I know paying out the ass for a dinner at a Michelin star restaurant or any fine dining establishment can be steep. However, as a person who works fine dining this just mildly ticked me off. The meal isn’t sufficient anymore and people are expecting a parting gift. Some restaurants have the money and luxury of doing so. Some do not. I have worked fot both.
I guess the concept that I am baffled by is it’s a gift. It shouldn’t be expected. It should be a surprise if offered. I don’t go anywhere expecting anyone to give me something that is not written on my menu or that I paid for. Do I enjoy supplemental mignardise? Hell yeah! But as a person who has to balance food cost, menu pricing and staff- I abhor this mentality.
I will now get off my soapbox. I am hoping to hear some thoughts from our community.
by chychy94
30 Comments
Civie, from my part fine dining is an experience and that little gelato or even a damn mint at the end to close the event has always been the period at the end of the story for the evening. Its just about closure, its not a personal attack for the staff but i would also be disappointed slightly.
Never worked in a fine dining restaurant, but dined in a few. I am with the original OP here: that little something in the end tells the guest: we value you, you’re important, we’re giving you more than you paid for. For a customer that means a positive ending to an otherwise already perfect meal, and makes a difference to a „regular“ restaurant where the waitress presents the check the moment you drop the fork.
Now the fortune cookie has its time to shine!!!! ✨
> Some restaurants have the money and luxury of doing so. Some do not.
Every time I see this “no money for X” attitude I wonder how much the owners and management make…
To me this feels like a business decision.
Used to work in fine dining and loved those little things the places I worked at would do. When I switched to a bit more casual and had any influence on menu I would try and find little things I could make here and there to offer up. It wasn’t always possible but I could see the delight in customers eyes to get gifted even just a bite or two off menu at the end or beginning of a meal.
You’re not getting a raise because they eliminated the free chocolate. Get mad about the amuse bouche if you want.
The surprise people expect would be what the gift is, not whether it comes or not. It’s like paying for business class flying overseas, you have paid for premium and expect gifts in return. If I’m playing devils advocate.
And I kind of get where the customer comes from, as much of fine dining now markets itself not just as “this many courses of this type of food for this much” but often as selling “an experience” and when it comes to experiences like going to the theater or a sporting event etc folks are used to walking out with some object to take to home to allow them to re-experience the experience so to say.
Did you read the comments, people started disagreeing and listing all the little things that places still give as parting gifts.
So, you and the commenter seem to be confused about how commerce works. That “gift” is not free. It’s baked into the price of the meal. And now they’re getting less for their money. It’s okay to be bummed by that, even if they don’t know that’s what’s happening.
> The meal isn’t sufficient anymore and people are expecting a parting gift. Some restaurants have the money and luxury of doing so. Some do not. I have worked fot both.
I wonder if you flip the logic to be from the customer’s POV and tipping…
> The money paid for the meal isn’t sufficient anymore and servers are expecting a parting gift. Some customers have the money and luxury of doing so. Some do not. I have been both.
Restaurants set this expectation for their guests. Call it a gift, whatever, but ultimately in curating a customer service experience the parting trinket at the end of a meal became fairly common. Don’t be surprised when you take something away and people wonder why. I used to get Amazon movies and shows commercial free for being a prime member.
There’s a restaurant in my area that brings a basket of warm madelines at the end, even if you’ve ordered dessert … I’m always WAY too full but they’re too good to pass up : ) I have to admit, I would be very sad if they stopped doing that. Sometimes we get chocolates, as well!
I was at a really expensive fine dining spot recently with my wife and at the end they gave us a copy of the menu with a single chilli seed inside that we could plant at home. Super inexpensive but a great gesture at the end of the night. I think there can be tremendous ROI in small gestures like that.
Edit: to add, these meals are special occasions if you aren’t insanely wealthy. You pay a premium for everything as a guest, the wine list often has prices more than triple what you’d find for the same bottle in a store. Surely a small parting gift for a special experience is worth considering… And isn’t exactly free regardless.
Like it or not, this expectation was set by the fine dining industry (as demonstrated in the list of restaurants on the original post). It doesn’t seem right to blame the customer for it. No one in that thread is being rude; they just appreciate the gesture.
ETA: Wow! Thank you for the awards!
You seem to think that when an establishment gives you a gift that it’s paid for out of employees own pocket. When gifts are a part of the business they are simply managed as any other offering: It’s paid by the customer buying it directly or subsidized by another item. Example: make fries more expensive so we can cover the thin margins on steaks
Best gift I ever got from a high-end place was from Momofuku Ko. I was so blown away by the bread and butter course (the butter was aged in a cheese cave to get its distinctive flavor), they sent me home with a pound of butter and a loaf of bread. They also boxed up the duck carcasses from the meat course for me to take home use for stock. That dinner was seven or eight years ago at this point and I still think about how great everything was, especially the service.
Fun fact PS- I eventually ended up working at the cheese aging facility about a year later. I applied for the job specifically because I wanted to see where the butter was aged. I worked there for about two and a half years and took home my fair share of butter and cheese
I just rewatched The Menu last night, and I had forgotten about the gift bags with house-made granola they handed out to the diners at the end.
Consequently this post gave me a nice chuckle
Im realizing that honestly giving out some kind of little after dinner chocolate or mint would actually make my restaurant just a touch nicer and wish we did this now
I wouldn’t say it’s “expected” as in mandatory, but my partner and I go out for fine dining (Michelin or equivalent) once or twice a year. It was weird to get a little goody bag one year, but not the following year from the same restaurant. The bag was a nice surprise, and it was a little surprising not to get one.
Again, it’s not like it’s explicitly included with the meal or ruins the experience or anything. I thought it was nice but I don’t think it’s a universal thing even at the same restaurant.
Mine isn’t super fine dining, but kinda expensive. We do little mints that say “thank you” on them.
I’ve been to restaurants that do the little mints or chocolates and I think it’s nice. I’m not mad when it’s not there, but I do think it should be, cause it’s a cute little thing and probably gets servers slightly better tips.
I left the industry two years ago, and we would always offer a small plate of homemade chocolate truffles with every table.
I really think that a parting ‘gift’ (included in the price), as well as an extra small dish or two, makes the customer feel just that bit more special and elevates the experience from ‘I had a great time’ to ‘I’m going to tell my friends about this place’. Can’t put a price on that.
Random customer who’s lucky enough to go out for “fine dining” meals semi frequently thanks to corporate expense accounts.
Fine dining is a spectrum as is. A lot of places leave it all on the table and just go hard for four or five courses and I love that. No extra expectations, just enjoying a flawless meal. Perfect.
At the super top level, like $1000 and up for two people before getting into fancy wine, I do expect more. Food hits a certain level where the execution just doesn’t have much more to give. A duck breast can’t be cooked more perfectly. The local ingredients can’t get any more honoured.
At that point you’re basically looking at creativity (is this something truly new to me?) and an emotional reaction to the whole experience.
That extra over the top “gifts” or just feeling like you’re being spoiled by something truly indulgent makes the difference. I’ve dropped $2k on a meal and thought I got a great deal. I’ve spent as much on a place with an extra star and still left thinking “I could have had the same meal at my local bougie bistro for $450.”
In every case the food is so exceptional as a baseline, the difference is how you felt during the dining experience. The story you share with your other diners on the way to the cars. I know it sounds douchey but it’s true.
I understand the rant…but
From another angle, if people stopped tipping gradually, there would be significant anger and a few threads posted
When I was 19 I saved to go to eleven Madison park by myself. I still have my little glass jar that they give you granola in at the end of the meal. Meal was hella overpriced but heck I got a souvenir
No one is expecting shit. It DID used to be more common than these days so there’s a nostalgia. Like mints, toothpicks, matches…. There’s your answer.
I’ve eaten in places, not just fine dining, where they do this and it’s never expected but is always delightful. Our local meze place pushes baklava on you as you leave and I can’t resist. I’d be fairly put out if the Indian stopped giving me a wafer thin mind and a nice warm flannel at the end, I’m not 100% what it’s actually for but I love that warm flannel!
They made a observation in a polite way. I have no problem with it.
I recently had an anniversary dinner at Per Se in NYC, and at the end they gave us an autographed custom menu of exactly what we ordered with our names and anniversary date on top, chocolates, and a tour of the kitchen and wine cellar. It was so nice.
I don’t understand your statement that some places have the money to offer a parting gift as if the cost of those items weren’t always included in the price of the tasting menu. All food that leaves a kitchen is costed into the menu….