Should the man always pay for a date in my opinion no because I think we should try to move away from any gender expectations I’m always so surprised how the question who pay on the date seems to be such a controversy in the US I come from a socially conservative
Country so this type of expectation always felt like a trap if I would go on a date expecting a man to perform his stereotypical role then it’s pretty likely that he expects that of me too not that it’s inherently wrong for women to want that but I always had a strong
Motivation to seek Independence because I grew up seeing my mom being expected to not only have a job but also to cook clean and take care of the kids and that unfortunately is often taken for granted so as a teen I feel proud as a new generation to continue destroying these
Outdated roles but now that I’m older I’ve been seeing a trend of these roles being reinforced once again and it may me feel kind of disappointed I like paying for someone else if I’ve known that person for a long time and want to show my appreciation but shouldn’t that
Be a matter of choice rather than pressure but what do you think
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Cabbage rolls with Momo Chutney
In this recipe, tomatoes are blended with water to make the chutney, creating a sauce that covers the cabbage rolls while cooking, rather than discarding it.
Cabbage rolls:
10 Cabbage leaves
2 spring onions
2 tbsp ginger
2 cloves of garlic
4 large mushrooms or 6 small
1 fennel
1 carrot
2 tbsp soy sauce
150g rice
300g water
Momo Chutney:
3cm ginger
5 garlic cloves
1 tbsp sesame seeds
250g tomatoes
6 pieces of dried chilli
2 tsp soy sauce
3 tsp sugar
Cabbage:
Boil the cabbage leaves for around 5 minutes until soft or microwave them with some water in the plate. (Time depends on the type of cabbage; for example, savoy cabbage takes longer.) Set aside.
Filling:
1. Chop the spring onions, garlic and ginger very finely (or pulse it in a food processor). Set aside in a separate bowl and do the same with the remaining vegetables.
2. Fry the spring onions, garlic and ginger in a pan until fragrant and browned. Put in the rest of the veg and soy sauce and continue to fry for another 5 minutes until it reduces in size.
3. Wash the rice, put it in the pan with the water. Cover with a lid and cook on medium heat for around 10 minutes until the rice is fully cooked. If the rice is still tough, add more water.
Sauce:
1. Slice the ginger and garlic into small pieces (doesn't need to be diced). Fry it in a sauce pan with 1 tbsp of oil until they start to brown. Add in the sesame seeds, fry for another few minutes.
2. Add the tomatoes, sugar and soy sauce and pour enough water to cover them. Boil until the skin starts to peel.
3. Take off the heat and blend until smooth.
Assemble:
1. Put 1,5 tbsp of the filling onto a cabbage leave and roll tight. Do that until you have 10 rolls.
2. Place all the cabbage rolls into a pot, pour over the sauce. When the sauce start to boil, reduce the heat to medium-low heat and cook for around 25 minutes until the cabbage is soft.
It looks Amazing
I personally think men should pay. The man is the one who invited the woman, it’s not even a gender thing really.
I used to think the same thing, but now I completely disagree
you ain’t really independent if you don’t pay your half of the food everytime
I expect all my dates to be pay your own, except for the occasional “I got this one.” I don’t understand why spending time with someone has to be transactional. Just communicate expectations and be flexible.
whoever initiates the date pays until they are a regular thing, and once they realise they are going to keep it a regular thing, they can do i ll pay this time you pay the next kind.
as for women, yeah considering the decline in birth rate, it is only expected that women will be asked to be more feminine and take on gender roles bc govt wants us pumping out babies.
though things are better now than it was for our mothers, i often see men asking that their mothers do everything, why cant we do it as well. first of all, we are not their mothers, second of all, even their mothers had it better than their grandmothers, so it is only natural for us to have it better than their moms.
and some even go worse to treat women in their family better than the daughter in law.
and some women actually prefer being that way bc somehow they feel they r better than other women.
What country is she from?
You have a full on war, where if you win, you pay 😭
All asians know what I mean ☺️
I always pay for myself or we would pay a date each. It’s quite anti feminist to expect the guy to pick up the bill every time.
This recipe looks absolutely amazing. Also, I completely agree with you about gender roles. Humanity would surely benefit from abolishing them.
I've felt out of place in today's society. I'm more of a traditional woman who probably falls into more of the category of wife material than girl boss material. However,since Mr. Right hasn't come into my life yet I find myself feeling out of place.
When it comes to who pays for the date I think it depends on the situation. I think the man should pay for the date unless both parties agree to pay for their own dinner.
You guys going on dates? 🥲
Finally someone who makes sense
A great many roles were gendered for a reason but most of those reasons are no longer applicable. A parent should stay home with their kid to raise them thing but there's no reason it has to be the woman, same goes for domestic duties. Very few roles should still be gendered, those of household protection for example, a man is simply stronger, faster, and more durable than a woman so he should be the one charged with domestic security and given appropriate allowances in return.
Die Rollmöbse sind ok. Ich hätte sie ohne Tomatensosse gekocht, die Kohlblätter sind zu groß, es ist Grünkohl nicht Rotkohl und sie sind gepickled (i forgot the word in german, you didnt pickle the cabbage)
I think one should pay for what they order for themselves
Oh you should try the Transilvanian cabbage rolls.. Yours look awesome too❤
ppl should pay for what they ordered or who invited the other on the date has to pay
This looks yummy!
Isn't if funny how people always think they can decide for the collective and say "we should this and that" instead of "I should"? If you don't want a man to pay, if you want to be a modern girl boss, you can. I don't want that. I don't like nor want to pay when we go out. I don't want to work, return home and work some more inside my home. I don't want this life. Being a housewife is a privilege, not a burden, in the western world. I'd rather serve my husband coffee than my boss. I'm underpaid, replaceable, exhausted and stressed at work and I chose a job I like so no, I'm not a silly little housewife saying this without experience, I've seen the workforce, I'm in it, I hate it. Don't speak for me. Thank you.
I come from a family where everyone pays for their own stuff unless other person offers to pay for them or explicitly invites them. Even in my fam's marriages, while they maintain some gender roles enforced despite being a majority of woman, they always take turns on paying stuff or so and its not an issue. And now that i recently got a bf, each pay for their own stuff unless we explicitly offer to pay for the other
Gender roles when done right= good
Unrealistic gender expectations that cause more harm then harmony=bad
As a German that makes her own money I would mind it if a potential SO would always pay for me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice when someone else pays for you now and again, but I like taking others out too, especially when someone makes less money then me, because I remember what it was like when I made little money, it somewhat hinders you from participating in social events.
So if I really want to go out to eat somewhere and I rather take someone along I offer to pay for more, e.g. if there's an appetiser I'd like to try and share I'll pay for it or pay more of a percentage of it.
I think where romantic relationships are concerned, if you have the money, you should take turns inviting the other. Not only is it good to stomp out outdated gender norms, but especially if men are always considered to have to be the ones to pay, I think paying for them might actually be nice for them too.
So many men have been taught to suppress their emotions or not receive praise for certain accomplishments, together with those other gender roles that are being reproduced, it makes for a less healthy mindset overall I think. The best way to combat that is to try and fight gender roles.
Whoever asked the other person on the date pays .