A very real note passed to me by a customer at my pizza restaurant
A very real note passed to me by a customer at my *pizza* restaurant
by DoctorMcTits
50 Comments
CharlesDickensABox
Only slightly less ridiculous than asking for no carbs at a pizza place.
CEHParrot
Just tell that guy you guys don’t have white sauce all your sauce has tomatoes in it and he should kick rocks.
StanleyGucci
No. Entirely fucking no. There’s normal human ways to communicate that. No need to pass a note like you’re robbing the fucking place. The only thing robbed is that person… of their dignity.
CantaloupeCamper
Ain’t nobody got time to read that…
Scottcmms2023
Ok I’d simply tell them we can’t serve him.
FarFigNewton007
No tomatoes and no cheese.
Sir, this is a pizza restaurant. Tasty things with tomatoes and cheese is what we do.
SugarsDaddyKen
Pork chop, cheese and tomato sandwich it is, fucknuts.
bromeranian
Like one could be normal and say ‘Hey, I have a taste and texture aversion to cheese and tomatoes. I really like onions though and most meats except pork are fine. Could you help me figure out something to order?’
Or you could make up a bunch of words and have your waiter, the cooks, the entire group chat, and God read this and roll His eyes.
Be nice while ordering and I promise people won’t think you’re an AH, weirdo, or dumbass!! Be like this and they’re gonna bring you up at every ‘hey remember that customer’ for years to come!!
(And to top it all off, spell psychosomatic right holy hell!)
Wtfytalkingabout
I get the feeling this is going to be a video tutorial on “how to get ~~ejected~~ the food you want” on tictok, maybe sandwiched between a manifestation number video and a another rehash of the fightclub *airline’s want you dead* joke presented as fact
Puzzleheaded_Sea_851
Is that threatening in some ways or am I just tired?
Xxx_amador_xxX
It sounds like this guy has autism. I’m not trying to shame him but I mean, at least he’s aware of what happens and is trying to convey that message. It came off to me as a little silly
jamesinboise
Psychosomatic food neurosis…..
Literally saying it’s all made up in their head
Edited: Changed her to their…
_Red_Eye_Jedi_
Nope.
PsychologicalHall142
“Psycho sematic food neurosis”…I’m dying. 😂🤣🙃
I should clarify, I’m both autistic and a chef, and I would NEVER do this to another living soul. Clarity and efficiency is one thing, but this borders on narcissism.
gottagrablunch
Food neurosis filled event? I’m guessing he’s seen too many Waffle House freak-outs.
demonbadger
I would have told them to get the fuck out.
Consistent_Dress_571
I’d be telling him to go elsewhere. You’re threatening “explosive diarrhea” at the sight of something that might have touched tomatoes
YellowFingerz
No Fuck you, and get the fuck out of my establishment.
That’s how you handle that.
Beanspr0utsss
That’s a lot of words to say “I’m neurodivergent and have food aversions”
mesmereyesed
Why the fuck do people like this go out to eat?
joxuah12
Sorry sir, but after reading the first two sentences, you need to leave.
I’d b like.. this a pizza place.. everything touches cheese and tomatoes..
Yggdrasilo
They’re trying to buy onions, you check nearby stores and watch there be a shortage
skippy920
What kind of person would make something like that up, then spell psychosomatic wrong?
ChloricName
Cheese neurosis is awesome
Dylanslay
Yep that’s a gtfo of my establishment type shit right there
Disposable21409
these are some psycho semantics
turningsteel
“I totally get it. You’re not gonna wanna see how I get if you don’t get the fuck out my restaurant immediately.” Is what I would say if I owned a restaurant.
slothboy_x2
most sane r/onionlovers poster
Ted-The-Thad
We used to left people like this behind the tribe when they got too difficult to take care of.
RAwasAnAlienGod
Serve him pork chops with cheese and tomatoes and call it a night.
jwrado
“Due to your severe food aversions and potentially dangerous consequences should we fail to meet those requirements, we cannot serve you at this time.”
None_Fondant
This man does not know what “psychosomatic” means lolololo. Probably autistic with food intolerances but c’mon.
I would have handed it back and said “your doctor told you your brain is lying to you”
marlow05
Psycho “sematic”? Couldn’t Google save him?
No-Assumption8220
You sunuvabitch, you better not put any pork chops on that pizza..
Quercus408
So they don’t have any allergies or problems other than just being a complete asshole. Nice of them to boil that down to one page.
european_dimes
So you’re threatening to throw a tantrum in my (pizza) restaurant if your food has even a hint of cheese or tomatoes, or if a server even suggests the pork chop (that we don’t serve because, again, it’s a pizza place)? Kindly fuck off, guy.
Traditional-Dingo604
I simply would not serve them because they are clearly Ignatoious from a Confederacy of Dunces, and they’re actively looking for an excuse to make a scene, clamp thier pyloric valve shut and vomit out of both ends.
I’m gonna look up food neuroses. Maybe it’s like PTSD but for food? You see one saltine cracker and it’s just instant level ten rage???
Idk.
Humans be humanin, and we wierd as fuck, y.
IlIlllIlllIlIIllI
ganreous
NachoMuncher420
What is wrong with people these days? Parents just cater to their kids so much that they think the rest of us care about their made up BS?
You’re 86’d, weirdo.
crystalgolem420
Im sorry “Person” all’s we server here are Grilled Pork chop and cheese sandwiches with Tomato soup. Enjoy
funthebunison
Choose my food for me I’m 3 years old and I poop in my pants. No exceptions. I’ll sit on the toilet with my pants up and shit into my underwear and it’s your fault and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t fuck up. Go fuck yourself to death.
Emergency_Pomelo_184
Exercising my right to refuse service to anyone, yikes
50 Comments
Only slightly less ridiculous than asking for no carbs at a pizza place.
Just tell that guy you guys don’t have white sauce all your sauce has tomatoes in it and he should kick rocks.
No. Entirely fucking no. There’s normal human ways to communicate that. No need to pass a note like you’re robbing the fucking place. The only thing robbed is that person… of their dignity.
Ain’t nobody got time to read that…
Ok I’d simply tell them we can’t serve him.
No tomatoes and no cheese.
Sir, this is a pizza restaurant. Tasty things with tomatoes and cheese is what we do.
Pork chop, cheese and tomato sandwich it is, fucknuts.
Like one could be normal and say ‘Hey, I have a taste and texture aversion to cheese and tomatoes. I really like onions though and most meats except pork are fine. Could you help me figure out something to order?’
Or you could make up a bunch of words and have your waiter, the cooks, the entire group chat, and God read this and roll His eyes.
Be nice while ordering and I promise people won’t think you’re an AH, weirdo, or dumbass!! Be like this and they’re gonna bring you up at every ‘hey remember that customer’ for years to come!!
(And to top it all off, spell psychosomatic right holy hell!)
I get the feeling this is going to be a video tutorial on “how to get ~~ejected~~ the food you want” on tictok, maybe sandwiched between a manifestation number video and a another rehash of the fightclub *airline’s want you dead* joke presented as fact
Is that threatening in some ways or am I just tired?
It sounds like this guy has autism. I’m not trying to shame him but I mean, at least he’s aware of what happens and is trying to convey that message. It came off to me as a little silly
Psychosomatic food neurosis…..
Literally saying it’s all made up in their head
Edited: Changed her to their…
Nope.
“Psycho sematic food neurosis”…I’m dying. 😂🤣🙃
I should clarify, I’m both autistic and a chef, and I would NEVER do this to another living soul. Clarity and efficiency is one thing, but this borders on narcissism.
Food neurosis filled event? I’m guessing he’s seen too many Waffle House freak-outs.
I would have told them to get the fuck out.
I’d be telling him to go elsewhere. You’re threatening “explosive diarrhea” at the sight of something that might have touched tomatoes
No Fuck you, and get the fuck out of my establishment.
That’s how you handle that.
That’s a lot of words to say “I’m neurodivergent and have food aversions”
Why the fuck do people like this go out to eat?
Sorry sir, but after reading the first two sentences, you need to leave.
Psycho semantic? Psychosomatic perhaps? Troll def!
Threatening to diarrhea in a pizza place is wild
The No sauce/cheese pizza left sausage would be PERFECT for this person.
No cheese, no pork chops, no tomatoes, extra onions. Seems simple enough. An odd way to put the request in, but very easily accommodated.
They would like the none pizza with left beef
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/None_Pizza_with_Left_Beef
So… he gets Dave’s syndrome over cheese??
I’d b like.. this a pizza place.. everything touches cheese and tomatoes..
They’re trying to buy onions, you check nearby stores and watch there be a shortage
What kind of person would make something like that up, then spell psychosomatic wrong?
Cheese neurosis is awesome
Yep that’s a gtfo of my establishment type shit right there
these are some psycho semantics
“I totally get it. You’re not gonna wanna see how I get if you don’t get the fuck out my restaurant immediately.” Is what I would say if I owned a restaurant.
most sane r/onionlovers poster
We used to left people like this behind the tribe when they got too difficult to take care of.
Serve him pork chops with cheese and tomatoes and call it a night.
“Due to your severe food aversions and potentially dangerous consequences should we fail to meet those requirements, we cannot serve you at this time.”
This man does not know what “psychosomatic” means lolololo. Probably autistic with food intolerances but c’mon.
I would have handed it back and said “your doctor told you your brain is lying to you”
Psycho “sematic”? Couldn’t Google save him?
You sunuvabitch, you better not put any pork chops on that pizza..
So they don’t have any allergies or problems other than just being a complete asshole. Nice of them to boil that down to one page.
So you’re threatening to throw a tantrum in my (pizza) restaurant if your food has even a hint of cheese or tomatoes, or if a server even suggests the pork chop (that we don’t serve because, again, it’s a pizza place)? Kindly fuck off, guy.
I simply would not serve them because they are clearly Ignatoious from a Confederacy of Dunces, and they’re actively looking for an excuse to make a scene, clamp thier pyloric valve shut and vomit out of both ends.
I’m gonna look up food neuroses. Maybe it’s like PTSD but for food? You see one saltine cracker and it’s just instant level ten rage???
Idk.
Humans be humanin, and we wierd as fuck, y.
ganreous
What is wrong with people these days? Parents just cater to their kids so much that they think the rest of us care about their made up BS?
You’re 86’d, weirdo.
Im sorry “Person” all’s we server here are Grilled Pork chop and cheese sandwiches with Tomato soup. Enjoy
Choose my food for me I’m 3 years old and I poop in my pants. No exceptions. I’ll sit on the toilet with my pants up and shit into my underwear and it’s your fault and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t fuck up. Go fuck yourself to death.
Exercising my right to refuse service to anyone, yikes
Just point at the door and say, “leave please”