NEED TO KNOW
A 15-year-old who loves baking was asked to make food for her family’s Christmas party But after finding out she wasn’t invited to attend, she refused to cook for them Now, she’s trying to decide if she should spend the holidays with her father’s family instead
The holiday season is often thought of as a time for family, but for one teenager, Christmas became unexpectedly complicated.
The 15-year-old, who expressed her love for baking and cooking, found herself caught in the middle of family expectations and her own feelings of exclusion.
“Most of the time I’m making everyone little treats to try or I’m cooking dinner for my family from our background and it’s sort of one of my love languages,” she explained in a recent Reddit post, highlighting how much she enjoys contributing through food.
Stock image of sad teenager cooking alone.
Getty
Typically, on Christmas, her family opens presents at home and then has lunch or dinner at a relative’s house. However, the Reddit user was surprised when her mother said they wouldn’t all be together this year.
Initially, she accepted this without much resistance, but then received a call from her aunt asking if she had “thought of what food I’m making for Christmas night.”
“I asked what she meant and she told me she’s having a party and [my] mum promised I’d make food for everyone,” she wrote.
At first, the teenager was excited to contribute to the family event, seeing it as an opportunity to share her passion for cooking.
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However, the situation became more complicated when she learned the party was considered an “adult” gathering, even though cousins her age were attending.
She expressed her frustration, writing, “I was kind of upset and asked why I was the only one not going. She said my mum thinks I’m just not mature enough for a late party.”
Feeling excluded, the Reddit user decided to speak with her mother, only to get turned down.
“I went to my mum and she didn’t see a problem with me not going, but I told her there’s no way im putting effort into that if I’m being excluded,” she wrote. “I started crying atp and it made my mum angry and she said i was being selfish and acting like a child.”
“I kept pressing for a proper reason but my mum kept saying ‘I don’t want you going and I’m your mother so that’s that.’ ”
The conversation escalated, and she eventually refused to make food for the party, telling her mother, “Then order it.”
Her father offered an alternative, inviting her to spend Christmas with him, which meant she would be two hours away from her mother’s family. This left her in a difficult position, as the party now had no food plans.
Despite suggesting local chicken shops or buying frozen food, the family was unwilling to consider alternatives.
She reflected on the situation, writing: “While they didn’t want me there, I know everyone was counting on me for food and now from their perspective I’m saying no and being selfish because I wanted to spend Christmas with dad.”
Stock image of teenager traveling.
Getty
Commenters quickly rallied in support of the original poster, saying she deserved better and that her feelings were completely valid.
“You are old enough to cook for the party, but not old enough to actually go to the party?” one user questioned. “That’s not how it works. Who does your family think you are, Cinderella?”
Another user urged the original poster to let her mother’s family figure out their food arrangements on their own.
“They wanted your free services to create a full meal for a group of people and you’re not invited?! Insanely rude,” they wrote. “Go enjoy Christmas with people who do appreciate/love you.”
Dining and Cooking