come on. So lay this on a workbench.
I’ll come again next week. -Come on, come on, come on. Okay, go.
-Is that okay? You’ll come, hopefully you’ll come. Look at that. He tripped up the Angel of Death,
he’s wandering around in the penalty area. He still has no idea. an2Manyak Mrs. Herif. Look at that woman. -What is this, man?
-Good luck, Hayati. -Thanks, welcome.
-Welcome, come on in. -What’s your problem?
-What do you mean? They say you’ve been mistreating customers. We’re sealing your stall. Pack up. I really didn’t do it, really. Pack up, pack up, pack up. I kept my virtue, sir. Don’t throw me in jail or anything. I can’t be in prison or anything. I have kids I’m paying to educate. Really, it’s a shame for those kids. I mean me… What jail, man? Don’t talk nonsense. I’m not a cop, I’m a municipal officer. We’re going to seal your stall. Sorry. I feel relieved. Take this, man; these don’t matter, neither does this… Can’t you hear me? an2-Auran shouts “my bar, my bar”.
-What? “I’m so tired, I can’t stand up,” he shouts. He keeps saying “spa, spa.” He keeps saying “massage, massage.” -Well, well?
-You look very tired. -Well, well. Is that so?
-Yes. You’re lucky, though. There’s a very nice spa hotel.
It’s your friend’s hotel. an2Gravel Crushed Stone Spa Hotel. We will go there. an2Such a very nice “gravel”. Look. Can you believe it? Look, you’ll feel so relaxed. You liked it. You really liked it. Tell the truth. So you liked it. You’ll be kneaded nicely.
After that, you’ll walk right in. You fly away like a bird. Like a bird. Okay, let’s do this. Come over to our place tonight. My husband is a cop. We’ll help you relax.
You’ll come out like a bird, I swear. Come on. You’re coming with us. Move. Well, people are like birds, you know. Today you’re at the market, tomorrow you’re in jail. Hey, where are you running off to! Hey!
Come here, damn it! What’s going on, brother? You should be asking that, man. What kind of transition is this, from here to here? There was meat on our noses. We had it removed. This happened to us because of you. Why is it my fault? You said it was a small procedure,
our reputation turned into a multiplication table. an2I’ve changed, Çiçek. How much could you possibly change… What’s up with you, brother? Whose neighborhood are you in,
and who are you extorting? I think it’s Kim Kardashian’s. I’ll beat you with a seed shell right now. Hey man, stop! Your fillings will come loose. I thought a lot about whether to break up, but seeing you like this… Yes? I’ve clearly decided to break up. May what came out of your mouth
reach your own ear, damn it! What if it doesn’t hear, huh? Don’t hit my face. I just had it done. You have eyelids, you know.
You’re going to get them removed. How do you go out in public without getting ‘Fox Eyes’, man? Have you ever been given a weird piece of advice like this? Has anyone ever given you an idea that didn’t work? Weird, weird. Look, there’s a gentleman right here. an2-I come from Denizli.
-Ok. I came here once about five, ten years ago. We used the GPS. Back then we weren’t that into technology.
We weren’t really close with it; we’re just getting into it now. We’re going from here to Denizli.
It turns out it has settings. Like, ‘don’t show secondary roads’, don’t show that; we choose that, you know. We didn’t choose; we just went straight in. My God, once we got in… Bursa’s Yenişehir mountains and forests — the road just ended. Normally Denizli takes five or six hours.
For us it took 12 or 13 hours. Goodness. Well today, for example,
I missed the navigation again. I turned back from Anatolia and came back. Did you cross over and then come back? I came from across and I took the photo.
A screenshot. So it’s not so much the navigation as something on your end… -A small mistake…
-It might be. So, what do they call that… You know how some people just don’t click with certain things, their energy’s off… I guess I’m just not compatible with the GPS. -Yes. Is that your spouse next to you?
-No, my daughter. -Your daughter?
-She’s studying in Istanbul. That’s how she is.
She keeps doing it, always saying yes. Look, she’ll say something, let’s give her a turn.
May I ask you to stand, please? Sorry. I was looking for parking. Three and a half, four years.
I’ve been living in Istanbul. I was about to turn back toward İspark when suddenly
I looked and we were crossing the bridge. I said, like,
“Dad, how did you pull this off?” He said, “While I was in Istanbul, I was crossing a bridge.” Nice. At least he’s approaching this maturely. Yes. So, while you were looking for parking around here, did you cross to the other side? Well, um, we were at the bus stop. I thought he’d pull over so I could look at the map and stuff. I saw we were on the bridge, so I didn’t say anything. -Oh, that’s nice.
-We took a picture and came back. Yes, I’m so sorry. May God give you patience, too. -Thank you. It’s enjoyable.
-You can tell… My father is a relaxed person. He wasn’t nervous or stressed at all. -That’s obvious.
-Thanks, I’m very relaxed too. It would have been a problem if it were my mom. Mom, hello, I love you. Is that how it works? Does it really smooth things over? The best. Yes, that’s why we even enjoy mistakes. -Great, great. Congratulations to you.
-Thank you. Thank you. Now we have a psychologist, sir. Resorting to somewhat different methods to resolve matters, they go the route of treating people. Let’s see what the sessions are like, let’s watch and find out. Please, come in. -What’s that?
-Bulgur salad. You talk so casually while eating that. It’s time for the session. Why didn’t you say anything? an2I was eating barren inside, I was immersed. Wait, girl, don’t joke around. Hello. Would you stop? Why aren’t you saying anything, girl? Come on, pick up, whoever you’re calling. Ugh, just hang up. Go on. Don’t drag it out, honey. -Hello.
-Oh, honey. You’re such a knockout. Wow. How did you end up here? What happened? Why did you come? What happened? an2Ee, pardon. I came to see the psychologist, didn’t I? -I’m in the right place.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes. But it feels like I’ve ended up in a strip club… I couldn’t tell.
I asked, ‘Am I in the wrong place?’ Are you okay? Oh, you’re in bad shape. Come here. Crazy. Come here. My darling. “When you say ‘crazy’?
Is that something you say here, ma’am? You must be crazy to have come here, for real. -I’ll smack you, I’ll smack you.
-Oh… How? My pretty.
-Thanks, thank you. You’re funny, good on you.
Well done. Come. Sit down, come on. What’s wrong? What? What did you come for? Come on, tell. Okay, I opened my heart. I started the stopwatch.
I’m listening, my love. I mean, like this. Doctor, I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been in this kind of existential questioning for a very long time. Some mornings I experience something very strange. I wake up and look at the mirror. I can’t recognize myself.
I ask, who is this? -That happened to me too.
-Really? -It happens to me a lot.
-How will we solve it? It happens a lot. Look, I wake up like this in the morning,
and I look at myself in the mirror. I stare into the mirror like this. My makeup’s smeared, my look’s messed up,
my hair’s all tangled. There’s a pillow mark on my face. I go, “Who the hell is this?” Who is this? I say, “Who the hell are you?”
I say, “Your look — I’m into you.” I’m cussing at myself a bit. -Ah, I couldn’t get back, girl.
-Are you okay? an2I’m fine, fine, fine. You’re talking about something like that,
aren’t you? But then I redo my makeup. Perfect again. Isn’t that how it is? No, I’m not talking about that kind of thing.
Look… I’m 40 years old. And for the past two years I’ve been suffering this kind of existential anguish. I’m having gas pains too. -Excuse me?
-Yes. I have gas pains too. My mom cooked fried beans yesterday. And there’s no time here to eat.
I went home and ate. I’m bloated, bloated, bloated.
I’m going to burst out of my pants now. -Go on, spill it.
-Excuse me, ma’am. What does my existential anguish have to do with your gas pains? It has nothing to do with it. I wanted to pull you away from the topic and make you laugh a little, sweetie. That’s my method. But I didn’t laugh. Exactly, I’m taking notes here. Court-faced ***. He doesn’t laugh at anything.
He’s clearly overthinking it. Yes, tell me. Keep going. Look, I question everything.
Do you know why I question things? -You go ahead, continue.
-Because what did Socrates say? -Who?
-Socrates. Is it up to you to shorten Socrates? ‘Sokrat.’ When you shorten it, you drop two letters.
It’s an abbreviation, girl. The man’s name is Socrates. Say ‘es,’ say ‘hıs,’ say ‘us,’
so at least I can follow. -Would that be okay?
-Alright, Socrates. What does Socrates say?
-What does he say? “An unexamined life, is not truly lived as a life” he says, teacher. My grandmother has a saying too. She says, “She married her crazy son off before he got wise,” she says. Do you understand? You made me laugh. Witch! Are you crazy, are you crazy? Please, don’t. Okay, you go on. Tell me, I’m listening. I keep thinking about this, teacher.
Look, why am I here in this life? Why? I’m searching for meaning. Look… -Why in this life…
-Speak up, I can’t hear. I’m turned away. ‘Why do I exist in this life?’ I ask, teacher. I didn’t like my job and decided to quit. I thought everything would get better, but it didn’t. It got worse. I feel like I’m in a crisis. I feel lonely in crowds. This burden on my soul has started to feel unbearably heavy, teacher. I didn’t listen to the last two or three words at all. This burden on my soul, this burden on my soul… I’m not asking you to repeat it; I deliberately didn’t listen. I’m annoyed. You dragged this out too long. -How?
-Here, eat this, come on. -Eat it, come on.
-Excuse me, what is this? Oh, I went back. What is this, teacher? An ideal day’s plate. Look, the right amounts of stuffed grape leaves, potato salad, kisir (bulgur salad) and a moist chocolate cake that’s gotten smeared on them. There is no problem that a day’s plate can’t solve. Good job, girl. Eat, eat.
-Teacher, the cake smells like onions. Okay, that’s the ideal, though. Excuse me, can I ask something? I actually came because I thought you’d take a more Jungyen approach to these topics. You learn, you learn, you come here. I take more of a “yengen” approach. Do you get me…? I couldn’t speak. What does he say, for example, what does Jung say in his book?
How does he summarize it? What does the great master say? “‘Great master.'” It’s up to you to call him that. -But isn’t that so?
-Look, do you know what he says? “You’ll go out into the day, you’ll finish your plate. You’ll play, you’ll gossip. -You won’t think about anything.”
-Jung? an2H-huh. So if he lived here, he’d say that. But because he’s a foreigner, he wrote a book.
The man sat down and wrote a book. I feel sorry for him too. It’s a shame. And also, what you said about Jung’s philosophy is true. I don’t know if this is a method, but your interpretations are that good. Everyone who came left healed. So I’ll describe it from experience. Look, in my life… I’m in a state of existential anxiety. So, why am I anxious? Wow, this stuffed vine leaf is incredible! Close your mouth and eat. Alright, come on. I’ll give you the recipe. Just watch me… Be grateful for what you have, my dear. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe who sits in this chair. I’ve hosted so many people here. an2-Do you know Aynur Baştanbaşa?
-The socialite was beautiful, wasn’t it? an2What happened to Aynur Baştanbaşa… -Now her husband is rich, of course.
-Isn’t that nice. He sells all their property and loses it gambling. Then he cheats on her, of course. -What are you saying, man?
-Oh please, come on. What lives people lead. What a scoundrel. Damn dog!
Is he cheating on his wife? an2-Aynur’u?
-Aynur’u. She’s a total knockout, man. He’s cheating on Aynur.
And after that, well, my life, you know… -He even takes out a loan in Aynur’s name.
-No way! Honestly, he abandons Aynur and leaves. -Look at that bastard.
-He’s running off with his friend. You scoundrel dog!
Tell me, say ‘Aynur’ to me, Say to me, “Aynur filed a lawsuit, she slowly
made the dog suffer,” tell me that. -She didn’t.
-Why didn’t she? Oh, the corners of his mouth
are always greasy, man. Sir, could you tell us about Aynur? I’ll tell you about Aynur.
First wipe the drool off his mouth. This is how we are, darling, we’re natural. What did she do next, tell me ‘she filed a lawsuit.’ -She didn’t.
-Girl, what the hell is this! Isn’t it really beautiful? Come on, let me wipe it too.
We’re siblings, it’s no big deal. After that she didn’t file a lawsuit.
She dragged the man through the mud, you know? -How?
-He came back, the guy returned. Don’t tell me she forgave him;
I’d literally pass out. She forgave him, but wait.
He scammed the man for three months while he was after her. Oh, that dog. All sorts of nonsense. All sorts of nonsense.
He swindled her while chasing her. After that, Aynur, in front of him,
with a hot model… I gave her advice. She went out. What are you saying? She said to the man, ‘Come on,’
she said. ‘Get going,’ she said. Honestly, it warmed my heart… Let the dog suffer. Good for you, girl Aynur. -That’s not a small thing, honestly.
-I’m going to his/her wedding. Yes. Oh honestly, that felt so good.
I relaxed, you know, sis. Oh good. Did you relax? 3000 lira. Pay 3000 lira when you leave. What? How? Why did this happen? Why do I feel so good right now? My dear, you’re shutting yourselves in at home.
Don’t shut yourselves in at home. Open up a little.
Talk to people, socialize. Do a ‘day plate’ one day.
Have a little chit‑chat with your friends. an2You have it in your hand
“whoosh” something… Don’t do that. You’ve shut yourself in at home. Look, the ideal day plate. With enough gossip like this
we’ll get through these dark days, pretty girl. What kind of king are you, seriously? What are you? My sweetheart. Call me, okay? Tell Aynur too that I’m coming to the wedding. -You’re telling me the recipe for this wrap.
-Leave the fork when you go. Wanna hear something?
Screw Jung, okay? You’re calling me. I’m coming next week. -I love you.
-I’ll make lentil patties for you. Oh, okay. It causes gas. Don’t. -Alright, my sister, see you.
-Okay. 3000 lira. At 40, he still calls it ‘existence’ — says it’s painful, you know. First, save up for your shroud, mom. The time will come, my dear. He left the door open. Is he crazy or what? Ah, hello Dursen.
I see, I see. They’re at the door. A relationship? Therapy.
Oh, they’ll swoon over me now. Okay, let them come. Come, come. They’re watching from there. Okay, come on. Come. -Hi.
-You’re so pretty, girl. Close the door, you big oaf! Close the door! -Just look at that beauty.
-We just got married. Look at that beauty, that cutie…
My girl, these hairs… -Do you have lip fillers?
-No. No. Crazy. Very pretty. Come on, sit down. Look, this seat has never hosted
anyone this beautiful. -Thank you so much. You’re so kind.
-Mashallah. an2Mashallah. What’s on your skirt? What’s this? Oh, what’s this? It’s your boyfriend. God damn it. Where did you find this? Not just to make a joke, we came here to solve problems
madam. Oh, she’s so picky too… Alright, it’s done. Okay, come on, I opened my heart,
and hit the stopwatch. I’m listening, tell me, baby. Doctor, you’ve probably noticed it too. In our relationship, there’s a big imbalance
between the parties. We’re speaking openly. I was joking a moment ago. I couldn’t speak openly before, but
since we’re being open… Girl, where did you find this snot? What is this? -What’s happening?
-No, it’s not like that. I mean, it’s not about me being with him,
what business does he have with me? Zeki is a very deep, intense person. -He seems to be concentrating right now, I guess.
-No, no. I’m singing to myself. He’s singing. He’s an intense one. For example, Zeki really likes studying. I study like a total loser. There are a bunch of girls after Zeki.
Who would pay attention to me looking like this? Look at me… Did you put a spell on her? These are such ridiculous comments. Didn’t you hear? Is your brain not getting it? So the problem is… an2Talk! Ayşe has trouble carrying me. -I can’t carry you.
-Yes. Ayşe, did you suffer any damage to your eye, your brainstem, or your brain, girl? an2No, sir. Then why don’t you say anything about what this creature is saying? Girl, why are you staying silent? Are you crazy? Speak up. You ugly narcissist! Excuse me, but we’re not here to talk about my flaws. We’re here to talk about Ayşe’s flaws, ma’am. If we talked about yours, we’d be here until morning. So we’re talking about Ayşe’s, understand? Mind your tone, though. I’m not. What are you going to do? I’m not. Who the hell are you? With your flip-flop look to that beautiful girl,
to that one-and-only girl like a rose Aren’t you ashamed
of undermining the girl’s confidence? Ugly narcissist! Ayşe, what is this?
Is this how a psychologist is supposed to act? Get up, we’re leaving.
What is this? This isn’t a psychologist. an2This is the charlatan you know. Sit down! Sit down! Sit! Shut up, you! You know what, I’ll really kill you. Where the hell is my… Did I tell you the session was over? Sit down! Look at the psychologist, he’s pulling a crowbar.
This can’t be happening. I’ll make you suffer even more,
you don’t know that. Ayşe, you will give this child up. You’ll give it up, girl, this won’t do.
Okay? But I can’t do it without him. Even the girl’s own parents manage without him.
Don’t go crazy, woman. If only it were something cute. Don’t bring this into the house. If you’re raising it in the yard, then keep it there. That’s it. No, don’t bring it home. It brings bad luck. Are you crazy? You’ve really crossed into insult territory now. So you’re insulting me, then. Don’t speak. She ate her up, all sly and fork-tongued
and the girl was left like that. You ugly narcissist!
You always do this to girls. Then the girls get together
and they cry to me here. Don’t speak. Don’t talk unless you’re given permission. So, am I pretty, do you think? You’re like a rose, my love. You’re like water, sweetheart. My dear, you’re very beautiful. Forget about it. I have a cousin, Ersoy. -To you…
-Ersoy. Ersoy. What? an2-I’ll do it to you, okay?
-Ersoy. But for your patient, that is, me,
you’re literally setting up a boyfriend. Yes.
-I’m his boyfriend, you know. an2Ayşe, get up. Get up. What is this? Let’s get out of here, come on. -I’m not getting up, Zeki.
-Huh? -What happened to you?
-Something really wonderful happened to you. I’m not getting up. I’m getting up right now. Yes.
-You got up. I’m not getting up. I’m not getting up.
-Good. I’m fed up with you, and with you constantly criticizing me. Good for you, girl. Go on. Ayşe, don’t come, don’t come… Don’t get carried away by him. You think you’re all that, but All you do is belittle me. an2-Speak, Ayşe!
-I’m talking. If I leave here now, If I freshen myself up a bit,
fix my hair and clothes, I’d enslave a hundred thousand like you at my doorstep. Don’t exaggerate, girl. Be believable with the numbers.
A hundred is enough for you. A hundred out of a hundred. I’d enslave a hundred of them at my doorstep. What is this nonsense? Look, I’m leaving. Watch me leave,
you’ll be crying like a dog and begging me to come back. Listen to those words, those words! Listen to those words. Who do you think you are that this girl would cry like a dog for you? You assume everyone is like that. You will leave,
and we’ll be the ones crying after you. If you were in my place, would you cry that much after me? -Can’t you see what he’s like?
-What’s wrong with my looks? “He says, ‘What’s wrong with my looks?’
How much did you give me? anI gave 23000 liras. 3,000 lira. What kind of psychologist is that? Take it. {an23582. Al. Buy yourself an ice cream too.
Keep licking it all the way out. Take it. From me, okay? From your sister. Come on. Nash. Move! I won’t see you here. Go! Get moving, damn it! Get out, go on! Ayşe, I’m leaving. He’s still saying ‘Ayşe’! Girl, move! Allah Allah.
They’re saying “Allah Allah.” Oh, it’s over. I’m really relieved, honestly. Well done, girl. Now go, treat yourself to a nice pampering. You actually don’t need it. Don’t get me wrong. But go hang out at some bars and clubs, take a walk around. Get yourself out for a bit. Then post lots of photos so they get jealous, okay? Okay, I’ll do it, I’ll do it.
It would be really good for me too. Get up and go. Why are you still sitting there?
Everyone who comes just sits and stays. Leave the pillows and stuff alone. an2-Go.
-Okay, sorry. There’s a session, come on. Send me the photo. Okay. I swear I’ll do it.
I promise, I’ll do it. Add me to that, okay? -I love you.
-I love you too. My dear. That girl’s gone down the drain. What a pity. What a pity. What a pity. Really, it’s a shame. Wait. Send the next one. Come on. Ugh, my nail broke, girl. an2Hadi gel, tamam. You’re dragging it out too much.
Look, I’m hanging up but I can still hear you. Girl, send it! Is she crazy or what? I don’t want it, I really don’t.
I don’t want a session or anything. I was going to play an online game with my friends. I’m fed up with you. I’m fed up with both my dad and you. Like a calf that doesn’t like the barn it came from. Welcome. Come in, welcome.
What are you doing, baby? -Thank you, sir.
-Welcome, my love. -When will this end?
-It will end once it starts, dear. It will end once it starts. Go ahead, tell me your problem. I opened my heart and hit the stopwatch.
I’m listening to you. Honestly, sir,
we just can’t make this kid happy. We have a very big problem. I mean, to make him happy we, I don’t know, bought a brand-new phone the other day. She said, “Ugh, this camera is terrible.” She threw it and broke the phone, okay? We told his father, “I think he has psychological issues.” We thought it best to take him on vacation. We went. Apparently the hotel’s Wi‑Fi was bad. He didn’t leave the room. He’s very unhappy. We just can’t make him happy. Honestly, I don’t know how we’ll make him happy. Look at me. What’s your name? an2Bahadır. an2Good. And I am Naime Haldenanlar. Nice to meet you. Are you? Are you happy too? Come on, doctor, what difference does it make? We’re all in a simulation anyway. You, me, them, my mom. an2We are all NPCs. Do you understand? Why are you looking at me like I’m some ‘beta’? Huh? The more you look at me like that,
I’m feeling really ‘cringe’ right now. This is such a ‘Max Boomer’ line. Oh, so this girl is foreign?
Tell me. I thought she was Turkish. I’m speaking Turkish.
Her dad? Foreign? Russian? AN2″Herlo.” an2″Herlo. Herlo.” an2No, no. Turkish. He’s Turkish, my teacher.
Yeah, yeah. There’s nothing like that. He’s saying ‘cringe,’ man. He says, like, that he thinks you’re old-fashioned. He says he’s ashamed of you. Oh man, until I learned this language
I spent months, months. Look at me, you legless one. an2My “crumbs” of those legs of yours. Do you understand me? Huh? You, look into my eyes. Into my eyes. Do you understand? What’s your problem?
Tell me what it is. What is making you unhappy? What are you missing? You wouldn’t understand. I get up early in the morning and go to school. I’m at school until the evening.
After that, I come back. And on top of that, walking. This is modern slavery. I’m going to be a gamer or an influencer anyway. I won’t work a regular insured job like my parents, all meek. He calls us losers, man. He doesn’t like us. Constantly ‘loser, loser, loser.’ Don’t ask what I’m going through. Ungrateful! His dad gets up at five in the morning to go to work. So he can have this nice life. You shouldn’t have given birth to me. You shouldn’t have. If she had a choice, would she have given birth to you? Sorry. Come on, don’t say that, he’s your child. I wish I wasn’t your child. Well, there you go. That’s a shame. Ugh. What are we gonna do? We’re forced to. If Freud were here now, do you know what he’d say? -What would he say?
-He’d smack him right in the mouth. Freud. You get it?
Thank God the man isn’t here, he’s gone. But if he had been there, you’d have driven him crazy too.
That’s really shameful. Don’t do that again, okay? What’s going on? What kind of session is this? You want me to change, but I won’t. You can’t change me. Oh, really? -What should we do, mom?
-What should we do… I’ll kill you. -It didn’t work. We couldn’t change it.
-It didn’t work. -We couldn’t do it. We couldn’t do it.
-It didn’t work, it didn’t. Here you go, doctor. -Here you go, doctor.
-Oh, his mother. What a lovely mother. His mother is going to cry now. She’ll be very upset, she’ll say
‘I took my child to the doctors’ She’ll say none of them helped. That mother’s tiny heart
will grow in her chest, It will grow, grow, grow, Then it’ll suddenly pop. The woman will leave. Then you’ll cry. Under the bridge arches, walking barefoot. Under the bridges While wandering barefoot If you trip and fall on a stone. Then you say, “My mom, my mom.” Then a voice comes from above. It says, “Mom, are you hurt?” an2Burned, mom. It’s burning, Mom. My dear mom. My long-suffering mom. Doctor, what did you do? Did you hypnotize her or something? an2Or is it EMDR? There is no love like a mother’s, no place like Baghdad. I did that. May God bless you. That’s my method. This is how I do it. That was very good. an2Okay, don’t cry. Go to the bathroom, wash one hand and your face,
blow your nose. Come on. an2Kalksana oğlum. Hey, get up. Go into the bathroom. The eye-peeking method. I picked him up from here,
and took him to the bathroom. an2I saw it, sir. If you want, I can bring him back now,
you know? Have you done this,
tried it, ever done the eye-peeking? -No, never.
-But do it. How should I do it? You’ll take it like this. You’ll say. -You’ll say that. Like that.
-Hah, go on, do it. Do it, do it. Work. It’ll be fine. Right away. Girl, your eye will hurt. -It won’t work right away.
-Won’t it? But look, you’re going to agitate this kid, okay? If he throws any fit at you,
you’ll agitate him immediately. -Okay, boss.
-Some won’t take it. This one did, though. If he wouldn’t eat it, I’d suggest something else. I’d try, but this one responds to agitation. -Always use agitation, okay?
-Okay, boss. This will settle down. It’ll settle, okay? Thanks. Come on, champ, come. Come look, your mother passed out. an2Ana is gone, ana an2Ana bitti ana ana an2My mother. You’ll help your mom. You’ll put that phone down too,
okay? -There will be lots of reading.
-Okay, I’ll read. Mom, I promise now.
I won’t upset you anymore, Mom. -Okay, my child.
-Come on, let’s go home. Actually, Mom, you lie down tonight,
I’ll make dinner. What do you say, Mom? Okay Mom, sure. Okay, my dear. Let’s go. Her bag, her coat…
Help your mom, okay? I will. Do you have your bag? Oh, no, no. I’m doing everything. an2Come, mom. an2Mother, mother You should come by sometime. I’m thinking of a very different method for you. Wait. Girl, I want to tell you something—has the wax warmed up? an2Fetch. Honestly, my mustache is getting in my mouth. I couldn’t talk to people, you know. an2Fourth king. Gel, hadi. Alright, bye-bye. These days, you know, to look younger, to get healthier, to become more beautiful, there’s this whole cosmetic craze, you know, There are some folks in our neighborhood who’ve gotten swept up in that craze. People you’d never expect. Let’s see what happens to them. Let’s watch, folks. Please, come in. Wow! Hayati, the neighborhood’s lovable shopkeeper. Is there any problem? Is there a problem? -Any problems?
-Yes. What’s the problem, tell us.
The neighborhood’s elders will sort it out right away. What’s the problem? My neck hurts. an2Ha, it is. an2Okay. Look, if you have any problem,
you tell us directly, okay? an2He, he, he. Take it with my blessing. Take it with my blessing. an2And bak. You’re doing it, aren’t you? I am, I am, but the kids… I mean, it’s not because I’m being doting or anything,
I’m doing it out of fear of the evil eye. My child, that thing you call ‘göz hakkı’ — I don’t know, you take an apple and go. Why are you taking handfuls of “blueberry” and leaving, kid? The other day you took the papayas and left. Your eyes are always set high, on pricey things. I meant it to say you’re fond of luxury. We’re this neighborhood’s insurance, Hayati. an2Got it? Don’t talk to us about a handful of fruit. Don’t cause trouble. Get lost! Fine, I’m leaving then. Okay, I’m gone. This “blueberry” didn’t do it for me, bro. Aren’t there any seeds? There are seeds, bro. an2Bilal kardeş. Thanks, bro. Thanks, bro. Wait a minute, man. Isn’t that the idiot next to our sister Gülnur? Huh? an2Brother. Come closer, let me see. an2Here you go, brother? What’s up? What are you doing in our neighborhood? I don’t have a job, man.
I have a friend named Gülnur. I left her. I’m leaving, man. You’re going to leave that Gülnur alone, brother. I already left her, I’m leaving. That’s not it, man. From our neighborhood,
you’re going to stop taking girls and ditching them. an2-Do you understand?
-Ok. Now the entrance fee
is 200 lira per person. Then you get out of here. Hurry. an2Okay, brother. Here you go, man. Go ahead, man. Here you go, man. Hey, are you feeling down
about something, brother Bilal? Huh? We would have ripped their heads off for a thousand lira a piece. What’s up? You’re spacing out. Your sister‑in‑law’s been acting up lately. She won’t stop talking. Like I don’t take care of myself, like I look old and stuff. Do you know why, bro? Because we keep frowning at each other, a line shows up now and then. But down there there’s that newly opened cosmetic clinic, you know. -So?
-If we go there they’ll take care of it right away. As the neighborhood guys, are we going to get cosmetic surgery, man? What’s up, bro? Everyone’s getting it done, bro. What could happen? We’ll go, they’ll give you a shot, and it’ll be over. Nobody will notice. You say they won’t notice, huh? Maybe your sister‑in‑law’ll shut up. It’s worth a try. Okay, if we’re seen going in, what will we say? We’ll say we have meat on our nose. We have meat on our nose, huh? an2Hayati abi. We’re going to that newly opened cosmetic center, if anyone asks, okay? We’ll be there, basically. We’ll say there’s meat on my nose, so we’ll have them check it. an2Okay? If anyone asks, tell them. -Give him his due. Good for him. -Give him his due.
-Good for him. Give him his due.
-Good for him. an2Let me have a zikk! Zikkım! Zikkım! 10 hours later. What’s up, kid? Were you checking someone out? Uh, bro, I have a girlfriend in my neighborhood. I bought her a gift.
I actually brought it, but… You said not to ship it,
so I’m supposed to be the delivery guy myself, is that it? No, bro, now after I dropped off my girlfriend as I was leaving here,
I ran into the neighborhood guys. They kind of scared me, so I was hiding from them, bro. I know, I know. I know them. You’re talking about that miserable trio. Claiming ‘it’s just my due,’ they ate from my shop by the handfuls, you know? It wasn’t enough; they go around hugging the kids. If that didn’t work, they’d pick fights with idiots from other neighborhoods. Honestly, I was at my wit’s end, son. Well, well.
So bro, do you know where they are now? A new cosmetic clinic opened.
They went there. Wow. Whoever they’ve gotten involved with now, they’re not practicing medicine, they’re doing straight-up cosmetic work, right, bro? an2No, my son. Like there’s meat on their noses or something; they’d have it removed. Look, don’t show yourself around either; they could come at any moment. – They’ve been there since morning.
– Okay, bro. Alright then, come on. Thanks, man. Well, I’ll be.
What a bunch of troublemakers these are. Look at them, man — a psychopathic trio. Even when they’re not in the neighborhood, they’ve made models to scare people. It’s unbelievable. – Brother!
– Oh no, they’re coming. What’s up, brother? The real question is, what’s your problem, man? I mean from here to here…
What kind of jump is this? What happened to you like this? We had some flesh on our nose. We had it removed, bro. Man, even if you removed all the flesh, even your bits and pieces. I mean, you can’t end up like this. Honestly. But you look great, man. You look cute. Hey, look at me. I’m looking at you, man. I can’t take my eyes off you. You look really good. You guys look like a cute trio, man. I mean, I don’t get it. You… Did a cosmetic doctor do these? Did some tradesman use a silicone gun on you? What is this, man? an2Don’t talk! Get out of here! Hello. -I don’t think I can go very far, man.
-Hang on. I’m not planning to leave because
I’m not very scared of you guys. I actually liked you guys a lot.
You did pretty well. -Brother?
-Yes, bro. You seem thirsty for blood, huh? We’d send you from here not by bus but… an2Wait. Look, we know how to send you from here not by bus but
by ambulance. What happened? Are you scared now? -Can you feel the fear?
-Come on, let’s move on. Yes, man?
What the heck is this? What are we even doing? Seriously, what happened? What happened, man? Are you scared now? Huh? Do you feel the fear? Honestly, man… When I look at it, it’s more like… I feel like I’m in the same tank as goldfish. But it’s nice. It rubbed off on me. How, man? So you weren’t scared of us? Honestly, guys, sorry but… these labels aren’t very scary. I don’t think I was ever afraid of you. Actually, I just bought a gift for my girlfriend, Gülnur, who lives in this neighborhood. I’m going to go give her the gift now. Bro. You guys are a bit scary, though. I’ll give the gift now and go. My brother’s had Botox. Kisses to all of you. All three of you. Especially you, bro. an2″I kiss”? an2Ulan Fikri. All this happened to us because of you, huh. Why is it my fault? Of course it’s your fault, man. You said it was a minor procedure, Our face turned into a multiplication table. What did I do? What did I do? Was it me who said… I look awful. Oh. Your… There’s something off about your cosmetic look. -There’s a problem.
-I mean, this is how it turned out. Did I tell you to get Russian lips? The doctor was very convincing, man. If we tightened this area,
we have to loosen it, If we loosened this area,
he kept saying we have to lower that, he pushed the surgery on me, man. Man… I think we look good, man. Hey, look. No, man. Forget it. Apparently it turned out good. Look at this, man. We went to fill in the space between our eyebrows. They stuffed us like a Christmas turkey. I didn’t get it, man. What is this? Thank God we turned down that thing the doctor suggested. He called it a Mexican butt, you know. Good thing we turned it down. You turned it down, right, man? Take these down too. People are comparing. an2No, no. We’re still the neighborhood’s top dogs. an2You are, for example, Bilal the Severed Ear. Exactly. Trustworthy to friends, terrifying to his enemies: Cut-Ear Bilal. Bro, we’re the real deal of young men. We’re kings among men. We’re real men, man! an2No. an2Ya Mesut. I keep saying I won’t ask, I won’t ask, but bro Did you get your breasts reduced? When I had the belly fat removed, they looked a bit big to me. -Yes.
-I had to have it done. I told him to get a lift done, but he didn’t listen. Ah guys, good thing you’re here.
It’s the first time I’ve got a job for you. Somebody help, please. Or, I don’t know, kid — it’s best if you stay away. What’s wrong, Tonton? What’s the problem?
Tell us so the neighborhood’s big guys can fix it right away. I swear, the mafia’s moved into the neighborhood,
they’ve been extorting the whole place. I thought maybe you’d help,
scare them off, but… Seeing you like this,
I had no idea anyone would be scared of you. What happened to you guys? Why wouldn’t they be scared of us? Kid, I have eight hernias.
Even I wouldn’t be afraid of you. Kid, shut your mouth. You’re drooling. an2Mesut, this way. Don’t worry, let them come. If we have to, we’ll make them lose their footing. Is that so? You’ll make them lose their footing. -Exactly like that, Tonton.
-Yes. Don’t worry.
Go inside and make yourself comfortable. We’ll take care of it for you. -Forgive him.
-Leave him alone! an2Quit! From now on, there’ll be no more taking handfuls like this and walking off. an2Ill-mannered bastard! Don’t make me lose my temper. Pay for what you took this morning, too. -Take it.
-Give it! Give it! Look at this,
we only end up needing people once every forty years, They’re all like a puppet show. Come on, get in front of the wall! Let me go collect that protection money
and at least pull it together. Well, well, look at Tonton. He embarrassed us. I’m really surprised, honestly. Man, these days the only thing we can still do is be surprised. We don’t have anything else, I mean.
We don’t have any scary elements left. Nothing, we’re zero! Fikri, give me that seed, man,
why did you take it back? an2Mesut. Damn, what have we come to. We can’t even crack seeds, Fikri. Man, it’s all my girlfriend’s fault. We got into trouble because of my girlfriend,
now we don’t have any face to show in the neighborhood. an2-Bilal kardeş.
-Hop! The sister-in-law is coming from down the street. Oh no. What am I going to do now? Are the eyebrows and eyes okay?
How am I supposed to talk with these lips? What am I going to do, Mesut? Wait a minute.
Can you grow a mustache? an2-Mustache?
-Yes. -Did it come out? Did it work?
-No, it didn’t. It didn’t work? You’d better keep your mouth closed when talking to the girl. Women love men who listen to them. an2-Okay?
-Ok. -We’re moving over there.
-Okay, go ahead. an2-Aunt is coming.
-Bilal. Bilal. Of course I knew very well
that I’d find you here. Where else could you be?
We need to talk urgently. an2Bilal, now like this. I’ve thought a lot about our relationship, about us
and I’ve decided it can’t go on like this anymore. I know very well that you will never change,
Bilal. I’m so tired of defending you to my friends
and my family. “Oh” huh? And then you act like
you’re really listening to me and you just nod and say, “hmm”… I’ve really become certain once again that, you will never, no matter how hard I try, You will never change. an2I’ve changed, Çiçek.
I have really changed a lot. Oh Bilal, how much could you possibly change… And you… How much you’ve changed, Bilal. Isn’t that right? I changed because you wanted me to, my daughter. I’d burn the world for you. I’d tear everything apart! What do you say? Well Bilal, when I was coming here I thought a lot about whether to leave or not but seeing you like this… So, seeing me like this? I’ve made a firm decision to leave. What do you mean? My daughter, you said, “you don’t take care of yourself,” so I took care of myself. But this time you’ve gone overboard. You should get yourself a partner too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not that superficial. I mean, like thin, fat, I don’t know, short, tall… Like, once I’m in love, I don’t pay attention to things like that. I can be with anyone, but I can’t be with someone more beautiful than me. an2You know, Çiçek. an2You think you are indispensable. I am remembered by those I gave up on. What? an2You think you are indispensable. I am remembered by those I gave up on. No, I don’t understand at all.
You’re saying something flashy, but… an2-You, you think you are indispensable.
-Me? I told you, yes? -Me? Yours…
-But I, I am remembered by those I gave up on. No, I don’t understand anything.
You can’t tell because of the Botox. an2Either walk away from here, Çiçek. an2I understand this. Let me go. -Come on, go.
-I’m going, okay. It’s unbelievable, I swear. an2Bilal kardeş. an2Trouble has arrived. Damn, I’ll beat you with a seed shell right now.
I swear. All of this is because of you. – Why because of me?
– We just can’t keep our mouths shut, man. Look how nice it turned out. – What’s so nice about it?
– Isn’t it, isn’t it? an2Lan drooling, drooling. Hey, guys, stop for a second! You’re going to slip because you’re full. Bilal, um, I’m going to ask you something. What are you going to ask? Do you want to go back or not? No, I mean, that doctor… Oh, come on. They did it so beautifully. Wow, your buccal fat removal is amazing… What about your jawline? Right now, right now
you’re giving me the doctor’s number. Girl, get out of here!
Don’t make him sick. Do you ask about your ex’s
cosmetic surgeon, bro? Okay, you’re very angry right now,
I get that, but Please message me when you calm down,
okay? an2-Flower, for God’s sake, get out of here.
-Okay, I’m leaving. It’s unbelievable. Tonton, what’s up? I’m trying to collect the protection money from those mob-like guys. Whoa! Put that money in your pocket. Put that money in your pocket.
What happened, man? I’ll take it out on them.
You go inside. Go inside. Kid, are you sure?
Look, don’t let them pull a fast one on you later. I told you to go inside.
Lean back and watch us. Is that what you’re saying?
Go inside. All right then.
Come here, Kesik Ozan, bro. an2Come, come, come. The last place we’ll extort
is right here, my dear. What’s your problem, brother? In whose neighborhood
are you extorting whom? an2Let me see. I think it’s Kim Kardashian’s. Hey, kid… Where you’re a spark,
we become the blaze. Yeah. Be a man, damn it! Kid, get your crew out of here now. Or you’ll lose your teeth and your hands. Who’s talking, man? I couldn’t make it out. an2-Hello.
-That’s it. Look, you’re in Cut Ear’s neighborhood. an2Severed Ear Bilal is my name. I swear, I’ll finish you off right here! Bro. an2Vay be. Look, Cut Ear… Your nickname is Cut Ear, too. My nickname is Cut Ear, too. From now on, your nickname is an2Let it be Ballip. -What the hell is this, man?
-Or fine, let it be Twitchy Cheek. How did that occur to you, man? Come on, man, look. I’d give you a headbutt right now, but… So, what? I just had a procedure done. He calls it a ‘procedure’. They’re all, man, like they’ve turned into helium balloons. Just look at them. Make sure your ears hear what comes out of your mouth, man! an2Otherwise… What happens if I don’t hear it, man? Don’t hit my face.
Don’t hit it, I just had it done. Dude, what kind of neighborhood is this?
Weren’t there always troublemakers here? -They’re useless, man.
-Yeah, they’re useless. an2Son, look… You know… So? Your face is very asymmetrical, you know? Seriously.
Mesut, give me the pen. -Give it, bro.
-Here, take it. Look.
Around here on your face, okay?
These areas need filler. Look, these crow’s feet here. They make you look 10 years older, you know? You look terrible.
Terrible, terrible. Look, I just drew this here.
Alright, let’s see. -Alright then.
-Well, I’ll be damned. Now it’s your turn. Step aside. -Brother.
-Thanks, man. We get it, you don’t use a carbon healer. No, I don’t like it. Haven’t you ever washed your face? What is this, man, these areas are full of holes.
You can’t do it like that. Look at your eyelids,
you’re going to get them done. You’re going to get “Fox Eyes”. Without getting “Fox Eyes”,
how do you go out in public, man? an2You say it is a must, huh? My mom used to call me “my hawk-eyed one”,
she actually loved me like that, though. Look, look, that double chin, you know. -We’ll lift this double chin like this.
-Okay. We’ll lift it up like this.
Look, look, look, like this. You’re drawing it however you want, Dad. Mesut, you draw a little too. Look, you’ll lift the brows with a Brow Lift.
Like this. an2-Okay?
-Ok. You’ll also pull the ear
back like this. It’ll be a perfect ten, five stars. Alright, thanks. Apparently we have a lot to do.
We’re basically starting everything from scratch. Man, you go around neighborhood to neighborhood -You’re men who collect protection money.
-Yes. You go into a lot of places. Take care of yourselves a little.
Have some respect for your work, man! Man, the guy is actually right,
you know, Mustafa? -We never take care of ourselves, do we.
-We don’t, man. Right? So how are we going to handle these? Guys, take these, take them to our cosmetic surgeon, okay? an2Let them handle it. Reduce her boobs too. We’ll do something, wait man. -Thanks.
-Come here, let me see. I was actually hiding this with a scarf
but alright. Don’t get involved with the Latin stuff. An2Bilal? Where are they? Did they leave, my child? They went for the procedure, Tonton. So the procedure’s done. No problem. You’re with us. Okay? Really? -Give him your blessing.
-Good for him! No, really—good for him. We have a celebrity.
And of course she has a mother. Let’s see what their relationship is like, sir. Please, go ahead. Do you have any requests, sir? No, thank you very much.
Could I have the check, please? Of course. Upside-Down Love? an2Upside Down Love’s Petek is in our café right now. -Yes.
-I couldn’t recognize you. I just realized now. I’m a huge fan.
I’m a fan of yours, and I also really love the show. Oh, I’m so happy to meet you! May I ask—could we take a photo? Sure, sure. Of course. -Like this…
-I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming. an2Okay. How about I lift you onto my back and we take it like that? an2No. You’re right. I’ll bring the bill right away. Thank you. an2Flower, why don’t you let me?
Get on the man’s back. Mom, why would I climb onto the back of a man I don’t even know? But it was the people who brought you here, kid. What do you think you are? It’s unbelievable. Being famous must seem like such a huge deal to you. I mean, it’s not that bad. Hey, don’t get full of yourself. You’re behaving really badly. I’ll ruin you, I swear. Your fame doesn’t impress me, kid. When I was your age, I was that kind of person. Everyone used to think I was famous. I used to be terribly bothered by them assuming that. But I still allowed them to believe it. As long as it made our people happy. I never wanted to be a famous person. You never were a well-known person anyway. That’s your own dirty thought, my little florist.
I’m well-known enough. Everyone knows exactly when and where they’ll recognize me, don’t worry. I never built my identity on your name, and I never will. Hello. an2Upside Down Love I am Jale, Petek’s mother.
Hello sir. an2Yes, yes, yes. I will renovate my kitchen, God willing, with your help. As we discussed, it’ll be with you. You will send me kitchen-related images. an2When I was little, Çiçek
“Mom, I peed under me” I’m sending the video of her crying like that. So, what do you think? Okay. Wait a second, sweetheart.
Can I ask you something? How will the payment be made?
Cash or via a story? Wait, sweetheart, don’t poke me. Ah, you mean with a story. an2Sure, Çiçek will pay. Petek, or rather,
in terms you’ll understand. Now you say after the kitchen is finished, She’ll reach toward the counter,
and share the story like that. Alright, ma’am,
she also needs to sit on the sink. an2Okay. Okay, sir. We’ll have everything done for you. He’s already with me; he sends his regards. We send you lots of kisses. See you soon. an2Flower, you’re nudging me.
You know I don’t like it, baby. Mom, what promises did you make on my behalf? What are you doing to people? Use your fame for something useful, honey. You’ve gotten arrogant from being spoiled. Besides, without me you wouldn’t have become an actress, Çiçek. Is that so? Mom, when I wanted to be an actress what did you say, remember. “You can,” I said. No, you didn’t say that. You said, “Here — you’ll be one.” I probably said, “You’ll be fine,” in the end. Honey, your mind was really confused back then. I did it to emphasize your ideas. an2I will be a belly dancer as a child
you snapped, Çiçek. Your head was confused, I know that. an2Jale abla? Oh, I wish we’d stayed inside. I’m getting recognized so much today. an2-Hello Mesutçuğum.
-Hello. an2-Petek was also here.
-Yes, Çiçek, but yes. -My daughter, do you remember me?
-No. Take a look. Don’t you remember me? Look this way. No, I still can’t remember. -Your father’s friend Mesut.
-Is that so? Is that so? Nice to meet you. Look, we’re watching. That Şermin, you know,
we keep cursing her. Always cursing… Could we take a photo? -Sure, sure.
-Sorry, we can’t get a photo taken today. She came out without makeup.
Her look is in bad shape. -Maybe another time, God willing.
-No, mom, I put on makeup. Did you do it? Let me see. You really did. an2Why is there such a boat?
Your type is Çiçek today? -Same as always.
-Right, same as always. This is going to turn into a mess now, Mesut, my dear.
Let’s not take any photos with you. You stood over us like Hulagu himself. Please, look, everyone’s watching us.
We’re already overflowing with fame. Can we take you outside, Mesut? an2Hülagu? Gulyabani…
Sis, are you so beautiful that you’re hitting on the girl? What kind of way is that to talk?
-But I mean… Anyway, sis…
-Rude person. Say hi to your brother for me.
-Will you go? I won’t pass on your hello.
-Ah, sorry. He’s such a disgusting kid.
-Shame on you. Ugh, I don’t like it. This fame is suffocating me. an2-Okay, mom.
-I don’t want fame anymore, Çiçek. Maybe I want to stay unrecognized here, in the corridors of my loneliness. I want to disappear.
They come asking for photos, asking for autographs. -Enough already.
-Sweetheart, I’m acting in a TV series. But because of you, I’ve been pushed face-to-face with a fame I don’t want, Çiçek. -I’m really overwhelmed.
-Yes. So I’m going to wear a hat.
I don’t want to draw any attention. You really didn’t attract any attention just now, Mom. Shh. See, the more you talk, the more we’re recognized. Yes. I’m so sorry.
I’m bothering you, but… My sister really likes you too,
but her phone ran out of battery. Could you make a little video for her…
Maybe write ‘To Sibel’ as a signature. Sure, sure, of course.
Normally we don’t do this, but… -Thank you. ‘To Sibel.’
-Of course. Like this… an2-To Sibel.
-Thank you. -I left it like this.
-All right, thank you very much. Sibel, you are a very special child. Ma’am, what are you doing? This is the bill. The bill was requested just now.
Why are you signing it? an2Anyway, Çiçek pays account. an2Jale of Upside Down Love, Oh my, they keep coming down on me, calling me ‘Jale, Petek’s mother.’ Because of that. -Yes. Rude. Don’t leave it on; bring your coat. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Dear mother, come on, get up, get up. Let’s go. -Wait, wait, wait. One minute. an2I had a feeling. Someone might come. I can feel it, dear. Did you get a ‘someone is coming’ feeling? It came, my child. Wait. -How can a mother have such a feeling? Come on, get up. -Come, come. Come, my child, come. Enough. Enough. You’re a very special friend, my child. What kind of coincidence is this, my child? an2What a coincidence?
“We are here, we are in the café with Çiçek. -Didn’t you say, “Come on, that’s enough”?
-It was a really random message. -Oh, so that’s what you’re saying.
-Welcome. Zeki wanted it so much. He really likes you. I mean, my kid is going crazy. Stupid Love, Stupid Love.
I mean, his emotions are through the roof. an2Tepetaklak Aşk. an2Okay, douchebag, upside down,
It is not a very important detail. -Enough. Will you sit down, please?
-No, my dear. -You’re so sweet. You’re so sweet, you’re sitting down.
-Jale! Believe me, I don’t have time.
Look, the kid is going crazy. The child can’t stay still.
I barely got him here. Come on, mom. -Let’s take a picture now, really nicely…
-Mom, mom let’s go home! -Let’s go home!
-He’s getting excited. When the child gets excited, his body reacts in this way… Mom, get close to your sister, get closer. Very talented. I don’t want to, I don’t want to! -I don’t want to, mom!
-He’s getting excited. Um, if there’s a role in your show,
he has amazing talents. -Honestly, he’s got a thousand and one talents.
-Really? an2Shall we do something to your series, Douchebag? -The kid.
-Tepetaklak. We don’t have any child roles. -We can’t do anything at all…
-She will, she will. She’ll make a flower. -Won’t a role come out?
-It won’t. -Won’t it ever come out?
-No, no. A role won’t come out. -Alright, fine.
-Let there be no role, but let there be a picture. -Come on then.
-I don’t want to! -The kid doesn’t seem to want it much, if you want…
-Would that work, honey? He’s just excited. -He’s doing it entirely out of excitement.
-My child, what are you doing? -But I’m five years old. Five, five. -I’m five. I don’t watch series or anything. -Ugh, ugh. -How rude. -These are completely excited reactions.
-In other words, his body is reacting. He’s doing something. He really likes it. Say hi to all the idiots on set, okay? Enough. You’re a very special friend.
My dear. I’m kissing you. -Oh, how much…
-Are you happy? -Mom, what happened over there?
-Oh, Çiçek, you’re making everything into a big deal. He’s just a kid. Okay, you’re artists, but how sensitive are you. -Oh, for God’s sake, leave it.
-Exactly, mom. Come on. Let’s go now. Get up. Sit down, come on sit. Your uncle is coming. Sit. -Why is my uncle coming, mom?
-Why don’t you like him, my child? Why wouldn’t I love my uncle, mom? Why would I -I’m saying it’s because we don’t talk at home.
-Oh honey. You’ve gotten spoiled, you know. You’re spoiled. -Mom, why are we at home with my uncle…
-Your uncle’s coming. Where are you? -Fikri, where are you now?
-What time is it, for heaven’s sake. an2I’m here, Petekçim, I’m here. Welcome, my dear uncle. an2Also I am Flower. an2Flower, right? We’re watching a show, you know.
That’s how it kind of stuck with us. an2-Yes.
-It’s left as honeycomb. an2-Nice series.
-Good. Wow. You’re famous now, Petek. I have. -You’ve become famous. Subutay’s a good kid, huh.
-Good. Handsome. He took it and walked off.
Where is the boy from? -I have no idea.
-Fikri, you’re a kid who talks a lot of nonsense. -Get to the point, dear.
-What point? What point?
-Get to the point. Shut up! an2Now I’m like this, Petekçim. You know, there’s a meatball shop in, in our market. -Aziz Köfte.
-That’s right. Well, I don’t really know, okay? It’s that kind of meatball shop. A nice meatball shop. The meatballs are delicious. -Nice.
-I’m actually coming from there. -I ate a serving of meatballs.
-Yes. I ate fresh green onions with it.
-Enjoy. I wanted to say upfront in case it smells. No, not at all.
By the way, the meatballs are delicious. Of course, looking at us like that, they immediately figured out I was your uncle. How did they know I was your uncle, Uncle? We look alike, face-wise. She looks similar when she’s wearing makeup. When she wears makeup, people often say to me, “the same uncle.” Same, yes.
Let’s get back to the point, Fikri. So if I shave off the mustache, it’s you. an2Now I’m like this, Petekçim. They requested an ad. When they found out I was your uncle, they wanted to film a commercial. -Commercial?
-Your uncle’s telling you something, kid. You immediately say, “Oh, a commercial?” -You listen. We’re continuing.
-Yes. an2That is, you go to Aziz Köfte, You say, “Boss, can you
give me a portion of meatballs?” Then the meatballs arrive. After you eat the meatballs,
you look at the camera. an2You say, “This is Aziz Köfte”. A flavor that makes me forget Subutay. I can’t act in this, uncle. What’s the matter, kid? You’ll go and act. And on your way back you’ll bring two kilos
of meatballs home. It’s that simple. No, Mom, I can’t be in it.
I have a contract, remember, So I can’t be in it. I mean, we already got the money.
I also signed the agreement. What do you mean ‘we got it’? I took it for both of us. Then go give it back, uncle.
I can’t be in it, that’s why. I’m afraid I can’t give it back. an2Reason? an2Koç Bey laid it down in six. The money’s gone. What are you saying? Honestly, uncle, it doesn’t concern me at all.
I can’t be in this commercial. Ugh, it’s always like this, for God’s sake. This guy, your uncle
only deals with him once in a blue moon. What is this man supposed to do? Should he play the victim? Should loan sharks come to his door? Do you want them to beat him, drag him on the ground? Should the state seize his pension? His wife has already left him. His children won’t even look at him. Please don’t do it, dear. Oh mom, you tore into him. I’m telling you I can’t do it. I have a contract. This would have bigger consequences. No way. Alright, fine. Fikri, these people are no good. Let him go. I’ll somehow pay off your debt. That didn’t suit you at all, Petek. an2-Flower!
-Whatever. What the hell. How can you say “right away” when it’s a work thing…
Get up, mom, for God’s sake let’s go home. an2Let’s go. About this uncle of yours,
we’ll also talk about his bad manners. We’ll talk. We’re leaving here. an2Honeycomb in Upside Down Love
Isn’t it? How are you? You and the lady together are really… You’re getting too close. A little farther, please. No makeup — you look pretty rough today. Sorry to butt in, but I’m stepping in. an2Upside Down Love’s Petek’s mother
I’m Jale. Welcome. Oh, uh, sorry.
We really didn’t mean to bother you. -We really love you.
-Thank you. We love him so much. I’m crazy about that Subutay.
Oh, the kid acts so beautifully. What is he like normally? Is he arrogant? -No, no, he’s very sweet.
-He’s a terrible kid. Oh damn. That’s the kind of kid he is. He walks onto the set.
He looks like his face fell into a thousand pieces. He doesn’t say hello to a single makeup artist,
he doesn’t greet anyone. He treats everyone like dogs.
He’s a disgusting kid. What happened? Huh. an2And I was the Jale of Upside Down Love.
Of course, I made a comment. an2A child with an ego, Çiçek.
You know that, but. Yes, honey, that’s right. -You know because you always go to the set.
-I’m on sets every day. I’m really tired. I don’t have time. Let me take the last questions. an2Well, let me ask you then. an2What is Tankut like? -A rogue?
-Not really… No, like everyone else. Tankut is a completely different kid. Oh, that Tankut. He smiles at everyone’s face. If someone’s mood drops, he brings them up.
He kind of perks them up, energetically. He’s like a child to me. He’s a sweetheart.
My Tankut, my baby. My mom saw him from afar on set once.
Suddenly the kid became her child. But don’t cut your mother off.
Your mother talks about him so beautifully. Thank you very much.
You intervened at exactly the right moment. He does, he has those kinds of mishaps.
What’s the matter, Çiçek? Then you could’ve been the life of the set.
Like Tankut, kiddo. Excuse me.
I’ll take the last question too… I’m taking the final questions. I’m short on time.
I have to go to the set. an2In the last episode, Mr. Siter,
He is shooting at Paçin Bey. -Does he die? Please tell me.
-No, unfortunately the script… -He dies.
-He dies horribly.
-Mom! Oh, Mom. Listen.
He’s in a coma for 12 days.
How does he die… They keep him in a coma for 12 days
so you keep watching, you know. -No, it’s fine.
-This is getting really bad. -Oh honey, we can’t talk about anything related to the script. -Oh, for God’s sake.
-Can you look at those movements? -It’s like you’re telling me
she’s acting in Game of Thrones. -In some crappy show. -What, you think you’re my Khaleesi? -You came here to intervene with me just because you’re in a crappy show… an2Ben Upside Down Love, Honeycomb
Of course, I am commenting as his mother. -I’m sorry. I’m sorry. -Hold on. Did you just call it a crappy show? -A really terrible show. -Really awful. Well, the acting is really great. Hold on, stop poking me! The acting is really great. I really can’t find the words
for that production. The visuals are amazing. The director is a terrible director. How awful. He comes in every day. Could someone be such a director? He says he screwed it up and is crying. She says, “I hope the director and the whole production team get fired, dear.” She prays every night. Just kidding, just kidding. Of course, you’ll speak.nYou’ll share your opinion. Of course, of course. I’ll speak up. I’ll say what I think. -Let the ones who should be fired be fired. Come on.
-I hope they get fired. Thank you. Have a good evening. When you say ‘let the ones who should be fired be fired’… Exactly who do you mean
by that? an2Pasha I am from Eyşan. I am the director’s uncle. -Alright. Good evening.
-I’m his sister-in-law. Good evening.
We really enjoy watching you. Thank you. We appreciate it, thank you. Mom, what did you say? Oh wow, the man turned out to be the director’s uncle. -What did you tell them?
-Ah, no, she’s making things up. If he were the director’s uncle, all of Isparta would know him. He’d spread the word to everyone. Is there such a thing as a director’s uncle that nobody knows? Mom, are you everyone? an2Upside Down Love is directed by
Let him walk around saying I’m his uncle. Are you everyone? How would people know… A message came. They fired… Mom, they fired me. They fired me, Mom. Oh my, my career ended before it even started. an2-Mom!
-Flower, flower. I wish you were a belly dancer. I supported you so much, my child. You insisted on being an actor, an actor.
You just can’t do it, my child. Mom, I’m devastated. Oh, why would you be devastated, sweetie?
I’m here. Your mother is here. I know exactly what to do. Your career is just getting started, sweetheart. Boss, make a meatball! Right away, sir. Aziz Meatballs. My meatball. The meatball that made me forget Subutay. It will make you forget. an2Address Boşbayır Caddesi. That’s right. an2No 12. We deliver to homes and businesses. Aziz Meatballs!