I have lived in Rochester for 11 years and have frequented as
many Wegmans throughout my time here. For the most part, I can find what I want
and need at Wegmans, and if I can survive the Thunderdome-esque parking lots, I
can get home to enjoy my purchases. But there is one thing I could never find,
though people all over town rave about it incessantly. It’s not the jumbo-sized
Pub Mix (which seems to come out about once every new moon, so I am just bad at timing
it right to acquire it). It’s not the vegan sour cream; it just happens that I
can only find that at the “P” stores: Penfield and Pittsford. No. The one thing
I had not seen, that everyone in Rochester seems to know and love, is Butter
Boy.
Credit: PHOTO BY RYAN WILLIAMSON
I recently
learned about Butter Boy — Wegmans’ new French butter product with a cartoonish
mascot — through a Facebook meme group dedicated to the grocery store called “Danny
Wegman’s Memes U Feel Good About™.” I don’t recall ever joining this
group, and my attempts to exit it have failed, so I assume that everyone in
Rochester is legally required to be in it — something like jury duty, but for
food consumerism.
For the most
part, the members of the group post things about how “Daddy Wegman” has
provided them with various groceries or how pretty the prepared food section
is. In recent months, folks were posting pictures and marveling at artfully stacked
flavored seltzer displays made to look like watermelon rinds or cityscapes or
just the name of the store branch. Occasionally someone will complain that
their Wegmans has run out of a product and then make a denigrating comparison
of their store to a competing grocery store they’ve deemed beneath them.
But most
recently, the buzz is all about Butter Boy. There’s a picture of a woman
hugging the store’s Butter Boy cutout display with the caption, “Daddy is
giving us Butter Boy!” More posts include: “Butter Boy is coming!,” “Where, oh where is Butter Boy? (sad face emoji),” “Nobody
puts Butter Boy in the corner!,” “Just hanging with me
and the Butter Boys” (with a meme of four Butter Boys dressed as Spider-Man
villains).
Credit: PHOTO BY RYAN WILLIAMSON
My only
response to the buzz was: “What the hell is Butter Boy?” Going to Google
yielded a “butter boy” corn butterer, sold in a certain bed and bath chain
store, located in the “beyond” section. You pop off the head and slather your
corn with the butter that pushes out through his gaping neck hole. Yes, it
looks as horrifying as I just described it. This is not the Butter Boy I was
looking for. The meme group was focused on a different, less disturbing Butter
Boy. He is what I assume is an anthropomorphic stick of butter, with a bulbous
smiley head resembling a Lego Minifigure without the top peg. His shirt and
pants are the same sunny yellow as his face, and his name floats in front of
his midsection.
The memes made
him a bit more interesting. His head was Photoshopped onto a Genny Kolsch can.
People took selfies with the giant character cutout at the store. There were
pranks, too: bakery departments would steal him and hold him hostage from the cheese
section where he is usually located. My feed was regularly bombarded by the
jaundiced chap waving his French flag…wait…is he French? Why isn’t his name
le Garçon de Beurre?
I did not
understand the hype. It’s butter. Who cares about its nationality, and why the
fuss over a giant boy made of butter (cute as he is)? There’s even a change.org
petition requesting that Wegmans make a Butter Boy action figure. That is a
ridiculous idea, though; he would clearly be better as a plush doll.
I decided to
try this Butter Boy French butter to see why it garnered so much attention.
Unfortunately, it was out of stock everywhere I looked. I scoured three Wegmans
stores and could not find the real Butter Boy (the cutout nor the product).
Calkins, Pittsford, and Penfield were out. I waited a week and continued my
search, adding the East Avenue branch. No Butter Boy. Another week went by, and
I had no luck. Was Butter Boy going to be my white (rather yellow) whale?
Before I
gave up and sadly sang Lisa Stansfield’s “All Around
the World” in the rain, I ventured out again and finally found Butter Boy at East
Avenue. At last, I could find out if all the hype was right and the weeks-long
search was worth the trouble. I took a sample of the butter on a roll. It is
richer than any butter I have ever eaten. I could barely taste the sea salt
advertised on the container; it was mostly butterfat. Apparently French butter
is churned longer so it has 2 percent more butterfat than most American butter,
which is required to have 80 percent. That 2 percent makes an exponential
difference in the texture and flavor. It might just be worth the $17.99/lb. it
costs.
Credit: PHOTO BY RYAN WILLIAMSON
It did not
take long to finish the package I bought, and I immediately went to get more,
but alas, they were out again. Butter Boy is an elusive one, due to his
popularity. Is it deserved popularity, though? I have to admit. It may be. Je
t’aime, Butter Boy.
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2019.
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